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Don't Sneeze So Close to Me

The coronavirus outbreak is a serious, deadly thing, and it should be taken seriously. All the more reason to have fun with it ... because if you can't laugh, the virus has already won.

So this is sung to the tune, naturally, of Don't Stand So Close to Me, by the Police. Fire up your karaoke machine:

They're sneezing, in public
People stay clear of me
They're coughing so badly
Know where I want to be

Inside there's no virus
Feels like I'm in a cage
Book reading, show watching
My kids here make me age

Don't stand so, don't stand so
Don't stand so close to me
That virus ain't stopping
I'm social distancing

Get calls from the fellas
They haven't got it yet
They think it won't get them
I wouldn't make that bet

Outside is, temptation
But it could make us die
I'm out of crap paper
Newsprint won't get me dry

Don't stand so, don't stand so
Don't cough so close to me
Don't sneeze so, don't breath so
Don't be so close to me

Washing for so long now
Perfecting elbow bumps
Don't blow your crap on me
Stay home and take your lumps

It's no use, this virus
Will make me sweat and cough
You might be infected
 I'm begging you, back off

Don't sweat so close to me
Please ... don't spread so close to me ...


"Don't pet me! You never know for sure."


"I told you not to go to Wal-Mart!"


4 comments:

  1. That was great.
    Your new book doesn't appear to be on Amazon UK.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Tweeted agaim. No point in going out. Northing is open.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My chiropractor was still open, but they canceled our routine dentist appointment and a blood draw appointment. But a chiropractor appointment doesn't qualify as somewhere you'd go for entertainment!

      Delete