Slightly Off the Mark: November 2024

(Writer's note: I had a whole opening written out relating to the election, but things went in the entirely opposite direction from what I'd predicted. Just the same, a bunch of people are unhappy and the whole decade has still sucked so far, so I'm reposting this blog from last year, because the sentiments are still the same.)

So ... we need a little Christmas.

I've always had this thing about putting up Christmas decorations, or in any way mentioning Christmas, before Thanksgiving. By "thing" I mean that seeing anything Christmas related before November would send me into a murderous rage. That's how I got banned from Wal-Mart one August.

Starting Christmas while people are going down with heat exhaustion cheapens the holiday, and makes it overstay its welcome. I was okay with putting outside lights up early, mind you--as long as they weren't turned on until Thanksgiving weekend.

So I asked my State and Federal representatives to open a new hunting season: Any lit (or inflated) Christmas decorations seen before Thanksgiving would be open season. Shoot to darken!

That's how I used to feel.

Not this year. This year I'm a happy little friggin' elf.

Why? Because 2023 has been crap. (And now 2024. For instance, a month after I wrote this my wife and I came down with COVID, which we carried into the next year.) In fact, it's been the crappiest of the 2020s, which has been the crappiest decade of the century. I know we're not that far in, but let's face it: A stream of horrible years doesn't make the most horrible less horrible. Someone get me that on a t-shirt.

Deaths, health scares, politics, extremists, the Kardashians are still around ... our dog died and our car broke down. That's a country song, man.

So, as the song goes: We need a little Christmas, today. Get started. Brighten up everything--make those electric meters spin. We need the color, the lights, the cheer, even the songs. Yes, I know Christmas is too commercial these days.

But so what? You don't have to be commercial. I mean, yeah, you should buy books to give out as Christmas presents, but otherwise don't worry about it: Just kick back and relax some between now and the 25th (of next month). Make the time. Watch a Christmas movie, curl up on the couch listening to Christmas music (ahem--while reading a good book, or one of mine). Do whatever it takes to bring down your stress level. There's no law against it. I know, because my Representatives wouldn't return my calls.

Merry Christmas! Party early, and keep those lights on after the holidays, right up until the Santa Mafia shows up to get you committed.