Slightly Off the Mark

Emily's Funky Clouds

First a commercial, because coming up in a few days is the Albion Fire Department block party, and I'd hate anyone to miss it. I wrote all about it here:

https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/2026/08/a-fire-department-block-party-and-block.html

(Although I just learned there's not going to be a "touch the truck" opportunity for the kids there, after all.)

Now on to the show, and in this case the show features mostly photos not by me, but by my wife Emily. She was working at the Pokagon State Park Saddle Barn, on a morning when storms were predicted--in Michigan. Pokagon is close to, but not in, Michigan.

From further south, I was pointing my camera north and taking photos like this:

Those storms, I thought, were in Michigan.

Emily, from her position at a place where no rain was forecast, got a slightly more interesting photo:

Not a funnel cloud, but you can be forgiven for thinking it is. If I have my directions right, she was also facing north. That's the Saddle Barn in the foreground. It could have been a roll cloud, but I've only seen a couple of those, and they're generally not connected to other cloud systems.

Personally, I think some of these photos would make a great cover for a novel; maybe a Storm Chaser sequel, or some kind of thriller.

Michigan had been having severe storms all week, including some tornado touchdowns. Indiana recently had the same activity, and we wouldn't wish it on anyone. As for Emily, I did an extra load of laundry last week because she came home soaked all the way through. Anyone who works outdoors has probably had that experience.

You don’t have to look to the sky to find us and our books:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/search?attributes.contributorId=13727646

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Unless you’re on a boat and get motion sickness, reading is weather resistant.

No "Touch the Truck" at Albion F.D. Block Party

A correction to the events scheduled for this coming Saturday's Albion Fire Department block party: There will NOT be a "touch the truck" opportunity during the event, although everything else will be the same. We apologize for that, but hope to still see everyone there.

Truth Is Stranger, I've Heard

This contains interesting “facts” e-mailed to me. The truth is, I stole -- ahem -- wrote about this stuff so long ago that my readers back then have all died of old age, so think of it as an "I Love Lucy" rerun.

Now, these may or may not be true -- that’s the problem with the internet -- but they’re still interesting:

“A duck’s quack doesn’t echo, and no one knows why.”

Surely a federally funded study is in progress?

“In ten minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world’s nuclear weapons combined.”

But there are practical difficulties to loading a hurricane into a B-52’s bomb bay.

“On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year.”

No, NO--pens. P.E.N.S. There's no "I". Get your mind out of the gutter.

“On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.”

Well, death, doesn’t jump off the ceiling and wrap its creepy-crawly little poison legs around you in the middle of the night, does it? Um ... does it?

SPIDER--Oh, wait.

“Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.”

As a result, the average New Yorker fears cabs more than spiders, death, or hurricanes.

“Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.”

Any of you ladies want to tell me something?

“Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.”

Do we really want to? I mean, it’s hard enough to adjust to changing technology year to year -- someone who lived over a century had to adjust to the idea of flying, let alone space travel, cell phones, and Michael Jackson turning white.

(I should point out that when I wrote this, Michael Jackson was alive. And white.)

“Women blink nearly twice as much as men.”

This one’s easy to explain. I blink when I hear something ridiculous, and so whenever a woman listens to a man ...

“It’s physically impossible for you to lick your elbow.”

And this is a concern why --? Seriously, what drunk college student first thought, “Gee, I wonder if I can lick my elbow?”

“The main library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books.”

Imagine that -- books in a library. At least they’ll have plenty of storage room in the basements.

(By the way, I’m told this is a common urban legend at libraries around the country. Possibly started by college students who got bored with trying to lick their elbows.)

“A snail can sleep for three years.”

Never thought I’d envy a snail.

“Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.”

It was made by government contract.

SPIDER--never mind.

“The electric chair was invented by a dentist.”

Well, of course it was.

“In ancient Egypt, priests plucked every hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.”

A concept that was invented by a dentist, before electricity.

“Typewriter is the longest word that can be made using the letters on only one row of the keyboard.”

I wonder how long the inventor of the typewriter had to work to fit in that little inside joke?

“’Go’ is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.”

Followed directly by “stop”, of course.

“A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.”

How do we know this? Maybe they’re just very polite.

“American on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.”

Not the same Americans every day. I hope.

“If Barbie was life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33.”

How’d you like to be HER chiropractor?

“Barbie would then stand seven feet, two inches tall.”

I mean, she could put eyes out with those things. Sorry, we moved on.

“No word in the English language rhymes with ‘month’”

And don’t think I haven’t tried.

Putting all these together, I’ve learned that no one knows why a duck’s quack doesn’t echo while standing under a 7 foot tall Barbie in a hurricane, but if a snail that’s been sleeping for three years doesn’t get hit by a baseball, it’s often used to pluck all the hair from an Egyptian priest who invented the electric chair while on a dental appointment to fix teeth he knocked out while trying to lick his elbow in the Indiana University library 116 years ago. Luckily, he had a typewriter and so didn’t choke on a pen, but instead was running from his personal ad date’s husband when a New York cabbie swatting at a spider didn’t see the ‘go’ sign and ran over him and his pet crocodile in front of a pizza place. During a hurricane.

I tried to fit “month” in there somewhere, but couldn’t get the rhythm right, no matter how much I blinked.