All At Once, My Movie Won Everything, Everywhere

 I never watch the Oscars, even with the promise of celebrities getting slapped. It's supposed to be about awarding people for their entertainment talent. That's great, but those people have concluded that being able to put on a show makes them experts in politics and world affairs, when all it really shows is that they can lie well enough to inspire awe.

Come to think of it, maybe they do understand politics.

But if I want to hear a political speech ... well, I don't. I follow politics because it's important, but it's not where I go for entertainment: I don't care for tragedies.

The truth is, when I watch a movie I just want to have fun. Most of the motion pictures that get nominations for the Oscars are the movie equivalent of literary novels: They may be well made, but their ultimate purpose is to make the viewer feel depressed and hopeless.

Or so I thought.

When my wife and I saw the first trailer for "Everything Everywhere All At Once", I turned to her and said, "We HAVE to see that", and she readily agreed. That should have been the kiss of death for the movie's Oscar chances. If I think a show looks that good, the Academy will surely hate it.

I mean, "EEAAO" is a martial arts science fiction/fantasy/comedy featuring alternate dimensions. It's the perfect kind of flick for me, but it's not Oscar material. Come on. Sex devices are used in a fight scene for their intended purpose. One of the characters experiences a world where everyone has hot dog fingers.

Not an Oscar movie.

See? Hot dog fingers.

 When I started hearing talk on social media, I finally checked, and yes--of all the movies I saw last year, my favorite one won the Best Picture statue. Not only that, but the stage was clean when it was done sweeping.

Granted, I didn't see that many movies last year. I can't say whether it deserved the awards or not: Of the ten nominated movies, it's the only one we got around to seeing. There were only two others I was interested in--I didn't even know they did another remake of "All Quiet On the Western Front".

Still, the win for "EEAAO" gives me hope that maybe the highfalutin crowd in Hollyweird have finally figured out a movie can be both excellent and fun. Maybe I'll actually want to watch the Oscars next year.

But I doubt it.

I guess my favorite movies are like my books: Fun drive-in type entertainment with a happy ending.

(Remember: Every time you don't buy a book Michelle Yeoh beats up Chuck Norris. You know she can, so spare him the embarrassment.)

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Movie Review: Credibility Is Terminated

Well, he said he’d be back.

Terminator Genisys brings back “Ahnald” Schwarzenegger as a Terminator, who is continually sent back in time to kill someone who will eventually defeat a machine revolution, or to defend that person from another Terminator who’s sent back to kill … it gets very confusing.

Even more so in this movie, in which resistance leader John Conner sends his second in command Kyle Reese to 1984 to protect Sarah Conner, John’s future mom, in the past. It’s exactly what happened in the first movie. But this time, instead of getting there just after the original Terminator does, Reese arrives to discover that Terminator has been around for many years—and instead of killing her, it’s been protecting Sarah the whole time.

Then it gets complicated.

Reese, like the audience, flails around, trying to figure out what’s going on. Why can’t he can’t just blow away this oddly aged Terminator and get it on with Sarah? Turns out he’s John Conner’s father (Reese, not the Terminator), which comes as something of a shock to him. The timeline is fractured as the movie, and sometimes the characters, jump back and forth in time, blowing things up and generally causing chaos.

Just sit back and you may find, to your surprise, that it is enjoyable. Yes, there are logic problems along the way and moments that stretch credibility, but think of it this way: You’re watching a movie about time traveling robots. How much credibility do you really have the right to demand?

(Having said that, it’s never explained just who messed with the original timeline.)

Terminator Genisys is probably the third best of the Terminator movies, which according to some isn’t saying much. The cast and effects are first rate, and as popcorn movies go it’s one of the better ones. Emilia Clarke holds her own against the strong Sarah Conner actors who came before her, and look for J.K. Simmons as an older cop still reeling from a decades old involvement in a Terminator battle.

Best of all: Matt Smith, in a small role that made me smile like a loon every time he appeared. Casting a guy who played the eleventh time-traveling Doctor Who in a time travel movie was inspired, even if he didn’t get all that much to do. It makes me want to go write a fanfiction crossover.

I take it back ... don't smile.