Showing posts with label time travel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label time travel. Show all posts

2020s: The Decade of Déjà vu

 Someday, someone will invent time travel. Then the government will get hold of it, and the first thing they'll do is over-regulate it. "All forms must be completed in triplicate--and no, you can't fill them out ahead of time."

One of those regulations will state, quite explicitly, that you CANNOT go back to any point in the 2020s.

No, not because of COVID: because the insanity might be contagious.

We've gone through way worse times, as a country and as a world. The American Civil War was awful. The Great Depression kinda sucked. The 40s could have been better. The 50s were okay but, as with most times, it depended on who you were.

I don't know bout the 1820s, but the 1920s were roaring. The 2020s? Just ... weird.

And I thought that before the Chinese spy balloon came over.

Honestly, I was convinced the thing was from North Korea. The Chinese have satellites, for crying out loud. Maybe the North Koreans were just trying to dip down and steal some grain.


I mean, have you seen Kim Jong-un? He's the only person in the country who's not starving. They have to keep bread on his table, or he'll start eating his subjects.

The Chinese, in the interest of spreading conspiracy theories, have solved that problem by cutting into the population with viruses. It seemed like a good idea at the time. (Kidding! Just in case their balloon managed to land spy technology on my roof.)

It's probably worth mentioning that in 2020 Iran launched their own military satellite.

Then Russia's very own dictator saw what Kim Jong-un was doing and said, "Here: Hold my vodka"

What Putin didn't realize was that the Russian Army's warranty ran out in 2019.

What else could possibly go wrong?

 

Meanwhile we had only the 3rd Presidential impeachment in history, and naturally the whole thing ran along party lines, because aren't the parties more important than the people? Sure they are.

In 2020 oil prices tanked. Remember that? No? Now gas is so expensive that instead of a fast food place attached to gas stations, they're teaming up with those payday loan places. "I just need a cash advance so I can get to work so I can earn the money to get to work."

Want to know the fun part? Most of that stuff happened, or at least started, in 2020. Just the first year of the decade that time travelers will someday cancel.

The rest of the decade actually gives a sense of dejas vus, which is a Latin term meaning "what, again?" Recession, shortages, racial tensions, crazy storms, nuclear threats, government bloat, inflation ...

Holy crap. Three years into this decade, and we're in the 70s again. That explains the Déjà vu, anyway.

And we've got seven more 20s years to go.


Remember, every time you learn something from a book it makes Kim Jong-un cry. And that's a good thing.


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movie review: The Flash

Emily and I decided to get The Flash on demand--which cost less than going to the theater, although I do love action movies on the big screen. As it turns out, maybe that was for the best.

One of the complaints I've heard about The Flash was that the CGI quality was bad. I did notice it a few times, but overall it didn't take me out of the story at all. Maybe that was seeing it on the small screen, or maybe it was because I grew up at a time when special effects were limited to miniature models and animation.

The other complaint is that the star, Ezra Miller, is a violent felon. That's kind of a big deal, and if it's true they should be in prison, or possible a secure mental institution, if those exist any more. I don't have a whole lot of sympathy for that kind of person.

But from a standpoint of the movie, I don't care.

Hollywood is full of terrible people. I'll bet most entertainment projects have at least one person who others should be protected from. I'm surprised when a celebrity turns out not to have skeletons in their proverbial closet. This is becoming more obvious with each passing year.

But I like a movie or I don't, and I loved The Flash. Not only that, but Miller did a great acting job, something I didn't expect in a superhero flick. The entire plot is driven by one tragedy in Barry Allen's past, and Miller gives a performance that could bring a tear to your eye.

 Which just goes to show, having talent is only part of what a person is.

I like strong characters, great dialogue, and a nice dose of humor. The Flash also hit on something more specific: I love time travel stories, crossovers, and tales involving a multiverse, the latter being why the Oscars and I finally agreed last year.

The movie starts when Barry Allen/Flash accidentally discovers he can time travel. Despite a warning about the dangers--from Batman, no less, who explains their losses are part of who they are--Barry latches onto the idea that he can save his mother, who died when he was a kid.

He plans his actions carefully, to make the least impact on the timeline and, of course, everything goes horribly wrong. A Big Bad from a previous DC movie shows up, but Superman doesn't exist to defeat him, this time; there don't seem to be any superheroes on this Earth. Barry finds himself trying to save a world that isn't his, anymore.

Other heroes eventually emerge, of course, and one of the joys of The Flash is seeing him and his new allies interacting. (If you've watched the previews, you know who they are.) There are also numerous cameos by other heroes, something I'm sure many people hated that gave me great joy. In the context of the story it makes sense, or at least as much sense movies about costumed meta-humans ever do.

There's also an after-credits scene that throws Barry's normal world on its side, and would beg explanation--if there was to be a sequel. I think it's safe to assume the next Flash will be a different actor in a rebooted universe, so there's no use pondering that.

So yes, we loved The Flash. I think most people, if they can see around the behind-the-scenes trouble, would too. Then again, some people hate superhero movies no matter how good they are, and if any of those people have read this far, I can only ask: why?


Remember: If you don't like movies, there are always--books.


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