Slightly Off the Mark

Pet Sitting, and Dogs in General

I'm going to try to blog twice a week from now on: Some social media gurus think that's the optimum amount to stay visible without drowning in a sea of internet. I'm thinking a shorter blog midweek, maybe something about history, what with the 250th anniversary of the USA coming up.

Or pet pictures.

This is Indiana Jones, who goes by Indy for calling time reasons. He's my oldest daughter's dog--we pet-sat for him while she was out of town for a few days. He's a bit of a face licker, and Heaven help you if he gets through the door without a leash, but he's also very cuddly. Also, as we all know, happiness is a warm puppy, especially in winter. (He's not 2 yet, so close enough to puppy.) Unlike our beloved dog Beowulf, he's happy to be a foot (or side) warmer in bed all night.

Beowulf had a job and he knew it: Protect his humans, and guard his home. He rarely stayed in one place for longer than half an hour before he set off on patrol. Indy is way more laid back, although he'll let you know if he hears someone coming.

If I look a little rough in this photo, I was going through some back pain issues at the time. I doubt Indy would have let me put him on the couch and press my lower back against him for heat, but this time of year you can always find ice.

I looked a little better last time we took care of him.

Indy's very lovable, but generally Emily and I prefer larger dogs. Beowulf was big, and he could look a lot bigger when you didn't notice him coming. The dog I wrote into We Love Trouble is based on Beowulf, but is all black, much bigger, and has, shall we say, an unusual brain. (You haven't missed it--that novel is still in the submission process.)

We Love Trouble is a humorous murder mystery with ghosts in it--but the ghosts aren't directly involved in the murder. We'll see if that idea gets any bites.

Our books aren’t as cuddly as a warm puppy, but they’re just as entertaining and don’t have to go out to potty.

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Authors with pets depend on book sales for food. And bones.

On Valentine's Day, Be Meme

I was going to write a loving Valentine's Day salute to my wife, otherwise known as sucking up. But I hurt my back (it's that or sickness every freaking holiday and anniversary), and the med I'm on has me hearing green, counting room spins, and rhyming "heart" with "barf". Instead, I ~~stole~~ chose some holiday related images.

When I started looking for fun images, the first thing I noticed is that there are a LOT of single people out there who are just a bit, shall we say, bitter.

I've been there, back in the olden days. Still, some are trying.

They're not necessarily doing well, but they're trying.

For we people who are taken, there's still a challenge. Well, not for the women so much, but for the men.

Been there, too. In fact, been there on Valentine's Day morning, every one of the last ten years.

My wife and I spend a lot of time together--she's doing work related to my writing career, while I selfishly just write, so you could say we're coworkers.

But that's cool, because we're both the boss, when that's okay with her.

And the strangest part is that after almost eight years of marriage we still get along, even when I annoy her, which is usually.

Cute. By the way, I'm much older than her, so that image isn't accurate. I looked for one, and let me give you a piece of advice: Don't Google "Older Man With Younger Women" unless you're sure of your safe search settings.

I love Emily lots. I even say it a lot, because I try not to take her for granted, even though I still sometimes do. I told her the other day that in addition to having her, I wouldn't have a writing career if she hadn't come along and started pushing me. I wouldn't have gone outside my comfort zone on some great vacations. I wouldn't have had the dog, who was our furry child.

I also wouldn't have to worry about Valentine's Day. But hey ... you make sacrifices for love.

As always, books make great gifts, and you can find ours in various places:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Sales, reviews, and other encouragement are love letters to authors.

Olympic Sized Thoughts

(These aren't really Olympic sized thoughts--just small thoughts on the Olympics which, possibly, I wrote eight years ago. The thoughts, not the Olympics.)

Okay, let's not take it TOO seriously.

Probably the only downhill sport I'd have a chance of making it through would be sledding, otherwise known as luge or skeleton. That's because I'm incapable of standing on any moving object other than my own feet, and sometimes the feet part isn't easy.

But while I used to sled a lot, that was at, oh, ten miles per hour or so. Anyone who goes face first at seventy miles per hour ... well, there's a reason why it's called skeleton. Because "mangled body" seemed a little too obvious.

There is another kind of sledding in the Olympics, but apparently competitors are required to be named "Bob". There's only so much I'll do for my sport.

Speaking of sports in which I'd never made it to the end of the course, I've noticed that downhill skiers seem to be flying as much as they're skiing. Let's make it more interesting and fit them with small wings, just to see what happens.

I don't know this guy, but I'm very happy for his survival.

There's a skiing event that consists entirely of skiing down bumps. I can't stand to watch it: It kills my knees.

"Salchow" is pronounced "sow cow" ... and as such, just doesn't seem like a figure skating move.

That group snowboarding competition ... did some Olympic official happen to catch a NASCAR race and think, "That's what the winter Games needs: massive pileups!"

Figure skating has been a favorite of mine since I was a kid. But I'll be the first to admit that back then I was all about the ladies and the short skirts. Now that I'm older I'm still fascinated, because how the heck do they even--? I mean, try just standing on ice skates. Their routines are, according to the laws of physics, as impossible as me making it to the other end of the rink.

I never tried pairs figure skating because I don't like getting stitches.

It's a magic trick--try to disconnect the rings! Nice try.

I just watched a pair figure skate to music from Star Wars, and it made me realize Jedi would be fantastic athletes. Luke skiing, Anakin throwing Padme through about fifty spins on the ice, Vader as a bad boy snowboarder ... Yoda as a coach. Emperor Palpatine ruling the evil land just to the north (When I wrote this, the Olympics were in South Korea). R2D2 as a judge. I've just created a whole new subgenre of fanfiction.

Curling. It's indecipherable, and a joy to make fun of. Unless you seriously watch it for about an hour, then it becomes addictive. What dark magic is that? It's shuffleboard on ice. And I'm watching it.

Every time I watch ski jumping, all I can think of it the Wide World Of Sport's "agony of defeat". This removes much of the fun for me:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2AZH4FeGsc

In the end I'm not a sport fan so much as an events fan: Every two years I watch sports that I don't even think about the rest of the time. It's the same reason why I like to watch the Indy 500 even though I have no interest in racing, and I used to watch the Superbowl even though I haven't seen a non-Superbowl football game in twenty years. I've even caught a World Series game, or two.

But not basketball. Basketball is the rap of sports.