Slightly Off the Mark

The Klu Klux Klan Klobbers Kommon Sense

Way back in 2006 the Klu Klux Klan distributed flyers on cars around town, during our annual Chain O' Lakes Festival. The more I thought of it, the more I was reminded of a quote from the movie "Two Weeks Notice":

“You’re the most annoying person on earth.”

“Well, that’s just silly – have you met everyone on earth?”

I don’t know everyone on earth. I don’t even know everyone on American Idol, so I don't like to saddle any group with a character trait. But in the case of the Klan, I’m willing to make an exception.

The Boys in/of White visited Albion in 2006 with their cheerful message of hate and intolerance. You could say they skulked around, since no one actually saw them placing flyers on all the cars (except the black ones). However, since Albion is mostly white, you can see how they could blend in. Very few people of color join that organization, despite the KKK’s nifty free dry cleaning policy.

Now, let’s be fair to the Klan. All they want is a safe, free society for themselves and everyone else who’s exactly like them. Really, how are they any worse than the Nazis, or the Nation of Islam, or anyone who yells "death to (your choice of country here)"? It’s all in perspective: Hitler was nice to animals, and Saddam Hussein used to sing lullabies to small children before having their parents tortured.

My wife, who's part Cherokee, finds this sign amusing. It should be noted the streets were there long before Adolf came along.

Besides, this particular flyer targeted only homosexuality and illegal immigration, so hey – I guess nobody else has anything to worry about, huh?

In some ways, the flyer’s not too different from many others you might find under your windshield wipers. There’s an invitation to subscribe to their newsletter, “Thoughts Under the Hood”, for the low, low rate of $16 a year:

“How to find a good home in an all-white neighborhood! A guide to throwing great parties without letting the riff-raff in! Part 3 of tips for removing blood stains from white clothing!”

Let’s hope no one mixes that newsletter up with “Thought IN the Hood”, which is an entirely different animal. Talk about embarrassing.

There’s also a request for donations, because “We’re not funded by the government” (Finally, the government does something right). They need extra money for hair gel. No, seriously – two hours of burning crosses on a hot night can give a person a serious case of hat hair.

My grandfather didn't slog his way across Europe so these bozos could pull the same crap over here.

The flyer declares: “Notice there is family morals that need to be brought back to our family.” Family morals, but apparently not grammar. How sad. Well, they say Abraham Lincoln was a lousy speller.

Um, maybe this would be a bad time to bring up Lincoln.

Some of the flyer actually made me chuckle, in that ironic way I have just before throwing small objects across the room. The KKK, of all organizations, actually mentions the Pledge of Allegiance? You know, the one that says One Nation – Indivisible – With Liberty and Justice for All? What’s more divisive than the Klan?

Okay, the Presidential race, but otherwise, what? Oh, sure, college basketball – could we get back to the point?

Here’s the part I like the best. This KKK flyer, which is dedicated partially to an anti-gay rant, starts with “The Cape Crusaiders rides once again in the state of Indiana.”

Come on. Everybody knows Batman and Robin were flaming homosexuals. Whoever wrote this thing was having some fun with their Klan buddies, maybe hinting at what he thinks they should really be doing under the sheets.

Maybe we have something in common. I’m against illegal immigration, I’m a patriot, and I think children should be taught family values and good morals. I’m just like those Klan guys in so many ways, including a poor grip on grammar, with one little exception: I think –

No.

I KNOW -- every single person should be judged on their own merits. Their accomplishments, their failings, their crimes, their contributions to or damage to society. If I changed the color of my skin (I’m told that’s now possible), I’d be the same person. Except darker. It doesn’t take a brain surgeon to understand the common sense of that.

Or, in the case of our Men in White, a brain donor.

Speaking of skin color, I find it highly ironic that, at the top of the KKK flyer, is a picture of the American flag – along with the words, “These colors will never bleed”.

Ironic. And sad, because these brain donors didn’t see the irony.

The flag works better with all the colors.

With our books, both the grammar and the message are much better:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

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· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

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Remember: A hood is hard to read through.

Storm Photos and Videos

I'm about to tell you a story you won't believe. Like all my stories about things that actually happened, it actually happened.

There was a storm coming in, which is not at all unusual during an Indiana summer. A tornado warning had been issued for Kosciusko County, which is the nearest county to our west, so I went out to take some pictures and video of it coming in. The two photos you see here were only enhanced a little--all the light in the sky was from the lightning.

I headed out back wearing sweats and slippers. I figured, what did Mother Nature care? She'd smite me, or she wouldn't. When the storm got closer we went inside to watch the various weather people, while I sent Facebook messages out on my and the Fire Department's Facebook pages. My small attempt to help.

Here's the YouTube version of the video, if it can't be opened here.

https://youtu.be/mOBn6hKPrwA

Since I'm no longer active as a firefighter, weather has become a spectator sport, and like any good spectators we had a snack. Rice, chicken, beans, and cheese.

Hm ... I just now noticed the two photos that came out anywhere near good are almost exactly the same, even though they were taken minutes apart. Sometimes night lighting just isn't good to me.

We'd been watching the national weather channels and local radar, then went to local channels as the storms grew closer. Then something crawled across my hand.

My mind instantly went to one thing, and one thing only: Spider.

But it wasn't. Even as I shrieked and threw the bowl into the air, my mind said, Bee. Oh, okay.

And then, because naturally my hand came slapping down, accompanied by bits and rice and beans, it stung me.

I'm allergic to almost everything nature provides, with the exception (thank goodness!) of food. I'm allergic to spider bites. I've had reactions to mosquito bites, when I get enough of them at the same time. Pollen and mold are my sworn enemies. However, allergy doctors do not normally test for bee sting allergies, unless the patient has had previous reactions. I haven't been stung by a bee since I was a teenager.

But they assumed I was allergic, because of, well, everything, so they gave me an EpiPen to have close by, just in case. It was in the house. Somewhere.

The bee was all black, and crawling on the floor, and I dispatched it with extreme prejudice because I don't like pain. Then I had to decide what kind of bee it was. "What did it look like?" Emily asked.

"Um, a black smear across the carpet."

"Well, there's something still crawling down there."

It was an earwig, which I also dispatched, while keeping one eye on the TV. What the heck? Was the bee carrying an earwig? But no, the answer soon presented itself: They'd hitched a ride on my slippers when I came in from the back yard. Looking for shelter, but all they found was death.

This kind of bee, according to my sources (um, Google) tends to nest in yards and has pretty much the same venom has a honeybee. In other words, I was about to die in a most dramatic way, while a storm raged outside.

At least I managed to catch my bowl, with most of the food still in it. The cheese held everything together, as usual.

But I didn't need the EpiPen. I had, as I usually have, a localized reaction, instead of systemic. The spot on the inside of my finger turned red, swelled, and my whole hand itched for awhile. As I write this, three days later, my finger is itching like crazy, but otherwise all is well.

That's more than can be said for Illinois and Indiana (and other areas), which, like the bee, got smeared under Mother Nature's giant foot. Tornado touchdowns were confirmed in two surrounding counties, but all we got was a thunderstorm warning, as the storm was starting to lose power. It was still pretty darned photogenic, as the weather has been, lately.