Slightly Off the Mark

Finally, Something AI Is Good For

Lots of us knew AI would be trouble, but nobody listened. We knew it would want to kill all of us -- that was a given. We didn't expect it to take over all the artistic stuff humans were doing.

"I have a book in me. I'll be back with it."

Of the thirty million books published on Amazon in 2023, 45% were written using AI. Another 52% were written by AI. A new AI written book is produced every time I hit the snooze button on my alarm clock. Artificial Intelligence doesn't argue over book contracts, doesn't miss deadlines, and doesn't have booze filled lost weekends when they're supposed to be editing their manuscript.

I hate AI.

I also hate spam. Not the food, but the emails, messages, and phone calls from people who want your money in return for, preferably, nothing. Until recently. Now I've discovered something AI generated spam can be good for.

You see, I've been getting emails from "people" who want to help me reach more readers, get more book reviews, and overall do all those things writers would really like help at doing. It used to be easy to tell which messages were spam:

"Dear Sir Mark"

But not anymore. Now AI takes two tenths of a millisecond to read everything ever written on my social media, including about my books, and generates an email so personalized it actually makes you hesitate. For instance, I got this one:

"Your upcoming release Haunted Noble County, Indiana immediately caught my attention. The way you blend small-town history with eerie legends from haunted hills and theaters to the mysterious “Thing in the Basement” creates the perfect mix of folklore and spine-tingling intrigue.

"I also love that you both bring a historian’s eye to the paranormal. It gives readers not just chills, but a deeper appreciation of the places and people behind the stories. Books like this are perfect for both history buffs and fans of the supernatural."

Wow. That's a book I want to read! The only thing suspicious is that "Abdullahi", whose email address looks like a cat walked across the keyboard, then adds, "I’d be happy to share ideas on how you could amplify excitement and reach more readers who crave the haunted and the historical."

Hey--I'm the idea guy.

"Can computers hold my books in a photo? I mean, other than ebooks?"

Before I hit delete, I got a brainstorm. Writers hate writing blurbs, and most hate doing promotion. What if I kept the good stuff from the AI spam--and used it for promotion? Check out this one:

"Haunted Noble County, Indiana sounds fascinating, blending history with ghostly legends feels like such a unique way to capture the spirit (and spirits!) of the area. The “Thing in the Basement” alone makes me want to know every story you’ve uncovered. Your passion for local history really shines through across your body of work"

That's gold, man. If humans were as interested in my work as that supercomputer is, I'd be on PBS discussing adverbs with Stephen King.

But it's not just our newest book. I could put this one right on the back cover:

"Congratulations on Hoosier Hysterical: How the West Became the Midwest Without Moving at All! You’ve created a rare gem, a history book that’s equal parts hilarious and educational. By blending sharp wit with off-the-wall storytelling, you’ve transformed Indiana history into something not just digestible but downright fun.

"Your playful approach covering everything from Paleo-armadillos to Mad Anthony Wayne makes Hoosier Hysterical an ideal read for history buffs who don’t take themselves too seriously, teachers who want engaging supplemental material, and Midwestern readers eager to celebrate their roots with a laugh."

"I found this in the digital wilderness! Can I keep it?

It sure did its homework, although granted it only took a nanosecond. The same can be said about this look at Storm Chaser:

"Storm Chaser takes a natural disaster—something universally feared—and turns it into the spark for a deeply human story. That first image of Chance pulling Allie out of danger while a tornado bears down is cinematic, but what really makes the book compelling is what happens after the storm passes. The tension, the suspicion, and the sparks flying between two people who shouldn’t fit but somehow do—it gives readers more than just adrenaline, it gives them heart.

Romantic suspense is one of those genres where the setting almost becomes a character, and you’ve nailed that. The storms, the fires, the sense of danger creeping into the ordinary—it keeps the pages turning, while the layered relationship between Chance and Allie keeps readers invested. That combination of high-stakes drama and intimate connection is exactly what makes a book stick in a reader’s memory."

Okay, it's actually Allie who gets Chance out of danger in the opening scene, but other than that--wow. I thought I was just writing a fun romantic adventure. Now, I tracked that one down to an actual legitimate human book promoter, although I think it's safe to assume she's not doing a deep read on every book she encounters.

Here's one for Storm Chaser's sequel, The Notorious Ian Grant:

"Ian Grant’s whirlwind arrival in storm-ravaged Hurricane, Indiana, and the resulting comedy of errors with his sister’s wedding and local law enforcement, promises readers a delightful mix of romance, humor, and emotional stakes. Fran Vargas’s no-nonsense approach adds a perfect counterbalance, ensuring the story resonates with fans of romance that combines laughter with unexpected connection."

I spent a month writing the novel, but the blurb took me a year.

That's exactly the story I was trying to write! Sure, this reader might be sucking down electricity in a basement in Virginia, but it still gets me! Never mind the two paragraph sales pitch that follows.

This kind of thing is going to work on some writers. As a group, we tend to be insecure and maybe a little desperate. There are fewer readers every year, and they're being stolen away by some computer geek who's running the electronic equivalent of a sweatshop, churning out books with no soul. Not that I'm upset about it.

So yeah, I feel like I should just take their spam and use it for my own purposes. I probably won't, though. It would make me feel dirty. You know, in a computer kind of way.

I still hate AI.

You won’t find AI writing anything on our sites, unless I’m making fun of it:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: It takes a human being to write a story with heart.

Mixed Feelings At Retirement Time

I had thought, when it finally came time to retire, I would be deliriously happy, and possibly get myself into trouble in my last days by giving no darns. (Or submit your own dirty word there.)

Instead, I'm a little scared.

I've been working for Noble County Government for thirty-five years as of December, 2025. For about thirty of those years I've been a dispatcher. Exactly how long I don't know, because nobody has any record of when I transitioned from being a jail officer to dispatch.

It's finally ending on February 1st.

Me at 25 years, with Mitch Fiandt and John Urso--we were all also volunteer firefighters.

Don't get me wrong: It was long past time. For many years, I've told people the average 911 dispatcher lasts only seven years on the job. I looked it up again, and the general consensus is now about 3-5 years. How many partners have I had in that time? When I tried to count them off the top of my head, I gave up at fifteen. Wait, sixteen. Seventeen.

Mentally, emotionally, and sometimes physically it's an incredibly difficult job, and it really is hard for anyone to understand if they haven't done it themselves. Like many dispatchers, I ended up on medications for stress and depression (and blood pressure, and indigestion), made worse by the circadian-interrupting night shift and the three day weekends of twelve hour shifts. I winced whenever the phone rang--especially, of course, 911. Every slow hour was followed by head-spinning periods of chaos, with a fire on one side of the county, a heart attack on the other, and officers making traffic stops who don't know what else we might be juggling at the moment.

First responders--and yes, dispatchers are first responders, being the first to know about an incoming emergency--have a life expectancy much shorter than other people. The job literally kills you.

Yet it's the best full-time job I've ever had.

Okay, granted I've only had five full time jobs in my life, unless you consider my dawn-to-dusk lawn mowing operation in high school. It's also better than most part-time jobs I've ever had, and pays more.

There are a few times I can actually say I saved a life, and many other times I made a difference. Few dispatchers can say they never made a difference. That ain't too shabby.

But my back, my head, my nightmares, tell me it's time to call it a day.

It will be the first time in 45 years that I haven't participated actively in the emergency services. My mind tells me I've done my part, and my back tells me to take the win.

But it's scary, making such a huge change after so long. Between my retirement pay and early social security, I'll still be pulling in less money than I did, and right now my only plan to make up the difference is by transitioning to full-time writing.

My new office.

The problem with that is that I haven't made a profit from my writing business since the newspapers I wrote for got bought out, years ago. I'll certainly get a lot more writing related work done, but that doesn't guarantee income. Ask, unfortunately, most writers.

So, yeah; a little scary.

But my wife is not scared, because, well, she's always been braver than me, and I do have confidence in my writing ability. So here we go: Off to the next chapter, as they say. It's my hope that I'll be supported in my writing endeavor by reviews, reposts, and (of course) sales.

Stay tuned.

You’ll still be able to find us at the usual places:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: My writing mind is still sharp as a tick. Wait, pick? Rack?

This Decade Sucks

Let's face it: the 2020s have sucked. All of them.

Sure, we're only halfway through, but the bloody writing is on the frosty wall. I have a friend who thinks you only need to get through half the season with the Toronto Maple Leafs before you know the rest of the season will be a disaster--it's like that.

(I looked it up, they play hockey. They're the Chicago Cubs of Canada. But at least the Cubs had a good year in 2016, which you'll notice is not the 2020s.)

So there's no reason to think 2026 will be any better. People made that mistake at the end of 2020, and 21, and 22 ... well, you can count. The 1920s were much better: They actually roared. Until 1929, anyway.

Some people have been having a great decade: Arms dealers, drug companies ... um, the construction industry? Half the buildings in America either burned, floated away, or were blown away in the last five years. If your house landed in the next town, you'll have bigger problems than just changing your zip code.

Although no matter how bad a time period is, someone is happy--for example, Hitler had an awesome 1939.

I don't want to turn this into a Rodney Dangerfield routine. Or maybe I do--Rodney understood the value of comedic complaining. But it wasn't the best decade in the world from a personal standpoint. Emily and I were sick so much the CDC pitched a tent in our back yard. 2022 was the first year I ever got the flu after having a flu shot.

2025 has been the second.

Once, Emily lost her voice. At first it was cool, because I walked around the house telling puns and singing Christmas songs loudly. Then she summoned enough strength to start throwing things at me. On a related note, I suffered a head injury that year.

This was the decade all the stupid stuff I did when I was younger came back to pain me. I was an active volunteer firefighter for forty-two years. Now I have to decide if it's really worth getting out of bed to pee.

Then, as in the old joke, I went to the doctor and told him, "It hurts wherever I touch".

He said, "Idiot--your finger's broken."

My left index finger has a scar and a bit of a bend from being broken twice, but it never bothered me. Now it's a doctor joke. My joints were as stiff as the Tin Woodman, and my head proved accurate in predicting the weather five days out. I realized I should go apologize to all the adults who wouldn't play with me when I was a kid--I had no idea how much they were hurting.

And they never complained, either. Most of them were the children of the Great Depression and World War II, events that remind us that yes, it could be worse.

We also started our next round of having to replace stuff. The couch broke, the toilet broke. The refrigerator sounded fine, but it stopped cooling anything. We replaced our ailing ruby red 2014 Ford Escape with a ruby red 2019 Ford Escape. Some people still haven't realized that.

It used to be I'd call my brother for help with these things, but, well ... the 2020s suck.

Rodney Dangerfield could have said all this better, but you get the point.

In 2022 the world population reached eight billion, and two out of three got one of the three pandemics pandemic bugs going around. The third got heat stroke, or frostbite.

Inflation hit its highest level since the early 80s, a time I remember as being as bad as ... well, the early 2020s. Come to think of it, so far this winter reminds me of the early 80s. Russia's invasion of Ukraine is the biggest European war since WWII. The Queen of England died, after being in that position for so long nobody remembers who she replaced. (I think it was "King Something".) So far as I'm aware, none of these events are related, but there you go.

There was lots of other stuff, but I'll just end with: Monkey Pox.

Rodney would have had a blast with Monkey Pox. "My doctor said I should get vaccinated. I told him I wanted a second opinion, and he said 'Okay: You're ugly, too'."