Frozen Feasting At Fall Festivals



SLIGHTLY OFF THE MARK


            This time of year, as leaves turn to glorious multicolor, steamy hot days of summer vanish, and autumn decorations go up, I can often be found … crying.

            But it seems everyone else can be found at harvest festivals.

            Harvest fests, as you might imagine, are annual celebrations that take place around the time of the harvest. Makes sense. This would be the harvest of food crops, you understand, not the biannual politician harvest that’s often rotten, anyway.

            Ancient people celebrated the harvest every year because they didn’t like starvation. That was pretty much it. Why else celebrate fall? Did the hunter/gatherers look at each other and say, “Oh, look! The sun is disappearing—we might freeze to death again this year. Let’s party!”

            They did not.

            But possibly the only thing worse than freezing to death is freezing to death while hungry. They were happy to wrest a few grains away from the bugs and birds, so they could fill the storehouses with boxes of Pre-Ricestoric Crispies and Frosted By Next Month Flakes.

            “Good news, honey—we won’t have to eat the kids this year.”

            “Oh, good. Now, about that vacation trip across the land bridge …”

            My home town has a harvest fest in mid-September, and at first glance that doesn’t seem to make sense. Remember, Thanksgiving was originally about being thankful for the harvest, and that’s in November. Unless you’re in Canada, in which case it’s earlier and more polite. (“Do you mind terribly if we take your land and give you smallpox? Thank you so much.”)

            At second glance, harvest festivals in Europe often took place near the Harvest Moon, which is indeed near the autumn equinox, which this year is September 22nd. I know, because for me it’s a day of mourning. It marks that time of year when we get those aforementioned beautiful colors, apple cider, hay rides, cursing over faulty thirty year old home heating systems, covering your entire home with plastic, sobbing into your heating bills …

            Where was I?

            So, it’s not unusual at all for harvest fests to come at the same time as Albion’s, which this year is September 20th and 21st.  I’m okay with that, because there’s at least a chance that the weather will still be warm enough to actually want to go outside to a harvest fest. By the time Thanksgiving rolls around, you know you’re going to be having your holiday indoors, and that you should have your snow boots ready, just in case.

            You know what’s a crazy holiday? Halloween.

            “Hey, there’s frost on the pumpkin—literally! Let’s dress up in costumes that we’ll have to hide under winter coats, then go running around the neighborhood until we’re so cold we have to pour the hot chocolate over our hands so we can thaw them enough to open the candy!”

            Talk about a transition period. I still don’t understand why these controversial sexy adult Halloween costumes ever got popular outside of southern California. “Ooh, your pasty-white skin and uncontrollable shivering are so hot! I mean, not literally hot …”

            The local harvest fests generally come before that, but after the August days when you can’t walk in the streets because your shoes melt. They also give us a chance to spend a weekend ignoring that storm of hot wind-blown bull scat, otherwise known as election season. But there’s one problem I always had with September harvests fests:

            Did anyone ask the harvesters?

            Places like England, where harvest festivals date back to pagan times, have shorter growing seasons, so maybe the harvest was over by then. But here in Indiana, there are still a lot of crops in the field at that point. I mean, Albion’s Harvest Fest has a corn maze. This requires corn.

            Corn crops have to stay up for some time, to provide cover for deer as they lie in wait to jump out in front of innocent cars. Now, I’ve never been a farmer,  because I don’t like to work hard. And I’ll grant you, there’s no time of the year when there’s no work for farmers to do. But if we’re going to celebrate a harvest, shouldn’t there be a harvest, first?

            Maybe this is a break time, giving them a chance to celebrate what they already picked, and rest up for the harvesting to come. Maybe the corn isn’t ready, and they’ve already finished picking from the apple, cake, and lunchbox trees.

            What? I told you I’m not a farmer. Maybe the lunchboxes grow underground.
 
A wagon ride tour of Albion at the harvest fest in, yes, Albion.

My daughter, son-in-law, and grand-twins a few years ago at the Albion Harvest Fest ... the kids are about twice this age, now.

10 comments:

  1. Great post.
    And if you were wondering I think the growing season over here this year was 12th June - specifically 2.25 - 2.27 pm.

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    1. It just goes to show: No matter how bad your weather is, someone else's is worse!

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  2. Funny take on holidays. Phoenix and 29 Palms are great for Halloween as it is still warm. You can wear all sorts of costumes. Our church in Iowa would have a Harvest Festival in October. If we were lucky, it was an Indian Summer. I still remember those dear church ladies daring anyone with their eyes not to take some of their specialties. I put a similar scene in Gather the Children. The poor soul couldn't figure out why three women were suddenly glaring at him. By the way, we were still picking corn in early November. The high school even let the farm boys take off days to help with the harvest. That didn't go well with some of the teachers. Nothing like a rural community!

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    1. I remember when I was a kid some of the students who were farmers would take off to help with the harvest, but that hasn't happened around here much for some years -- at least, not that anyone talks about it. In any case, it's the same here: Corn is the last crop to be brought in, and it's not at all unusual for that to still be going on in November. It's also not unusual to see big, bright lights in the fields as harvesting goes on well into the night so they don't *have* to harvest in November!

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  3. Dare I mention that we had frost on the ground this morning?

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  4. In Florida, we sweat at festivals and in our Halloween costumes.

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  5. Nice post. I hate harvest festivals because they are cold. Love Octoberfest though because there's lots of beer and I forget I'm cold.

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    1. Hm ... maybe I should take up drinking ...

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