Slightly Off the Mark: disasters

Showing posts with label disasters. Show all posts

So, I Set Fire to My Snowblower

If you've followed me long enough, you've probably heard of the Infamous Exploding Lawn Mower Incident.

But probably not--it happened a very long time ago, when my main social media was LiveJournal. Maybe I'll track it down and reprint it one day. It was quite the tale: mushroom clouds, HazMat response, involvement with both the ATF and the Federal Aviation Administration, a Time Magazine article entitled "Will Flying Lawn Mower Blades Cause Global Cooling?" To this day, it's believed an engine bolt is orbiting Earth.

Really, the only way I could top that would be to set fire to a snowblower.

If you can actually see this video, I'll be very surprised and impressed at my technical ability.

It couldn't be as bad as the mower. First of all, the snowblower was electric, and didn't have much power to begin with. That might be what killed it: overwork. this is the first time I ever tried to run it through three foot snow drifts, and I suspect it was designed more for Texans who use them once every five years for a two inch catastrophe.

Besides, it was four degrees, and still snowing. A shovel full from a foot away, and any small appliance fire is out. I've responded to grass fires where I just stepped out of the fire engine and stomped the flames out with my boot--it was like that. Embarrassing. A wafting wisp of smoke, to be poetic.

Which doesn't mean the incident won't get bigger and bigger, every time I describe it. By the turn of the decade it will involve a blizzard, the National Guard, and the Space Force zapping parts out of orbit.

What happened? Well, the snowblower acted a lot like my back: It complained mildly, then it screamed in agony, then it stopped working. I put ice on both of them.

I suspect it burned out a belt thingy, as happened last year with our vacuum cleaner. (The snowblower, not my back.) There was smoke then, too. In that case I replaced the broken belt, and it still wouldn't work right. Now we have a new vacuum cleaner that I'm afraid to use.

Will I try to fix the snowblower? Probably not. We got it on clearance, it's four years old, and every light in the house dimmed whenever I plugged it in. I probably should consider myself lucky for not being electrocuted the first time, let alone trying to replace a belt thingy. Besides, I'm only assuming there is a belt thingy.

Now I can only hope there's not another snowstorm this winter, and we all know how my hopes go. Since I'm retiring from dispatch, I figured out how many books we needed to sell to replace the blower, and it comes out to 347, depending on the book. I can do that in a year, but by then we'll probably have to replace the stove.

The good news is that the neighbors on either side of me have real snowblowers, the gas powered kind. They've always been nice to me, at least since the restraining order prevented me from singing outside.

I should consider myself fortunate the DHS didn't set up a tent in our yard again--it killed all the grass, last time.

Maybe that was for the best.

There's always the traditional method.

None of our books have ever been reported as catching fire:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Most authors are so mechanically incompetent they need book sales to pay for home repairs.

San Francisco Rocked ... and burned

We're close to the anniversary of one of the most famous disasters in American history. No, I’m not talking about the birth of Kanye West. I’m speaking of the Great San Francisco Earthquake and Fire, which struck at 5:13 a.m. on April 18, 1906.

Which was way too early to be waked up that way, or any way.

We seem to be in the age of disasters, so it might be worth remembering that bad things have been happening to good people for a long time, not just since the Kardashians went on the air. One thing that remains the same is human nature: No one wants to think about disasters until they happen, and then their primary mission is to avoid responsibility. This is followed by a building period of forgetfulness, and then the cycle begins anew.

"Gesundheit."

Just as the Great Chicago Fire was accompanied by forest fires that killed thousands in the Midwest, and Hurricane Katrina devastated areas far from New Orleans, the 1906 quake shook up much more than San Francisco. In fact, it was felt from Oregon to Los Angeles, and as far east as Nevada. Two minor earthquakes even hit Las Angeles at about noon that day, probably caused by the earlier shaking. A line of trees two hundred feet wide were smashed along the fault line; small towns along the way were flattened, and any building actually built on the fault found itself at fault.

At least 3,000 people died, and a half million dollars in damage resulted – 1906 dollars. It was … well, it was a disaster.

Many people don’t know that most of San Francisco was not flattened by the earthquake; it was destroyed by the fire that followed.

A rattled homeowner, glad to be alive, got hungry after the earthquake and decided to cook up some ham and eggs, without bothering to check on whether their home’s chimney had been damaged. The resulting blaze, called the “Ham and Egg” fire (naturally), later joined up with other fires to destroy most of the city. Whether that resident actually got to eat the ham and eggs wasn’t reported.

"Pass the orange juice."

So, where the heck was the fire department?

Well, Station #4 wasn’t there anymore: A hotel collapsed on it. The Chief of the San Francisco Fire Department, Dennis T. Sullivan, threw himself out of bed and dashed through the door of his quarters, which was located at the top of another firehouse on Bush Street. (No relation to G.W.)

Unfortunately, the dome of a theater next door had just brought down the rest of the Chief’s fire station, and he dashed into mid-air. He died later that week, leaving the SFFD without its leader.

But Chief Sullivan had built a good department, and the men and equipment still standing dashed into action. Sullivan had recommended the building of a special water system, which could provide water from San Francisco Bay in case an earthquake sheared through regular water mains.

Unfortunately, the City Council refused to fund the system. The regular mains were, indeed, shattered, leaving most of the city dry. U.S. Navy personnel, always ready to help, laid a long fire hose from the bay and put it into action. But the tactics of operating a fire hose aren’t as easy as they appear, and the hapless sailors were outmaneuvered by the flames. They had to retreat, leaving the hose behind.

Steam fire engines generated almost as much smoke as the fires.

That morning a telegraph station in San Diego sent reports of the disaster to the ship “U.S.S. Chicago”, which immediately steamed for San Francisco. It was the first time a wireless transmission was ever used during a disaster. Later the fire alarm and telegraph offices in the city had to be abandoned to the approaching flames, making communications more difficult. It became impossible to coordinate firefighting efforts.

By that time word had gotten out, and Secretary of War Taft ordered all available relief supplies and military units to San Francisco. He later became president, so Taft must have done an okay job.

Less helpful individuals began looting the city, and the Mayor declared open season on such lowlifes. Several were shot; none were missed.

Eventually, with the assistance of volunteers, firefighters, military personnel, and demolition of buildings to create fire breaks, the blaze was controlled. It was time to take stock, and to determine what to do to prevent such a calamity in the future.

No need, according to Father Ricard of the University of Santa Clara, who wrote to a newspaper: “Never mind foreboders of evil: They do not know what they are talking about … those who venture out with predictions of future earthquakes when the main shock has taken place ought to be arrested as disturbers of the peace.”

In other words, don't worry – it won't happen again.

San Francisco City Hall has looked better.

What have we learned from this?

Well, be careful before running through doorways after an earthquake, of course. Good communications are vital. You can’t put out a fire without water. Shooting looters is worth a bullet. Courage alone doesn’t make up for a lack of training and preparation. Don’t cook breakfast until after you’ve started your brain up in the morning.

Finally, and most importantly: Hiding from reality doesn’t prevent anything except being prepared. If somebody tells you “It won’t happen here”, hit them. Preferably in the mouth, so they don’t keep spouting nonsense.

Because it could happen tomorrow.

Some of our books cover fires and disasters, and others are just escapism:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: In a disaster books might be the only entertainment left.

Winter Weather Woes Worry Writer

The other day I was at Wal-Mart (wearing two layers of pajamas--brrrr), when I ran into a polar bear shopping for winter coats. "Shouldn't you be up north?" I asked.

"Nah, I'm tired of the cold. I'm heading to the Gulf Coast. Hopefully this Arctic air won't keep following me."

Then he took off south in his Tundra. I don't know what happened to him, but I have a feeling he's not happy.

Shall we talk about the weather? Everything west of the Rocky Mountains is burning, everything east is freezing. It's like a Rankin/Bass stop motion special about Hell.

The Heat Miser and Cold Miser battle over Las Vegas.

I told everyone: "Don't welcome 2025! Wait until you get to know it better!" Well, here it is, and now we know it just fine.

It can be argued that this is just a continuation of 2024, anyway. The Hawaii fires were last August. Hurricane Helene decided it wanted a mountain vacation back in September, so it headed for the Appalachian Mountains--and flattened them.

Sure, a lot of people up there are in tents and are running short of propane, but it's the South--at least it won't be too cold. Will it?

Getting really tired of the term "record breaking".

Here in northern Indiana we had, as the British might say, "a bit of a cool spell". The high temperature earlier in the week was 30 degrees lower than normal. At one point, the wind chill factor was minus 30 degrees. Fahrenheit. It made me a little nostalgic for the late 70s and 80s, when the phrase was "another weekend, another snowstorm".

Back then Time Magazine produced an article titled "Another Ice Age?" (From 1974. I was convinced I saw that title on the cover in 1977, but it didn't happen.) Global cooling was taken seriously by a lot of people, although even then others warned about global warming. Some of my favorite science fiction stories back then were about efforts to survive the oncoming glaciers.

As for me, I was deliriously happy when I found out the globe was warming instead of cooling. Then I read a science journal article predicting a few areas of the planet might actually get cooler, even as the rest warmed up.

And guess what winter-hating blogger lives in one of those areas?

But there's a difference between climate and weather, and right now the Cold Miser has told the Heat Miser to "hold my pina colada, and watch this". As awful as our Indiana weather has been, this is a mild spot in the country.

A blizzard warning on the Gulf Coast of Texas and Louisiana. A blizzard warning. Snow working its way up the southern states. A snowstorm in New Orleans.

New Orleans! The place looks like North Dakota.

Imagine if they had their Mardi Gras now. All those poor guys with thousands of beads, and they can't get the inebriated ladies to show anything. Have you ever had a frostbit nipple? Okay, neither have I, but I have had frostbitten fingers, toes, ears, and cheeks (on my face, mind you), and I can imagine.

(I wonder what kind of drink a frostbit nipple would be?)

"I don't feel jazzed at all."

Instead, the guys would yell, "Show us your flannel!"

And the women would unzip their coats, unbutton their quilted shirts, and show their flannel. Why? Because if they can get enough beads, it's another layer of insulation.

So the disasters keep coming, so fast one is still going on when the next one strikes. If you want to keep track, hope the Weather Channel shows a split screen. Or, you could invest in a few more TVs and have each playing a different channel. That may seem extreme, but I have friends in all the disaster areas, not to mention I've always been a weather nerd, anyway.

Still, I wouldn't mind a break from the weather. I'll bet I'm not the only one.

Get our storm and non-storm related books here: