It's been awhile since I had time to write fanfiction, but I've received an award nomination for a Buffy the Vampire Slayer fic I wrote earlier. She Would be Thirteen is a Xander-centric story, set about a year after the end of the TV series, and you can find it here:
http://good--evil.livejournal.com/176650.html
Thanks so much to whoever nominated me in the "That Old Gang Of Mine" category over at the Wicked Awards! On their LiveJournal site you can read lots of other excellent stories, in various fandoms, that have been nominated:
http://wicked-awards.livejournal.com/21528.html
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Irene and Emily,
Just passing through with two quick things. First, Hurricane Irene is "only" a category 1 hurricane -- but moving very slowly, with hurricane force winds that are likely to last for up to a full day and strong storm surges. If your area goes under any kind of special advisory or evacuation order, take heed and do what it says; the emergency services may be unable to respond if something goes wrong during the storm, so if it looks like you may need to get out, get out. This is going to leave a huge mess behind with blocked roads, flooding, structural damage, and no power for days, and my gut feeling is that Long Island will be especially hard hit. (No, I don't know why -- that's why they call it a gut feeling. But the whole East Coast is under the gun.)
Second, Emily is an intern for IPFW's English department this year, and she's asking around for advice about what people would like to see in an English and Linguistics Department newsletter. The original post is here:
http://strangexgirl.livejournal.com/131925.html
However, because so many people without LJ accounts seem to have trouble commenting on posts, here's what she said for anyone who wants me to pass an idea along:
If you were reading the English & Linguistics department newletter from your University, what super-awesome thing would you be all googly-eyed over if you saw it in there?
I'm in charge of my uni's newsletter this semester, you see. And I want to do something more awesome than the usual crossword puzzle of 'interesting' words (not that there's anything wrong with crosswords - people that love them, please do not verbaly fillet me). I already have a nice list of story/content ideas, including at least one that gives the linguistics side a little more love, but I figured with all the writer-y and university-y people I have on LJ ...
I'm not gonna lie, it's pretty intimidating looking at the blank template knowing I only have 3 sections of 'must-have' in there, and only one of those that's static. It's also awesome though. I hope that by putting a serious effort into it, I can make a good newsletter that will be utilized by future interns... and have something snazzy for my portfolio.
Second, Emily is an intern for IPFW's English department this year, and she's asking around for advice about what people would like to see in an English and Linguistics Department newsletter. The original post is here:
http://strangexgirl.livejournal.com/131925.html
However, because so many people without LJ accounts seem to have trouble commenting on posts, here's what she said for anyone who wants me to pass an idea along:
If you were reading the English & Linguistics department newletter from your University, what super-awesome thing would you be all googly-eyed over if you saw it in there?
I'm in charge of my uni's newsletter this semester, you see. And I want to do something more awesome than the usual crossword puzzle of 'interesting' words (not that there's anything wrong with crosswords - people that love them, please do not verbaly fillet me). I already have a nice list of story/content ideas, including at least one that gives the linguistics side a little more love, but I figured with all the writer-y and university-y people I have on LJ ...
I'm not gonna lie, it's pretty intimidating looking at the blank template knowing I only have 3 sections of 'must-have' in there, and only one of those that's static. It's also awesome though. I hope that by putting a serious effort into it, I can make a good newsletter that will be utilized by future interns... and have something snazzy for my portfolio.
Storm Chaser Shorts to be released in May, 2012
I'm off to spend the next several days getting my home ready for a refinancing appraisal -- and if you've followed how busy I've been, you know why it will take several days.
Meanwhile, I'm officially announcing what many of you already know: In May, 2012, Whiskey Creek Press will release Storm Chaser Shorts, a collection of short stories featuring the characters from Storm Chaser. The 14,000 word work features 10 stories, and will be available as an e-book only -- so save space on your e-readers/phones/computers/whatever the heck else someone comes up with between now and then!Here's the blurb that sealed the deal for me:
Just like the weather, a person’s story changes all the time. Sometime it’s a romance, sometimes a comedy, and when things go badly it can be a fine line between action-adventure and tragedy.
Storm Chaser Shorts follows two converging stories. One involves the family and friends of Indiana State Trooper Chance Hamlin, who struggles to defend his hometown of Hurricane and his family from all manner of threats – whether they want him to or not. The other follows disaster photographer Allie Craine and those pulled into the wake of her passing, as she’s tailed by the shadowy and disaster prone Luther Magee.
Seven stories are set before, and three after, the events of Storm Chaser. Like the weather – and life – the tales are diverse, ranging from humor and adventure to what may be downright mystical.
After all, life with a Storm Chaser is as diverse as the weather.
Storm Chaser is still available through amazon.com, amazon.com.uk, fictionwise.com, whiskeycreekpress.com, and markrhunter.com., and in print on my website, at the Albion New Era and Churubusco News newspaper offices, and at The Bookmark in Fort Wayne. Here's a new review I just stumbled across:
http://longandshortreviews.blogspot.com/2011/08/storm-chaser-by-mark-r-hunter.html
And I found the video Emily made for the book here:
http://wn.com/Chaser_(novel)
Yes, I Googled myself. Don't mock me! As of today, Storm Chaser is still listed as #5 on the Whiskey Creek Press top 10 list.
Meanwhile, I'm officially announcing what many of you already know: In May, 2012, Whiskey Creek Press will release Storm Chaser Shorts, a collection of short stories featuring the characters from Storm Chaser. The 14,000 word work features 10 stories, and will be available as an e-book only -- so save space on your e-readers/phones/computers/whatever the heck else someone comes up with between now and then!Here's the blurb that sealed the deal for me:
Just like the weather, a person’s story changes all the time. Sometime it’s a romance, sometimes a comedy, and when things go badly it can be a fine line between action-adventure and tragedy.
Storm Chaser Shorts follows two converging stories. One involves the family and friends of Indiana State Trooper Chance Hamlin, who struggles to defend his hometown of Hurricane and his family from all manner of threats – whether they want him to or not. The other follows disaster photographer Allie Craine and those pulled into the wake of her passing, as she’s tailed by the shadowy and disaster prone Luther Magee.
Seven stories are set before, and three after, the events of Storm Chaser. Like the weather – and life – the tales are diverse, ranging from humor and adventure to what may be downright mystical.
After all, life with a Storm Chaser is as diverse as the weather.
Storm Chaser is still available through amazon.com, amazon.com.uk, fictionwise.com, whiskeycreekpress.com, and markrhunter.com., and in print on my website, at the Albion New Era and Churubusco News newspaper offices, and at The Bookmark in Fort Wayne. Here's a new review I just stumbled across:
http://longandshortreviews.blogspot.com/2011/08/storm-chaser-by-mark-r-hunter.html
And I found the video Emily made for the book here:
http://wn.com/Chaser_(novel)
Yes, I Googled myself. Don't mock me! As of today, Storm Chaser is still listed as #5 on the Whiskey Creek Press top 10 list.
Fire Aftermath Brings Out the Best
SLIGHTLY OFF THE MARK
I’ve thought a lot about people over the years, and they haven’t always been good thoughts. I work, after all, in a business where I often see people at their worst, doing their worst. Actually, two businesses: the emergency services and journalism. In both cases, you don’t usually hear from people unless something is going horribly wrong.
Then, last week as you read this, my sister’s house caught fire.
Which is only half true. That’s the most important thing, but it’s not the only important thing. “It’s only stuff. It can be replaced.” Usually, yes, but it’s not easy to replace, and it’s not fast or cheap. My sister’s family is in the salvage phase, but it appears they’ve lost almost everything, and will be forced out of their home for at least three months.
(My brother-in-law, an air personality at Willie 103.5 who DJ’s at live events, lost a vinyl record collection. My sister has been collecting Pfaltzgraff in the tea rose pattern since high school – I have no idea what that means, but I know how I’d feel if I lost my old Matchbox fire truck collection.)
It’s not just clothes we’re talking about, but photos, books, electronics, toys, school supplies (with school starting in less than a week), paperwork, bedding, toiletries … you get the idea. Anyone who suggests it’s not a big deal that they lost “only” stuff has never had to deal with starting over again from zero.
Imagine being in your home for many years, having three small kids, and one day waking up to find you’re homeless and your belongings are gone. All gone.
Apparently a lot of people can imagine that … which brings me back to people being awesome.
I’ve seen a lot of tragedy over the years; I’m in the tragedy business. While you do get the occasional jerk that reacts badly, or takes advantage, or is at least uncaring, they’re few and far between.
You might expect instead expressions of concern and caring, additions to prayer lists and, for those who don’t pray, the sending of healing thoughts and good vibes. Don’t ever discount the power of either prayer or mental vibes, which may very well amount to the same thing.
You’d also expect support from friends and relatives: Hugs, donations, sharing, a place to stay and food to eat. Neighbors will show up and do what they can.
Emergency services will control the situation early on, and often stick around to help in the aftermath, to the extent they’re able. The Red Cross will be there, along with other service organizations; that’s just what they do.
All this is because people are very cool.
Still, there’s a general feeling in our society today that people don’t care. It’s all you hear on the news, after all: Somebody’s bleeding on the street and people walk over the body, or stop to check the victim’s wallet for cash. Bad people are loud and attention getting, and evil people make the news. Nobody writes articles about the guy who shows up to volunteer for the food bank, or the woman who checks on her elderly next door neighbor, or the people who band together to solve a problem, instead of complain about it. That’s feel-good stuff, and feel-good stuff doesn’t make ratings compared to blood and violence.
But let me tell you what I experienced this week.
My car was stuffed full of donations from people I don’t know.
People I’ve never met are sending toys to my nephews and niece.
Clothes are being mailed to my family from other states.
People I know only through the internet are sending money to my family members, who they may not have even known about before now.
I have a friend in England who’s sending the kids a package and donated money, to a family thousands of miles away. And don’t you dare tell me that, just because we haven’t met face to face, she’s not a friend.
I’ve had a rough week. Not as rough as other family members, of course, but I’m feeling crappy and stressed and tired and all those other things you’d expect to feel when things are already challenging and then your sister’s house burns. I don’t need pessimism right now, and if there’s any miracle here maybe it’s that I got what I did need, right when I needed it: A renewed faith in the human race.
In the end, if you’re going to go through life with any philosophy at all, you have to decide if humans are basically good, or if they’re basically bad. Well, I’ve been back and forth on this issue, and I suppose I will again, but right now my eyes are wide open and I’m seeing a lot. My conclusion is that there’s good and bad in all of us, but when it comes right down to it most of us have more good than bad, and in a crisis the good will come out. Don’t let the bad ones get you down.
‘Cause people are awesome.
People are awesome.
I’ve thought a lot about people over the years, and they haven’t always been good thoughts. I work, after all, in a business where I often see people at their worst, doing their worst. Actually, two businesses: the emergency services and journalism. In both cases, you don’t usually hear from people unless something is going horribly wrong.
Then, last week as you read this, my sister’s house caught fire.
Everyone got out okay, including the pets. It’s important to start with that information, because naturally it’s the first thing people think of. That’s usually followed directly by “No one got hurt – that’s the important thing”.
Which is only half true. That’s the most important thing, but it’s not the only important thing. “It’s only stuff. It can be replaced.” Usually, yes, but it’s not easy to replace, and it’s not fast or cheap. My sister’s family is in the salvage phase, but it appears they’ve lost almost everything, and will be forced out of their home for at least three months.
(My brother-in-law, an air personality at Willie 103.5 who DJ’s at live events, lost a vinyl record collection. My sister has been collecting Pfaltzgraff in the tea rose pattern since high school – I have no idea what that means, but I know how I’d feel if I lost my old Matchbox fire truck collection.)
It’s not just clothes we’re talking about, but photos, books, electronics, toys, school supplies (with school starting in less than a week), paperwork, bedding, toiletries … you get the idea. Anyone who suggests it’s not a big deal that they lost “only” stuff has never had to deal with starting over again from zero.
Imagine being in your home for many years, having three small kids, and one day waking up to find you’re homeless and your belongings are gone. All gone.
Apparently a lot of people can imagine that … which brings me back to people being awesome.
I’ve seen a lot of tragedy over the years; I’m in the tragedy business. While you do get the occasional jerk that reacts badly, or takes advantage, or is at least uncaring, they’re few and far between.
You might expect instead expressions of concern and caring, additions to prayer lists and, for those who don’t pray, the sending of healing thoughts and good vibes. Don’t ever discount the power of either prayer or mental vibes, which may very well amount to the same thing.
You’d also expect support from friends and relatives: Hugs, donations, sharing, a place to stay and food to eat. Neighbors will show up and do what they can.
Emergency services will control the situation early on, and often stick around to help in the aftermath, to the extent they’re able. The Red Cross will be there, along with other service organizations; that’s just what they do.
All this is because people are very cool.
Still, there’s a general feeling in our society today that people don’t care. It’s all you hear on the news, after all: Somebody’s bleeding on the street and people walk over the body, or stop to check the victim’s wallet for cash. Bad people are loud and attention getting, and evil people make the news. Nobody writes articles about the guy who shows up to volunteer for the food bank, or the woman who checks on her elderly next door neighbor, or the people who band together to solve a problem, instead of complain about it. That’s feel-good stuff, and feel-good stuff doesn’t make ratings compared to blood and violence.
But let me tell you what I experienced this week.
My car was stuffed full of donations from people I don’t know.
People I’ve never met are sending toys to my nephews and niece.
Clothes are being mailed to my family from other states.
People I know only through the internet are sending money to my family members, who they may not have even known about before now.
I have a friend in England who’s sending the kids a package and donated money, to a family thousands of miles away. And don’t you dare tell me that, just because we haven’t met face to face, she’s not a friend.
I’ve had a rough week. Not as rough as other family members, of course, but I’m feeling crappy and stressed and tired and all those other things you’d expect to feel when things are already challenging and then your sister’s house burns. I don’t need pessimism right now, and if there’s any miracle here maybe it’s that I got what I did need, right when I needed it: A renewed faith in the human race.
In the end, if you’re going to go through life with any philosophy at all, you have to decide if humans are basically good, or if they’re basically bad. Well, I’ve been back and forth on this issue, and I suppose I will again, but right now my eyes are wide open and I’m seeing a lot. My conclusion is that there’s good and bad in all of us, but when it comes right down to it most of us have more good than bad, and in a crisis the good will come out. Don’t let the bad ones get you down.
‘Cause people are awesome.
Storm Chaser sequel question
In all the unpleasant excitement going on lately, I totally forgot starting a discussion over at my Facebook fan page:
What Storm Chaser character or characters would you like to see more of in a sequel?
https://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=130018377017326&topic=369
I'm open for suggestions because, for reasons of continuity, my original sequel idea isn't going to fit into the planned timeline. I guess that means that if I write a sequel and it's a success, it'll end up the middle part of a trilogy.
What Storm Chaser character or characters would you like to see more of in a sequel?
https://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=130018377017326&topic=369
I'm open for suggestions because, for reasons of continuity, my original sequel idea isn't going to fit into the planned timeline. I guess that means that if I write a sequel and it's a success, it'll end up the middle part of a trilogy.
Since work on my fire department history book has been delayed by some recent real life events, I’ll have time to mull over everyone’s opinions and come up with some ideas; but I will start on the sequel by mid-autumn, if not earlier.
Author Survives Slasher Attack by Fan
Things are coming along for my sister and her family, who spent yesterday going through the debris of their home and trying to find salvageable items. Apparently a restoration company has managed to repair some photos and a family Bible, and it's possible some of their other belongings might have survived, althouigh they'd be badly smoked up. Never underestimate the damaging power of heavy soot.
Thanks to everyone who showed concern, sent good wishes, and donated items and even money as Penny, Chris, and the kids struggle to put their lives back on track. Meanwhile deadlines go on, so here's the story (written before the fire) of my recent encounter with a deranged fan.
Why, yes, there is a story behind this.
But what story? I’ve been practicing various tales that might make me seem less … well … foolish.
Maybe I was trying so save a baby from a tiger. I bounced that idea off friends, who suggested a leopard might be more likely. A black leopard was seen wandering around the area several years ago, escaped or released by its owner – maybe it was still around? Elderly, grouchy, ready to snatch at a guy’s hand?
Another friend suggested I change it up and say I was saving a tiger from a baby. We’ve all seen that kid who the meanest predator would run in terror from.
What really happened was more … well, I already used foolish. Stupid? I used the word stupid several times that night, accompanied by a somewhat stronger word.
There’s an irony in the fact that only a week earlier I wrote a column about all the injuries that happened in the family this summer. I asked my fiancée, Emily, if I’d missed anything; her reply should have been “not yet”. I think I’ll hold that one back a bit longer. After all, summer’s not over.
To start with, I should point out that I was asleep at the time. So, there’s that excuse. Specifically, the alarm went off, and my first action on stumbling out of bed was to reach for the fan.
Those of you with weak stomachs should probably stop reading. Go donate to the Red Cross, instead; at the rate I’m going, I’ll need them before the year is over.
Ordinarily, box fans are equipped with screens, which keep morons from sticking their hands into them while the blades are moving. In addition, box fans come with handles, so you can carry them around without sticking your hands in them. It’s an elegant design. Unfortunately, this particular fan had a television fall on it.
Only in my house does a box fan get crushed by a falling TV.
I don’t like to throw away things. In fact, I still have a powerful window fan that’s so old it actually didn’t come with a screen or handle: just huge metal blades that I’m very careful with.
But it hasn’t had a TV fall on it.
Now, the housing was dented in on our little box fan and the handle torn off, but the blades seemed fine. My thinking: If I could bend the housing back so it didn’t block the blades, I could keep using the thing. Since I’m too cheap for air conditioning, I needed all the fan I could get.
This required removing the screen. Then came hammering, which was kinda fun, after which the blades did indeed turn freely. The problem was, I couldn’t get the screen back on.
But what the heck. I’d just be careful.
When I’m up during warm weather I put fans in every upstairs room, pointing outward. This sucks air into the downstairs, creating a wind tunnel effect that has been known to suck small children right up the stairway.
But when sleeping upstairs I turn the fan inward, to bring cool air into the room. That would be the side with no screen.
When the alarm went off, my subconscious mind apparently leaped to the conclusion that I had to immediately turn the fan around, to cool the downstairs. So I reached out and grabbed the fan.
For three years that fan had no screen or handle, and not once had I touched it without turning it off first. But this time it was on. Top speed.
THWACK THWACK THWACK THWACK!!!!
There was an instant when I wondered what the fan was hitting, then I realized it was hitting my fingers. I pulled my hand out, turned off the fan, then – get this – turned the fan around to point outward. Only then did I think, “Gee … maybe that did some damage.”
It did.
The next thing I remember was standing at the kitchen sink, running water over my fingers and calling myself an idiot, along with a modifier that described what kind of idiot I was … suddenly I’m wondering if the kitchen window was open. I’d sliced up two fingers so badly that I didn’t even realized I’d also cut up a third finger until later. It was ugly.
It was about this time that I woke up enough to think, “I wonder if I can get a column out of this?” Writers must always have their priorities in order.
Unknown to me, Emily had concluded from what I was yelling that I’d sliced off a couple of digits, so I suppose she was pleasantly surprised not to be doing part recovery. She did a great job of first aid, and I’d like to publically apologize for what I said when she poured peroxide over the wounds.
She was also nice enough not to mention the brand new box fans we saw on clearance the day before, when I said “Nah – there’s nothing wrong with the ones we have.”
After awhile we realized I was likely to survive, although as of this writing a fingernail is still questionable. Practicality kicked in and I asked Emily to go check the bed sheets, because I’d seen a couple of drops of blood hit them and I figured they’d need washed. She came back downstairs looking as pale as I did:
“There’s blood splatter up there. It looks like a scene from CSI: Miami, except without the sunglasses.”
What do we learn from situations like this? Well, first, if you’re all stressed out and in adrenalin overload, forget the darn sheets. A couple of hours later, while going to the basement to deal with washing them, Emily fell and sprained her ankle.
The second lesson, then, is to space out your injuries, so there’s someone to take care of whoever’s hurt.
The third lesson is that anything can be turned into a column, especially if you’re on a deadline because you couldn’t type for a few days.
Finally, the most important lesson of all: If you do something really stupid, come up with a better story before anyone else finds out about it.
Oh, and I suppose fan safety is in there somewhere, too.
Thanks to everyone who showed concern, sent good wishes, and donated items and even money as Penny, Chris, and the kids struggle to put their lives back on track. Meanwhile deadlines go on, so here's the story (written before the fire) of my recent encounter with a deranged fan.
SLIGHTLY OFF THE MARK
Okay, so I can type again … not as fast as usual, but I’ve regained the use of my right hand.Why, yes, there is a story behind this.
But what story? I’ve been practicing various tales that might make me seem less … well … foolish.
Maybe I was trying so save a baby from a tiger. I bounced that idea off friends, who suggested a leopard might be more likely. A black leopard was seen wandering around the area several years ago, escaped or released by its owner – maybe it was still around? Elderly, grouchy, ready to snatch at a guy’s hand?
Another friend suggested I change it up and say I was saving a tiger from a baby. We’ve all seen that kid who the meanest predator would run in terror from.
What really happened was more … well, I already used foolish. Stupid? I used the word stupid several times that night, accompanied by a somewhat stronger word.
There’s an irony in the fact that only a week earlier I wrote a column about all the injuries that happened in the family this summer. I asked my fiancée, Emily, if I’d missed anything; her reply should have been “not yet”. I think I’ll hold that one back a bit longer. After all, summer’s not over.
To start with, I should point out that I was asleep at the time. So, there’s that excuse. Specifically, the alarm went off, and my first action on stumbling out of bed was to reach for the fan.
Those of you with weak stomachs should probably stop reading. Go donate to the Red Cross, instead; at the rate I’m going, I’ll need them before the year is over.
Ordinarily, box fans are equipped with screens, which keep morons from sticking their hands into them while the blades are moving. In addition, box fans come with handles, so you can carry them around without sticking your hands in them. It’s an elegant design. Unfortunately, this particular fan had a television fall on it.
Only in my house does a box fan get crushed by a falling TV.
I don’t like to throw away things. In fact, I still have a powerful window fan that’s so old it actually didn’t come with a screen or handle: just huge metal blades that I’m very careful with.
But it hasn’t had a TV fall on it.
Now, the housing was dented in on our little box fan and the handle torn off, but the blades seemed fine. My thinking: If I could bend the housing back so it didn’t block the blades, I could keep using the thing. Since I’m too cheap for air conditioning, I needed all the fan I could get.
This required removing the screen. Then came hammering, which was kinda fun, after which the blades did indeed turn freely. The problem was, I couldn’t get the screen back on.
But what the heck. I’d just be careful.
When I’m up during warm weather I put fans in every upstairs room, pointing outward. This sucks air into the downstairs, creating a wind tunnel effect that has been known to suck small children right up the stairway.
But when sleeping upstairs I turn the fan inward, to bring cool air into the room. That would be the side with no screen.
When the alarm went off, my subconscious mind apparently leaped to the conclusion that I had to immediately turn the fan around, to cool the downstairs. So I reached out and grabbed the fan.
For three years that fan had no screen or handle, and not once had I touched it without turning it off first. But this time it was on. Top speed.
THWACK THWACK THWACK THWACK!!!!
There was an instant when I wondered what the fan was hitting, then I realized it was hitting my fingers. I pulled my hand out, turned off the fan, then – get this – turned the fan around to point outward. Only then did I think, “Gee … maybe that did some damage.”
It did.
The next thing I remember was standing at the kitchen sink, running water over my fingers and calling myself an idiot, along with a modifier that described what kind of idiot I was … suddenly I’m wondering if the kitchen window was open. I’d sliced up two fingers so badly that I didn’t even realized I’d also cut up a third finger until later. It was ugly.
It was about this time that I woke up enough to think, “I wonder if I can get a column out of this?” Writers must always have their priorities in order.
Unknown to me, Emily had concluded from what I was yelling that I’d sliced off a couple of digits, so I suppose she was pleasantly surprised not to be doing part recovery. She did a great job of first aid, and I’d like to publically apologize for what I said when she poured peroxide over the wounds.
She was also nice enough not to mention the brand new box fans we saw on clearance the day before, when I said “Nah – there’s nothing wrong with the ones we have.”
After awhile we realized I was likely to survive, although as of this writing a fingernail is still questionable. Practicality kicked in and I asked Emily to go check the bed sheets, because I’d seen a couple of drops of blood hit them and I figured they’d need washed. She came back downstairs looking as pale as I did:
“There’s blood splatter up there. It looks like a scene from CSI: Miami, except without the sunglasses.”
What do we learn from situations like this? Well, first, if you’re all stressed out and in adrenalin overload, forget the darn sheets. A couple of hours later, while going to the basement to deal with washing them, Emily fell and sprained her ankle.
The second lesson, then, is to space out your injuries, so there’s someone to take care of whoever’s hurt.
The third lesson is that anything can be turned into a column, especially if you’re on a deadline because you couldn’t type for a few days.
Finally, the most important lesson of all: If you do something really stupid, come up with a better story before anyone else finds out about it.
Oh, and I suppose fan safety is in there somewhere, too.
House fire and request for assistance
My sister Penny's house caught fire Tuesday night; it started in the attached garage, and there's heavy smoke, heat, and water damage throughout the house. The family, or some of them, might be moving in with me and Emily -- I've got a double bed and two couches free.
My brother-in-law was the only one home at the time; he got out safely along with the two dogs. The cat went missing for a time, but also made it through safely, so no injuries. That's the important thing, of course, but anyone who suggests losing all your belongings is no big deal never had it happen to them.
There was talk of condemning the house, and the garage is definitely gone, as is the utility room. Unfortunately, they'd just returned from vacation with many loads of dirty clothes, so much of their clothing was still in the utility room and is lost. The flooring's all ruined, and it's not looking good for furnishings or most of their other belongings.
Some needs:
Michael needs boy sizes 14-16 or 14 husky
Christian is 5 and wears size 6
Hailey is wearing sizes for 24 months
Chris wears size 34 pants and XL shirts
Penny wears size 8 or 9 pants and medium to large tops.
Last I checked they were especially in need of towels, washclothes, sippy cups and bottles, women's size 8 shoes, or men's size 9 tennis shoes.
If anyone wants to donate a little money for their needs, send it to my paypal account at ozma914@hotmail.com and I'll see to it that they get the money.
Although she hasn't mentioned it, I'd imagine the kids could really use some toys; Michael is a huge Star Wars fan and probably lost all of his collection. Now that I think of it, Penny probably lost her signed copy of Storm Chaser but I'll take care of that when the time comes.
Regardless of whether they get other housing through insurance, I'm going to try to get the house decluttered and ready for whatever might come along between now and when Emily goes back to school Monday ... not to mention we need to go through all of our own stuff for bedclothes and the like (never have I been so glad to be a hoarder), and find a place to store whatever we get until they've got more permanent housing. Penny Bortner-Rogers listed a phone number on her facebook, but if anyone has anything they don't need, you can contact me -- I realize most are too far off to help, but your thoughts and prayers are equally appreciated. Getting things back to normal is going to take time and effort. Meanwhile, although our internet router died at home, I'll still be around on e-mail (although there won't be much work done on the books for awhile).
Thanks to the Fort Wayne Fire Department for their efforts in fighting the fire.
My brother-in-law was the only one home at the time; he got out safely along with the two dogs. The cat went missing for a time, but also made it through safely, so no injuries. That's the important thing, of course, but anyone who suggests losing all your belongings is no big deal never had it happen to them.
There was talk of condemning the house, and the garage is definitely gone, as is the utility room. Unfortunately, they'd just returned from vacation with many loads of dirty clothes, so much of their clothing was still in the utility room and is lost. The flooring's all ruined, and it's not looking good for furnishings or most of their other belongings.
Some needs:
Michael needs boy sizes 14-16 or 14 husky
Christian is 5 and wears size 6
Hailey is wearing sizes for 24 months
Chris wears size 34 pants and XL shirts
Penny wears size 8 or 9 pants and medium to large tops.
Last I checked they were especially in need of towels, washclothes, sippy cups and bottles, women's size 8 shoes, or men's size 9 tennis shoes.
If anyone wants to donate a little money for their needs, send it to my paypal account at ozma914@hotmail.com and I'll see to it that they get the money.
Although she hasn't mentioned it, I'd imagine the kids could really use some toys; Michael is a huge Star Wars fan and probably lost all of his collection. Now that I think of it, Penny probably lost her signed copy of Storm Chaser but I'll take care of that when the time comes.
Regardless of whether they get other housing through insurance, I'm going to try to get the house decluttered and ready for whatever might come along between now and when Emily goes back to school Monday ... not to mention we need to go through all of our own stuff for bedclothes and the like (never have I been so glad to be a hoarder), and find a place to store whatever we get until they've got more permanent housing. Penny Bortner-Rogers listed a phone number on her facebook, but if anyone has anything they don't need, you can contact me -- I realize most are too far off to help, but your thoughts and prayers are equally appreciated. Getting things back to normal is going to take time and effort. Meanwhile, although our internet router died at home, I'll still be around on e-mail (although there won't be much work done on the books for awhile).
Thanks to the Fort Wayne Fire Department for their efforts in fighting the fire.
guest blogging for fun and profit
I was asked to guest on my friend Donna's blog, so in addition to answering questions that take us from poetry to vasectomies, I give somewhat lighthearted advice to would-be writers:
http://dmyates.blogspot.com/2011/08/guest-blogger-mark-r-hunter.html
I hope everyone's doing well; I've been behind on catching up with the internet, again. When I went to get a tetnus shot and a checkup last week I not only had a reaction to the shot, but the doctor discovered I have a low-grade sinus infection. The result? I've been sleeping a lot or just laying in a lump ever since I started the antibiotic. Pretty much par for the course this summer.
http://dmyates.blogspot.com/2011/08/guest-blogger-mark-r-hunter.html
I hope everyone's doing well; I've been behind on catching up with the internet, again. When I went to get a tetnus shot and a checkup last week I not only had a reaction to the shot, but the doctor discovered I have a low-grade sinus infection. The result? I've been sleeping a lot or just laying in a lump ever since I started the antibiotic. Pretty much par for the course this summer.
Washington announces new spending plan: Spend More
SLIGHTLY OFF THE MARK
I was thinking about writing a funny column on the budget debate in Washington, D.C. (The letters stand for Dollar Collectors.)
But it’s just not funny.
There was a time when I was what you might call fiscally loose. My thinking was that I could spend the money now and put it on credit, and when I started making more money further down the road I could pay my bills off.
Then I went broke.
Now I’m a fiscal conservative: Don’t spend money you don’t have unless absolutely necessary, and in that case come up with a plan to pay it off as quickly as possible. Later this month I’m going to try to refinance my home loan as part of an effort to replace my roof; if it works out the way I plan, I’ll be able to pay off the loan earlier than I would have without refinancing. It’ll be hard, but not as embarrassing as knocking on the neighbor’s door to borrow buckets every time it rains.
If I worked like the Federal Government, I’d simply go to the computer in my office, print out more $20 bills, create a Department of Roof Repair, build a three room addition to the house (one to house the bureaucrats, one to store stacks of paperwork, and one for the new Congressional Weight Room), and pretend the money was actually worth something. And still not get the roof fixed.
I don’t know if my refinancing will be approved. If I can’t afford it, maybe I’ll patch the roof up the best I can, or spread a tarp over it and save up money toward doing it next year. But I can tell you what I’m not going to do:
I’m not going to print fake money that isn’t backed up by reality.
I’m not going to pretend the problem doesn’t exist.
I’m not going to keep spending at my current rate even if I don’t have as much money coming in.
I’m not going to send cash I don’t have to people in other towns who don’t like me.
I’m not going to support my neighbors if they break in and just start living in my house without asking permission.
I’m not going to go out and spend money I don’t have under the theory that it will make more money magically appear.
I’m not going to tell everyone in the house that they have to pony up more money toward the bills, without first cutting out unnecessary expenses.
I’m not going to start screaming at everyone, “It’s your fault!” in the hopes that nobody notices I’m not actually handling the problem.
I’m not going to look around, see what failed before, and keep doing it.
I’m not going to blame it on cash-eating microorganisms.
Did you notice how that list, slowly but surely, slipped from the obvious stuff, to the arguable stuff, to total nonsense? See, the problem with those clowns in Washington today is that they skipped the slipping part: They went straight down Alice’s rabbit hole, and have totally lost their grasp on reality.
A few people who’ve seen the writing on the wall (that writing would be the word “bankrupt”) have gotten to the Capital despite all efforts to maintain the status quo, but they’re far outnumbered by people who’ve been insulated inside the beltway for so long that they just don’t get it. The only thing they understand is that they have great pay and benefits, assistants to fawn over them, and no accountability because the voters just keep sending them back over and over, no matter how screwy they get.
So who’s to blame? Ultimately, the voter. Especially the voter who doesn’t actually vote. Congressmen and Presidents keep throwing green pieces of paper at whatever sacred cow the majority of their constituents agitate for, causing us to smile, think how wonderful it is that someone else is paying for our precious fill-in-the-blank, and close our minds.
Now it may be too late. This is no longer a government by and of the people, but instead a government over the people, a government of men and women who think they’re better and smarter than the unwashed masses they look down on. We were meant to have a citizen government, but instead we have a country run by bureaucrats, enabled by two buildings full of clueless front men ruling over us with the money they steal from us.
We must stop spending. Not meaningless shell games argued over by politicians protecting their pet projects, but deep, painful cuts that wash away the wasteful, uncaring paper-pushers by the rotten bushel.
If Washington can’t be taken back for the people, then maybe, as in John Carpenter’s cult movie Escape From New York, we should just wall off the entire District of Columbia and leave the remnants of our once great Capital for the rats to fight over. That should save a few bucks.
See, I told you it wouldn’t be funny. But worry not: I’m sure Congress will be establishing a Department of Humor any day now.
TV interview video
I’m trying not to type much until my hand heals up, so instead of a longer blog here’s something I’ve been meaning to post for awhile: the television interview done with me by a local station, back before Storm Chaser came out. Want to know what I look like in real life, and see my workplace? No? Well, here it is, anyway:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UT-4vWQIY1M
The hand reattachment surgery went well
Yeah, so, I chopped up three of my fingers in a fan yesterday ... and while staunching the flow of blood thought to myself, "Well, at least this will make a good column", which just goes to show I have my priorities in order. Actually, it's not that bad relatively speaking, but since I type as part of my jobs and typing is a bit painful at the moment, I'll be limiting my writing and internet time for a few days. (I didn't take any time off because one of my coworkers lost her grandmother at the same time, and funerals trump sick days in my mind.)
Emily did a bang-up job with first aid, then two hours later twisted her ankle on the basement stairs while washing the blood-soaked sheets (the fan was by the bed). Have this summer's medical issues been nature's way of balancing out the good news of getting my novel published?
Anyway, there'll be a short delay in writing until my fingers heal a bit, then I'll get right back on it. Oh, my subject line? No, nothing actually got cut off; do you believe everything you read on the internet? On a related note, I'm brainstorming more heroic explanations for the damage. At the moment the story of how I saved a baby from an attacking lion leads the list.
Emily did a bang-up job with first aid, then two hours later twisted her ankle on the basement stairs while washing the blood-soaked sheets (the fan was by the bed). Have this summer's medical issues been nature's way of balancing out the good news of getting my novel published?
Anyway, there'll be a short delay in writing until my fingers heal a bit, then I'll get right back on it. Oh, my subject line? No, nothing actually got cut off; do you believe everything you read on the internet? On a related note, I'm brainstorming more heroic explanations for the damage. At the moment the story of how I saved a baby from an attacking lion leads the list.
column: Replacing NASA's Space Pickup
SLIGHTLY OFF THE MARK
It doesn’t get brought up a lot in polite conversation, but many pundits considered the space shuttle a piece of crap.
A very cool piece of crap, but still.
It was designed by committee to be a fully reusable spaceship, but it finally emerged only partially reusable, took a tremendous amount of servicing between missions, and was more expensive to use than the one-shot spacecraft it replaced. The ship’s 33,000 fragile heat tiles had to be applied, by hand, individually.
Sounds like a government operation.
The shuttle, a pickup truck that trundled small payloads into orbit, was a technically bigger challenge than the Apollo Moon program, which relied on simply throwing away parts after they finished their high stress jobs. As it went through delays and cost overruns, many predicted the shuttle would never make it off the ground.
I miss it already.
Oh, don’t get me wrong; we could have done better. Still, despite the limitations and costs, the space shuttle program overall was a success, especially after how fouled up it was at the start. The TV show Mythbusters once demonstrated that – ahem – poop can be polished, and I mean that literally. They needn’t have bothered: The people of NASA proved it figuratively, by taking an embarrassing boondoggle and producing real benefits.
Of course, it was still a tricked-out pickup. At thirty years old it had to be replaced, just as you would replace any aging, critical equipment. I mean, my iPod Nano carried more computer power than the first shuttle, and all I can do is listen to Neil Diamond songs.
So we say goodbye to the space shuttle, and a prayer for those who died in the Challenger and Columbia disasters, and then … what?
Well, we could just not go into space anymore. After all, humanity has never shown any great interest in exploration, knowledge, or scientific advancement. We’re not likely to get any advantage out of new technology or discovery. It’s not like people have ever taken risks in an attempt to turn the great unknown into the known. Right?
One problem today is that we seem to have lost that sense of exploration, of going forward. When I was a kid we traveled to the Moon. Then, as if the water was just too cold, we pulled the tip of our big toe away from the edge of deep space and settled for making little circles around the planet, instead.
What’s left to explore? Space, the bottom of the ocean, and the workings of the mind; and the more I find out about how human minds work, the more I want to drown myself in the bottom of the ocean.
Mankind craves adventure and knowledge, as much as it craves the more base things like food, air, and seeing people make fools of themselves. On a related note, I’m okay with shooting the Kardashians to the Moon, one way ticket.
Another thing we could do is rely on the Russian space program to get our astronauts into space, where they can be on the International Space Station and … well, that’s about it.
I’m cool with the ISS; I just think it should be the beginning, rather than the end. I also like the idea of all the countries of the world working together toward exploring space. It could divide the cost, multiply the innovation, and promote that whole peace and understanding thing.
I also believe in the idea of dismantling our armed forces, under the assumption that other nations will no longer feel threatened and will beat their AK-47’s into plowshares. But that ain’t gonna happen, either. Have you ever tried to plow with an assault rifle?
The reality is that some nations pursuing space programs still see it as a race for the “high ground”, and look to domination of space as just another form of domination. Others won’t be in it for dominance, but won’t be exactly stable and dependable, either. Best to include them as much as possible, but maintain the ability to go it on our own.
But go where on our own? The Moon? An Asteroid? Uranus? (Oh, come on, I had to say it. It’s almost tradition, now.)
The next destination has become, like everything else, a political football. Add to that US finances being the way they are (which is to say, they aren’t), and a reasonable argument could be made for temporarily shutting down the manned space program completely.
With America broke and bleeding red, there can be no sacred cows – not even my own personal sacred cow, NASA. So, while I want to see a man (or woman – Chloe Kardashian?) on Mars, I believe we should delay that and send our next manned mission to an asteroid.
First, it might be possible someday to mine asteroids for materials needed on Earth. Salt, oil, non-fructose corn syrup, stuff like that. There’s little in the way of a gravity well on asteroids, so it would be possible to get stuff back at a cost that’s only way too high, rather than insanely high; researching how to do it now might bear fruit later. Assuming we find fruit there.
Second, Mars and the Moon are highly unlikely to break out of their orbits and slam into Earth, while smaller bodies do it on a regular basis. It’s like I always say: Big dogs look dangerous, but it’s the little ankle biters that will come out of nowhere.
Figuring out how to change to course of an asteroid in advance might save us from losing, say, Southern California … okay, bad example.
Third, getting to a small body would be good practice toward our next step. We must go into space, if for no other reason than to escape two year election cycles. I proudly volunteer to go.
As long as I don’t have to take a Kardashian.
Storm Chaser to #5
According to the Whiskey Creek Press newsletter, Storm Chaser is now the #5 bestseller of all WCP titles.
Eureka and roofing fun
Felicia Day, Wil Wheaton, and the legendary Stan Lee all on one episode of Eureka? I need to go back and start watching that show from the beginning; it looks like fun.
On an unrelated note, I've got about two-thirds of the chimney taken down so far, and have broken just one tool. Yesterday was only a four Band-Aid day, although I had to double up on the ibuprofen this morning after getting a bit too enthusiastic with the sledgehammer. The problem is that I'm now below one roof level and to the next one, meaning I have to kick the search for a roofer and funding into high gear. That's part of what will be occupying my time for awhile; I'll report on the other, writing related part later.
On an unrelated note, I've got about two-thirds of the chimney taken down so far, and have broken just one tool. Yesterday was only a four Band-Aid day, although I had to double up on the ibuprofen this morning after getting a bit too enthusiastic with the sledgehammer. The problem is that I'm now below one roof level and to the next one, meaning I have to kick the search for a roofer and funding into high gear. That's part of what will be occupying my time for awhile; I'll report on the other, writing related part later.