tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54675336157282399392024-03-18T10:21:21.853-04:00Slightly Off the MarkNovelist. Firefighter. Mustache owner.Mark R Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07685591390353442531noreply@blogger.comBlogger2482125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467533615728239939.post-39877297210256699182024-03-16T13:16:00.004-04:002024-03-16T13:16:00.141-04:00Old Firefighters Never Die: They Just Smolder<p> So, I'm retiring. Not from my full time job of dispatching to become a Gentleman Author, as I wanted. (It's like a Gentleman Farmer, a rich person who just farms as a hobby. No real farmer is a Gentleman Farmer, especially considering their ungentlemanly language while going through bills.)</p><p>At my full time job we got an email pointing out, now that one of the Sheriff Department detectives has retired, I have the most seniority of anyone there or in dispatch. By six years. Maybe in the entire Noble County Government, although I'm not motivated to find out.<br /></p><p>Nor will I retire from writing, until they pry my fingers from the keyboard. Maybe not even then, if I can manage text to speech. No, I'm retiring from what I've done longest (other than biological functions) in my adult life: firefighting.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioYGR0cHOmXz5RkvjLo8bDPV6u8VJ5J93t5LgiT1r9sM7lIW3ze9O1Hk4N8K-lnN-650gOUu4jITYBLPRX1aWaLl6ACLVgvrKhBvKGxatBc4IXn2LUrejgexlS9SSarI_bE7Wdau4-497ZZRtTtFttzYncvmHwkdiS6hUO8RxS3h8Zf2Y7wamFMUP6eUOM/s4032/AFD%20awards%202.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioYGR0cHOmXz5RkvjLo8bDPV6u8VJ5J93t5LgiT1r9sM7lIW3ze9O1Hk4N8K-lnN-650gOUu4jITYBLPRX1aWaLl6ACLVgvrKhBvKGxatBc4IXn2LUrejgexlS9SSarI_bE7Wdau4-497ZZRtTtFttzYncvmHwkdiS6hUO8RxS3h8Zf2Y7wamFMUP6eUOM/s320/AFD%20awards%202.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><p> That's Phil Jacob standing beside me, holding his pin for being a firefighter for 55 (!) years. I remain unconvinced Phil will ever retire. In fact, I should put off working on my Haunted Noble County book, because fifty years from now he'll be haunting the Albion firehouse. When I look at him (or Tom Lock, who joined up six months before I did), I realize I'd never have the most seniority on the Albion Fire Department.</p><p>I don't know how they do it. I beat my body down too badly. After working a fire, I'd be in so much pain I couldn't function for days. My back pain goes all the way back to back to back fires way back in the 80s, where I wore a steel air tank for longer than even a young pup should. It got progressively worse, and I slowly realized over the last few years that I was threatening to become another victim to treat at an emergency scene, instead of contributing.</p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkEw2tprh2sUZn83N_CGhlLjrNiz8WbeyGpVEIlrXsTlN1GcAfaqu0otRxYV5dQoxYqAhNPkt8rI3gxsKE6yaPMAGXCh8z61HTkNK2ozSfsPzYJ4gRnZDgLA3CThpyBg7UcZ_gb64KO_25FpNWct28yMio7VFowBnLoSTJGv3mA7k3Cdc5COzaBSAl2Flu/s909/ChangingTanks.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="581" data-original-width="909" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkEw2tprh2sUZn83N_CGhlLjrNiz8WbeyGpVEIlrXsTlN1GcAfaqu0otRxYV5dQoxYqAhNPkt8rI3gxsKE6yaPMAGXCh8z61HTkNK2ozSfsPzYJ4gRnZDgLA3CThpyBg7UcZ_gb64KO_25FpNWct28yMio7VFowBnLoSTJGv3mA7k3Cdc5COzaBSAl2Flu/w400-h256/ChangingTanks.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>The tanks are a lot lighter now, but I'm a lot heavier. And I have less hair.<br /></i></td></tr></tbody></table><p> </p><p>In the last year I developed shoulder problems. Recently my knees started acting up, in a temper tantrum kind of way. (And they make strange noises.) I've got arthritis in my big toe, for crying out loud. Ever since Covid, it's been all I can do to get through a day without falling asleep on the couch. Okay, maybe six decades of living has more to do with that than Covid.</p><p>I'm not complaining so much as explaining. I loved firefighting. The guys and gals who volunteer at the AFD, and our neighboring departments, are my brothers and sisters--they're family. But I couldn't even go to the station much, especially between those murderous 12-hour night shifts in dispatch that wouldn't happen if I was a gentleman author.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpOQRoP8Txmn_7mCBvRhlFfS5fhs4gLo_pCeDIgPFG_S4_KCJSrUyoDsRyDHwnPE87eB_YMjg2TU8tAX60CNB54gV6GkFgYmsfur0i50LKAdJJSpPHySzrjsgnStGZJAyWMNxK7BxRS3cm_5AWvyCdedJssyPLZ_1InYoDzhkAs9ww_cC24SeDk7Wr-pff/s2048/AFD%20Awards%204.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpOQRoP8Txmn_7mCBvRhlFfS5fhs4gLo_pCeDIgPFG_S4_KCJSrUyoDsRyDHwnPE87eB_YMjg2TU8tAX60CNB54gV6GkFgYmsfur0i50LKAdJJSpPHySzrjsgnStGZJAyWMNxK7BxRS3cm_5AWvyCdedJssyPLZ_1InYoDzhkAs9ww_cC24SeDk7Wr-pff/s320/AFD%20Awards%204.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><p>But I put it off. I didn't want to admit I can't do something I used to be able to do. When I finally told my wife I was pulling the plug, she wasn't a bit surprised. Most likely no one was.</p><p>So I wrote the membership a letter, and a few weeks later, when we walked into the annual AFD Appreciation Dinner, I saw my name tag and a helmet with my number on it. It was real. I had by then reached the depression stage of grief. I'll let you know when the acceptance stage arrives.</p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrmKr9mq7yfHQ0UyvnW75uc3cKMgD-o7N48IdXXuytaKXm2Fn107zo8bZEOYd7gSo76jZhWxKOjnCBQ1XTGXPN51Yjf1A-8KxHDBtw84V9rMBFaaSLiNSuC6hpPJiomN44PTnoStzLm79Lo7r9qrp8SejXamnxalqGxmloHv7mwvVvf-QGyfjLjVSqZGbS/s2048/AFD%20awards%206.JPEG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrmKr9mq7yfHQ0UyvnW75uc3cKMgD-o7N48IdXXuytaKXm2Fn107zo8bZEOYd7gSo76jZhWxKOjnCBQ1XTGXPN51Yjf1A-8KxHDBtw84V9rMBFaaSLiNSuC6hpPJiomN44PTnoStzLm79Lo7r9qrp8SejXamnxalqGxmloHv7mwvVvf-QGyfjLjVSqZGbS/s320/AFD%20awards%206.JPEG" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Here's Brian Tigner, a hard worker for the AFD, giving me my stuff and telling me they'd just as soon I left through the back door. Kidding! The reconditioned barn where we had dinner was awesome.<br /></i></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p>Wow, this turned out to be more of a downer than I'd planned. It's not all bad: I'll stay on as an honorary member, doing the Facebook page, taking pictures, doing public information stuff, and so on. I'm also halfway done with that new AFD book, which keeps getting put on the back burner for one reason after another. But I'm thinking of going to this year's Fish Fry as a diner instead of a server ... that concrete floor is hell on my back.</p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmSUi7gLUHQ_eU5ANusQpRKfsUBbDkCepTl4Kdl45vR8Lps63rRkHMyq-g4KspGB0X9VHqY5Gk5ZZMGgiLjO_40IxOPTZ3F8KRB7WE4QifZQfHJKoD_tt61X3nGjGeHGF9m8nqbKoJDfVkz0wpeT4I6ZlHkZruqSwDMSe0v5e53PQx57ZTuvt3WyIu7DHH/s1928/AFD%20awards%205.jpeg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1928" data-original-width="1466" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmSUi7gLUHQ_eU5ANusQpRKfsUBbDkCepTl4Kdl45vR8Lps63rRkHMyq-g4KspGB0X9VHqY5Gk5ZZMGgiLjO_40IxOPTZ3F8KRB7WE4QifZQfHJKoD_tt61X3nGjGeHGF9m8nqbKoJDfVkz0wpeT4I6ZlHkZruqSwDMSe0v5e53PQx57ZTuvt3WyIu7DHH/s320/AFD%20awards%205.jpeg" width="243" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>I look good in red flannel. I do, TOO.<br /></i></td></tr></tbody></table><p> </p><p>To this day, I don't know how I worked up the courage to walk into that firehouse door on my eighteenth birthday. Me, the shy, antisocial introvert with no interest in being on a team--except this one. Every time I headed up to the station, I stepped outside my comfort zone. If I hadn't I'd have missed most of the events of my life, and I wonder then if I would have ever had anything to write about.</p><p>And for every bad thing I experienced, there were a dozen great things. <br /></p><p>Forty-three years. I'll carry them forever ... in a good way.<br /></p><p> </p><p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><ul type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Amazon:</span></b> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO" target="_blank">https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Barnes & Noble:</span></b> <a href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/%22Mark%20R%20Hunter%22" target="_blank">https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Goodreads:</span></b> <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter">https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Blog: </span></b><a href="https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Website: </span></b><a href="http://www.markrhunter.com/" target="_blank">http://www.markrhunter.com/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Instagram: </span></b><a href="https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Facebook: </span></b><a href="https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Linkedin: </span></b><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/" target="_blank">https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Twitter: </span></b><a href="https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter" target="_blank">https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; 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<p class="MsoNormal"><i> </i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>Remember: If you send a book to every retired person you know, they might not complain that you never come to see them.</i> </p>
Mark R Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07685591390353442531noreply@blogger.com1Albion, IN 46701, USA41.3956043 -85.424424113.085370463821157 -120.5806741 69.705838136178841 -50.268174099999996tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467533615728239939.post-43633020907496064622024-03-07T19:04:00.001-05:002024-03-07T21:03:49.283-05:00Tornado Terrors: Twisted Twisters, or Breaking Winds<p><i>This coming week is Severe Weather Preparedness Week. Here are some useful safety tips from actual experts: <a href="https://www.in.gov/dhs/get-prepared/nature-safety/severe-weather-preparedness/">https://www.in.gov/dhs/get-prepared/nature-safety/severe-weather-preparedness/</a></i> <br /></p><p> </p><p> Some say the best advice you can give when it comes to tornadoes is to keep your insurance paid up and update your will.<br />
<br />
I prefer preparation: At the beginning of March, dig a big hole in
your back yard, then get into it while wearing a helmet and one of
those "Red man" protective suits that a police dog can't penetrate. Then have the hole lined in concrete, and covered with an armored steel
plate. The order is very important: Get in the hole <i>before</i> it's sealed off. You might want to bring
in water, snacks, a portable toilet, a book to read, and, of
course, a bottle of oxygen.<br />
<br />
(I would suggest you take along my novel <i>Storm Chaser</i>. 'Cause--theme. Or at least <i>The Wizard of Oz.</i>)<br />
</p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKYHZ0LIE67pZztHvmR_64InoXvLTrMVVXEGvLkivhVZ1G6oR7qt2XZQU1AzSwGCc_uoj9WKfifag5_HdOpVtFvi2MNfpDRbgEXntIu7nmOj7yj4s1zEi5oeShTWsEjozFjDApns4picA5HQgRyhjGPzxxX37KeXZJzUau7692DjNO05OwZP5fEvrYw0yo/s1080/78909-209.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1080" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKYHZ0LIE67pZztHvmR_64InoXvLTrMVVXEGvLkivhVZ1G6oR7qt2XZQU1AzSwGCc_uoj9WKfifag5_HdOpVtFvi2MNfpDRbgEXntIu7nmOj7yj4s1zEi5oeShTWsEjozFjDApns4picA5HQgRyhjGPzxxX37KeXZJzUau7692DjNO05OwZP5fEvrYw0yo/w400-h266/78909-209.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Say ... has anyone told that lady there's a tornado behind her?"<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p><br />
</p>Then, wait until, say, November. Then winter is approaching
but hurricane season is past, so you could move to the Gulf
Coast. But, because tornado season down there is pretty much year
round, you'll have to dig another hole and buy more concrete and steel.
Vicious cycle, there.<br />
<br /> So, a quick review of weather terms. A severe thunderstorm watch
means you might get severe thunderstorms. A severe thunderstorm warning
means the light show has started. I don't get what's hard
about that, but it still confuses people.<br />
<br />
Similarly, a tornado watch means conditions are right for a tornado to form, and you should, you know, watch. In the novel <i>The Wizard of Oz</i>
that's literal: Uncle Henry goes outside, watches, and
announces, "There's a cyclone coming, Em ... I'll go look after the
stock".<br />
<br />
How exactly he plans to protect the stock remains unclear. But if there's one thing the movie <i>Twister</i>
taught us, it's to to watch for low flying cows. Meanwhile,
in the time it takes for Toto to hide under the bed and thus endanger
Dorothy (man's best friend--hah), the cyclone is upon them and the next
thing you know ... witch pancake.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsIx79waR29ckCpySRo5gCGQ68WQ1_2Myl9NHKVJrL2Z-1PfRbOVstclgGJ-Zq9po9EioYO1x0E_ewf4ekjti5y1WLVKdAekBbMMJXsa2T5KtbZz0yo4uBAwFIyi3IgLLJdWbIuVXkKgcN/s1600/Oz+bag.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="840" data-original-width="630" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsIx79waR29ckCpySRo5gCGQ68WQ1_2Myl9NHKVJrL2Z-1PfRbOVstclgGJ-Zq9po9EioYO1x0E_ewf4ekjti5y1WLVKdAekBbMMJXsa2T5KtbZz0yo4uBAwFIyi3IgLLJdWbIuVXkKgcN/s320/Oz+bag.png" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Before you think you're safe from tornadoes, remember what one did to this chick.</i></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i> </i></td></tr>
</tbody></table><p>
<br /> </p><p>If Henry only had a radio, TV, alert scanner, or nearby siren,
he might have had enough warning to look after the stock <i>and</i> see Em and Dorothy safely to the cellar. The witch would still get
smooshed, so--happy ending for all. Except for the Scarecrow on his pole,
and the rusted Tin Woodman, and the Winkies being terrorized by the
other witch ... okay, bad example.<br />
<br />
But hey, it was 1900. The point is, you don't have to <i>literally</i> watch anymore. You don't want to be under that cow when it drops in. Or a house.<br />
<br />
Now, a tornado warning means that if you go outside, you <i>will die</i>.<br />
<br />
Actually, a tornado or funnel cloud has been spotted in your area, so you <i>may</i>
die. Over the years I've managed to take a few pictures of funnel
clouds, which puts me firmly in the camp of people who are too dumb to
metaphorically (and sometimes literally) come in out of the rain. There
are now millions of photos and videos of tornadoes; is it worth having
one of your own?</p><p>It is not.<br />
<br />
</p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9Y6OgYyw6BwZjjROfH5RDvlZktiZV2B-M6on_kA9d34w3xXUIV8dGexdK9rLzxtLIzbp4gl4Ie0JuvFxv-YdUdyXwUDn3iDjoTwKaukYBZz7ylpcEeVCNnXG3PnnASYWkADdeRUoj_lsc/s1600/Red+Sky+in+the+morning.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="840" data-original-width="1120" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9Y6OgYyw6BwZjjROfH5RDvlZktiZV2B-M6on_kA9d34w3xXUIV8dGexdK9rLzxtLIzbp4gl4Ie0JuvFxv-YdUdyXwUDn3iDjoTwKaukYBZz7ylpcEeVCNnXG3PnnASYWkADdeRUoj_lsc/s320/Red+Sky+in+the+morning.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Remember this easy rhyme: Red Sky In the Morning: You're Screwed.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table><p>
<br /> </p><p>What should you do if a tornado warning is declared? Go to a windowless interior room on the
lowest level of your house. If you're in a building with no
basement--what were you thinking? But lower is always better, anyway.<br />
<br />
Windows are bad. Tornadoes, hurricanes, meteor strikes--people get cut up by glass during natural disasters. (I'm not kidding about the meteor strikes: just ask the people in Chelyabinsk,
Russia.)<br />
<br />
Old timers will tell you to crack a window to equalize pressure, or go
to a specific corner of a room, but that's proven to be
unhelpful. Besides, the tornado will take care of cracking all the
windows. You're better off under a piece of sturdy furniture--Toto had
the right idea--that you can hold onto. A small center room, such as a
closet, or under a stairwell is good, and a bathtub might offer some
protection.<br />
<br />
</p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQbOg84TA-bA_B1TQ2hDDwQs0NdtuouXNwxeNRR9EQVPrLLQxMG0jYwrNnmy4ZMi5I6kb2HxgWwHu8ziyUFXSUgO8YqMDUp3MQfbcL-6qKAXZvY3lVcaeCjP9oe6ptdk7wzNVCAoydvrpj/s1600/Big+Cloud.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="840" data-original-width="630" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQbOg84TA-bA_B1TQ2hDDwQs0NdtuouXNwxeNRR9EQVPrLLQxMG0jYwrNnmy4ZMi5I6kb2HxgWwHu8ziyUFXSUgO8YqMDUp3MQfbcL-6qKAXZvY3lVcaeCjP9oe6ptdk7wzNVCAoydvrpj/s320/Big+Cloud.png" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Well, that can't be good. </i></td></tr>
</tbody></table><p>
<br />
So, let's review: Your safest location is in a bathtub that's in a
closet under a stairwell in your basement. My bathroom is the size of a
closet, so that's a start.<br />
<br />
Actually, your safest location would be in the states of Alaska, Rhode
Island, or Vermont, which each average less than one tornado a year. But
we're in the Midwest, under the tourism-attracting nickname of "Tornado
Alley". Indiana ranks #14 in states for the number of tornadoes. I
suspect, if adjusted for square miles, our rank would be higher.<br />
<br />
Okay, I just checked. When it comes to tornadoes per 10,000 square
miles, Indiana ranks three. When it comes to killer tornadoes we're
eight, and when it comes to the total length of a tornado path we're
also eight. So there you go. Be afraid. It's only smart. And train your
dog to go straight to the storm cellar.<br />
<br />
Now, since tornado safety is really a serious subject, here are a couple
of links to websites that treat things way more seriously than I do:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.tornadoproject.com/safety/safety.htm">http://www.tornadoproject.com/safety/safety.htm</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.redcross.org/get-help/how-to-prepare-for-emergencies/types-of-emergencies/tornado#Before">http://www.redcross.org/get-help/how-to-prepare-for-emergencies/types-of-emergencies/tornado#Before</a></p><p> </p><p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
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</p><ul type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Amazon:</span></b> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO" target="_blank">https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Barnes & Noble:</span></b> <a href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/%22Mark%20R%20Hunter%22" target="_blank">https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Goodreads:</span></b> <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter">https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Blog: </span></b><a href="https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Website: </span></b><a href="http://www.markrhunter.com/" target="_blank">http://www.markrhunter.com/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Instagram: </span></b><a href="https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Facebook: </span></b><a href="https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Linkedin: </span></b><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/" target="_blank">https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Twitter: </span></b><a href="https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter" target="_blank">https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Youtube: </span></b><a href="https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Substack:</span></b> <a href="https://substack.com/@markrhunter">https://substack.com/@markrhunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Tumblr:</span></b> <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914">https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914</a></li></ul>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i> </i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>Remember: As long as you have a flashlight, reading is weather resistant.</i> </p>
<p> </p>Mark R Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07685591390353442531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467533615728239939.post-9948196196783320522024-03-01T17:00:00.003-05:002024-03-01T22:43:43.250-05:00Mother Nature Is a Tease<p> She pops out for a day, shows a little leg, smiles demurely, and
disappears again, leaving her anxious suitors to suffer through more cold and wet. It’s hardly any wonder that the symbol of
weather should run hot and cold, but sheesh – enough is enough.<br /><br />
The stupid groundhog predicted an early spring, but he didn't say it would come all at once. What is a groundhog, anyway? It’s a
big rat. Set a trap, somebody.<br /><br /> Even more than
usual, our weather pattern looks
like a heartbeat on an EKG. It reminds me the old days, when I walked to school barefoot, in a raging
blizzard every morning and a blistering heat wave in the afternoon. (Uphill both ways, blah blah blah.)<br /><br /> I really should get around to admitting I only lived two blocks from school.<br /><br />
As a result of the bouncing weather, some people say they'd rather it just stay cold all the time. Their brains are still frozen. Saying cold all the time instead
of warm some of the time is like saying that, since you can’t eat 24
hours a day, you’d rather just starve. To carry the heavy comparison further, I’d rather weigh
300 pounds but be alive than be the first member of my family to
voluntarily starve to death.</p><p></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjl10nK23FDbouhz4goeDvBkcqjYR6tj8bHYW3lYamGYQ-TaUU2tnNWpaQxfRdAv-5fAlyHM2y5l107rH7FcwF2BakGoR6WPInLBcWo_cbytjDiVJpTK2cQkL4K7z8YAQDFBT9kW5IWMpgeDEpc_c5Q8-qUFZE3z3FZBtcoD2SQcdn-L9_QPTuweBB7r99r/s1569/Courthouse%20snow%20November%202022.jpeg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1569" data-original-width="1535" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjl10nK23FDbouhz4goeDvBkcqjYR6tj8bHYW3lYamGYQ-TaUU2tnNWpaQxfRdAv-5fAlyHM2y5l107rH7FcwF2BakGoR6WPInLBcWo_cbytjDiVJpTK2cQkL4K7z8YAQDFBT9kW5IWMpgeDEpc_c5Q8-qUFZE3z3FZBtcoD2SQcdn-L9_QPTuweBB7r99r/s320/Courthouse%20snow%20November%202022.jpeg" width="313" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Most of my best winter photos are taken from inside. I care less about glare than I do about frostbite.<br /></i></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p><br /><br /> Summer now goes by much more
quickly than it used to, and winter – strange as our recent winters have
been – lasts much longer. When I was a kid, the
average summer lasted eighteen months. Seriously. I would go out to play
after breakfast, and wouldn’t come in again for three days, just in
time for lunch. The summer when I turned nine lasted for over six years.
It’s a science-fictiony mystery, but there you go. We went down to
Kentucky for a two week vacation that lasted so long we had to cut down
trees to get the car back on the road.<br /><br />And it never got hot.
Kids could wake up in the hospital with two IV’s in their arms to
rehydrate them, and have no idea they were ever overheated. Then they’d
go home and run back outside again. Sure, most of us didn’t notice the
cold, either, but we sure noticed when we started getting feeling back
into our limbs. It was like getting a power pinch from our least
favorite aunt – all over.</p><p><br /></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaXsqNwZr9nc95Z8rntEz076slbPnN2avnqBgEqirnn2eY2rIBVzjlFgmDUnFTb_yNhcHOxxkjsIqEj5YIGToW_OKJPHAwxtctoIyNI4YnUloam4hugo8NQTqjwVLn8T2DbC7iTh7NCZgI1V1Yaizr7QURQubatMqLXXQyMLHOCjErIXYlr30c-d7J3CDK/s3664/101_0081.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2748" data-original-width="3664" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaXsqNwZr9nc95Z8rntEz076slbPnN2avnqBgEqirnn2eY2rIBVzjlFgmDUnFTb_yNhcHOxxkjsIqEj5YIGToW_OKJPHAwxtctoIyNI4YnUloam4hugo8NQTqjwVLn8T2DbC7iTh7NCZgI1V1Yaizr7QURQubatMqLXXQyMLHOCjErIXYlr30c-d7J3CDK/s320/101_0081.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Isn't this fun? SO much fun. Later I'm having hot chocolate and a good cry.<br /></i></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p> </p><p> Even the bad things about summer are
proof that summer is good: <br /></p><p>Bugs? Hate ‘em. But why do they come out
during the spring? Because during winter they’re dead. Everything’s
dead. It’s a dead season. Mother Nature is dead – the first lightning
storm of the spring is like a giant defibrillator, starting her heart
back up.<br /><br /> No lawn mowing during winter. Why? Grass is dead. No
poison ivy during winter. Why? Dead. Snakes? Dead. No spiders during the
winter. (Spiders are not bugs. Bugs are just bugs – spiders are evil.)
Even spiders know dead when they see it, although many think it looks
like the bottom of my shoe.<br /><br /> Hot and humid is unpleasant, I get
that, but nobody's car ever slid into a snowbank
because the sun was shining too much. No poor match girl ever froze to
death under a shade tree during an Independence Day
celebration.</p><p>Tornadoes? Terrible things, mile-wide vacuum cleaners. But blizzards have covered half the friggin’
country. Besides, no matter how strong it was, no meteorologist ever
mentioned “tornado” in the same sentence as “wind chill”.<br /><br />
Winter even smells dead – spring smells of
fresh cut grass, and lilacs, and that earthy scent that comes with a
warm summer rain. And yes, it also smells of hot asphalt, and dairy
farms, and sweat, but that’s a small price to pay for driving down a
country road with the window open and breathing deeply as you pass a
cornfield.</p><p> </p><p></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2TAFtB4ol3ueIsIhyCXxLAH265fD-u8_O0s_Sm1ZXcQqBDN6kg3fbvRVlEvVFwr6k73pxVRHbrzrGQMvqgypG6AWmfa8yOZBGrAG6eNyQCGMqIlyCzNNV3P8DK79ytmIh-xztiDprxr1n3N6tWBr0eJjBuhRUp69-Z6YSpnbdq4Q6iAaZ8DoxC5QfFdbE/s857/Ice%20baby.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="643" data-original-width="857" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2TAFtB4ol3ueIsIhyCXxLAH265fD-u8_O0s_Sm1ZXcQqBDN6kg3fbvRVlEvVFwr6k73pxVRHbrzrGQMvqgypG6AWmfa8yOZBGrAG6eNyQCGMqIlyCzNNV3P8DK79ytmIh-xztiDprxr1n3N6tWBr0eJjBuhRUp69-Z6YSpnbdq4Q6iAaZ8DoxC5QfFdbE/s320/Ice%20baby.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Pretty, isn't it? And DEAD.<br /></i></td></tr></tbody></table> <br /><p></p><p> <br /></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Almost everything’s green, with patches of other
bright colors like spotting a forgotten twenty dollar bill.
Green is life. Winter has no color: It’s black and white and dead all
over. I could also go for the cliché and mention the sounds – birds,
frogs, insects, all more relaxing than the sound of sleet on siding, or
furnaces kicking on. Finally, lest we forget, the feel of walking around
in shorts and shirtsleeves, without the accompanying frostbite.<br /><br />
Warmth makes everything a little better. Sure, you can’t store your
frozen goods on the back porch, but that’s a small price to pay for
opening the window and breathing real air.<br /><br /> So come on out, Mother Nature, don’t be a tease. And don’t bother bringing your winter coat.</p><p></p><p><br /></p><p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><ul type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Amazon:</span></strong> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO" target="_blank">https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Barnes & Noble:</span></strong> <a href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/%22Mark%20R%20Hunter%22" target="_blank">https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Goodreads:</span></strong> <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter">https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Blog: </span></strong><a href="https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Website: </span></strong><a href="http://www.markrhunter.com/" target="_blank">http://www.markrhunter.com/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Instagram: </span></strong><a href="https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Facebook: </span></strong><a href="https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Linkedin: </span></strong><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/" target="_blank">https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Twitter: </span></strong><a href="https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter" target="_blank">https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Youtube: </span></strong><a href="https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Substack:</span></strong> <a href="https://substack.com/@markrhunter">https://substack.com/@markrhunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Tumblr:</span></strong> <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914">https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914</a></li></ul>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i> </i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>Remember: When wrapped in plastic, books make good umbrellas. Use hardcover.</i> </p>
Mark R Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07685591390353442531noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467533615728239939.post-28241859921248984832024-02-22T17:30:00.001-05:002024-02-22T17:30:00.143-05:00A Toy Soldier Story<p> As a kid, I had to use my imagination. No cable, no video
games, no Anarchist Cookbook on the internet. If I’d tried to buy the
ingredients for a bomb, the store clerk would have been on the phone to
my parents before I reached the door.<br /><br /> Then I’d have to cut my own switch, ending my bomb-making aspirations.<br /><br />
Instead I wandered, literally, over hill and dale, made dams in
the creek, plodded through swamps. I had a handful of favorite toys, dogs for companionship, and imagination. Any place was a
playground, any object a toy.<br /><br /> Every now and then I still
check out the toy aisles, but today’s toys just aren’t interesting. You
can’t play with today’s toys. You sit and look at them
while they play themselves.</p><p></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhywiL34AFhgZwTq8flwPeekf-TiU-dYcaZ8TSQRUXkLv19p7rD8YYLKBsh5aWLlZ2a2KsCGQOooVYw_-vIwuBsYIl847abwQ6mDb1WiEhbixHsFVKeJIrXIJtOaQNuCkqzD5MweNuzQ-maocQHLc845bI9_bH1R819f9IDXKwjfSIBw-unolqVfL6K03Wn/s512/Lilly%20and%20Bae.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="512" data-original-width="464" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhywiL34AFhgZwTq8flwPeekf-TiU-dYcaZ8TSQRUXkLv19p7rD8YYLKBsh5aWLlZ2a2KsCGQOooVYw_-vIwuBsYIl847abwQ6mDb1WiEhbixHsFVKeJIrXIJtOaQNuCkqzD5MweNuzQ-maocQHLc845bI9_bH1R819f9IDXKwjfSIBw-unolqVfL6K03Wn/s320/Lilly%20and%20Bae.png" width="290" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm old enough now that grandkids and pets are the best gifts. Not that I'd turn down 60s era Marx toy soldiers. <br /></i></td></tr></tbody></table><p></p><p><br /> </p><p>Oh, you might press a few buttons,
but they do all the rest. They make noise, flash lights, speak to you,
move around, until they need recharged. I’m not talking
just about video games, which at least give you hand-eye
coordination. But on that subject, what do the game makers brag about
most? Better graphics and sound, and realistic cut scenes.</p><p>Heaven forbid you should imagine any of that.<br /><br />
We
generally got toys twice a year, for Christmas and birthdays. My parents never bought me toys because I got a good grade, or
cleaned my room, or avoided juvenile hall. I did that stuff because if I
didn’t, I’d have to cut a switch. Getting a switch used on me was bad;
having to take that long walk out to the bush to cut one was much, much
worse. I’d rather pull my teeth out with pliers and use them to chew off
my own ear than get sent out to the bush.<br /><br /> Don’t get me wrong, I got some great toys, it's just that I <i>played </i>with them.<br /><br />
I got a scale model of the Starship Enterprise. I didn't push a button to make it fly: I held it out and whooshed it past my imaginary planets. How did my Enterprise make that “whoosh” warp sound? By me
saying, “Whoosh!”<br /><br /> I had to use my – say it with me – imagination. <br /></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWIR8zKgj-79RwF2dVW7vLXk9EcKP2x3cvZN7-YM78BGQFlf7EWhwkbpxlq7dRyaxWRF5jRljtG69vowUppSrsD4KsQ5gF9TLEkmfGepO3Wxf85SZeFvV8vz75aasySEayikU-5FiYSrpo5nNhfQmeAFFO12b5yJ1hky2Lg8-KYtqE5oMVeHPHHaJ7c0-P/s751/Writing%20synopsis%20Matchbox%20fire%20engine.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="751" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWIR8zKgj-79RwF2dVW7vLXk9EcKP2x3cvZN7-YM78BGQFlf7EWhwkbpxlq7dRyaxWRF5jRljtG69vowUppSrsD4KsQ5gF9TLEkmfGepO3Wxf85SZeFvV8vz75aasySEayikU-5FiYSrpo5nNhfQmeAFFO12b5yJ1hky2Lg8-KYtqE5oMVeHPHHaJ7c0-P/s320/Writing%20synopsis%20Matchbox%20fire%20engine.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>I've had this fire truck for fifty years; it never moved on its own once. If it did, I'd freak out.<br /></i></td></tr></tbody></table><p></p><p><br /><br />
Have you ever played World War II video games? The realism is amazing,
and if you’re not playing with someone, the game console itself moves
the other characters around.<br /><br /> I got a Marx "Battleground”
play set. Plastic tanks, cannon, flags, landing craft – and get
this, landmines, wounded soldiers, and stretchers. I had German, Japanese, British, and
Confederate soldiers from several wars. You
can’t have enemy troops these days, because the soldiers of Politically
Correctness would pitch a fit. You'd probably get in trouble for pitching things, too.<br /><br /> Eventually I learned war is a
terrible thing, even when made necessary by various bad guys, but I
still loved my play set. My parents, you see, taught me the
difference between fantasy and reality. For example, fantasy was seeding
my battleground with firecrackers; reality was them finding out and
sending me to cut a switch.<br /><br /> Fake battles led to my
lifelong love of history, and I've never invaded Russia once, so I think I did okay.</p><p>I had a few remarkably “real” guns,
meaning they were my size. No one imagined using one to rob a bank, or being mistaken for a gang member. My favorite was a
Thompson machine gun, with which I defended our barn many times. No
computer program was needed to produce my attackers – they came from my –
wait for it – imagination.<br /><br /> Another favorite gun was my Kentucky
rifle, a muzzle loading weapon used in the Revolutionary
War. My mother called it her mop handle.</p><p>But with the mop taken
off, it was the perfect size and shape to win our independence. I fought off entire regiments of Englishmen with that
rifle, alongside a company of Minutemen that was very much real to me
and my imagination. I’m sure I looked ridiculous in the field behind our
house, stabbing with the bayonet on my mop handle, getting hit and
falling to the ground, then getting up to defend Lexington and Concord
yet again. What did I care?</p><p> </p><p></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXTtqLRIBY-2hdrb01m31IH5dmvfBqDSNBfOB8VoLQenUFVgUtDZTUyhTVrmBP04VDB12RoWCHhYYZj2nlAVlt3v_sSlM01BA7tKtdOhU1YceKYNUq-G2DDsu1QQx_tdpGqqJ-nNSLBv-H5dV86pb73twCCeV3VA2mS01cLj1JPTP1LNfFZshXn6o7VBZM/s564/Toy%20Thompson.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="318" data-original-width="564" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXTtqLRIBY-2hdrb01m31IH5dmvfBqDSNBfOB8VoLQenUFVgUtDZTUyhTVrmBP04VDB12RoWCHhYYZj2nlAVlt3v_sSlM01BA7tKtdOhU1YceKYNUq-G2DDsu1QQx_tdpGqqJ-nNSLBv-H5dV86pb73twCCeV3VA2mS01cLj1JPTP1LNfFZshXn6o7VBZM/s320/Toy%20Thompson.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>My favorite toy gun. If it was good enough for both Sgt. Rock and Sgt. Fury, it was good enough for me.<br /></i></td></tr></tbody></table><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><br /><br /> Not that fake warfare was my only
interest – not with Frisbees, Matchbox cars, and paper airplanes
available. My single speed Schwinn bicycle doubled as a spaceship and
police car; walkie-talkies were useful for spy missions; and a beach
towel was sufficient to make a superhero costume.<br /><br /> I could go on
and on (as my regular readers know.) Two chairs and a blanket made a
great tent; small sticks and stones could become a city, waiting on an
attack by Godzilla; and oh – what we could do with a cardboard box. The
possibilities were endless.<br /><br /> I can’t help thinking today’s kids are missing something important … and I’m not talking about the switch.</p><p> </p><p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><ul type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Amazon:</span></strong> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO" target="_blank">https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Barnes & Noble:</span></strong> <a href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/%22Mark%20R%20Hunter%22" target="_blank">https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Goodreads:</span></strong> <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter">https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Blog: </span></strong><a href="https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Website: </span></strong><a href="http://www.markrhunter.com/" target="_blank">http://www.markrhunter.com/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Instagram: </span></strong><a href="https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Facebook: </span></strong><a href="https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Linkedin: </span></strong><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/" target="_blank">https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Twitter: </span></strong><a href="https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter" target="_blank">https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Youtube: </span></strong><a href="https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Substack:</span></strong> <a href="https://substack.com/@markrhunter">https://substack.com/@markrhunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Tumblr:</span></strong> <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914">https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914</a></li></ul>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i> </i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>Remember: Books make great bases for your toy soldier battles.<br /></i></p>
<p> </p>Mark R Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07685591390353442531noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467533615728239939.post-61641306008725872392024-02-13T18:00:00.005-05:002024-02-13T18:11:51.426-05:00Valentines Day poem ... well, maybe poem<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibTY0D6DjZub0R5LZ9nvaZk2LUdiczX4xEN_XMl8qDoW7ku7ipkFiPQTNOy372ER5tcV_ND1hOHNyYBd0B6FrPJV75rQq73aQeRrT2BlD1DI1EMVNHCc1YI_CLijf_jEdKg6xy33N23nx08O64TTJb_Z_MAllp06uhsXxbyOmBdwrfyhOJznz2pE0JIdzW/s700/ValentineMeme-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="700" data-original-width="700" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibTY0D6DjZub0R5LZ9nvaZk2LUdiczX4xEN_XMl8qDoW7ku7ipkFiPQTNOy372ER5tcV_ND1hOHNyYBd0B6FrPJV75rQq73aQeRrT2BlD1DI1EMVNHCc1YI_CLijf_jEdKg6xy33N23nx08O64TTJb_Z_MAllp06uhsXxbyOmBdwrfyhOJznz2pE0JIdzW/s320/ValentineMeme-1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="font: 12px Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><div style="font: 12px Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></div><div style="font: 12px Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br aria-hidden="true" /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;">I love you more than chocolate, more than a cold Mountain Dew. (You know who you are.) </span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"><span class="x_Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"></span> </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"> </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;">More than ice cold water on a hot day;</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"><span class="x_Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"></span>more than hot chocolate in January.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"><span class="x_Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"></span>More than all the biggest library’s books.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"><span class="x_Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"></span>More than the a three-book writing contract.</span></div><div style="font: 12px Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br aria-hidden="true" /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"><span class="x_Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"></span>I love you more than the newest, most powerful Mac,</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"><span class="x_Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"></span>more than an all-astronomy channel on satellite,</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"><span class="x_Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"></span>more than a visit from the Prize Patrol,</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"><span class="x_Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"></span>more than another season of Firefly.</span></div><div style="font: 12px Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br aria-hidden="true" /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"><span class="x_Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"></span>My love is taller than Everest,</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"><span class="x_Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"></span>wider than the Great Wall,</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"><span class="x_Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"></span>longer than a congressional funding bill,</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"><span class="x_Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"></span>and deeper than Bill Gates’ pockets.</span></div><div style="font: 12px Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br aria-hidden="true" /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"><span class="x_Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"></span>My love is hotter than Mercury,</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"><span class="x_Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"></span>bigger than Jupiter,</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"><span class="x_Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"></span>brighter than Venus,</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"><span class="x_Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"></span>and longer than Pluto.</span></div><div style="font: 12px Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br aria-hidden="true" /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"><span class="x_Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"></span>My love gets 200 mpg,</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"><span class="x_Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"></span>could heat 5,000 homes,</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"><span class="x_Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"></span>power the Las Vegas strip,</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"><span class="x_Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"></span>and make the Mississippi run backward.</span></div><div style="font: 12px Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br aria-hidden="true" /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"><span class="x_Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"></span>And that’s a lotta love. Enough to conquer</span></div><div style="font: 12px Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br aria-hidden="true" /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"><span class="x_Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"></span>troubles,</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"><span class="x_Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"></span>worries,</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"><span class="x_Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"></span>sickness,</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;">and distance.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"> </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrq6BFCFMxtSUppok_5bi1x8MOuMtYj-xESh8FUAr7oB6CfBAqYVkNfrh_mp7b9CeR3ALHBJmOMproZ6P5AEa_VX4uWJOh9RBH1S6eq2e_Ac70dRFHZq3qi0j_3rP_C2hDKhupXWAQz2Y5pcBMGq64-tQRTaRjI3M3PCaFuhVwtfM4iEdUX_DS3S-mP_az/s320/blogger-image--2073450776.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="320" data-original-width="240" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrq6BFCFMxtSUppok_5bi1x8MOuMtYj-xESh8FUAr7oB6CfBAqYVkNfrh_mp7b9CeR3ALHBJmOMproZ6P5AEa_VX4uWJOh9RBH1S6eq2e_Ac70dRFHZq3qi0j_3rP_C2hDKhupXWAQz2Y5pcBMGq64-tQRTaRjI3M3PCaFuhVwtfM4iEdUX_DS3S-mP_az/s1600/blogger-image--2073450776.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"> </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"></span><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;">It might not be able to crack politics, though. </span></div><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"> </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"> </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDNBp1uhsAAUizbhBBQPhZhxhiBuxURNoqgugc5bTB8PEwkPex6W8Ec6n_EKDkk-xviZCeKCaSA1RHv8q5NMTjnVP0hA3FrgL9ybo7LhW1umfpP8bDmoA6hLtJd47DM5Ch5VfcKtm2mA62ftoLfu5Yj45zImkPoOGlnM1_rec6eYv_IoqB8lK8v8-8SMtX/s700/55-Funny-Valentines-Day-Memes-Everyone-Can-Relate-To_8_GettyImages-1247132979_3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="700" data-original-width="700" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDNBp1uhsAAUizbhBBQPhZhxhiBuxURNoqgugc5bTB8PEwkPex6W8Ec6n_EKDkk-xviZCeKCaSA1RHv8q5NMTjnVP0hA3FrgL9ybo7LhW1umfpP8bDmoA6hLtJd47DM5Ch5VfcKtm2mA62ftoLfu5Yj45zImkPoOGlnM1_rec6eYv_IoqB8lK8v8-8SMtX/s320/55-Funny-Valentines-Day-Memes-Everyone-Can-Relate-To_8_GettyImages-1247132979_3.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /> </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"> </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"> <i>Remember, love is one thing that, when you give it away, comes back double.</i></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"><i> </i></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"><i> </i></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlJeekj1sXpOWe2xrO-1qkG693Xl5Tty35pDw5RzBuV8TfRQtCFhEpB6i_Z-qDtYsFXZoshiYGf6Rk4ND1u20FuacYvAl7DYp-ifEEFlV4achuFJs9nT0JJGzrkVhyUJVGvKCmbFQdBw0DcFAvCm3124bPvrnaB5Ymzjq_YUkFLdP4HxULKY6elLgxLuXV/s320/Valentine%20Coming%20Attractions.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="320" data-original-width="320" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlJeekj1sXpOWe2xrO-1qkG693Xl5Tty35pDw5RzBuV8TfRQtCFhEpB6i_Z-qDtYsFXZoshiYGf6Rk4ND1u20FuacYvAl7DYp-ifEEFlV4achuFJs9nT0JJGzrkVhyUJVGvKCmbFQdBw0DcFAvCm3124bPvrnaB5Ymzjq_YUkFLdP4HxULKY6elLgxLuXV/s1600/Valentine%20Coming%20Attractions.png" width="320" /></a></div></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; font: 12px Helvetica;"></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</div><p></p>Mark R Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07685591390353442531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467533615728239939.post-38446106075054749612024-02-08T16:30:00.001-05:002024-02-08T16:30:00.138-05:00Book Selling Report For 2023, or: Why I Cry<p> An interesting thing about the publishing industry is that it takes great pains to make sure an author <i>never </i>knows how many books he's selling.</p><p>Meanwhile, at certain points in the process, that's the only thing authors want to know.</p><p>Actually, the traditional publishers I've worked with have been good about giving me sales reports--every three or six months. But it can be hard to read their reports, in the same way it can be hard for the janitor at a college to understand a blackboard full of physics equations. Well, maybe they can sometimes. A better example would be someone giving me the full schematics on how to wire an electrical system into a house, then expecting me to actually do it.</p><p>"Gee, he seemed smart enough to manage. I'm gonna miss him."</p><p>When it comes to places that sell your work, such as Barnes and Noble or the elephant in the room, Amazon ... good luck. Most of my books are independently published, so there is no publisher trying to keep track of my sales. You'd think the bookselling websites would do that, but ... well, you'd think more people would read, too.</p><p></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgioK8jpGbQE8W578Ubl5kSybwPqIlpWYf13gNlCNBIHv4F6sofV74EvSoSq-R1H5PWbTQVH9sR-bbY6Mj-J9Y8DITD5C6lONnAUfyIcXamEth0KmCYvERQen1oTneIf_xEdfhCwayU5FvkDa0ofPBW21t5TTvH1-wV-umhMr3V4KUHXBfQfWdHOUJICMiN/s1280/21interview3.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgioK8jpGbQE8W578Ubl5kSybwPqIlpWYf13gNlCNBIHv4F6sofV74EvSoSq-R1H5PWbTQVH9sR-bbY6Mj-J9Y8DITD5C6lONnAUfyIcXamEth0KmCYvERQen1oTneIf_xEdfhCwayU5FvkDa0ofPBW21t5TTvH1-wV-umhMr3V4KUHXBfQfWdHOUJICMiN/s320/21interview3.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Maybe I could sell them like donuts. "I'll take a white one, and a blue one, and ...."</i><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /> <p></p><p>I'm telling you all this to explain why, while I've come up with an estimate of my 2023 sales, I have no idea how accurate it is.</p><p>Fairly accurate. I think. Within reason. <br /></p><p>So, in 2023 we sold 624 books. I think. 482 were e-books, and 142 were print copies. (In 2022 I actually sold a hardcover copy of <i>Images of America: Albion and Noble County</i>. I mention that because, before then, I didn't think you even could buy hardcover copies of our books.)</p><p>Our 2022 total was 539 sales, so we're up by 85 books. It's a good number, considering we haven't done an author appearance since the beginning of Covid. Now that I've actually had Covid, I'm not thrilled about going out into crowds in the immediate future, either.</p><p>Our best sellers:</p><p>151 copies of <i>Coming Attractions.</i></p><p>145 copies of <i>Hoosier Hysterical: How the West Became the Midwest Without Moving At All.</i></p><p>104 copies of <i>Storm Chaser</i> (which was re<i>-</i>released with some fanfare early in the year).</p><p>51 copies of <i>The No-Campfire Girls.</i></p><p>The other books were, shall we say, not great sellers. All sold at least a few copies except for <i>Slightly Off the Mark: The Unpublished Columns</i>, which has the disadvantages of having been out for several years, and of being a humor book by someone who isn't already famous.</p><p> </p><p></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheMVRVOQ41quSfTGwZw4RfPs3bcSFmoQ3BXjWYJGtguvm4sSoU0eJ-YvleINqgo7MeEU6ZBdtpq47ll8fEZT5Cer05R-XB9Aa2YrWczIp7op5ogVRoZxalOun11IoeKwBLnayjUBael8TVmwN25rFqlIvZIsxszu3NfcQijOXPsktQhwy9zhuTzhQNBOPw/s1901/Bae%20RIP%20books.jpeg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1324" data-original-width="1901" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheMVRVOQ41quSfTGwZw4RfPs3bcSFmoQ3BXjWYJGtguvm4sSoU0eJ-YvleINqgo7MeEU6ZBdtpq47ll8fEZT5Cer05R-XB9Aa2YrWczIp7op5ogVRoZxalOun11IoeKwBLnayjUBael8TVmwN25rFqlIvZIsxszu3NfcQijOXPsktQhwy9zhuTzhQNBOPw/s320/Bae%20RIP%20books.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>"Dude, these are stale."<br /></i></td></tr></tbody></table> <p></p><p> </p><p>Still, good money, right?</p><p>Well ...</p><p>I also experimented with advertising all last year. Online ads did indeed increase our sales, but they didn't lead to a profit. For every dollar in gross sales we made, I spent about two dollars. ("I" because Emily wasn't involved in that pile of commercial misfortune.)</p><p>But wait--there's more. Depending on how they were published and where they were bought, our profit was between 60% and 6% of each book sold. The 60% ones were the books Emily slaved and sweated over.</p><p>Do that math, and for every dollar we made, I spent five dollars in advertising and promotion.</p><p>This is fine for a hobby. I could collect toy trains, or fix up antiques, or bend my elbow at the bar every night, for a similar amount of money. It is not, however, what anyone would call a sustainable business model. It's more like trying to sell your product by screaming out the brand name as you leap off a cliff.</p><p></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT3ubjyFPVW73_dIifomnYPJ8n7yIOiA7WvL4A85RcQ3phaEQjbWrbptZw9yl7iuMnIaHK9x5jkoDlXdRJL9zRt9fWykk3heQrs9i2KiFSyVbsE_TLZKg0uqoPT7-qaj6f-qoodPpsgTNAQaPDtEYoZ6u-WquydxkXU93Wzub-awVhHtOtpSGWcaywbQt7/s400/NaNoWriMo%20Mark%20writing%20in%20car.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="400" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT3ubjyFPVW73_dIifomnYPJ8n7yIOiA7WvL4A85RcQ3phaEQjbWrbptZw9yl7iuMnIaHK9x5jkoDlXdRJL9zRt9fWykk3heQrs9i2KiFSyVbsE_TLZKg0uqoPT7-qaj6f-qoodPpsgTNAQaPDtEYoZ6u-WquydxkXU93Wzub-awVhHtOtpSGWcaywbQt7/s320/NaNoWriMo%20Mark%20writing%20in%20car.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>"Losing the house is no big deal, I can write in the car."<br /></i></td></tr></tbody></table><br /> <p></p><p>So, I have two goals when it comes to selling books in 2024. 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</p><ul type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Amazon:</span></strong> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO" target="_blank">https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Barnes & Noble:</span></strong> <a href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/%22Mark%20R%20Hunter%22" target="_blank">https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Goodreads:</span></strong> <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter">https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Blog: </span></strong><a href="https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Website: </span></strong><a href="http://www.markrhunter.com/" target="_blank">http://www.markrhunter.com/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Instagram: </span></strong><a href="https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Facebook: </span></strong><a href="https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Linkedin: </span></strong><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/" target="_blank">https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Twitter: </span></strong><a href="https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter" target="_blank">https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Youtube: </span></strong><a href="https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Substack:</span></strong> <a href="https://substack.com/@markrhunter">https://substack.com/@markrhunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Tumblr:</span></strong> <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914">https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914</a></li></ul>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i> </i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>Remember: Every time you buy a book, an author can buy a cup of coffee to keep him awake while he's writing his next book.</i> </p><p class="MsoNormal"></p>
<p> </p><p><br /></p>Mark R Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07685591390353442531noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467533615728239939.post-59013211560687523512024-02-02T20:32:00.000-05:002024-02-02T20:32:24.284-05:00Groundhog For President<p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">The Groundhog came out, saw the Iowa Caucus, and
is predicting ten more months of misery.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<br />
</p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLNZCPXf3WvO9cxVk1_DDv0ZS_S1fWLOnWnCtQFLY3OCODFa_2Vrf1Dbb5SS5Lq8bygOgVuKpDbB1WVFHrG4-XJd0rI13owBnoJ0mdfGCIk48x1fW3nUDMISIjNPSu8SvsiPlA1A853vnL/s1600/groundhog-day.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLNZCPXf3WvO9cxVk1_DDv0ZS_S1fWLOnWnCtQFLY3OCODFa_2Vrf1Dbb5SS5Lq8bygOgVuKpDbB1WVFHrG4-XJd0rI13owBnoJ0mdfGCIk48x1fW3nUDMISIjNPSu8SvsiPlA1A853vnL/s400/groundhog-day.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>"Drive us off a cliff before Super Tuesday."</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<p> </p><p>Actually, the little rodent in Pennsylvania is predicting an early spring this year. I appreciate the thought, and certainly I'll vote for him, but I beg to differ. Here in Indiana, with the exception of one polar vortex that vortexed its way across most of the country, our winter has been pretty mild.</p><p>You don't get that here without paying for it.</p><p>So my official prediction is cold and snow starting toward the end of February, and lasting through March into April. During March Madness basketball season, some of the snow might be replaced by ice. Otherwise, I stand by my apocalyptic vision.</p><p>I'm just the messenger. <br /> <br /></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxb6IdczmjW1JGzuZaPQKIiuGi6upVd5Q9f1BTh0-clJMLhJqEMNfM9sdaB2Qqe7KCFFuEDVa1tvKLOSV0Lj7RfwdmlGKNv4LTEoPAraBvH105knMsK4TyX-jaaRmnrMVRM82i-bCFtNl-PseHR_4AykAPuVKpd81sUbpLS3io4zk6bKFIBbDPVZTvcTDJ/s3664/101_0072.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2748" data-original-width="3664" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxb6IdczmjW1JGzuZaPQKIiuGi6upVd5Q9f1BTh0-clJMLhJqEMNfM9sdaB2Qqe7KCFFuEDVa1tvKLOSV0Lj7RfwdmlGKNv4LTEoPAraBvH105knMsK4TyX-jaaRmnrMVRM82i-bCFtNl-PseHR_4AykAPuVKpd81sUbpLS3io4zk6bKFIBbDPVZTvcTDJ/s320/101_0072.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>I've only shoveled once this year--I don't get that lucky.<br /></i></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p> </p><p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 6"/>
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</p><ul type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Amazon:</span></strong> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO" target="_blank">https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Barnes & Noble:</span></strong> <a href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/%22Mark%20R%20Hunter%22" target="_blank">https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Goodreads:</span></strong> <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter">https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Blog: </span></strong><a href="https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Website: </span></strong><a href="http://www.markrhunter.com/" target="_blank">http://www.markrhunter.com/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Instagram: </span></strong><a href="https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Facebook: </span></strong><a href="https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Linkedin: </span></strong><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/" target="_blank">https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Twitter: </span></strong><a href="https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter" target="_blank">https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Youtube: </span></strong><a href="https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Substack:</span></strong> <a href="https://substack.com/@markrhunter">https://substack.com/@markrhunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Tumblr:</span></strong> <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914">https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914</a></li></ul>
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<p class="MsoNormal"><i>Remember: Calling in sick and reading for three months straight is totally worth it, right up until the moment your utilities get shut off.</i> </p>
<p> </p><p> </p>Mark R Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07685591390353442531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467533615728239939.post-45308943138744758432024-01-25T18:18:00.000-05:002024-01-25T18:18:39.553-05:00Song Parody: Stop the Snow<p>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><i>I posted this a few years ago, but it's about winter generally, which makes it an evergreen. So to speak. The funny thing is, within days of me deciding to rerun it, the snow started melting away. I should write a song about freezing rain, or fog. <br /></i></span></p><p><i>I hate winter. Well, only if I have to go out in it, or pay for heating the house, or if it’s winter. Otherwise I don’t mind.</i> <i>Anyway, parody songs are only good if you’re familiar with the original, which in this case is “Let It Go” from </i>Frozen<i>.
If you have kids of a certain age, you’ve not only heard it, you’re
sick of it. (I’m not–but my kids are all grown up, and I’ve only seen
the movie once.) If you haven’t heard it, here’s the song:</i></p>
<p><i><a _fcksavedurl="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnN6glKaWdE" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnN6glKaWdE">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnN6glKaWdE</a></i></p>
<p><i>Or see the original lyrics here:</i><i> </i></p>
<p><a href="https://genius.com/Idina-menzel-let-it-go-lyrics">https://genius.com/Idina-menzel-let-it-go-lyrics</a></p><p> </p><p></p><p><i>I know what you’re thinking: “Why, Mark? Why?” Good question—I don’t even find it easy.</i><i> But I present you with: “Stop the Snow</i>”.</p><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"> </span><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi84ZouC6Ke1vTypCUqOE12IKNBcYZJwBhOUVUDJhIyAZrwoSxNDSSAbTGw51WGS7nzWbX0QyjyTuiAODvOb958_PzVAuC-FdTtCl3c_31DK9Qr0D3JJK6JZfYMByh70ryNN3PK8hOzowND/s1600/Snowman.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi84ZouC6Ke1vTypCUqOE12IKNBcYZJwBhOUVUDJhIyAZrwoSxNDSSAbTGw51WGS7nzWbX0QyjyTuiAODvOb958_PzVAuC-FdTtCl3c_31DK9Qr0D3JJK6JZfYMByh70ryNN3PK8hOzowND/s320/Snowman.jpg" width="252" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;">But ... I'm
so cool!</span></i></td></tr></tbody></table></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"> <br /></span></div>
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The snow’s piled high almost to my thigh<br />It’s so cold I want to scream<br />No sign of spring salvation<br />I’m stuck in a snow globe dream<br /><br />The wind howls through windows, bringing swirling snow inside<br />Couldn’t keep it out, plastic sheets I tried<br /><br />Let the dog in, his frozen pee<br />Is an icicle I never want to see<br />My hands can’t feel—this weather blows<br />Thanks to the snow<br /><br />Stop the snow, stop the snow<br />Can’t get my car unstuck<br />If I had enough dough<br />I’d move away from all this yuck<br />I know just what the forecasts say<br />Get your storm rage on<br />I’m stuck in my drive anyway.<br /><br />It’s funny how this temperature<br />makes everything seem blue<br />And if you don’t see the misery<br />there’s something wrong with you.<br /><br />It’s time to go and break the ice<br />To start the car, oh please play nice<br />No lights, no juice, not to be rude<br />I’m screwed</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_BdmHOK6IacBbQ3-fwVm_EvHocwUHAxIUmwo23_-7I7cubZizyYDdQeHCx0wTS9rmHkx5fh-FOccjfRk8J6dhTXbK9dTXnrxwikUMFt15nhV8CO1voLF-8R-N4Qyiq0LQZDOBwLjbsXBS1-9JNod5yZ4t8DqdWr257csrtHB5PvjfS-GBieNhyphenhyphenjDY_Rvx/s1575/snowstorm%20car.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1575" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_BdmHOK6IacBbQ3-fwVm_EvHocwUHAxIUmwo23_-7I7cubZizyYDdQeHCx0wTS9rmHkx5fh-FOccjfRk8J6dhTXbK9dTXnrxwikUMFt15nhV8CO1voLF-8R-N4Qyiq0LQZDOBwLjbsXBS1-9JNod5yZ4t8DqdWr257csrtHB5PvjfS-GBieNhyphenhyphenjDY_Rvx/s320/snowstorm%20car.jpeg" width="312" /></a></div><br /><p>Stop the snow, stop the snow<br />Just one day when it’s warm and dry<br />Car won’t go in the snow<br />Ice falls down from tears I cry<br />Here I push in four foot drifts<br />Till my hands freeze on …<br /><br />A patch of ice takes me to the ground<br />Underneath the snow it’s all cold, dead and brown<br />And one thought penetrates my frozen brain<br />Summer’s not so bad—I don’t mind the rain<br /><br />Stop the snow, stop the snow<br />My car’s buried in five foot drifts<br />I can’t feel, my own toes<br />I’ll never make it to my shift<br />My hands are blue and my face is white<br />I could use a lift<br />But the snow plow buries and passes by.<br /><br /></p><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6sLi9zQnvOzh0LPCmIf8SHS0od0JPRzGqnYrhgSAEm0_7WFf9y7Cykz-i7S7Z82fSgb2eBp1I4n0Mope7W8YY933wmVlMNTu7XmXpw45R1kUxxcfqPmdp4oZd0nZWOfRVUBijHhyphenhyphenmT_Pn/s1600/Snow+Plow.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6sLi9zQnvOzh0LPCmIf8SHS0od0JPRzGqnYrhgSAEm0_7WFf9y7Cykz-i7S7Z82fSgb2eBp1I4n0Mope7W8YY933wmVlMNTu7XmXpw45R1kUxxcfqPmdp4oZd0nZWOfRVUBijHhyphenhyphenmT_Pn/s320/Snow+Plow.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 3"/>
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<ul type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Amazon:</span></strong> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO" target="_blank">https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Barnes & Noble:</span></strong>
<a href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/%22Mark%20R%20Hunter%22" target="_blank">https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Goodreads:</span></strong>
<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter">https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Blog: </span></strong><a href="https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Website: </span></strong><a href="http://www.markrhunter.com/" target="_blank">http://www.markrhunter.com/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Instagram: </span></strong><a href="https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Facebook: </span></strong><a href="https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Linkedin: </span></strong><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/" target="_blank">https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Twitter: </span></strong><a href="https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter" target="_blank">https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Youtube: </span></strong><a href="https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Substack:</span></strong>
<a href="https://substack.com/@markrhunter">https://substack.com/@markrhunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Tumblr:</span></strong> <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914">https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914</a></li></ul>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt;"><i> </i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt;"><i>Remember: Music makes the heart grow fonder, but reading builds the brain.</i> <br /></div>
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Mark R Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07685591390353442531noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467533615728239939.post-60008537227601575602024-01-19T17:00:00.000-05:002024-01-19T17:00:13.107-05:00Buy Your Lady a Book For Valentine's Day. Or buy her nothing ... and suffer<p><i>My annual Valentine's Day book promotion also serves as a reminder to all you men that, yes, Valentine's Day comes every year.</i><br />
<i> </i><br />
<br />
</p><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; text-indent: 0.5in;">
As we approach the big Sports Bowl weekend, many men have trouble thinking of other things. If they thought really hard,
they might remember Valentine's Day is coming up, and plan ahead for a
special dinner, flowers, flowery dinners, and/or chocolate flowers at
dinner.</div>
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</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<br />
But probably not.</div>
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<br />
Because they're men. So, for those of you
totally ignorant of the fact that Valentine’s Day is an annual affair, the humor anthology <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My Funny </i>Valentine
is available in print and e-book. (I have a few copies on hand.)
It's an anthology of humor pieces ... about Valentine's Day. It was
really easy to title. (Note: One of the humor pieces is mine, but I
would have come up with a lamer title.)</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; text-indent: 0.5in;"> </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; text-indent: 0.5in;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv1oGEoqLPobXvRQUH4O8NOH_CtfY7yjrBMIYAI4f7Kk5m183WjB3bW7n1zpK8gNPzhPrFBz98saFPY16TN9cd4p7Jy6zhSIoUlsaaaOXbIoLeDjmP-XmVntJkrH1nb2Mon5Gj9z03mab5/s1600/My+funny+valentine.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv1oGEoqLPobXvRQUH4O8NOH_CtfY7yjrBMIYAI4f7Kk5m183WjB3bW7n1zpK8gNPzhPrFBz98saFPY16TN9cd4p7Jy6zhSIoUlsaaaOXbIoLeDjmP-XmVntJkrH1nb2Mon5Gj9z03mab5/s320/My+funny+valentine.jpg" width="215" /></a></div> </div><br /><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; text-indent: 0.5in;">
Maybe your loved one is allergic to flowers <i>and</i> chocolate, and
how sad is that? Buy her a book. Women who read love books. So do men
who read, but it's not so hard to shop for men ... or, to put it another
way, women are better shoppers.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
If your loved one has an e-reader,
the Kindle version is just $2.99. If they don’t have one, don’t be cheap—buy
them one. They'll know if you're cheap. Or, you could get the print
version for $9.95 at Amazon:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/My-Funny-Valentine-MyFunnyBooks-Writers-ebook/dp/B006JROL8K">http://www.amazon.com/My-Funny-Valentine-MyFunnyBooks-Writers-ebook/dp/B006JROL8K</a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"> </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigJdpWKiJkmbcrjKZErhKqNruCKtIldWxmHOh91APR3IuY8DlHTHu1u61sVXrV-Ly3LKT0lztc_uKSL6s7eqZ6-_ujQLHHjiS_VokI61-YgrcwzPeZxxM-ewwYO14gcfqXGseeMVMaTv9uy2fzdMk6EVzrKRxgVpuz4dNxtuqM0ac48spuK3bckLSYQQL8/s320/My%20Funny%20Valentine%20back%20cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="320" data-original-width="200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigJdpWKiJkmbcrjKZErhKqNruCKtIldWxmHOh91APR3IuY8DlHTHu1u61sVXrV-Ly3LKT0lztc_uKSL6s7eqZ6-_ujQLHHjiS_VokI61-YgrcwzPeZxxM-ewwYO14gcfqXGseeMVMaTv9uy2fzdMk6EVzrKRxgVpuz4dNxtuqM0ac48spuK3bckLSYQQL8/s1600/My%20Funny%20Valentine%20back%20cover.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><br /> </div>
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I’d advise against getting them the
book for the second or third year in a row, though—they’d certainly notice. But
I suppose in that case you could go over to <a href="http://www.markrhunter.com/">http://www.markrhunter.com/</a> (or Amazon, or
Barnes and Noble, etc.) and grab one of my romantic comedies for the loving one
you love.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"> </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi-hdsuoAhC5v8d6CpVKvGkBkzHGELVbFQbDuqeFdViB32RyvwpXhLqzXFHwiXxH4sWP2lcUJqIQp2yX_vmpLfRqLcvDyJGAVjpuDZQDFyQ9_LUagWikw_7ttbOl7a-YzJ-gsNC4zher2BUD-pz8QxPRJ97tT7EmG_2QC8kzu_xtMtKBGVZ3qpLXY6F-z8/s1080/Coming%20Attractions%20Valentine.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi-hdsuoAhC5v8d6CpVKvGkBkzHGELVbFQbDuqeFdViB32RyvwpXhLqzXFHwiXxH4sWP2lcUJqIQp2yX_vmpLfRqLcvDyJGAVjpuDZQDFyQ9_LUagWikw_7ttbOl7a-YzJ-gsNC4zher2BUD-pz8QxPRJ97tT7EmG_2QC8kzu_xtMtKBGVZ3qpLXY6F-z8/s320/Coming%20Attractions%20Valentine.png" width="320" /></a></div><br /> </div>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
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<a href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/%22Mark%20R%20Hunter%22" target="_blank">https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Goodreads:</span></strong>
<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter">https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Blog: </span></strong><a href="https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Website: </span></strong><a href="http://www.markrhunter.com/" target="_blank">http://www.markrhunter.com/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Instagram: </span></strong><a href="https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Facebook: </span></strong><a href="https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Linkedin: </span></strong><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/" target="_blank">https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Twitter: </span></strong><a href="https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter" target="_blank">https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Youtube: </span></strong><a href="https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Substack:</span></strong>
<a href="https://substack.com/@markrhunter">https://substack.com/@markrhunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Tumblr:</span></strong> <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914">https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914</a></li></ul>
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Mark R Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07685591390353442531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467533615728239939.post-40908841181852884992024-01-11T16:30:00.001-05:002024-01-11T16:30:00.141-05:00Covid Keeps Quarantines Coming<p> <span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"> I'm not even sure how to start when it comes to Covid. As a writer I'm a professional smart-ass, but with this I got my ass kicked, and didn't feel too smart about it.</span></p><p><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">Illness or injury traditionally accompany our vacations: Last December Emily and I came down with the flu when we were supposed to visit her family and friends in Missouri. This year we decided to head down on a Thursday.</span></p><p><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">On Wednesday we started to feel a little ... off. By Thursday morning we had to call it--we couldn't risk giving her father whatever bug was now traveling with us. It wasn't until Friday night that we began to suspect the modern medical boogieman, Covid. We missed the trip, we missed Saturday's Holiday Pops concert, and I felt so bad I <i>couldn't even write</i>. By the time it was done I had to contact my editor at History Press to push back our deadline for the <i>Haunted Noble County</i> book, because I'd planned to use half of my vacation to work on it.</span></p><p><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">The only question left: Could I turn it into a funny blog?</span></p><p><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYleJhi89jTX_pr_HZf5MAP7wzPf1rb8M-svvDw2dNxLALFAGqhmizCq3hkfX2xFmLNOektpNkEvZl1Q34zorQTbjTykm89kkhI84M878_xF4j_H0puUozmHEZAwwHPO2_4BNKpaNxxxhOkVdCFc8CAD2T1fiQJBN_cEBE8MjaWEqC4iL57Aszk7D0YqOp/s2046/Covid%20Mark.jpeg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2046" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYleJhi89jTX_pr_HZf5MAP7wzPf1rb8M-svvDw2dNxLALFAGqhmizCq3hkfX2xFmLNOektpNkEvZl1Q34zorQTbjTykm89kkhI84M878_xF4j_H0puUozmHEZAwwHPO2_4BNKpaNxxxhOkVdCFc8CAD2T1fiQJBN_cEBE8MjaWEqC4iL57Aszk7D0YqOp/s320/Covid%20Mark.jpeg" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>It doesn't LOOK like 102 degrees.<br /></i></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /> No. No, I could not.</span><p></p><p><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">The only thing we did was marathon the TV show <i>The Expanse</i>, and unsuccessfully try to listen to <i>Good Omens</i> on audiobook. (We kept having to go back when one or another of us fell asleep.)</span></p><p><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">You know, watching TV and reading books wouldn't be such a bad vacation. The problem is that for the first couple of days we were unable to enjoy anything, and in fact we were <i>too sick to sleep</i>. You heard that right. Over that first weekend I, who can't function on less than eight hours of sleep, stayed awake for twenty-fours straight. Even Nyquil wouldn't put me out.</span></p><p><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">Then, for a week after that, we were too sick to stay awake. That was the period during which we kept having to go back and decide what we remembered last from the audiobook.</span></p><p><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">"It was Agnes Nutter and the book, wasn't it?"</span></p><p><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">"No, it was Adam and the Them meeting the dog."</span></p><p><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">(We were both wrong: It was Crowley terrifying his house plants.)</span></p><p><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5t-uc6aOKZhOveDYrFnoIsxIniVQ4nZwUfa9S31-LjhySno50Qov0W1sI-CusRTdoRSE_QIkJwADNoOYi2li0S5sOMUPWk-6itVzwNZCkxQd3rZJWcj8w15oAZj20HWQKhoC9Ctz69cD36cON0M8JyaeAedeGmkW6nhajDcjDFEEuMSrO0oxcIiCHJMto/s2048/Covid%20Emily.jpeg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5t-uc6aOKZhOveDYrFnoIsxIniVQ4nZwUfa9S31-LjhySno50Qov0W1sI-CusRTdoRSE_QIkJwADNoOYi2li0S5sOMUPWk-6itVzwNZCkxQd3rZJWcj8w15oAZj20HWQKhoC9Ctz69cD36cON0M8JyaeAedeGmkW6nhajDcjDFEEuMSrO0oxcIiCHJMto/s320/Covid%20Emily.jpeg" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>I took this photo of Emily at the same time the one above of me was taken. She's in there, I swear.</i><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /> </span><p></p><p><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"> Part of it--let's face it--is that I'm no spring chicken pox. When I was in my early 20's I once rode the back step of a fire engine to a mobile home fire on the edge of town--while running a fever.</span></p><p><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsNRn6bXwELtNO4NKRrQHn6oxSvOo5V7oNEHOEyCkcbvwwtnMdWsVkxC_EhAEYp5MOn9C4OGMNanF5VTXANf_zvGUdNzbNM_v-4yiEwAz1iV-nEAvH6861mOIJOLvf4CMtlRYH1qPr16q5pExjYtKTrhKLKDmC_DM4vt7cNzkq17D-pWWS5KmMynqzm9__/s1125/Fire%20Truck.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="525" data-original-width="1125" height="149" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsNRn6bXwELtNO4NKRrQHn6oxSvOo5V7oNEHOEyCkcbvwwtnMdWsVkxC_EhAEYp5MOn9C4OGMNanF5VTXANf_zvGUdNzbNM_v-4yiEwAz1iV-nEAvH6861mOIJOLvf4CMtlRYH1qPr16q5pExjYtKTrhKLKDmC_DM4vt7cNzkq17D-pWWS5KmMynqzm9__/s320/Fire%20Truck.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>This truck, specifically. What an awesome truck.<br /></i></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /> A couple of years later I rode a different engine to Kendallville, to a tire fire so big it could have been seen from the International Space Station, if there'd been one at the time. I was coughing up junk that looked like it belonged in an alien invasion horror movie, despite never getting into the smoke. Yet there I went, for twelve hours. Our Chief later ordered me to go home and go the hell to bed.</span><p></p><p><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"> No more.</span></p><p><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"> It's not just that Covid is bad. My normal temperature runs around 97.6, and by the time it hit 100 not only could I not go to a fire, I couldn't pick up the TV remote. (Thus the marathon of one show.) It reached 102 at one point. My skin kept trying to crawl away to somewhere cooler, or so it felt.</span></p><p>Emily was running about a day behind me, so I had the pain of knowing what she was about to go through. She's still got a terrible cough weeks later, while mine is just awful. We were like the grandparents in <i>Charlie and the Chocolate Factory</i>, just laying there in a lump. Christmas preparations? Hah! We'd bought a new, pre-lit tree, but we never even got a chance to fluff out the branches, let alone decorate it.<br /><br /></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJCv0BB_mor9oRfEvcXJJQkvtc09hpuc4hSbrK6Uy9GRpqa9VhbDHGW99cwuCIpJ3cGn__D6s4-UurOkqaDrNwCbY5yHvi5dST8Vx7m6DtQ-oldBlMutHQRXxV6xTXfLvdbwv9_YtgmG8HfV1HMkNxt4Rf5KXqAD1XQeRe_4gDpKpHQWQXkqkI2lA_DlK0/s2048/Covid%20tree.jpeg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJCv0BB_mor9oRfEvcXJJQkvtc09hpuc4hSbrK6Uy9GRpqa9VhbDHGW99cwuCIpJ3cGn__D6s4-UurOkqaDrNwCbY5yHvi5dST8Vx7m6DtQ-oldBlMutHQRXxV6xTXfLvdbwv9_YtgmG8HfV1HMkNxt4Rf5KXqAD1XQeRe_4gDpKpHQWQXkqkI2lA_DlK0/s320/Covid%20tree.jpeg" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>I kinda like it like this, though. Yes, it's black.<br /></i></td></tr></tbody></table><p><br />I was so sick--brace yourself for this--I lost my appetite.</p><p>I can count on one hand the number of times I've completely lost my appetite, and I was in the hospital for most of those. I dropped six pounds. This is not a recommended diet.</p><p>The moral of this story is, of course, don't get Covid. We didn't mind at all being quarantined, at least not until the chocolate ran out. (Everything tasted salty or metallic, except chocolate.) Other people in this area passed away from it, so we count ourselves lucky now that we're feeling 50% better.</p><p>Yeah, I'm exhausted all the time, but I work nights--I was already halfway there, anyway.</p><p><br /></p><p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><ul type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Amazon:</span></b> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO" target="_blank">https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Barnes & Noble:</span></b>
<a href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/%22Mark%20R%20Hunter%22" target="_blank">https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Goodreads:</span></b>
<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter">https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Blog: </span></b><a href="https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Website: </span></b><a href="http://www.markrhunter.com/" target="_blank">http://www.markrhunter.com/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Instagram: </span></b><a href="https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Facebook: </span></b><a href="https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Linkedin: </span></b><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/" target="_blank">https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Twitter: </span></b><a href="https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter" target="_blank">https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Youtube: </span></b><a href="https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Substack:</span></b>
<a href="https://substack.com/@markrhunter">https://substack.com/@markrhunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Tumblr:</span></b> <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914">https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914</a></li></ul>
<p> </p>
<p><i>Remember, books aren't effective as masks, but they're great for quarantine.</i></p><p><i></i></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCYcYg8ZCzEldQqYuRYhTMvcUJk3VFOq21Sjqxud7EAwWVVByLVOwCZCnHBrDaQkLn588h2vmEkUsUYK4h6Ca9OqI1sgl_xtH3_N0eN20bpMfxJwl3Q4tAc5ISVF6zMuo4qmjfVTrdi6u9VcGcDMCawh-oXWomZbuiWasuLNSauTsMhCFE3dT9k6WrkzMn/s1080/Hoosier%20Hysterical%20and%20Coming%20Attractions%20wallpaper.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1080" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCYcYg8ZCzEldQqYuRYhTMvcUJk3VFOq21Sjqxud7EAwWVVByLVOwCZCnHBrDaQkLn588h2vmEkUsUYK4h6Ca9OqI1sgl_xtH3_N0eN20bpMfxJwl3Q4tAc5ISVF6zMuo4qmjfVTrdi6u9VcGcDMCawh-oXWomZbuiWasuLNSauTsMhCFE3dT9k6WrkzMn/s320/Hoosier%20Hysterical%20and%20Coming%20Attractions%20wallpaper.jpg" width="320" /></a></i></div><i><br /> </i> <p></p>
Mark R Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07685591390353442531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467533615728239939.post-31965035239452440332024-01-06T13:30:00.001-05:002024-01-06T13:30:00.137-05:00Santa After Christmas<p><span style="font-family: times new roman,serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>(Bonus points if you can identify all the TV shows referenced.)</i> <br /></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times new roman,serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times new roman,serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> Santa Claus had a ritual, one he followed every year after delivering gifts for all little boys and girls. It involved
whiskey.</span></span></span></p><div><span style="font-family: times new roman,serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">
His main elf assistant, Evergreen Iciclepears, poured him a shot, and started to walk away with the bottle. Santa snapped his
fingers. “Keep ‘em coming, Iciclepears. I just delivered 1.4 billion
presents.”</span></span></span></div><div><br /></div><div><span style="font-family: times new roman,serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">
(Evergreen Iciclepears’ real name was Charles Anders. But
Mrs. Claus, who was always sound asleep when Santa got home from his big
business trip, had renamed all the elves to make them sound more
festive. The Elves accepted this because North Pole work paid well and
had great benefits – including dental – but privately they called Mrs. Claus Cranberry Cuddlecane.)</span></span></span></div><div><br /></div><div><span style="font-family: times new roman,serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">
Alcohol was not all of Santa’s routine, of course. After taking care of the reindeer he plodded to his big easy chair,
pulled off his boots, and stuck his aching tootsies in a tub of hot
Epsom salt water.</span></span></span></div><div><br /></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: times new roman,serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Then he took three ibuprofen, which always waited
for him on a tray full of other items, brought by Nutmeg Sugarlights and
placed right by his chair. (Her real name was Josephine Hendrickson.)</span></span></span></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: times new roman,serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span></span></span></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: times new roman,serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLnRXvCWdjpyU5CQzEaozdkqC122bsjo4mTWKjjyVaNl5eq-tlW0EsM6i7HDGJ6zZExsThtZV_VAf3u3DFrc7Ur1e8MzHhun3MBtf7nrHww1HSlNsG1XlhQh6JxIGHlIRnxQirqh_D1Y7F-DvQ1IiyUjNeLiI2mLHBgXopRaAXyCHzqHfEbKf4UaJwAyDk/s512/One_Santa_with_whiskey_3854408792.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="512" data-original-width="512" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLnRXvCWdjpyU5CQzEaozdkqC122bsjo4mTWKjjyVaNl5eq-tlW0EsM6i7HDGJ6zZExsThtZV_VAf3u3DFrc7Ur1e8MzHhun3MBtf7nrHww1HSlNsG1XlhQh6JxIGHlIRnxQirqh_D1Y7F-DvQ1IiyUjNeLiI2mLHBgXopRaAXyCHzqHfEbKf4UaJwAyDk/s320/One_Santa_with_whiskey_3854408792.png" width="320" /></a></div><br /> </span></span></span></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: times new roman,serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span></span></span><br /></div><div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: times new roman,serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">The
other stuff including soothing eye drops, because the screaming wind dried his eyes out. Then
there was a cough drop, for similar reasons, and some antacid, because
in the space of twenty-four hours he’d eaten approximately 423,000,000
pieces of candy and cookies.</span></span></span></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: times new roman,serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Once Santa settled, Forest Tinselstockings came in with the anti-static
brush. (His name actually <i>was </i>Forrest – Forrest Gump, no relation. Since
that Tom Hanks movie came out he kind of liked his new name.)</span></span></span></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: times new roman,serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Santa delivers all those presents by means of a space-time
wormhole tesseract, a device given to him in 1032. At the time Santa,
using his magical reindeer, could easily get around and deliver gifts to
all the good children. Just the same, a strange man arrived at Santa’s
home in the Forest of Burzee – literally inside his home, materializing
in a small blue box and calling himself The Doctor.</span></span></span></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: times new roman,serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">The
Doctor informed Santa that he’d someday need time saving devices,
and gave him a Bag of Holding (which proved to be bigger on the inside)
as well as the tesseract. All he asked in return was for Santa to
make him a power tool that could open doors and make routine
physics calculations, but that would still fit in his pocket.<br /></span></span></span></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: times new roman,serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span></span></span></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: times new roman,serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv0uIuPoePVZQCADdD9giLR_aKbAL4JJ3rbNdCsUUzkFO1aiC0IUL8eKz2vApc8B1lMIbTnc3seShw0Ixc-5FcfecCMtIRoKsEsr7MsmFKmJPeYGABH9iTKc9oMolj8admhlGmvFZlwuPfMvKRN94DwP2TtC06pmm7weT5Ag1CauwqttRS6ejpBkZfw3Sb/s512/male_Doctor_Who_with_his_sonic_screwdriver_3220375529.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="512" data-original-width="512" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv0uIuPoePVZQCADdD9giLR_aKbAL4JJ3rbNdCsUUzkFO1aiC0IUL8eKz2vApc8B1lMIbTnc3seShw0Ixc-5FcfecCMtIRoKsEsr7MsmFKmJPeYGABH9iTKc9oMolj8admhlGmvFZlwuPfMvKRN94DwP2TtC06pmm7weT5Ag1CauwqttRS6ejpBkZfw3Sb/s320/male_Doctor_Who_with_his_sonic_screwdriver_3220375529.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>I asked one of those AI sites to give me an image of The Doctor ... and I have to admit to being a little freaked out. There are at least three Doctors mixed into the results.</i><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /> </span></span></span></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: times new roman,serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Santa came to realize he’d need those items. First, he
didn’t have the heart to give toys only to good kids, despite the
protests of his Chief Naughty Judge, Toadstool Chocolatecake. Soon out of
a job, Toadstool moved south to England, where he fell upon hard times
and took a servant job after changing back to his original name, Dobby.</span></span></span></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: times new roman,serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Second,
Santa could not predict the ability of the human race to … shall we
say, expand. He originally served a population of a 250,000,000, which
seems like a lot until you subtract adults and bad kids.
The Viking kids almost never got presents, but up north they appreciated
the coal.</span></span></span></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: times new roman,serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">As a result of the devices, Forest – Forest Tinselstockins – had to use the anti-static brush every December 26<sup>th</sup>.
It not only helped static, it also removed tachyon particles that
became attached to Santa’s wool clothing and beard during the trip. If
not for that treatment, at random intervals Santa would find himself
flung to a very hot planet circling the star 40 Eridani A, where
absolutely no one believed in Santa and his jolly nature was seen as
quite illogical. Getting back to Earth was a pain.</span></span></span></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: times new roman,serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">My
point is that Christmas was a stressful time for Santa Claus, even
more stressful than for anyone else. At least Santa had a team, led by
the trusted Merry Toffeebaubles, to get the lights untangled and strung
up. (Merry’s real name is Mary; she considers herself lucky, especially
since her last name used to be Weirenkawoski.)</span></span></span></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: times new roman,serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span></span></span></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: times new roman,serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoRqrZPp65MnkGhQKskHg6b49_2amBzIYUWSzNBpUGgsIgGd6xeoutk9LXMRN5EaYFrgfwyysbZcmHqTnnMnc4xiB9ifj25uxdhKQxAv6b2LW8gDMskmW2psyFysu4c2MUbjub8ztb5SxKzl_qClQkjiPvPab_isk85x6XwppB5q8Uy3sU1_HnQ7za0_yb/s512/young_female_elf_Christmas_clothing_1684345658.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="512" data-original-width="512" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoRqrZPp65MnkGhQKskHg6b49_2amBzIYUWSzNBpUGgsIgGd6xeoutk9LXMRN5EaYFrgfwyysbZcmHqTnnMnc4xiB9ifj25uxdhKQxAv6b2LW8gDMskmW2psyFysu4c2MUbjub8ztb5SxKzl_qClQkjiPvPab_isk85x6XwppB5q8Uy3sU1_HnQ7za0_yb/s320/young_female_elf_Christmas_clothing_1684345658.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>"One light goes out and they all go out!"<br /></i></td></tr></tbody></table><br /> </span></span></span></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: times new roman,serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">So
he had his Jack Daniels, his over the counter meds, his foot bath, and
his combing. He relaxed with a couple of glasses of the good stuff while
listening to gentle, soothing songs sung by Blueberry Embercane
(previously known as Elvis). Planning for next Christmas started on
December 27<sup>th</sup>, so the relaxation time was very important.</span></span></span></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: times new roman,serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Later
he’d be checked over by Dr. Gingercane, who had a degree, maybe
ironically, from The University of Hawaii. Santa always had various
scratches, bruises, and the occasional burn, and dog bites weren’t out
of the question. He hadn’t been seriously injured since Saddam Hussein
tried to shoot him down in 1989, and that was just a little shrapnel.</span></span></span></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: times new roman,serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">“Merry
Christmas, Santa!” said Evergreen Iciclepears after Santa had, shall we
say, warmed up a bit. “Preliminary indications are that it went very
well this year.”</span></span></span></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: times new roman,serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">“Well, I got back with all the reindeer,” Santa replied. “So yes – Merry Christmas, indeed. Is breakfast almost ready?”</span></span></span></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: times new roman,serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">“Oh, absolutely. Partridge Emberwine is cooking up all your favorites. So, do you have any New Year’s resolutions?”</span></span></span></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: times new roman,serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Santa
paused to think. “Well, back in 1914 I resolved not to give gifts to
bad kids anymore, but I just couldn’t stick with it. In 1964 I resolved
to lose weight, but the wife wouldn’t allow it. ‘The kids expect a fat
Santa!’ she kept saying. Who could foresee this health craze? Now she
wants me to get a Wii Fit.”</span></span></span></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: times new roman,serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Leaning
back, he sighed. “I guess I’ll just resolve to keep going … and maybe,
someday, if they come to understand giving enough, more of the bad kids
will become good kids.</span></span></span></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: times new roman,serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">“Now, let’s get to that breakfast – I’ve got my early massage scheduled.”</span></span></span></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: times new roman,serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span></span></span></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: times new roman,serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7VMUY2S3PWOjflQgMdoMt-ZecCOYCLN06wxnJzIjDXTLW5bukRBAzXXrTWAvIpggUew9e5tnB69SDsqgJYBWxDCAJNQXIsBuIjDcbbwYLH07iGlenvf-vRJ5ghVXdXSJGAdb09vOeU_GdsoYsI77A1tRFCz6YTf44_YXharQQkHxerNobzJkvSsOzizKN/s640/Wreath%20of%20Khan.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7VMUY2S3PWOjflQgMdoMt-ZecCOYCLN06wxnJzIjDXTLW5bukRBAzXXrTWAvIpggUew9e5tnB69SDsqgJYBWxDCAJNQXIsBuIjDcbbwYLH07iGlenvf-vRJ5ghVXdXSJGAdb09vOeU_GdsoYsI77A1tRFCz6YTf44_YXharQQkHxerNobzJkvSsOzizKN/s320/Wreath%20of%20Khan.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>The annual appearance of Emily's Wreath Of Kahn<br /></i></td></tr></tbody></table><br /> </span></span></span></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: times new roman,serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span></span></span></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: times new roman,serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span></span></span></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<ul type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Amazon:</span></strong> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO" target="_blank">https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Barnes & Noble:</span></strong>
<a href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/%22Mark%20R%20Hunter%22" target="_blank">https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Goodreads:</span></strong>
<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter">https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Blog: </span></strong><a href="https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Website: </span></strong><a href="http://www.markrhunter.com/" target="_blank">http://www.markrhunter.com/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Instagram: </span></strong><a href="https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Facebook: </span></strong><a href="https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Linkedin: </span></strong><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/" target="_blank">https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Twitter: </span></strong><a href="https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter" target="_blank">https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Youtube: </span></strong><a href="https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Substack:</span></strong>
<a href="https://substack.com/@markrhunter">https://substack.com/@markrhunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Tumblr:</span></strong> <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914">https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914</a></li></ul>
<p> </p>
<p><i>Remember, reading books in January is far safer then sledding, whether you have reindeer or not.</i> </p> <span style="font-family: times new roman,serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></span></span></div></div>Mark R Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07685591390353442531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467533615728239939.post-82561613529332470072023-12-28T17:00:00.001-05:002023-12-28T17:00:00.130-05:00Looking To 2024 With Fear and Trepidation<p> Good riddance, 2023. To paraphrase "True Grit", "the love of decency does not abide in you".</p><p>The problem is, I said the same thing at the end of 2022.</p><p>That being the case, I no longer make noises about the next year being better than the last one. 2023 started out with losing a nephew, paused in the middle for the death of our dog, and ended with my wife and I both down with Covid. Those are just the highlights. We also had to replace our car, and oh, yeah--our microwave caught fire. Again. (It was just smoke.)</p><p>Then there was the sinus surgery which, it turns out, doesn't prevent Covid. Emily had to face the death of one of the horses she worked with. We didn't get a new book out in 2023, and had to push back the deadline on the one we're working on. Oh, and I had a biopsy on my TONGUE.</p><p> </p><p></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinodwi4WrANtrZoW1dCrJPS8F08jyK9iZYqp4zdufUmZhf2o-uJCMRO3bIvYb3WLfQdQ1U2gyPyZWKUkiiuiFiLPy74AYCnh9Rdobtk6F52hlhafB3HBauQkmWcvm5__DpYzkjikKCDP_dhgIYci643CldR-MrObtYea0W-_f6Azyb25Ju7ssJVw-vksFO/s1920/Surgery%20Mark%20recovery.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1920" data-original-width="1440" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinodwi4WrANtrZoW1dCrJPS8F08jyK9iZYqp4zdufUmZhf2o-uJCMRO3bIvYb3WLfQdQ1U2gyPyZWKUkiiuiFiLPy74AYCnh9Rdobtk6F52hlhafB3HBauQkmWcvm5__DpYzkjikKCDP_dhgIYci643CldR-MrObtYea0W-_f6Azyb25Ju7ssJVw-vksFO/s320/Surgery%20Mark%20recovery.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Surgery or virus? You decide.<br /></i></td></tr></tbody></table> <p></p><p>Could 2024 be worse than that?</p><p>Yes. Yes, it could. I mean, it's an election year, so there's that all by itself.</p><p>This year a third of the people are going to pick a candidate to fight a different third of the people who the first third hate, and the second third is going to pick someone who they hope will be horrible to the first third, while the middle third do their best to ignore all of this, even though they're the ones who'll suffer the most.</p><p>It's politics as written by <span>Joseph Heller. We'll call it "Catch 24".</span></p><p><span>(Hey, I just had an idea for a new novel!)</span></p><p><span>There's not much we can do about a lot of this, including the elections, once the graveyard votes are counted. So what are we to do about the world's current state of affairs?</span></p><p><span>Laugh.</span></p><p><span>That's right, you heard me. Laugh, even if it scares people. <br /></span></p><p><span></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhReH7FAY6mY3yvocNfEIN_haqI8f-sezYNy3HbC4F0PU94cE2_agQpmjL_VGUQxlB1Y3f_E1D5aIf4uxB-zrvzS4-cfVjfXPAWkNlwyJk8diIpcO1v7shphgExlO-GWaOJaOuBXXyEz6oA0ywJizjF6bjeFuFrguFdCbG9vUJnMTrmEd0MkhUOqFCEU42I/s300/Cure%20Terminator.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="168" data-original-width="300" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhReH7FAY6mY3yvocNfEIN_haqI8f-sezYNy3HbC4F0PU94cE2_agQpmjL_VGUQxlB1Y3f_E1D5aIf4uxB-zrvzS4-cfVjfXPAWkNlwyJk8diIpcO1v7shphgExlO-GWaOJaOuBXXyEz6oA0ywJizjF6bjeFuFrguFdCbG9vUJnMTrmEd0MkhUOqFCEU42I/s1600/Cure%20Terminator.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Now, that's scary.</i><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><span><br /> I'm going to make an extra effort in 2024 to make people laugh. I'm not going to guarantee health, or that my appliances will keep working, or that Congress will start acting responsibly. (See, that last made me giggle right there.) I'm fairly certain at this point that the Presidential election will be a farce regardless of who wins, so why not poke fun at it, too? Maybe, with luck, in the coming year I'll have another exploding lawn mower to talk about.</span><p></p><p><span>Okay, I don't want to go that far. Again.</span></p><p><span>But laughter often is the best medicine, at least for your brain, and I'm going to work on turning it into an epidemic. The laughter, I mean. Because we can't change a lot of bad things with the exception of politics, so we might as well feel better about them.</span></p><p><span>Maybe we'll even sell more copies of our humor books.</span></p><p><span>Okay, let's not expect too much. 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Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
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<ul type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Amazon:</span></strong> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO" target="_blank">https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Barnes & Noble:</span></strong>
<a href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/%22Mark%20R%20Hunter%22" target="_blank">https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Goodreads:</span></strong>
<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter">https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Blog: </span></strong><a href="https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Website: </span></strong><a href="http://www.markrhunter.com/" target="_blank">http://www.markrhunter.com/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Instagram: </span></strong><a href="https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Facebook: </span></strong><a href="https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Linkedin: </span></strong><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/" target="_blank">https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Twitter: </span></strong><a href="https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter" target="_blank">https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Youtube: </span></strong><a href="https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Substack:</span></strong>
<a href="https://substack.com/@markrhunter">https://substack.com/@markrhunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Tumblr:</span></strong> <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914">https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914</a></li></ul>
<ul type="disc"></ul>
<p> </p>
<p><i>Remember, it takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown, and we're all tired.</i></p><p><i> </i></p><p><i></i></p><p></p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQwSO_dLyGOAAvE7NoqLfKbo2FsKLyfgO0iUzWQQ5pAxcb2MZ2a2PSdUL9C7lx_B1fH0qNuAi4lgigF-i4axUF_NiCb6N3kECuY4KiY_THrTU56OMLiRFtxhzFEsLmYEo9olRvjgFU1lkgICVMl3cITzWqwV0BxVvsgqHoQ_enGP2USDKjkHY_3KB4fUs0/s1080/92678-84.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="1080" height="237" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQwSO_dLyGOAAvE7NoqLfKbo2FsKLyfgO0iUzWQQ5pAxcb2MZ2a2PSdUL9C7lx_B1fH0qNuAi4lgigF-i4axUF_NiCb6N3kECuY4KiY_THrTU56OMLiRFtxhzFEsLmYEo9olRvjgFU1lkgICVMl3cITzWqwV0BxVvsgqHoQ_enGP2USDKjkHY_3KB4fUs0/s320/92678-84.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />Mark R Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07685591390353442531noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467533615728239939.post-2163692244870874432023-12-23T16:00:00.002-05:002023-12-23T18:58:37.621-05:00How I Saved Christmas, Kind Of<p> </p><p>In the dollar store<br /></p><p>I don’t make this stuff up—</p><p>I ran into the Grinch,</p><p>And his reindeer, the pup.</p><p> </p><p>“What brings you to town?” I asked, to be nice.</p><p>“The last time I heard you suffered the vice</p><p>Of hating all Christmas, the presents and lights;</p><p>Yet you stand in the isle of Yuletide delights.”</p><p> </p><p>It’s true: We were right in the holiday lane,</p><p>The same place I cursed when Halloween came.</p><p>There were pine trees by pumpkins, costumes with wreaths.</p><p>You could get pumpkin spice with mint or with wraiths.</p><p> </p><p>(See what I did, there?)</p><p> </p><p><img alt="" class="size-full wp-image-129855" height="320" src="https://humoroutcasts.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/grinch.jpg" width="267" /></p><p>“I’ve joined the club”, he told me with a sneer.</p><p>“I’m going full out on Christmas this year.</p><p>I’m buying up lights and tinsel and stuff;</p><p>Don’t know what this is, but I can’t get enough.”</p><p> </p><p>The thing he held up was a Thanksgiving display,</p><p>On clearance from last month, but I didn’t say.</p><p>“But I don’t understand,” I told the green guy.</p><p>“I thought you hate Christmas, and want it to die.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, I do,” said the Grinch, with a Darth Vader like laugh.</p><p>(I don’t think Vader chortled, so that may be a gaff.)</p><p>“I’m joining the club; I’m going all in.</p><p>The result is a club they won’t want to be in!</p><p> </p><p>“I’m putting up stockings, a tree in each room,</p><p>Outside speakers from which carols will boom.</p><p>Gaudy garland to drape all over my cave,</p><p>And starting that evening: all night holiday rave.</p><p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEho7b8AHdyZXl-r71eeXPoeZFS-S6-5u-6hnhNgieJPXe4pAlPCoP5EW_PTehta-TgFkK0gPw7NpGuu9WowkVFQ4wWzWPMnkENDZLJQCuKoI6O7mlzh0XEzvqyfIFY6W5aA51MqjPL445VFcILv56UMsfX7GcKXpjAXYsyCl7_IxQMCH2Hk9mQg0W5QJaX2/s2046/IMG_6806.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2046" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEho7b8AHdyZXl-r71eeXPoeZFS-S6-5u-6hnhNgieJPXe4pAlPCoP5EW_PTehta-TgFkK0gPw7NpGuu9WowkVFQ4wWzWPMnkENDZLJQCuKoI6O7mlzh0XEzvqyfIFY6W5aA51MqjPL445VFcILv56UMsfX7GcKXpjAXYsyCl7_IxQMCH2Hk9mQg0W5QJaX2/s320/IMG_6806.jpeg" width="240" /></a></div><p><br /></p><p>“I’ll not have tree skirts—oh no, tree gowns!</p><p>My garland will go wrapping around and around</p><p>Not just my home but the whole doggone mountain—</p><p>And a red, green, and yellow spice flavored fountain.</p><p> </p><p>“Candles and pillows and shelves of snow globes,</p><p>Warm but so gaudy sweaters and robes,</p><p>Pillows and rugs and a gingerbread house—</p><p>And my wife will be decorated … if I find me a spouse.</p><p> </p><p>“Decoration limits? We won’t have any lid.</p><p>My holiday lights will take down the whole grid!</p><p>I’ll blind passing planes, then I’ll darken the state.</p><p>And then I’ll light candles and start a clean slate.</p><p> </p><p>“And, oh yes, I’ll put my own name up in a blaze,</p><p>In rich Christmas colors, to cut through the haze</p><p>So all the Who’s down in Whoville, that dump</p><p>Will know it is I who gave Christmas a bump.”</p><p> </p><p>I have to admit, I was a bit mystified.</p><p>When it comes to the Grinch—well, this wasn’t the side</p><p>You think of when picturing this big green guy.</p><p>(Sure, he’s no Hulk, but still.)</p><p>So with great trepidation, I had to ask: “Why?”</p><p> </p><p>“Why? You want to know why?”</p><p>(He sounded very much like Jack Nicholson at that point.)</p><p>“I’ll tell you why.</p><p> </p><p>“My plan can’t be stopped, so I’ll tell you the reason:</p><p>By the time I’m done you’ll be sick of this season.</p><p>Everyone will hate Christmas: The music will grate,</p><p>The spice cinnamon stuff will make them hesitate</p><p> </p><p>“To go out and carol, even if it's fat free!</p><p>Or at least that’s how I’d feel, if caroling me.</p><p>And when it’s all done, they’ll feel the same way</p><p>As they feel about me—the Grinch—every day.”</p><p> </p><p>I have to admit, he’d made a good plan.</p><p>Immersion attack from a Christmas hit man.</p><p>And it would have worked too, except he didn’t see</p><p>It had already been done, with consumerist glee.</p><p> </p><p><img alt="" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-134771" height="643" src="https://humoroutcasts.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/Christmas-tree-2020-2.png" width="370" /></p><p> </p><p>I began to explain, but we’d hit the checkout,</p><p>And I realized what he was about to find out.</p><p>The clerk rang it up, a green sounding ring,</p><p>The numbers kept rising with every new bling.</p><p> </p><p>The Grinch stumbled back, his hand to his head.</p><p>“With that bill the reindeer dog won’t get fed,</p><p>The heat will go off, hot chocolate won’t trickle—</p><p>I’ll end up a homeless, frozen Grinch-cicle!”</p><p> </p><p>And he left his load there: every last light and trinket.</p><p>“If I knew of the cost I never would think it!</p><p>I’m going old school, next year I’ll lay low</p><p>And steal all the stuff from the Who’s down below.”</p><p> </p><p>It’s an odd way to save Christmas, I think you’ll agree.</p><p>But that’s just how it happened … take it from me.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><ul type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Amazon:</span></b> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO" target="_blank">https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Barnes & Noble:</span></b>
<a href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/%22Mark%20R%20Hunter%22" target="_blank">https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Goodreads:</span></b>
<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter">https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Blog: </span></b><a href="https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Website: </span></b><a href="http://www.markrhunter.com/" target="_blank">http://www.markrhunter.com/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Instagram: </span></b><a href="https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Facebook: </span></b><a href="https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Linkedin: </span></b><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/" target="_blank">https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Twitter: </span></b><a href="https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter" target="_blank">https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Youtube: </span></b><a href="https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Substack:</span></b>
<a href="https://substack.com/@markrhunter">https://substack.com/@markrhunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Tumblr:</span></b> <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914">https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914</a></li></ul>
<p> </p>
<p><i>Remember, every time you buy a book the Grinch's small library grows three times.</i> </p>
<p> </p>Mark R Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07685591390353442531noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467533615728239939.post-62663597205484154392023-12-21T12:58:00.000-05:002023-12-21T12:58:09.131-05:00I have an awesome wife (who may read this)<p> What do you get for the woman who has everything?</p><p>Or more importantly, what do I get for my wife? She certainly doesn't have everything, but I can't afford a winter house in Hawaii, and the whole hiding a horse in our garage thing didn't work out well at all.</p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh08MMM8Jkbe4eLtUhkesCD6sy-WW4AOFeuWoLaXSMmKToEOST-mmPDJd_dTrIvwFOK9OI_s9YTFIiqMF7aREOq1vYl9lw6HPCcYH5LthfGZrq6Orc8B0xSMdQTRw2z1CfQw-af9W4LPopfAQOtlOiVgzqmKRHzQe7d1L3tsqPVRPjNJn8KQAmJRNONjyQ7/s1600/IMG_0031.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh08MMM8Jkbe4eLtUhkesCD6sy-WW4AOFeuWoLaXSMmKToEOST-mmPDJd_dTrIvwFOK9OI_s9YTFIiqMF7aREOq1vYl9lw6HPCcYH5LthfGZrq6Orc8B0xSMdQTRw2z1CfQw-af9W4LPopfAQOtlOiVgzqmKRHzQe7d1L3tsqPVRPjNJn8KQAmJRNONjyQ7/s320/IMG_0031.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Or even something like a horse.<br /></i></td></tr></tbody></table><p> </p><p>I can't even get her another dog, because it turns out I'm allergic to them. Not as much as I'm allergic to cats, but these lungs are getting old.</p><p>I can't get her another car, even though in the long run they're less expensive than horses. That's usually not a problem with us, but with only one car we can't exactly split the shopping chores.</p><p>Maybe I should get a star named after her, like in the commercials. Oh, it might not be official, but what are the chances someone's going to go there and change the name anytime soon?</p><p>Emily and I have been married for so long that by now she knows I suck at little things like gift shopping, special event planning, romantic surprises, cooking, knowing where I left--anything, and a lot of other stuff. It helps that I do a bang-up job of washing dishes. In fact, I can load the dish drying rack with seven times its normal capacity, which gets me very close to a national record.</p><p>Playing Janga with dishes isn't very romantic, but no chore is perfect.</p><p><br /><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZb8gtFH38ODKnwHTARGxFhhRSCtvGhrosuei5h4nAtLOJLxp492NVzGwCkVwiJjAm2PRc3xqbZDcvDVIl6O6Cs-tfHrh-IutbYUpqCLeKiIJEsPBesKmm0IP65Xc8fjMHV1d0zSNz2WeF4RkSY3BWx0fH3aqIArhv5MgETPo8Ak3R2UhgdYwwmsQFiNsQ/s2592/IMG_0829.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1936" data-original-width="2592" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZb8gtFH38ODKnwHTARGxFhhRSCtvGhrosuei5h4nAtLOJLxp492NVzGwCkVwiJjAm2PRc3xqbZDcvDVIl6O6Cs-tfHrh-IutbYUpqCLeKiIJEsPBesKmm0IP65Xc8fjMHV1d0zSNz2WeF4RkSY3BWx0fH3aqIArhv5MgETPo8Ak3R2UhgdYwwmsQFiNsQ/s320/IMG_0829.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /> <p></p><p>Emily was born on the shortest day of the year, as I've mentioned before, and that means something to me. From that moment, the days get longer. This time of year I go to work in the dark and get home in the dark, but spring will come again. Emily symbolizes my life getting brighter.</p><p>Which reminds me: I think last year, 2022, I promised her that 2023 would be better. Well, that didn't pan out, did it? I guess I have a lot of work to do in 2024. <br /></p><p>No matter what I get her--and I do have something in mind--I know that she knows I love her, and that's something. In fact, I tell her that every day: "I love you! Don't go looking for someone better ... you'll probably find him".</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjlH2hdTgVd6VH7gXwTro-rnHhAY1n12B6x5wzOoA594IccyA4-4GPtQk4GXgLwwUdYWaNJ8JhToZ4Tu5MM16jhBSmHaYNv_GwG5zFLxRjCuiOrDXJQZhfKIDOihyphenhyphenxeEqmXt-jUFR1cf4Lej0goGtb3AXyWADRcqCfIhyOZ69I9pjYm1JrSC3Pd4dndte3/s1066/aEmi%20horse%20Pokagon%20(2).png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="721" data-original-width="1066" height="216" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjlH2hdTgVd6VH7gXwTro-rnHhAY1n12B6x5wzOoA594IccyA4-4GPtQk4GXgLwwUdYWaNJ8JhToZ4Tu5MM16jhBSmHaYNv_GwG5zFLxRjCuiOrDXJQZhfKIDOihyphenhyphenxeEqmXt-jUFR1cf4Lej0goGtb3AXyWADRcqCfIhyOZ69I9pjYm1JrSC3Pd4dndte3/s320/aEmi%20horse%20Pokagon%20(2).png" width="320" /></a></div><p> </p><p>I will never, <i>never </i>ask if she loves horses more than me.<br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Mark R Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07685591390353442531noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467533615728239939.post-60732755078475999632023-12-16T15:09:00.000-05:002023-12-16T15:09:46.105-05:00On Free Books, Covid, and Publishing Delays<p> I didn't think I'd get a blog out this weekend, between all the sleeping and the complaining. (That would be me complaining: Covid sucks.)</p><p>Still, there are those times when the coughing wakes us up (Emily has it too), so I figured I should do something. I won't be able to get back to work until Friday, and honestly I'm a little concerned about my ability to make it through a 12 hour shift even then. But enough about Covid for now; I've collected enough material to do a whole blog on the subject, although I question whether I can make it funny.</p><p>On a brighter note, <i>Coming Attractions</i> is once again free until December 31st, thanks to the Smashwords 2023 End Of Year Sale:</p><p><a href="https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914">https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914 </a><br /></p><p style="text-align: left;"><code></code></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><code><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIRm5khWPl1wZjbQEtUVj3PGt4gTTuLDBHUKg9RCFPgoeBikT-UNpN8IaeRvu4IOINY7KUz93JmV_VVmXRKZgBCDKTfG9455J2-cnfEay5OOfJ_6B-OdnJtzWSsHOIzXrIjXOo1QBbvC2VeDo7iyg9Bl73gHntUl2LmtAKUnWfO6YG8pPxAhicvE1ef_ey/s1080/2023_promo_eoy_insta_free.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIRm5khWPl1wZjbQEtUVj3PGt4gTTuLDBHUKg9RCFPgoeBikT-UNpN8IaeRvu4IOINY7KUz93JmV_VVmXRKZgBCDKTfG9455J2-cnfEay5OOfJ_6B-OdnJtzWSsHOIzXrIjXOo1QBbvC2VeDo7iyg9Bl73gHntUl2LmtAKUnWfO6YG8pPxAhicvE1ef_ey/s320/2023_promo_eoy_insta_free.png" width="320" /></a></code></div><code> #SmashwordsEoYSale</code><p></p><p><code> </code></p><div><span style="font-size: medium;">The
catch: It's part of the Smashwords promotion, which means,
let's face it, you have to get it on Smashwords. But it's availalbe </span><span style="font-size: medium;">on epub, mobi, and pdf formats, or as
an original document. It should be readable to anyone with an
e-reader, cell phone, or computer. (The book is thus far unavailable on </span><span class="JCzEY ZwRhJd"><span class="CSkcDe">cuneiform tablets.)</span></span></div><div><span class="JCzEY ZwRhJd"><span class="CSkcDe"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="JCzEY ZwRhJd"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisMd0erNkp3_SPQWnWYR7a5LVg5ulPTFsqakQKHC2JfoJLULSSpSvIj5hfUQmGm27gf7jYVXf4TIFuM5Aril3sa-IEbXclT2Ksih-dYffAImQ7viWbME8SJ4VZeYMJcIQ4V8-jz1vj9Eb68B_dD0QBXq5tZXfJ8zYmHSLLSW5EK4Yi0fqPtivTsGFVNVLJ/s1080/Christmas%20coming%20attractions.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisMd0erNkp3_SPQWnWYR7a5LVg5ulPTFsqakQKHC2JfoJLULSSpSvIj5hfUQmGm27gf7jYVXf4TIFuM5Aril3sa-IEbXclT2Ksih-dYffAImQ7viWbME8SJ4VZeYMJcIQ4V8-jz1vj9Eb68B_dD0QBXq5tZXfJ8zYmHSLLSW5EK4Yi0fqPtivTsGFVNVLJ/s320/Christmas%20coming%20attractions.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><span class="CSkcDe">Now for the bad publishing news: Due to the Covid and various other horrible stuff that's happened this year, we've had to push back the publication of our <i>Haunted History: Noble County</i> book. My plan was to have most of it done by now, and I've hardly even started on the interviews; nor am I going to interview anyone face to face, until I'm sure we're done with this crud. So at this point the book I promised in 2024 is probably not going to be released by History Press until 2025 (which is not an outrageous delay in traditional publishing).</span></span></div><div><span class="JCzEY ZwRhJd"><span class="CSkcDe"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="JCzEY ZwRhJd"><span class="CSkcDe">Better a delay than a poorly put together product. I'm bummed by it, yes, but I'll be cheered up by all those people buying our books this Christmas season. Get buyin'!<br /></span></span></div><div><span class="JCzEY ZwRhJd"><span class="CSkcDe"><br /></span></span></div><p><code> </code></p><p><code> </code><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
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</p><ul type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Amazon:</span></strong> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO" target="_blank">https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Barnes & Noble:</span></strong>
<a href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/%22Mark%20R%20Hunter%22" target="_blank">https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Goodreads:</span></strong>
<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter">https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Blog: </span></strong><a href="https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Website: </span></strong><a href="http://www.markrhunter.com/" target="_blank">http://www.markrhunter.com/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Instagram: </span></strong><a href="https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Facebook: </span></strong><a href="https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Linkedin: </span></strong><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/" target="_blank">https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Twitter: </span></strong><a href="https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter" target="_blank">https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Youtube: </span></strong><a href="https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Substack:</span></strong>
<a href="https://substack.com/@markrhunter">https://substack.com/@markrhunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Tumblr:</span></strong> <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914">https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914</a></li></ul>
<p> </p>
<p><i>Remember, no one ever went broke buying free books. Reading them, maybe.</i> </p>
Mark R Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07685591390353442531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467533615728239939.post-1256115520239053132023-12-08T18:14:00.002-05:002023-12-08T18:14:23.572-05:00A Chocolate Revolution<p> Now, before you panic (like I did), keep in mind that this dire prediction has been made before. I even wrote about it in a past column:</p><p><a href="https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/2014/03/a-chocolate-lovers-worst-nightmare.html">https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/2014/03/a-chocolate-lovers-worst-nightmare.html</a></p><p>The prediction: a chocolate shortage.</p><p>Okay, you can go ahead and panic now.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRO8yc10UI72JTFHvDJTLrcWgsLHkUPTa3ydCSX-4BOhCrr0YJexUNl3hEtPKTtZzTQo2tjr9RAMqQKD-PrVJQY2ivyoaMrhQoIiYfwCNUwoG3ji5KZFr2tUYSQHkADFlOhIrhL1K6D6e1tNvnM2ivDern_mYiRHvmOgFtw1ElNmkJumMBIEw64eqe79tB/s225/chocolate%20love.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="225" data-original-width="225" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRO8yc10UI72JTFHvDJTLrcWgsLHkUPTa3ydCSX-4BOhCrr0YJexUNl3hEtPKTtZzTQo2tjr9RAMqQKD-PrVJQY2ivyoaMrhQoIiYfwCNUwoG3ji5KZFr2tUYSQHkADFlOhIrhL1K6D6e1tNvnM2ivDern_mYiRHvmOgFtw1ElNmkJumMBIEw64eqe79tB/s1600/chocolate%20love.png" width="225" /></a></div><br /> <p></p><p>Yeah, it didn't prove to be so bad after 2014, but this is 2023. Everything is proving to be bad in 2023.</p><p>The reason for the shortage is, of course, climate change. About two-thirds of the world's entire supply of cocoa comes from Ivory Coast and Ghana in Africa. We think of Africa as a dry place, but West Africa had been getting way more rainfall than usual, leading to the lowest cocoa harvests in decades. The rain makes cocoa flowers fall off before they can bud, and can also cause a cocoa-killing fungi.</p><p>As if that wasn't bad enough, there's a sugar shortage thanks to the climate condition called El Nino. So with two of the main ingredients in short supply, major candy manufacturers are raising prices to compensate for a 46 year high in cocoa value. And worse, just before Christmas. What are the odds?<br /></p><p>Hm. Just before Christmas. What <i>are</i> the odds?</p><p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF8O6syOnpmycj6eUm8czJrNZW5iLUvQfBzn0YltB_M1CaPIXvTm2NR-q0LXuI15v8LYNAkIm-HNHah4xAmA_yAZoSkeIQdc2gBsAA-58E7g1VjME4lWJi5ZmG65ypMPkgh650ogTrbDCHtD4URK_KkpJmpPpUAqIG1rUfjqMVvRp5NIE42v9N2wbCqQsn/s570/chocolate%20smores.webp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="570" height="281" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF8O6syOnpmycj6eUm8czJrNZW5iLUvQfBzn0YltB_M1CaPIXvTm2NR-q0LXuI15v8LYNAkIm-HNHah4xAmA_yAZoSkeIQdc2gBsAA-58E7g1VjME4lWJi5ZmG65ypMPkgh650ogTrbDCHtD4URK_KkpJmpPpUAqIG1rUfjqMVvRp5NIE42v9N2wbCqQsn/s320/chocolate%20smores.webp" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>This is giving me S'More ideas.<br /></i></td></tr></tbody></table><br /> </p><p>I'm smelling a rat, here, instead of a chocolate bunny.</p><p>What if it's a conspiracy, designed to put money into the pockets of fat chocolate industrialists. (I'm not being insulting: I just assume anyone who deals with chocolate all day may end up fat.) Maybe they're hoarding all the cocoa and sugar, to make the prices go up? What if the Bilderberg meetings were nothing more than an organized plan to get chocolate into the hands of its members? (which would require a napkin, of course.)</p><p>I can see them all sitting around, dipping chocolate into a chocolate fountain, chortling in the way bad guys do. That's why Bill Clinton went over there, to donate his supply of chocolate after Hillary bugged him to eat better. Their Number One is probably a guy named CocoaFinger. Where's James Bond when you need him?</p><p>"CocoaFinger, do you expect me to talk?"</p><p>"No, Mr. Bond! I expect you to snack! Try the left Kit Kats, they're so much better than the right ones."</p><p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHZvAozaLpUFzijDUlNQHejHSa8CKwXpdZ1WV40o9qdOwYHaXu67FURLVFddZANB46Yp3LRyDZqKrHld_uutwWcENrzmFNwdPpmijDghrfbMvfH6yD_-gJDD3I2jRR3BFpsv319h1Sb31ufo_x4WmCDHknwpjRevEpmNmT3gsHJ_lUEfVUZIx_NXhmACtc/s400/chocolate%20brownie%20heart.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="300" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHZvAozaLpUFzijDUlNQHejHSa8CKwXpdZ1WV40o9qdOwYHaXu67FURLVFddZANB46Yp3LRyDZqKrHld_uutwWcENrzmFNwdPpmijDghrfbMvfH6yD_-gJDD3I2jRR3BFpsv319h1Sb31ufo_x4WmCDHknwpjRevEpmNmT3gsHJ_lUEfVUZIx_NXhmACtc/s320/chocolate%20brownie%20heart.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Even 007 loves homemade brownies. Stirred, not shaken.<br /></i></td></tr></tbody></table><br /> </p><p>Look, we've put up with pandemics, wars, and so many idiots in Washington that the whole town looks like a Three Stooges movie. I'm done putting up with things. Do they think we'll sit idly by while they stockpile Wonka Bars that rightfully belong in my mouth? I mean,our mouth? Mouths?<br /></p><p>It's time for a revolution.</p><p>Let's make the illuminati illuminate their secret society Snickers silos, stat. We want free M&Ms, not Free Masons! And quickly, before we all waste down to Skull and Bones! The Knights Templar don't scare us, and neither would a visit from the Men In Brown. All we're scared of is low blood sugar. They can have our chocolate when they pry it from our sticky, delicious hands!</p><p>We will <i>not</i> go quietly into vanilla flavored desserts!</p><p>We will <i>not</i> let our chocolate vanish without a fight!</p><p>We're going to snack on. <i>We're going to survive</i>. Today we celebrate INTERNATIONAL CHOCOLATE DAY!</p><p>Okay, that's actually in September, but it's the principle. </p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtVA1WHWlbeQp8iq569E6hegAcs89I2t4ofRyjgp5GazX2pKos76rAYcxj-v7mxWJmN7rp5limk1X-vlUrMdgP4F1divPSv2_48deWFW9D6nMTuTOrbkkbcAc8AWZr41xNqTFiKCw6ez6Tjb9wokRAtEFfdFpKpBCdOWy5hi3ZMZukTh6Z5wv2JlT93oj9/s800/chocolate%20independence%20day.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="800" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtVA1WHWlbeQp8iq569E6hegAcs89I2t4ofRyjgp5GazX2pKos76rAYcxj-v7mxWJmN7rp5limk1X-vlUrMdgP4F1divPSv2_48deWFW9D6nMTuTOrbkkbcAc8AWZr41xNqTFiKCw6ez6Tjb9wokRAtEFfdFpKpBCdOWy5hi3ZMZukTh6Z5wv2JlT93oj9/s320/chocolate%20independence%20day.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Say, did anyone just hear the music from "Independence Day"?</i></td></tr></tbody></table><p> </p><p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="page number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of authorities"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="macro"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="toa heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
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</p><ul type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Amazon:</span></strong> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO" target="_blank">https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Barnes & Noble:</span></strong>
<a href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/%22Mark%20R%20Hunter%22" target="_blank">https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Goodreads:</span></strong>
<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter">https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Blog: </span></strong><a href="https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Website: </span></strong><a href="http://www.markrhunter.com/" target="_blank">http://www.markrhunter.com/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Instagram: </span></strong><a href="https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Facebook: </span></strong><a href="https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Linkedin: </span></strong><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/" target="_blank">https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Twitter: </span></strong><a href="https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter" target="_blank">https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Youtube: </span></strong><a href="https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Substack:</span></strong>
<a href="https://substack.com/@markrhunter">https://substack.com/@markrhunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Tumblr:</span></strong> <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914">https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914</a></li></ul><p> </p><p><i>Oh my gosh, the hidden chocolate supply--that's The Secret of Oak Island!</i><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Mark R Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07685591390353442531noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467533615728239939.post-54995541100805214262023-12-01T16:30:00.001-05:002023-12-01T16:30:00.139-05:00A Conservative Lawn Mower<p>While I was mowing the lawn a few years ago, oil started spurting out all over (from the mower, not me). Investigation revealed the oil did not come from an opening oil should come out of. No, it was a <i>brand new</i> opening.<br /><br />Going back still another year, while I pushed that that very same mower, the handle suddenly dissolved into numerous pieces. They scattered across the lawn in a pattern that spelled out “Ha!” I found what I thought was one of those pieces still on the mower deck, and picked it up. The pattern of that bolt, which -- it turned out -- was actually from the engine, is imprinted to this day on the palm of my hand.<br /><br />No connection could be established between that red-hot doohickey and the auto-dismembering handle, but what are the odds?<br /><br /></p><img alt="" class="wp-image-138244" height="447" src="https://humoroutcasts.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Snow-blowing.png" width="335" /> <i>The worst day mowing is still better than the best day snow blowing. But it's coming, soon enough.<br /></i><p><br /><br />The lawn mower before that lost its life when I pulled the handle to start it, but failed to notice the rope didn’t retreat back into the machine, where it belonged. Then I mowed over the rope. It wasn’t pretty. My father eventually took that mower to his Home for Mistreated Machines (established in my honor), where it happily whacked away for years more, without a care. (In other words, without me.)<br /><br />The one before that is the Infamous Exploding Lawnmower, which caused the first ever Level One Hazardous Material Emergency in the history of Noble County, and was featured on both CNN and “The Simpson’s”. The parts that could be located are on display in the Smithsonian, after being borrowed by an investigation team from the History Channel program, “Engineering Disasters”.<br /><br />What I’m saying is, I have a history.<br /><br />After the most recent lawn mower sacrificed its lifeblood (still visible in a dead patch of grass that spells out “<i>help me</i>”), a friend let me borrow his. I know – dumb friend!<br /><br />Ironically, the mower ran just fine under my borrowship. It was a freakin’ miracle.<br /><br />Then my friend gave me the mower, maybe assuming it was tainted. He wasn't wrong.</p><p><img alt="" class="wp-image-138246" height="378" src="https://humoroutcasts.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Knee-mow.jpg" width="504" /> </p><p><i>Oh yeah, and this happened. Those wheels are supposed to go in the same direction.</i></p><p> </p><p>My mowers never screw up the same way twice. One time it's the starter rope; another time a cracked head (not unlike the one I got from a low hanging branch); then it’ll be sheets of flame and a towering mushroom cloud.<br /><br />So I’m mowing the lawn the day after the mower officially became mine, and it stops. Just stops, after once around the lawn. I manage to get it started. Once around, it stops again. After some effort, including changing the gas, oil and sparkplug, and some imaginative praying, I get it going again. Once around, it stops.<br /><br />Changing fluids is the extent of my capabilities. Yes, I can change the sparkplug, but that task once led to me regaining consciousness on top of the neighbor's car. But eventually, a realization hit me:<br /><br />When the mower leaned toward the right, it kept running. When it leaned toward the left, it stopped. Every time.<br /><br />I had a conservative lawn mower.</p><p><img alt="" class="wp-image-138245" height="342" src="https://humoroutcasts.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Mowing-Mark.jpg" width="432" /> </p><p><i>Okay, but how do I go the other way?</i></p><p><br />Luckily, very little of my lawn is level; in fact, there’s every indication the entire property is sliding downhill. The US Geological Service estimated that within the next hundred years my house will be west of the old car wash on the next block, which is bad because right now it’s <i>east</i> of the car wash. The same team that handled the Leaning Tower of Pizza is working on the problem.<br /><br />But my lawn can't wait a hundred years, so my solution was simple: Keep the mower’s right side pointed downhill at all times.<br /><br />I gotta tell you, that’s nowhere near as easy as I thought it might be:<br /><br />* Sooner or later, you’ve got to turn around. Otherwise, the neighbors will get annoyed.<br /><br />* When you back up, you can’t watch both the mower and the dog droppings.<br /><br />* Slipping while pulling a lawnmower toward you is the closest thing you can get to an instant of sheer terror without being in a plane crash.<br /><br />* Pulling a lawn mower toward you is dumb.<br /><br />This was a genius way to torture me. I possessed a mower that was perfectly capable of mowing, as long as it’s tilted in one direction. Why replace it? That’s money I could use for other things, like utility bills, food, or crutches. Besides, this is Indiana – I’m surprised there aren’t more right leaning lawn mowers. So I spent the next few years wearing out one side of my shoes.<br /><br />Sometimes I think my lawn can’t slide away soon enough.</p><p> </p><p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
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<ul type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Amazon:</span></strong> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO" target="_blank">https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Barnes & Noble:</span></strong>
<a href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/%22Mark%20R%20Hunter%22" target="_blank">https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Goodreads:</span></strong>
<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter">https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Blog: </span></strong><a href="https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Website: </span></strong><a href="http://www.markrhunter.com/" target="_blank">http://www.markrhunter.com/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Instagram: </span></strong><a href="https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Facebook: </span></strong><a href="https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Linkedin: </span></strong><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/" target="_blank">https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Twitter: </span></strong><a href="https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter" target="_blank">https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Youtube: </span></strong><a href="https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Substack:</span></strong>
<a href="https://substack.com/@markrhunter">https://substack.com/@markrhunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Tumblr:</span></strong> <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914">https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914</a></li></ul>
<ul type="disc"></ul><p> </p><p><i>Remember, if you don't stop to read, your lawn mower might inspire the next disaster movie.</i> <br /></p><p> </p>Mark R Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07685591390353442531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467533615728239939.post-62355251273261560622023-11-24T16:30:00.001-05:002023-11-24T16:30:00.132-05:00Writing, Thankfully<p> It's a rough time to find things to be thankful for. Oh, they're there: family, health ... okay, family. But our society today is geared toward stressing the bad, and taking the good for granted. It's human nature to complain; most of us do it. Right now, someone is complaining because I just used a semicolon. But I have a wife who gets me, grand-kids, a case of Mountain Dew in the kitchen, and I'm pretty sure there's chocolate around here, somewhere.</p><p>And my writing, which at various times in my life is the only thing that kept me sane. The following is an update to a blog I wrote way back in 2015. I wanted to let you know that in case anyone remembered it ... although it seems unlikely, after eight years of what the last eight years have been like.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZFjQvEmBkQlVKHATiUwfNpU6-bN_c9L6L3MRj65La7wH3fso_A61sqpCNgze8Jo8JZZtP-t0J4oyjx40Z-1AYj-lgo_MyxHA6XSl00du63MOuGAweOjrqaQ3mdH3iF4WeBR2w1_NOUTmwFuyn_FUoIfn_xUstn7ABprdtssXnnis_tcPL3_9TOipK6MY2/s1280/21interview3.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZFjQvEmBkQlVKHATiUwfNpU6-bN_c9L6L3MRj65La7wH3fso_A61sqpCNgze8Jo8JZZtP-t0J4oyjx40Z-1AYj-lgo_MyxHA6XSl00du63MOuGAweOjrqaQ3mdH3iF4WeBR2w1_NOUTmwFuyn_FUoIfn_xUstn7ABprdtssXnnis_tcPL3_9TOipK6MY2/s320/21interview3.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 12pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">
On this
Thanksgiving (this is Thanksgiving weekend, by the way, but all you turkeys already know that), I’d like to say how
thankful I am for my dislike of self-promotion.</div>
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I’ve spent a lot
of time writing press releases, blogging, signing books, and basically
bragging about how I’m such a good writer that you should spend your time and
money on me. It’s not in my nature. But then, neither is working, and I have
to do that, too.</div>
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My first book came out in 2011. Now I have
eleven published, with my name in three others, and a handful of published short stories.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 12pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"> When I first queried a publisher for a book length project I was eighteen—that was five years after my first "finished" novel. Please don't do the math on this, but it took me over thirty years to get a
novel published.</div>
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But I did get published, and that’s something
to be thankful for (among many other things). I may
be struggling
to make more sales, but I’m published—and a lot of writers don't make it
that far. To show how thankful I am … I’m going to work hard to get <i>more
</i>published. An unpublished book or
short
story should never rest on a writer’s desk (or hard drive) for long.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 12pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">And I'm going to keep up my efforts to spread the word about our books (let's face it, half of them would never have been published without Emily. More than half.) For me, that's way more work than the actual writing.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 12pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">But I'm thankful to be doing it.<br /></div><p></p><p><img alt="http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/f4/96/b8/f496b80c089f9c153efeac1b1a475620.jpg" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/proxy/AVvXsEhgHzSwS5HP0ZcCGAwGNBQOR-jLW3qrBtNpkFILoHixEpJa_hB4SWofvKFngIZULv3bB0rV4ZMl5oR5zvmECmuk5osyTYIXdjz_0AAynGtlKZeHMchDLOWaOwgGBsxtzVJYWopnA-rJAp2n7PgsM3G91ONt9ISyVHUHZP0Hxod2MJr3EFRph4SbYxqMCONJuGoREPgm=s0-d" /> </p><p> </p><p></p><p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><ul type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Amazon:</span></strong> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO" target="_blank">https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Barnes & Noble:</span></strong>
<a href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/%22Mark%20R%20Hunter%22" target="_blank">https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Goodreads:</span></strong>
<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter">https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Blog: </span></strong><a href="https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Website: </span></strong><a href="http://www.markrhunter.com/" target="_blank">http://www.markrhunter.com/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Instagram: </span></strong><a href="https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Facebook: </span></strong><a href="https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Linkedin: </span></strong><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/" target="_blank">https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Twitter: </span></strong><a href="https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter" target="_blank">https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Youtube: </span></strong><a href="https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Substack:</span></strong>
<a href="https://substack.com/@markrhunter">https://substack.com/@markrhunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Tumblr:</span></strong> <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914">https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914</a></li></ul>
<p>
</p><p><i>Remember to be thankful ... and also to read something fun.</i><br />
</p><p></p>Mark R Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07685591390353442531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467533615728239939.post-26447364147208744822023-11-21T22:12:00.003-05:002023-11-21T22:12:32.418-05:00Hey, I recognize that book<p> <span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">My Capital One card (well, the service) just notified me of a price break on a book I might be interested in:</span><br /><br /><a class="x1fey0fg xmper1u x1edh9d7" data-cke-saved-href="https://www.ebay.com/itm/142421058411?mkevt=1&mkcid=1&mkrid=711-53200-19255-0&campid=5337795679&toolid=10001&customid=441225e4afd549aba489231e2f2cf8dc" href="https://www.ebay.com/itm/142421058411?mkevt=1&mkcid=1&mkrid=711-53200-19255-0&campid=5337795679&toolid=10001&customid=441225e4afd549aba489231e2f2cf8dc"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">https://www.ebay.com/itm/142421058411?mkevt=1&mkcid=1&mkrid=711-53200-19255-0&campid=5337795679&toolid=10001&customid=441225e4afd549aba489231e2f2cf8dc</span></a><br /><br /><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">Well, yes, I'm interested in it--but I already have several copies.</span><br /><br /><img alt="" data-cke-saved-src="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/ozma914/7445523/121663/121663_original.jpg" height="721" src="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/ozma914/7445523/121663/121663_original.jpg" width="500" /><br type="_moz" /><br /><br type="_moz" /><br /></p>Mark R Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07685591390353442531noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467533615728239939.post-53626279471273157052023-11-16T16:30:00.009-05:002023-11-16T16:30:00.139-05:00More Places To Find Coming Attractions ... and Others<p> On most of my blogs I end with links to our website, along with Amazon, and Barnes and Noble links. But <i>Coming Attractions</i> is distributed through Smashwords, which is a bit of a different story. (Smashwords also distributes the two ebook anthologies I have stories in.)</p><p> <br /></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKCyE-EIDry2Ok4-P1iwvQMQ8hX4zl-02X8fUSow5yrbmRYW_MGKVl6LaBabh455zce7XOrAAYDQcSGHjAiwPVUnNjX0j2LMmUOQi0MASwLfBo5KvFnqBTkMdUTYW_xRb4a6UrOY5Z_Yi82QQw4Rvl6HUEAeFld91uakhSOhLqYZ_y_8YEDxCTrCFwjB5H/s1920/Wal-Mart%20e-book%20Coming%20Attractions.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1920" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKCyE-EIDry2Ok4-P1iwvQMQ8hX4zl-02X8fUSow5yrbmRYW_MGKVl6LaBabh455zce7XOrAAYDQcSGHjAiwPVUnNjX0j2LMmUOQi0MASwLfBo5KvFnqBTkMdUTYW_xRb4a6UrOY5Z_Yi82QQw4Rvl6HUEAeFld91uakhSOhLqYZ_y_8YEDxCTrCFwjB5H/w400-h225/Wal-Mart%20e-book%20Coming%20Attractions.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Wait, what?<br /></i></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p></p> <p></p><p>So, just in time for Christmas, here are the links where you may find some of our other books, but can always find that particular one:</p><p>Smashwords (naturally): </p><p><a href="https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914">https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914 </a><br /></p><p>(There's a dashing photo of me in my turnout gear on the page ... but the lack of a beard indicates it's an old one.) <br /></p><p><br /></p><p>Apple Books (which actually has five of our books):</p><p><a href="https://books.apple.com/us/author/mark-r-hunter/id1025271801">https://books.apple.com/us/author/mark-r-hunter/id1025271801</a></p><p> </p><p>Barnes and Noble, of course, has a handful:</p><p><a href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/%22Mark%20R.%20Hunter%22">https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/%22Mark%20R.%20Hunter%22</a></p><p> </p><p> Gardners Extended Retail!</p><p><a href="https://www.gardners.com/Search/KeywordAnonymous/eBook?Keyword=mark+r.+hunter&searchPreferences=0&fq=14123">https://www.gardners.com/Search/KeywordAnonymous/eBook?Keyword=mark+r.+hunter&searchPreferences=0&fq=14123</a><br /></p><p>No, I've never heard of them, either. I was able to find several of my books there, but you have to have a free account with them to view the details.</p><p> </p><p>Kobo has a few:</p><p><a href="https://www.kobo.com/us/en/author/mark-r-hunter">https://www.kobo.com/us/en/author/mark-r-hunter+</a></p><p> </p><p>Then there's Odilo, of course:</p><p><a href="https://marketplace.odilo.us/opac/?query=9780463759561">https://marketplace.odilo.us/opac/#index</a><br /></p><p> Never heard of them; but if you search for Mark R. Hunter you'll find <i>Coming Attractions </i>and our <i>Images of America</i> book.</p><p><br /></p><p>And naturally, there's Scribd!</p><p><a href="https://www.scribd.com/author/340537901/Mark-R-Hunter"><strike>https://www.scribd.com/author/340537901/Mark-R-Hunter</strike></a></p><p>I actually <i>have</i>
heard of them, but never mind. Apparently they've sent all their ebooks
to a place called Everand, <a href="https://www.everand.com/author/340537901/Mark-R-Hunter">https://www.everand.com/author/340537901/Mark-R-Hunter</a>, which is a
subscription service.</p><p><br /></p><p>So, when you add to those our Amazon account:</p><p><a href="https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO" target="_blank">https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO</a></p><p>(Amazon is why some of our stuff doesn't get around to other places--long story.)</p><p> </p><p>And our website:</p><p><a href="http://www.markrhunter.com/">http://www.markrhunter.com/</a><br /></p><p> </p><p>You have ... a list!</p><p>I've also shown up on a lot of those sketchy sites where I never put it; the internet equivalent of some guy selling books out of the back of his van. "Hey, mister ... check out this romantic comedy. I also have watches and used wallets."</p><p>Honestly, the list is partially for me, so I remember, but I'll take sales wherever I can get them. Have any of you encountered any of our books elsewhere on the net? Let me know, and I'll add it to the list.</p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX0zflyalBclj_liwCxT9putWL0tGWY9b9oy6tfbrOyc8nNpV7b3F-PG6nXnxQNdV4wfM_7y7exZk0C-JxjngCuHHA6PQOluGtAc5jP0jkvY4lEGMzIk-iDzHCWspDRGD8UGkSGXoPfzTXcmjahFNlgvPKbal5SaO5g-jWQhJd6TxQ0WG1Ca8HHk0jhnmC/s1080/Christmas%20coming%20attractions.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX0zflyalBclj_liwCxT9putWL0tGWY9b9oy6tfbrOyc8nNpV7b3F-PG6nXnxQNdV4wfM_7y7exZk0C-JxjngCuHHA6PQOluGtAc5jP0jkvY4lEGMzIk-iDzHCWspDRGD8UGkSGXoPfzTXcmjahFNlgvPKbal5SaO5g-jWQhJd6TxQ0WG1Ca8HHk0jhnmC/s320/Christmas%20coming%20attractions.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /> <p></p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<ul type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Amazon:</span></b> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO" target="_blank">https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Barnes & Noble:</span></b> <a href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/%22Mark%20R%20Hunter%22" target="_blank">https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Goodreads:</span></b> <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter">https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Blog: </span></b><a href="https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Website: </span></b><a href="http://www.markrhunter.com/" target="_blank">http://www.markrhunter.com/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Instagram: </span></b><a href="https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Facebook: </span></b><a href="https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Linkedin: </span></b><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/" target="_blank">https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Twitter: </span></b><a href="https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter" target="_blank">https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Youtube: </span></b><a href="https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Substack:</span></b> <a href="https://substack.com/@markrhunter">https://substack.com/@markrhunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans";">Tumblr:</span></b> <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914">https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914</a></li></ul><p> </p><p><i>Remember, if you give books instead of bigger presents, Santa has more room on his sled. Hold out for that second present!</i> <br /></p><p></p><p> <br /></p><br />Mark R Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07685591390353442531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467533615728239939.post-75746519798939470062023-11-10T19:32:00.001-05:002023-11-11T01:19:24.199-05:00Let's Start Christmas Right Now. Seriously.<p> As all fourteen of my regular readers know, I've always had this thing about putting up Christmas decorations, or in any way mentioning Christmas, before Thanksgiving.</p><p>By "thing" I mean seeing anything Christmas related before mid-November would send me into a murderous rage. That's how I got banned from Wal-Mart.<br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFxuePwB6tXVLzHh0XplE6SOaP1rSD8beapiy1-DehoyhX8hcyeyxaFYz-f_dIUC3_ecY3PbNzryVotJDb6lw_TPXgeAd9BuTi_KgSrcc5SWm_ort5bLxDGiTMd1Su71CCan1QKTa142jWjhQC01E0wipz-RgLy3hHrEournIh88njNsDRR2WV_r_pqWqL/s320/ChristmasTooEarly.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="320" data-original-width="271" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFxuePwB6tXVLzHh0XplE6SOaP1rSD8beapiy1-DehoyhX8hcyeyxaFYz-f_dIUC3_ecY3PbNzryVotJDb6lw_TPXgeAd9BuTi_KgSrcc5SWm_ort5bLxDGiTMd1Su71CCan1QKTa142jWjhQC01E0wipz-RgLy3hHrEournIh88njNsDRR2WV_r_pqWqL/s1600/ChristmasTooEarly.jpg" width="271" /></a></div><p> </p><p>I thought, and still think, starting Christmas while people are going down with heat exhaustion cheapens the holiday, and makes it overstay its welcome. I was okay with putting outside lights up early, mind you--as long as they weren't turned on until Thanksgiving weekend.</p><p>So I asked my State and Federal representatives to open a new hunting season: Any lit (or inflated) Christmas decorations seen before Thanksgiving would be open season. Shoot to darken!</p><p>That's how I <i>used </i>to feel.</p><p>Not this year. This year I'm a happy little friggin' elf.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_m3OL9rwcN9IHEP-P1-A2ivKXA0Neg5R393zHluNU4GOJZ9zP-Rz1CDYDB6Hu3RINc4txouSUko0JxbJq9d_YnPzX5Q2d7dwEsEN5M-uiJ-Ixk0cJNa8b0FwaloDyVEzipGZkvtUlRfv1IS650e8FVAW8Gp9H0v_QtKN85OjTB7_KJArRfIOC1KLlE6g-/s616/Mark%20elf%20(2).png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="616" data-original-width="387" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_m3OL9rwcN9IHEP-P1-A2ivKXA0Neg5R393zHluNU4GOJZ9zP-Rz1CDYDB6Hu3RINc4txouSUko0JxbJq9d_YnPzX5Q2d7dwEsEN5M-uiJ-Ixk0cJNa8b0FwaloDyVEzipGZkvtUlRfv1IS650e8FVAW8Gp9H0v_QtKN85OjTB7_KJArRfIOC1KLlE6g-/s320/Mark%20elf%20(2).png" width="201" /></a></div><br /> Why? Because 2023 has been crap. In fact, it's been the crappiest of the 2020s, which has been the crappiest decade of the century. I know we're not that far in, but let's face it: A stream of horrible years doesn't make the most horrible less horrible. Someone get me that on a t-shirt.<p></p><p>Deaths, health scares, politics, extremists, the Kardashians are still around ... our dog died and our car broke down. That's a country song, man.</p><p>So, as the song goes: We need a little Christmas, today. Get started. Brighten up everything--make those electric meters spin. We need the color, the lights, the cheer, even the songs. Yes, I know Christmas is too commercial these days.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSN7edBtHWqiGM9MAC0U7vw3ig1g7XFNCaZdjFoGpJ7Ie6jrnhFvPZQKsUl9OTeoQOf_Z9rJOMKu5YWvZQVSTYKnVAfY2_V-kQ9BtmG9DDjtd-7q6tUKjfpRA2tk8QEuJOMrsoGJ0NONgvcApo9Hv8sqQJLLbhX6WOjQCfJI3sIvC0iCZk4_cPiNgDHCXr/s1080/Christmas%20No%20Campfire%20Girls.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="1080" height="237" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSN7edBtHWqiGM9MAC0U7vw3ig1g7XFNCaZdjFoGpJ7Ie6jrnhFvPZQKsUl9OTeoQOf_Z9rJOMKu5YWvZQVSTYKnVAfY2_V-kQ9BtmG9DDjtd-7q6tUKjfpRA2tk8QEuJOMrsoGJ0NONgvcApo9Hv8sqQJLLbhX6WOjQCfJI3sIvC0iCZk4_cPiNgDHCXr/s320/Christmas%20No%20Campfire%20Girls.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p> </p><p>But so what? <i>You </i>don't have to be commercial. I mean, yeah, you should buy books to give out as Christmas presents, but otherwise don't worry about it: Just kick back and relax some between now and the 25th (of <i>next</i> month). Make the time. Watch a Christmas movie, curl up on the couch listening to Christmas music (ahem--while reading a good book, or one of mine), do whatever it takes to bring down the stress level a little. There's no law against it. I know, because my Representatives wouldn't return my calls.</p><p>Merry Christmas! Party early, and keep those lights on after the holidays, right up until the Santa Mafia shows up to get you committed.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg1rRb8jSIw0DQjm3qiDDHK8C6PcwxXYKPEYcIz6hbstsb-ff29XBY4xbrSRCLPyvXwwSs3BLVsztY1LIP5fyzaZE8Gdmh9acI4XwbK1wfPH4gZAvp_thv5_LhL9f7X_2xDaU7T4v7HxkQtiuKhtloDEfUWptZzNjT1ef6N5FJtZ9l3FV-1CKB2bhE-nA3/s2048/Santa%20Club%20at%20125th.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg1rRb8jSIw0DQjm3qiDDHK8C6PcwxXYKPEYcIz6hbstsb-ff29XBY4xbrSRCLPyvXwwSs3BLVsztY1LIP5fyzaZE8Gdmh9acI4XwbK1wfPH4gZAvp_thv5_LhL9f7X_2xDaU7T4v7HxkQtiuKhtloDEfUWptZzNjT1ef6N5FJtZ9l3FV-1CKB2bhE-nA3/s320/Santa%20Club%20at%20125th.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p>The Santas are just grumpy because they have to work through the holidays.</p><p><br /></p><p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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mso-font-kerning:1.5pt;
mso-fareast-language:ZH-CN;
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</p><ul type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Amazon:</span></strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><a href="https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO" target="_blank"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO</span></a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Barnes
& Noble:</span></strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><a href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/%22Mark%20R%20Hunter%22" target="_blank"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark
R Hunter"</span></a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Goodreads:</span></strong><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter">https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Blog: </span></strong><a href="https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/</span></a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Website: </span></strong><a href="http://www.markrhunter.com/" target="_blank"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">http://www.markrhunter.com/</span></a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Instagram: </span></strong><a href="https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/" target="_blank"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/</span></a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Facebook: </span></strong><a href="https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914" target="_blank"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914</span></a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Linkedin: </span></strong><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/" target="_blank"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/</span></a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Twitter: </span></strong><a href="https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter" target="_blank"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter</span></a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Youtube: </span></strong><a href="https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter" target="_blank"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter</span></a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Substack:</span></strong><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><a href="https://substack.com/@markrhunter">https://substack.com/@markrhunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; 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</p><p> <i>Remember: Every time a book gets rung up, an author gets his wings.</i></p><p><i> </i></p><p><i></i></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrV7PYvfSw7L1eD_v7ciPv1rIUboh_um89VmvUeC6Q3e8Fv2bNFH92W-AC9TULWChFN9HkpKHjdXfu38YM25_OYJIvSkawGu61ICGCLSdcXZgEcFfMoXiEl5pGNB79EkUKz9sP7vYDlQ6oU1u5gx7FepSxxMQ1muwOwOvj4O9iyS9jvLJZdrQSKeWpNeOQ/s1080/Christmas%20coming%20attractions.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrV7PYvfSw7L1eD_v7ciPv1rIUboh_um89VmvUeC6Q3e8Fv2bNFH92W-AC9TULWChFN9HkpKHjdXfu38YM25_OYJIvSkawGu61ICGCLSdcXZgEcFfMoXiEl5pGNB79EkUKz9sP7vYDlQ6oU1u5gx7FepSxxMQ1muwOwOvj4O9iyS9jvLJZdrQSKeWpNeOQ/s320/Christmas%20coming%20attractions.jpg" width="320" /></a></i></div><i><br /> </i> <br /><p></p><p><br /></p>Mark R Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07685591390353442531noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467533615728239939.post-50293267333839789312023-11-07T20:33:00.003-05:002023-11-07T20:36:22.084-05:00Hoosier Hysterical--because we could all use a humor break<p> History can be funny, even if it makes history teachers roll over in
their graves (hopefully not while they’re still alive). In <i>Hoosier Hysterical, </i>Mark and Emily
Hunter tour Indiana in an off-the-wall, Indy 500-style race though the
past, from Paleo-Indians through the Northwest Territory, to the gas in
Gas City.<br /><br /><a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.markrhunter.com/HoosierHysterical.html" href="http://www.markrhunter.com/HoosierHysterical.html">http://www.markrhunter.com/HoosierHysterical.html</a><br /><br />Along
the way we encounter killers, heroes, trivia, and of course, Johnny
Appleseed. It’s as American as sugar cream pie—Indiana’s state pie,
thanks to the efforts of a hard-working state General Assembly. So sit
back and have some fun … and if you accidentally learn something along
the way, that's just gravy ... on breaded tenderloin.<br /> <br /><br />You can order Hoosier Hysterical and our other books in the regular places:<br /><br /><a data-cke-saved-href="http://markrhunter.com/" href="http://markrhunter.com/">http://markrhunter.com/</a><br /><a data-cke-saved-href="https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO" href="https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO">https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO</a><br /><a data-cke-saved-href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"" href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"">https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"</a><br /><a data-cke-saved-href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter" href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter">https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter<br /><br /><br /></a><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDYirdbAgAGeWo7gyVF-Opk5e3qfQhNnTSX3FuEzAZ_rf71o6oDXtRCrm37Ht19QMXbozipnN02RZa6UNepFkSij4OZ7tM5I9RSUb6TyT8eOf0P2YWl_-9kGXqzxu_0tWS-ArHql3zSZVJjcZK2Fb_3UZkeVp1so6cfx4Zf9fxbFt3eDIFQH_Koa6CtHUZ/s1080/Fall%20Hoosier%20Hysterical.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDYirdbAgAGeWo7gyVF-Opk5e3qfQhNnTSX3FuEzAZ_rf71o6oDXtRCrm37Ht19QMXbozipnN02RZa6UNepFkSij4OZ7tM5I9RSUb6TyT8eOf0P2YWl_-9kGXqzxu_0tWS-ArHql3zSZVJjcZK2Fb_3UZkeVp1so6cfx4Zf9fxbFt3eDIFQH_Koa6CtHUZ/s320/Fall%20Hoosier%20Hysterical.png" width="320" /></a></div><br />Mark R Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07685591390353442531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467533615728239939.post-35408909374581305802023-11-02T17:00:00.002-04:002023-11-02T17:00:00.152-04:00Can Anyone In This Time Read Romanian?<p> Okay, so check this out: As I'm sure all of you remember, back in 2021 I had a short story, "Everybody Knows Your Name", published in East Of the Web, an online fiction magazine. The original short story is here:</p><p><a href="http://www.eastoftheweb.com/short-stories/UBooks/EverKnow1183.shtml">http://www.eastoftheweb.com/short-stories/UBooks/EverKnow1183.shtml</a></p><p></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.eastoftheweb.com/short-stories/UBooks/EverKnow1183.shtml"><span style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="400" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0kjk5tEJU6tSDrMDqM5ABd6yXtdtlRsCuObRfUzWvBZ91llDT-2ZI1gq9Ggww-tT9LsJY8p1CveXfzhOXkQWZwAziW5Fou3bfrN9xziEo6SJUOhSmITBaY7wrdk13tj1JF0OJPvKT4d1aaB0pc0IP0Ff1K8Ga-dSEy2x4ysDiUUHw52mDDWd9GgWIYLcn/s320/c_EverKnow1183_ip_cov.jpg" width="213" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p></p><p>And the post I made about it is here:</p><p><a href="https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/2021/01/new-short-story-everybody-knows-your.html">https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/2021/01/new-short-story-everybody-knows-your.html</a></p><p>Not that you need to read the blog post, but I try to be thorough. Anyway, the story has been translated and republished ... in Romanian.</p><p>It has TOO. I have proof:</p><p><a href="https://fictiuni.ro/toti-iti-stiu-numele-mark-r-hunter/">https://fictiuni.ro/toti-iti-stiu-numele-mark-r-hunter/</a></p><p></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2jmsL99vzrX9qA21UuqTKjnGpaznor2Ir_bMpC2xvrZvb-dZvIws9X0JWnss5YmrWGU35ps1mXZav_3A0_ijpwXcqO-azbeHe0zCYa65_cRqMGsltCqpZF1HpJTI7MGi6dQ0PHRZ9V8sBSb8tvVCVWh-EZUAoiCiWigq7gw47aUfIrr_XWWjmDo6IfC0A/s424/370058141_869178094473501_2460215584500998163_n.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="424" data-original-width="280" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2jmsL99vzrX9qA21UuqTKjnGpaznor2Ir_bMpC2xvrZvb-dZvIws9X0JWnss5YmrWGU35ps1mXZav_3A0_ijpwXcqO-azbeHe0zCYa65_cRqMGsltCqpZF1HpJTI7MGi6dQ0PHRZ9V8sBSb8tvVCVWh-EZUAoiCiWigq7gw47aUfIrr_XWWjmDo6IfC0A/w264-h400/370058141_869178094473501_2460215584500998163_n.jpg" width="264" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Amazingly, my name in Romanian is the same as my name in English.</i></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></td></tr></tbody></table><br /> Ha! Told you. The Senior Editor, a very nice man named <span><span>Nicu Gecse, asked if I would allow the story on</span></span> <span><span><a href="http://fictiuni.ro">fictiuni.ro</a> for their tenth anniversary issue. As you might imagined, I checked to make sure it's the real deal, and it is--they've even published an Isaac Asimov story.</span></span><p></p><p><span><span>"Everyone Knows Your Name" is the story of a time traveler whose first trip--as tends to happen with time travelers--doesn't go at all the way he planned. I love time travel stories, and I tried to make this one original, and ... maybe I succeeded. If not, I'll just go back to 1955 and try again.</span></span></p><p><span><span>So you people taking Romanian to get that language minor, here you go--enjoy! Of course, the story won't be a true classic until it's translated into Klingon.</span></span></p><p><span><span><br /></span></span></p><p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><ul type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Amazon:</span></b><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><a href="https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO" target="_blank"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO</span></a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Barnes & Noble:</span></b><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><a href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/%22Mark%20R%20Hunter%22" target="_blank"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark
R Hunter"</span></a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Goodreads:</span></b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter">https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Blog: </span></b><a href="https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/</span></a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Website: </span></b><a href="http://www.markrhunter.com/" target="_blank"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">http://www.markrhunter.com/</span></a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Instagram: </span></b><a href="https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/" target="_blank"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/</span></a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Facebook: </span></b><a href="https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914" target="_blank"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914</span></a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Linkedin: </span></b><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/" target="_blank"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/</span></a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Twitter: </span></b><a href="https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter" target="_blank"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter</span></a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Youtube: </span></b><a href="https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter" target="_blank"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter</span></a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Substack:</span></b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><a href="https://substack.com/@markrhunter">https://substack.com/@markrhunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><b><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Tumblr:</span></b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><a href="https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914">https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914</a></li></ul>
<p><i>Remember, if you ever go time traveling, take a good translation book with you.</i> <br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Mark R Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07685591390353442531noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467533615728239939.post-44569197194971468612023-10-28T17:30:00.002-04:002023-10-28T17:30:00.138-04:00Halloween Costumes for Fending Off the Cold<p> <span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>There’s
probably no better timed holiday than Halloween. After all, it comes
just before the two most frightening times on the calendar: Winter, and
elections.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It’s
hardly surprising, then, that one popular Halloween mask is any famous
politician. Some years ago I went out as a Senator,
stopped all the other Trick-Or-Treaters, and collected 28% of their
candy.<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span>The problem is,</span> half the people don’t
recognize political figures, and the other half get too scared.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">So my criteria for choosing a costume: Warmth. It’s not unheard
of here to have snow by the end of
October. Any
Hoosier parent will tell you the main task in designing their kid’s
costume is incorporating a heavy coat and snow boots. Dressing as an
astronaut is very popular.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>I
stopped celebrating Halloween after realizing I can just go to the
store, buy all the candy I want, turn off the porch light and eat it
inside, in the warmth.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEd-3tQvGXqQoo5Ud0r1-u0_AXqCZWn1yWCfnaPxXnnV0dCOlNH8V0X2RjHNw9t9045mkBtfDsnh-6qDV3VbjrQ4cd95z953P3bOqucjBOtGqtgRRNNifCc36Y-ZwD1S7jAona7tkl2GZQmW8CID2QsCNjv4QLKnZJd8YtcKndcuxchRktooZs6i4F5AZp/s1543/Mark's%20new%20gear%204-3-12%20corrected.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1543" data-original-width="1347" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEd-3tQvGXqQoo5Ud0r1-u0_AXqCZWn1yWCfnaPxXnnV0dCOlNH8V0X2RjHNw9t9045mkBtfDsnh-6qDV3VbjrQ4cd95z953P3bOqucjBOtGqtgRRNNifCc36Y-ZwD1S7jAona7tkl2GZQmW8CID2QsCNjv4QLKnZJd8YtcKndcuxchRktooZs6i4F5AZp/s320/Mark's%20new%20gear%204-3-12%20corrected.jpg" width="279" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Yes, I know--but I already spent one Halloween in that outfit, and never got any candy.<br /></i></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">No human can produce a Halloween more frightening than
staring another Midwest winter in its frostbitten face. So those times when forced to go out for Halloween, I dressed as an Eskimo (These days I'd be an </span><span>Inuit, or Yupik).</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> Once, to mix it up, I went as that kid Kenny from <i>South Park</i>,
even though it killed me. He dresses as an Eskimo. I still wasn't warm –
an entire calendar worth of Playmates of the Year couldn’t warm me up
in autumn or winter –<span> </span>but at least I tried.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">My wife loves Halloween--it’s one of her few faults.
She refused to marry me until I agreed to go annually to my brother’s
Halloween parties, which were sadly held outside. Usually I hovered near his wood burning
stove in the garage, especially after Emily decided I'd used up my Eskimo
turns and had to try something new.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">One year we went as zombies. We attended the Zombie Walk in Kendallville, shuffled <span> </span>to
a cemetery for a photo op, and then, just for fun, walked into a
grocery store and demanded bran. The clerk said, “Last year
you were way scarier as Dick Cheney”.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj757ujNjqa69pRyL0xWVyVxWLxoWoWP6oubBbIVyjHrxui-ZDZEblC970jD_wcpP5hRNb6_FE5Au4COXwbDj66oXV5NGkPYPOJm-UNJWMwleIjBCiAPiK5Uegx5uqkbZrM2AvOeOOu97NI24j3nnnqGdhfOqZ-j1xDjlNjJpdMwuWFFxlponU3Z1Kw_EXt/s213/Mark%20Emi%20Zombies.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="159" data-original-width="213" height="159" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj757ujNjqa69pRyL0xWVyVxWLxoWoWP6oubBbIVyjHrxui-ZDZEblC970jD_wcpP5hRNb6_FE5Au4COXwbDj66oXV5NGkPYPOJm-UNJWMwleIjBCiAPiK5Uegx5uqkbZrM2AvOeOOu97NI24j3nnnqGdhfOqZ-j1xDjlNjJpdMwuWFFxlponU3Z1Kw_EXt/s1600/Mark%20Emi%20Zombies.jpg" width="213" /></a></div><br /> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">We tried to do costumes on the cheap, because I’m cheap. That
gave me two possibilities, both wearable with insulted
long underwear:</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">My
adopted brother Martin gave me bags of hand-me-down clothes. Being that
I’m a small town white person and he’s a black guy from Fort Wayne
(which is big city by <i>my</i> standards), we didn’t have the
same fashion sense, but see above about me being cheap.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Anyway,
I found a couple of items that I’m fairly sure he threw in just to mess
with me. One was a uniquely loud puffy shirt, the other a pair of
oversized parachute pants that buttoned all the way down the side. I
refuse to believe he ever wore these things in public.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I could go to Halloween as a stereotypical 70’s
disco black guy, or as a clown. While I’ll never be politically correct,
we all know I’m not brave/dumb enough to tackle the former.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">The
second choice was something my mother bought for me, back when she
(correctly) thought I needed to get fit. It was designed
to hold in body heat and moisture while you exercise, apparently under
the assumption that you’ll sweat yourself healthy. It’s like a portable
sauna. I used it once on the treadmill, and lost twelve pounds in thirty
minutes. That day I could have gone trick-or-treating as a zombie
without needing any makeup, assuming I could walk in a straight line,
which I couldn’t.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">It was basically
an all silver track suit, neck to toe. A little silver makeup, aluminum
foil hat, and – tah-dah! The Tin Woodman. Or a space alien.</span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="https://www.comicbookreligion.com/img/t/i/Tin_Woodman.jpg" src="https://www.comicbookreligion.com/img/t/i/Tin_Woodman.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Look out! Space alien!<br /></i></td></tr></tbody></table><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">That's what I'll choose if I ever go again: Any candy I ate would sweat out of me by the time I made it home. Plus, anything that reflects that much body heat back is bound to
keep me warm, no matter how cold it gets outside. Since my one and only
goal from October through March is staying warm, I could celebrate
Halloween for months … even if the upcoming political campaign
leaves me cold.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">And if that doesn’t work, the Eskimo costume is standing by.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
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</p><ul type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Amazon:</span></strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><a href="https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO" target="_blank"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO</span></a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Barnes
& Noble:</span></strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><a href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/%22Mark%20R%20Hunter%22" target="_blank"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark
R Hunter"</span></a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Goodreads:</span></strong><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter">https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Blog: </span></strong><a href="https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/</span></a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Website: </span></strong><a href="http://www.markrhunter.com/" target="_blank"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">http://www.markrhunter.com/</span></a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Instagram: </span></strong><a href="https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/" target="_blank"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/</span></a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Facebook: </span></strong><a href="https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914" target="_blank"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914</span></a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Linkedin: </span></strong><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/" target="_blank"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/</span></a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Twitter: </span></strong><a href="https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter" target="_blank"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter</span></a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Youtube: </span></strong><a href="https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter" target="_blank"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter</span></a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Substack:</span></strong><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><a href="https://substack.com/@markrhunter">https://substack.com/@markrhunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Tumblr:</span></strong><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><a href="https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914">https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914</a></li></ul><p><i>Remember, everyone who doesn't read is risking a visit from Edgar Allan Poe.</i> <br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></p>Mark R Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07685591390353442531noreply@blogger.com0Albion, IN 46701, USA41.3956043 -85.424424113.085370463821157 -120.5806741 69.705838136178841 -50.268174099999996tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467533615728239939.post-44380086493146771112023-10-26T15:02:00.000-04:002023-10-26T15:02:22.928-04:00I Was a Big Time TV Star For Ten Minutes<p> My interview with Eric Olson of 21Alive's "21 Country" segment went
pretty well, other than that TV cameras are really good at picking up
bald spots. Here's the link:<br /><br /></p><p><a _fcksavedurl="https://www.21alivenews.com/2023/10/26/21country-haunted-noble-county/" href="https://www.21alivenews.com/2023/10/26/21country-haunted-noble-county/">https://www.21alivenews.com/2023/10/26/21country-haunted-noble-county/</a></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwwpTNvyvBxYFX5CylU9Eih1dgS5VrT6YL4XywR7boT-GSnIm5VHcUlOA2pNZ2O3Ii6uMegm2qhg1qre5zNhgJqCsq0OYMP7kEOgL8zfV9gMr9bZWE7tLH3VmmOtLP1JbkZb-tksbHDt9oX33haXbLBB0HZt7XSM_oiim9zKrRF3l0-NUIoOg2mYis_Uz-/s1280/21interview.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwwpTNvyvBxYFX5CylU9Eih1dgS5VrT6YL4XywR7boT-GSnIm5VHcUlOA2pNZ2O3Ii6uMegm2qhg1qre5zNhgJqCsq0OYMP7kEOgL8zfV9gMr9bZWE7tLH3VmmOtLP1JbkZb-tksbHDt9oX33haXbLBB0HZt7XSM_oiim9zKrRF3l0-NUIoOg2mYis_Uz-/w400-h225/21interview.jpg" width="400" /></a></div> <p></p><p>Thanks
to Eric, who's interviewed me three times now since I first got
published in 2011. (I believe the last time was 2017.) I didn't think
about it when he contacted me, but interviewing someone writing a book
called "Haunted Noble County" pretty well fits in with the season,
doesn't it?<br /><br />Now I have to write the darned thing.</p><p>I'm actually progressing well on the research, and I've written some of the text. I'm running behind on going out to actually talk to people due to some ongoing time and health issues, but catching up is my middle name. (My middle name is actually Ketchup. Long story.)</p><p><br /><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2Vr6ciDPf5H9GXCpbh4HE_mNaCdDP2pmZBZwxvzjIZ3E5nfG7gPeQXsDYdCPAwSBbjpzKZ98SaHDnQ3EeSqRzn1Sd_7FBsaXqB59PTPnvfjPVT_CtVrkp_KLXWpWDGd4XOsjyQ1oi40YzqN6Oga5Bc22XB7ghN4th_liVN6I8hSNklO8GeBKr4dq7GEcM/s1280/21interview2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2Vr6ciDPf5H9GXCpbh4HE_mNaCdDP2pmZBZwxvzjIZ3E5nfG7gPeQXsDYdCPAwSBbjpzKZ98SaHDnQ3EeSqRzn1Sd_7FBsaXqB59PTPnvfjPVT_CtVrkp_KLXWpWDGd4XOsjyQ1oi40YzqN6Oga5Bc22XB7ghN4th_liVN6I8hSNklO8GeBKr4dq7GEcM/w320-h180/21interview2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><ul type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Amazon:</span></strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><a href="https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO" target="_blank"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO</span></a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Barnes & Noble:</span></strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><a href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/%22Mark%20R%20Hunter%22" target="_blank"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark
R Hunter"</span></a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Goodreads:</span></strong><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter">https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter</a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Blog: </span></strong><a href="https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/</span></a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Website: </span></strong><a href="http://www.markrhunter.com/" target="_blank"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">http://www.markrhunter.com/</span></a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Instagram: </span></strong><a href="https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/" target="_blank"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/</span></a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Facebook: </span></strong><a href="https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914" target="_blank"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914</span></a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Linkedin: </span></strong><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/" target="_blank"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/</span></a></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-vertical-align-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;"><strong><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Twitter: </span></strong><a href="https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter" target="_blank"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter</span></a></li></ul>
<p><i>Remember, not reading can lead to your being haunted by a dead author. They smell like ink and desperation.<br /></i></p><p><i> </i></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfBAHhx4-8ap2HPxUx6Rc6ILTrRaZlwUEGuKXWgphyphenhyphenxFW5NC02SIZ6QnJypwD-ZNG2h0FwkVFN6XsieKQkJqnnnC1gBaGIXBSyZha0scCg4lKavHwrPHDvSyEtDs2hPr767jaLWThDVAJz4CYq4jMtv0eBLX3AW51SE0j7TVrFhFwvAElBQeq0a_vY2R14/s1280/21interview3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfBAHhx4-8ap2HPxUx6Rc6ILTrRaZlwUEGuKXWgphyphenhyphenxFW5NC02SIZ6QnJypwD-ZNG2h0FwkVFN6XsieKQkJqnnnC1gBaGIXBSyZha0scCg4lKavHwrPHDvSyEtDs2hPr767jaLWThDVAJz4CYq4jMtv0eBLX3AW51SE0j7TVrFhFwvAElBQeq0a_vY2R14/w400-h225/21interview3.jpg" width="400" /></a></i></div><i><br /></i><p></p><p><i> </i><br /></p><p><br /></p>Mark R Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07685591390353442531noreply@blogger.com0