Slightly Off the Mark

Colon Check Brought Blood Pressure Surprise

I planned to work on a new blog during my colonoscopy prep day, but the day went, shall we say, badly. Okay, it went very badly, although the procedure the next day was a breeze (they tell me). One small polyp removed, and I only made one bad joke. ("If you find any change in there, it's mine--not a tip.")

Anyway, it seemed the most appropriate thing to do would be to reprint a blog from a little over five years ago--which was about my last colonoscopy. I'm adding one new photo, which I took this morning: The IV for the anesthetic left a mark.

I don't mind the bruise one bit, because that needle allowed me to sleep through the whole procedure.

Routine medical tests often bring nasty surprises ... not always related to the test being done.

I had a colonoscopy last week. You know what that means: No need to go into details. Honestly, I don't feel bad for people getting them as much as I do for people who do them.

Lots of twelve year olds probably say they want to be a doctor when they grow up. I can't imagine any of them adding, "And I want to spend all day sticking tubes up butts to check for polyps!"

For patients, the fun stuff comes a day or two before, when they first go on a clear diet, then on meds that, um, clear that diet. But there's more to it, and therein lies this tale. It's about the only thing that stayed therein.

A week before I had to stop taking supplements, including vitamin D (a lack of which contributed to my wintertime depression). Also aspirin, or any kind of nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drug, which I never knew is what NSAID is short for.

Soon after that I developed a sinus headache, which I didn't worry about because if I have a sinus headache, it must be Tuesday. By the end of the next day someone was driving a railroad spike through the top of my skull, from the inside. It was every bit as bad as a migraine.

But what caused it? Sinuses? Stress? Lack of vitamin D? Withdrawal from caffeine? The thought of highly trained specialists bringing in the same machine used to open up my sewer?

Then, just before the procedure, a strange thing happened.

One of the techs took my blood pressure, paused, then took it again. Then she called the doctor in. He took it, then he put the BP cuff on my other arm and took it again. Then they all looked at each other.

There's no typical blood pressure for everyone, but it's generally acknowledged that the bottom number--the diastolic--should be in the double digits, like around 70. My diastolic was in the triple digits. And not just barely, either. The first number, systolic, was also reaching for the stars.

There's your headache.

This is what the inside of my head felt like.

My blood pressure was so high, in fact, that they almost canceled the procedure. And I did not want to go through the prep again.

When I woke, the new problem hadn't changed. The next day Doctor Donna sat in the waiting room, waiting for me. "We were wondering how soon this would happen," she said (I'd been her patient for many years). She refused to tell me who won the betting pool, but she did confirm the diagnosis. She also gave me a good once over, and found it hurt whenever she tapped on the areas near my nose.

I had high blood pressure and another massive sinus infection.

Doctor Donna told me to reduce my stress levels. A lot. I thought about my job and laughed. Then I laughed again. Then I cried. It seems my idea to retire, and support myself by writing full time, had become a matter of life and death. But what the heck--I'm always looking for ways to guilt readers into buying books. Meanwhile I'm on two new meds, one of which makes me pee almost as much as I was doing the other thing, the day before the colonoscopy.

Oh, and the results of the actual procedure? Clean as a whistle (figuratively), with nary a polyp in sight. But if they hadn't done it, my head may have exploded a week later. It seems I'm entering a new phase of my mid-life.

I'll call it ... the Ailment Years.

You can find good books to read during prep here:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Reading can help lower your blood pressure. No, it’s true.

Bald Eagles at Salamonie Reservoir

Just a photo blog today. After we got my glasses repaired a few weeks ago (long story), we headed down to the Salamonie reservoir near Huntington, where we proceeded to drive around aimlessly for awhile. Well, not completely aimless--we were looking for bald eagles.

When I was a kid, a bald eagle was something you'd just heard of, and maybe seen on TV. But this time of year the Salamonie area is now teaming with them, if you're willing to go out into the cold to see. We were willing ... reluctantly.

We weren't sure exactly where they were being seen, until we stopped at an overlook near the top of the dam. Were those folks down there hauling around huge cameras for some mystical reason?

Yes. Yes, they were, and way better cameras than we had. But never mind that: There are lots of photos of bald eagles at Salamonie--we had binoculars too, and just wanted to see them for ourselves.

The place you want to go is where there's open water, because an eagle's gotta eat. Of course, a lot of water in the area was frozen, even waterfalls. Indiana's larges icicle. That brought us to the other side of the dam and the Salamonie River.

"Hey, Mark--what's that directly over your head?"

We walked past three ice fishermen who were ingesting some pretty good antifreeze, and I ventured over some frozen sandbars and ice to get a shot of this fellow, who couldn't care less. It was only when we came back that one of the fishermen pointed out there was another eagle directly across the river from them, no hazardous travel involved.

I think this is the best shot we got of any of them. We saw at least five bald eagles, one of them a juvenile who flew directly over our heads. Maybe more, or maybe we saw the same ones more than once as we tromped around the area.

It was a great day despite the weather. We didn't worry too much about disturbing the birds, because the three fishermen were being pretty vocal, and the bald eagle closest to them just didn't care. Maybe if they actually caught something he'd be more interested.

And finally, because we do like a little adventure, everywhere we went we encountered these signs:

We were right below the dam, after all. Luckily, no siren sounded. If one had, it would have been when I as inching my way across the ice, trying to get a clear shot of that waterfall. I'd imagine I would have looked hilarious, slipping and scrambling my way back, but those things are only funny if they aren't followed up by the words, "And they never found his body".

The eagle-eyed can find our books here: