Slightly Off the Mark

Nostradamus, I Wasn't

I first posted this in October, 2006. You historians, check and see how right (or wrong) I was.

Like most prognosticators, I usually reserve my predictions column until the end of the year. But I don’t see any point in waiting because, frankly, I’m usually wrong.

I sure hope I’m wrong this time.

I say that because we’re in for a recession, most likely a worldwide one, the worst since the early 1980’s. I can’t tell you exactly when it will start, but batten down the hatches, ‘cause it’s coming.

(I was, sadly, right on this one: the Great Recession hit about a year later.)

One indicator of an economic downturn is when automakers start tightening their belts. As usual, America’s automakers were far behind the times, continuing to turn out big ol’ SUV’s when the high gas price writing was on the “holy cow! We can’t afford this” wall. There may be a rally in the used car market, as people trade for cars that could fit in the trunks of their old vehicles, but the gas-sucking gravy train is over. Where the consumers go, the automakers go. Where the automakers go, the parts suppliers go. Where the parts suppliers go – well, we’re all going to heck in a hand basket, if we can afford one.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch house, the housing boom bubble is bursting as we speak. A lot of people have been making their living in the construction industry, but, like an overdose of Ex-Lax, it’s an artificial movement that can’t be sustained forever.

Add the two together, and the economy is going to dump like … well, see above about Ex-Lax. That’s one reason why I’m making my predictions now: I have an uneasy feeling all this will be obvious by early 2007.

(Was it? I don't remember.)

Here’s how the rest of the decade and beyond will go:

November, 2006: The Democrats take control of both houses of Congress in not-very-close elections. For the next two years G.W. Bush uses his veto power more than in the entire previous six years of his presidency. Except for the ongoing attempts to impeach Bush, the government grinds to a halt. No one notices.

Attempts are made by Congress to impeach every future president until 2042, when President Jenna Bush-Clinton successfully pushes through an amendment to the Constitution that punishes “frivolous impeachment” with ... impeachment.

February, 2007: Riots break out in Wal-Marts when employees begin putting up Christmas, 2007 merchandise displays.

May, 2007: The 2008 presidential campaign begins in earnest. By the end of the year there are 26 Democrat candidates, 19 Republican candidates, 78 independent candidates, and Ralph Nader.

August, 2007: Ford declares bankruptcy, beginning a long legal battle that culminates in a government bail-out. By 2011 Ford is solvent again, and making a profit off hybrid electric cars they’ve had the technology for since 1989. They don't repay the taxpayers.

(I may have been a bit off on this one.)

Spring, 2008: As the primary season begins, the mainstream media makes a concentrated effort to uncover every single bad thing every Republican candidate ever did, from childbirth. Fighting back, bloggers and Midwest talk show hosts begin a similar investigation of all Democratic candidates.

In response, by July, 2008, all presidential candidates drop out of the race. Ralph Nader declares himself provisional leader and attempts to move into the White House, but is driven off by a cigar-wielding Rush Limbaugh. A grass roots campaign begins to draft Colin Powell, but he flees the country.

November, 2008: Moderate voters stay away from the polls in droves, but of the 15% who do vote, most vote for the Democratic candidate. The Democrats declare they’ve been given a mandate by America to make changes, which they proceed to not make. Colin Powell returns from his “vacation” in Australia.

Early 2009: Bio-fuels have become so successful in North America that foreign oil imports actually fall. Certain countries get very nervous.

October, 2010: The Cubs lose the World Series when a playback review reveals their winning runner forgot to touch third base.

Summer, 2011: The recovering economy takes a hit when bad weather across the country ruins crops. For the first time, people wonder what will happen if all that bio-fuel has to go back to making food.

September, 2011: New Orleans sinks. Ex-mayor Nagin stages a protest in front of ex-President Bush’s ranch.

January, 2012: Food riots break out – there’s enough to supply everyone, but not enough bio-diesel to get the food to market.

November, 2012: The President is reelected in a squeaker, thanks in part to the first Hispanic Vice-Presidential candidate. Recounts are necessary in Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and the new state of West Michigan.

(How did I not mention Florida?)

July, 2014: The first coal fueled, steam powered car goes online. Everyone proclaims it the most original thing they’ve ever seen.

Print this out, people. Wait and see.

I predict you can find our books at some of these places:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Reading is much more fun than worrying about the future.

Celebrating Word Counts

There's a lot more to writing than just putting words on a page, although you might not know it by the way some writers talk. Me, for instance.

I hit 34,000 words on my rough draft of Hoosier Hysterical 2: Subtitle Goes Here. (Still working on that subtitle.) Well worth celebrating, but there's a problem: It's just not funny enough. Oh, it has humor, but the original Hoosier Hysterical: How the West Became the Midwest Without Moving at All had a lot of humor. Some people might not recognize it, but that subtitle was supposed to be humorous.

We did stumble across amusing places, now and then.

But last time I covered the history of Indiana, and this time I decided to dive into the people who've come and gone, and left their mark on the Hoosier state. Some of those stories are amazing, inspiring, and too often, sad. Once I started following them, I dove down that author's rabbit whole and ended up with whole chapters about one person.

There's James Dean's breakneck career--okay, bad way to put it, considering how he died. There were black people and women who made it big one way or another, even though at the time their "kind" weren't expected to make anything at all. There were inventors and entertainers who came to a sad end.

It was fascinating stuff, but in some cases the best I could do, for instance, was make fun of Sarah Breedlove's name. It's a cheap shot, but I'm a cheap writer. However, Sarah Breedlove was the first person in her family not to be born into slavery, then had a hard early life, then her hair started falling out. As *ahem* I say, "It's just like a country song, except her dog didn't die and there's no pickup truck".

Although ... how do I know she didn't have a dog that died?

A stop on the Underground Railroad. Cool, not funny.

Anyway, C.J. Walker of Indianapolis ended up employing thousands of people to make and sell her hair care products, became the wealthiest black woman in America, and had a freaking Barbie doll modeled after her.

That's not funny. That's awesome.

So, I'm going to work on that. I have a feeling a lot of the already-written words will have to go away, or maybe I'll use them in blogs. Or maybe I'll write a companion book: "Hoosier Not-Hysterical: Really Cool People, and How They Got There".

At least I have my subtitle.

We passed through Rural, Indiana in rural Indiana. That's good for a smile.

You can count the words in our books by following these links; but why bother counting?

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: It’s not the words so much as how they’re arranged.

Finally, Something AI Is Good For

Lots of us knew AI would be trouble, but nobody listened. We knew it would want to kill all of us -- that was a given. We didn't expect it to take over all the artistic stuff humans were doing.

"I have a book in me. I'll be back with it."

Of the thirty million books published on Amazon in 2023, 45% were written using AI. Another 52% were written by AI. A new AI written book is produced every time I hit the snooze button on my alarm clock. Artificial Intelligence doesn't argue over book contracts, doesn't miss deadlines, and doesn't have booze filled lost weekends when they're supposed to be editing their manuscript.

I hate AI.

I also hate spam. Not the food, but the emails, messages, and phone calls from people who want your money in return for, preferably, nothing. Until recently. Now I've discovered something AI generated spam can be good for.

You see, I've been getting emails from "people" who want to help me reach more readers, get more book reviews, and overall do all those things writers would really like help at doing. It used to be easy to tell which messages were spam:

"Dear Sir Mark"

But not anymore. Now AI takes two tenths of a millisecond to read everything ever written on my social media, including about my books, and generates an email so personalized it actually makes you hesitate. For instance, I got this one:

"Your upcoming release Haunted Noble County, Indiana immediately caught my attention. The way you blend small-town history with eerie legends from haunted hills and theaters to the mysterious “Thing in the Basement” creates the perfect mix of folklore and spine-tingling intrigue.

"I also love that you both bring a historian’s eye to the paranormal. It gives readers not just chills, but a deeper appreciation of the places and people behind the stories. Books like this are perfect for both history buffs and fans of the supernatural."

Wow. That's a book I want to read! The only thing suspicious is that "Abdullahi", whose email address looks like a cat walked across the keyboard, then adds, "I’d be happy to share ideas on how you could amplify excitement and reach more readers who crave the haunted and the historical."

Hey--I'm the idea guy.

"Can computers hold my books in a photo? I mean, other than ebooks?"

Before I hit delete, I got a brainstorm. Writers hate writing blurbs, and most hate doing promotion. What if I kept the good stuff from the AI spam--and used it for promotion? Check out this one:

"Haunted Noble County, Indiana sounds fascinating, blending history with ghostly legends feels like such a unique way to capture the spirit (and spirits!) of the area. The “Thing in the Basement” alone makes me want to know every story you’ve uncovered. Your passion for local history really shines through across your body of work"

That's gold, man. If humans were as interested in my work as that supercomputer is, I'd be on PBS discussing adverbs with Stephen King.

But it's not just our newest book. I could put this one right on the back cover:

"Congratulations on Hoosier Hysterical: How the West Became the Midwest Without Moving at All! You’ve created a rare gem, a history book that’s equal parts hilarious and educational. By blending sharp wit with off-the-wall storytelling, you’ve transformed Indiana history into something not just digestible but downright fun.

"Your playful approach covering everything from Paleo-armadillos to Mad Anthony Wayne makes Hoosier Hysterical an ideal read for history buffs who don’t take themselves too seriously, teachers who want engaging supplemental material, and Midwestern readers eager to celebrate their roots with a laugh."

"I found this in the digital wilderness! Can I keep it?

It sure did its homework, although granted it only took a nanosecond. The same can be said about this look at Storm Chaser:

"Storm Chaser takes a natural disaster—something universally feared—and turns it into the spark for a deeply human story. That first image of Chance pulling Allie out of danger while a tornado bears down is cinematic, but what really makes the book compelling is what happens after the storm passes. The tension, the suspicion, and the sparks flying between two people who shouldn’t fit but somehow do—it gives readers more than just adrenaline, it gives them heart.

Romantic suspense is one of those genres where the setting almost becomes a character, and you’ve nailed that. The storms, the fires, the sense of danger creeping into the ordinary—it keeps the pages turning, while the layered relationship between Chance and Allie keeps readers invested. That combination of high-stakes drama and intimate connection is exactly what makes a book stick in a reader’s memory."

Okay, it's actually Allie who gets Chance out of danger in the opening scene, but other than that--wow. I thought I was just writing a fun romantic adventure. Now, I tracked that one down to an actual legitimate human book promoter, although I think it's safe to assume she's not doing a deep read on every book she encounters.

Here's one for Storm Chaser's sequel, The Notorious Ian Grant:

"Ian Grant’s whirlwind arrival in storm-ravaged Hurricane, Indiana, and the resulting comedy of errors with his sister’s wedding and local law enforcement, promises readers a delightful mix of romance, humor, and emotional stakes. Fran Vargas’s no-nonsense approach adds a perfect counterbalance, ensuring the story resonates with fans of romance that combines laughter with unexpected connection."

I spent a month writing the novel, but the blurb took me a year.

That's exactly the story I was trying to write! Sure, this reader might be sucking down electricity in a basement in Virginia, but it still gets me! Never mind the two paragraph sales pitch that follows.

This kind of thing is going to work on some writers. As a group, we tend to be insecure and maybe a little desperate. There are fewer readers every year, and they're being stolen away by some computer geek who's running the electronic equivalent of a sweatshop, churning out books with no soul. Not that I'm upset about it.

So yeah, I feel like I should just take their spam and use it for my own purposes. I probably won't, though. It would make me feel dirty. You know, in a computer kind of way.

I still hate AI.

You won’t find AI writing anything on our sites, unless I’m making fun of it:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter