Working Through Retirement Laziness

 A lot of people asked what I planned to do after retirement.

Work, of course.

I'm taking early social security, and I also have a nice retirement benefit after 35 years, but between the two I'll still be making far less than I did on the job. That's okay, because I've always planned to work until I drop--I just wanted to do the work that, well, I wanted to do.

And so, there's the writing thing. But that doesn't mean I don't want to have some fun ... or take it easy, and the two aren't always the same thing.

I tried an air show at Pokagon State Park, but everyone wanted to get high.

 Have you seen all those ads about retired people doing amazing things? Diving into pools, hiking the Appalachian Trail, taking the grandkids to Disneyland, being a roadie for The Rolling Stones ...

I've noticed a lot of those ads are from drug companies that medicate you into being able to do those amazing things. "Don't forget the side effects for Neweryu, the little chartreuse pill: forgetfulness, suicidal thoughts, spontaneous limb separation, anal leakage ... and don't take if you're allergic to Neweryu, or its ingredients that we haven't told you about. Neweryu, for a newer you!"

 I'd be satisfied to be able to get out of bed without alerting the neighbors. "Hear that cracking, popping, groaning sound next door? Mark got up to mow his lawn."

As we drove through central Indiana a retirement activity hit me: I could restore tanks!

 

It used to take two hours to mow my lawn. Now it takes two days and five bottles of Gatorade.

What do the doctors say? "Eat right and exercise, get some fresh air!"

Fresh air? When Emily and I go to the park we don't use sunblock; we smear Icy Hot over ourselves. And not in a sexy way.

Actually, we use Biofreeze, which we get from our chiropractor. I'll have to stock up, because in a few years I'll be on Medicare, and I'm told they don't cover routine chiropractic treatment. Worse case scenario, if the pain gets too bad, somewhere back in the pantry there's a half bottle of rum from New Years Eve, 2011.

But let's go back to the doctors, who want me to exercise to cure the fact that I can't exercise. "Just walk a little way, to start." Well, what do you think I've been doing? The kitchen's a little way. On a related note, as for eating right--to heck with that. I'm going for steaks and chocolate. I don't know how many meals I have left; why pollute them with spinach and lettuce?

It's a great historic bridge, but ... where are the benches?

 

So yeah, I'm leaning toward taking it easy, more than gallivanting. Do people still gallivant? Probably not, but I have no desire to take polka lessons, or play pickleball.  Pickleball is just anther sport to make me look foolish as my paddle/racket/stick thing swishes through the air for a clean miss.

But it could be worse. I'm trading two jobs in which I sat in a chair at a keyboard for one job in which I sit in a chair and keyboard, and that one is way less stressful.  Less stress helps a lot. So if you see someone on the Appalachian Trail who looks like me ...

It's not me. 

 

 

Support my retirement! Find our books here:

 

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·        Barnes & Noble:  https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

·        Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

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Remember: Every time an author retires, a typewriter gets it wings.

 

 

Mills, Fires, and Book Blurbs

 I won't have time to do my regular blog again this weekend, but fear not! Instead I'm linking you to a fun, photo filled monthly newsletter.

Well, there are photos, anyway.

But the thing that may interest you the most is that, in the newsletter, I included the book blurb for Haunted Noble County, Indiana. The publisher has officially given the book that name, by the way. They haven't approved the blurb yet, but it isn't likely to be much different from what you'll see here:

https://mailchi.mp/11840c2e73a9/vacation-time-to-not-get-away

I also talk a little about our vacation, which was generally uneventful, and one of the larger fires in the history of Noble County (Indiana), which was generally very eventful. Sign up for the newsletter! It only goes out once a month unless there's Big News, and it's free. Also, no cost.

If the smoke rises high enough to form a mushroom cloud visible 40 miles away, it's a big fire.

We can be found ... everywhere:

• Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
• Barnes & Noble:  https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"
• Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter
• Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
• Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
• Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
• Substack:  https://substack.com/@markrhunter  
• Tumblr:  https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
• Smashwords:  https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

 Remember: Not reading books is--spooky.

Vacation, Time To Get Away ... Or Not

 Vacation often conjures images of relaxing on a beach, climbing mountains, or visiting places you've never been. Here, in the time of COVID, you can still very much do that. Start with the Travel Channel.

In fact, just go on down the channels, and once you've sorted through the paid programming you might see several places you've never been before. As I write this, part of my attention is on ancient Egypt. You think I could afford a plane ticket for that?

September has long been a big vacation month for us, because after Labor Day my wife's job goes down to weekends only, which means we can go places on weekdays. Well, we could. It's how we've been to National Parks, checked out Kansas and Oklahoma, and saw a total eclipse in Missouri.

My current novel in progress involves a road trip, with transportation that has all the bells and whistles.

 

But as a virus works its way through the Greek alphabet, you have to wonder if it's not time to catch up on all those books piled by the bed. And couch. And under the bathroom sink. And in six bookcases around the house.

I mean, the next COVID variant is Epsilon, and I'm pretty sure the Epsilon Variant already killed off several red shirts in the original Star Trek series. I have red shirts. Coincidence?

I'm not sure I want to go anywhere until Omega has passed by, and that character isn't scheduled to appear in the Marvel Cinematic Universe until 2027.

Oh, crap ... there really is one! I was just joking.

So I made up a list of things we might do at home during our vacation. I divided them into three categories: Outside stuff, inside stuff, and writing stuff. Yes, it is possible to write outside: I did much of the rough draft of Images of America: Albion and Noble County with a laptop, sitting on various benches around Pokagon State Park.

I figured in good weather we could trim those bushes that, it turns out, don't trim themselves, and don't think I didn't give them a good few years to try. We could also clean out the car, something I try to do at least as often as I trim the bushes.

Inside, we have a plan to move our office, put new flooring in the kitchen, and find out what that rustling sound is in the back of the cupboard. Last time I cleaned the cupboard, I found a can of soup that was gratefully accepted by the Museum of Ancient Foods.

The writing includes the fun stuff--two manuscripts I need to polish a little. It also includes the un-fun stuff: submitting those novels to agents and publishers, getting back on the promotion wagon, formatting a photo book we've been working on for three years, and finding out what's making that rustling sound in the back of my lower left desk drawer. All I know for sure is that my dog refuses to go near it.

Is this what they mean by meta?

How much of this will we get done? Well, I had ideas for day trips, where we could stop, enjoy the scenery while holding our breaths, and then smear on sanitizer. But then my wife hurt her knee, and her friend gave me an electric chain saw (unrelated), which I actually managed to get working. That led to one full day putting my back into yard work, followed by several more days putting my back on ice. Oh, well--we're also behind on our TV show watching. So how much will we get done?

Less than planned.

But it's a vacation, so what the heck.

http://markrhunter.com/
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

Vacation, We Can't Get Away

So, our regular late May vacation is mostly a staycation for us this year. Not our first time, and maybe for the best, considering long range weather forecast couldn't be described as perfect.

"Scattered COVID predicted, with a chance of coronavirus ..."

I can live with that. (I mean the staycation, not corona-storms.) In addition to ongoing back problems that would make camping rough, I've just started back to work on the Albion Fire Department photo book that I made so much noise about last year, then had to set aside for various reasons. So it's a "stay away from work to do other work" thing. I suspect my wife can take that for only so long before she starts measuring me for my burial suit.

"Mark, I made you a snack. Never mind the sour smell and the strange taste ... now, you still wear a 36 waist, right?"

Like I'm going to tell her.

Maybe it's an opportunity. The Catch-22 about writing is that it's hard to make enough money at it without writing full time, but writers can't afford to quit their jobs and work full time until they've made enough money at it.

I wonder what Catch-21 is? (I looked it up; apparently it's a game show.)

We do love to travel, and I suggested going down to Missouri to see Emily's family and friends. The problem is, that involves driving through three states, any one of which *coughIllinoiscough* could arrest you just for driving through. Could we get food along the way? Fuel? An open dog park?

Just our luck, we'd get put in jail with a bunch of people with allergies like ours. Talk about a sleepless night.

Personally, I'd like to go further afield than we have in the past. The furthest west we've ever been is the junction of Missouri, Oklahoma, and Kansas, where there's ... a plaque, and a pile of stones.

I mean, it's a nice pile of stones, but still.

Some of our favorite trips were when we traveled around Indiana, especially while researching for our book Hoosier Hysterical. Did you know there are canyons in Indiana? I guess we couldn't see them through the corn.

This is one of the less rugged areas of Turkey Run State Park.

Then there were the waterfalls we encountered in several Hoosier locations, with my favorite being Clifty Falls State Park. Climb the observation tower, see the Ohio River and Kentucky, and get a nose bleed.

Considering the Ohio River is along Indiana's warm southern border, this view is strangely coal.

But we camped on those trips, and the campgrounds are closed. Ah, well--we'll save up for further trips in the future, and stick to our own area this time around--especially since Emily's job is finally opening up on May 24. Meanwhile we've got my almost obsessive picture taking to remember all our journeys by.

Tanks for the memories.

http://markrhunter.com/
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"