Slightly Off the Mark

Gertrude the Dispatch Goose

My coworkers set up a lending library in dispatch. This is because a dispatch center operates much like any emergency service: balls-to-the-walls non-stop action, followed by paperwork and training, followed by many minutes where you might have a chance to catch up on a good book.

I used to use that time to write, but as the years went by the actual work interruptions started coming too fast for me to accomplish as much. Still, a bit of reading time remains, assuming we're fully staffed and there's no full moon.

I tell you all that to explain the background of this week's photos. One of my coworkers brought in a new mascot, who we shall call Gertrude--or Gertie for the really wild days when we need to cut loose.

Gertie is ... well, you can see what Gertie is. The really fun part is that, from time to time, my coworker brings in new outfits for Gertie.

Gertie helps us celebrate what I insist on calling National Dispatchers Week. Over the years our bosses, various businesses, and individuals have been very good to us during that annual event; it shows by the amount of weight I've gained.

Gertie has also helped celebrate Independence Day ...

Mother's Day ...

Father's Day ...

And of course Cinco de Mayo, which I somehow spelled correctly. There's an excellent Mexican restaurant half a block from here which has also contributed to my belt size.

Naturally, we have a cop goose, and no, she does not goose step. As soon as Emily saw it she sat down and designed the little badge Gertie's wearing.

So, what's next for Gertrude the Dispatch Goose?

I do not know ... but it'll be fun.

Although I get the impression sometimes Gertie just wants to kick back and stay home ... like all of us.

You don’t have to visit the dispatch library to find our books:

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/search?attributes.contributorId=13727646

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: 911 is NOT the number for the local library.

Charge Away From Battery Fires! But Into Fire Safety.

I realized while putting together the mid-week photo blog (which was actually a fire safety blog this time) that the official theme for 2026's Fire Prevention Week is very similar to the one from last year. I was surprised, but it makes sense: fires involving charging and lithium-ion batteries have, shall we say, exploded, so I'm reposting last year's blog about fire prevention. Read it with your family.

The theme for 2025's Fire Prevention Week is "Charge Into Fire Safety", which I thought sends the wrong message. Do you want people to Charge Into Fire anything? I submit that we should be charging out of fire.

It turns out the National Fire Prevention Association is talking about safety when dealing with batteries, specifically lithium-ion batteries. Lithium-Ion Energy, or LIE, as I like to call it, is a huge advance in batteries as long as they don't, oh, burst into flames.

LIE batteries can be recharged and are light, which make them perfect for everything from cell phones to electric vehicles. It's truly amazing technology, and if proper care is taken they're pretty safe. But if they're used incorrectly, or if they get damaged, well ...

Despite all the other issues that divide our nation, I think we can all agree this is bad.

If LIE batteries are damaged--yes, I made that acronym up, and even though to my knowledge nobody's currently lying about them, I'm kind of proud of it. Where was I? Oh: When they're damaged, LIE batteries can undergo something called a thermal runaway, which is pretty much what it sound like. The fire starts, and doesn't want to go out.

Ever.

This can happen if they get damaged by, say, throwing your phone across the room, or crashing your electric car into an electric pole.

The fires burn so hot that the stream of a fire hose may not be able to extinguish the fire. The best way to control an electric car fire is to bring in a backhoe, dig a big hole, fill it with water, and shove the car into it. Then wait. This is impractical on your average freeway, so these batteries often burn up completely before they can be extinguished, taking everything around them along the way.

As a firefighter, I can tell you this is very frustrating.

So, what does the NFPA suggest?

First, buy only certified products. Honestly, I have no idea where you'd go to get cheap uncertified LIE batteries, but the good ones should have a stamp from a nationally recognized testing lab.

I wonder how expensive insurance is for those labs that test batteries?

Second, charge your devices safely, using the cords they come with. Not ones out of the box of old cords you have in a cardboard box in the basement. You know you do.

Charge them according to manufacturer's recommendations. They come with your device. Yes, they DO. You just ignored them. Don't charge things under a pillow or blanket, or your carpet, or your dog, or anything that could allow heat to build up. Unplug it when it's charged. Don't overcharge it, and stop looking at me that way--do as I say.

Common sense, that's all we ask.

Finally, dispose of your batteries--all of your batteries--in a responsible way. "Hey, let's see what happens when we throw this into the campfire!" is not a responsible way.

If you put them in trash or recycling they could get damaged, or insulated from air flow, allowing them to go boom, or at least whoosh. Imagine a burning garbage truck doing an emergency dump in front of your house. You don't want anything, or anyone, doing an emergency dump in front of your house.

On a related note, these batteries don't just give off extreme heat when they burn--they also give off toxic gases. So if one does start burning, charge away from the fire.

Oh, and one more thing: We're concentrating this year on batteries, but all the other usual fire danger apply. "Be careful" is not a bad rule to live by.