Dad's a science fiction fan like me, so I loaned him a box full of books
to read while he's undergoing chemo. Note that two of these are by
Linda Nagata, who was my instructor in a Writer's Digest Science Fiction
Writing course way back when we did those things by snail mail.
Denial, and Family, and Hope
SLIGHTLY OFF THE
MARK
Many
years ago, I was awakened by a phone call to discover my father had suffered a
heart attack.
I
said okay, that I would be at the hospital later that day – then I rolled over
and went back to sleep.
Too
sleepy to process the information? Maybe, but I think it was mostly a case of
denial. When it comes to medical stuff, denial is something we Hunter men are
particularly good at.
But
time goes on, and reality intrudes. By the time we’ve seen our fourth or fifth
specialist and half a dozen prescriptions, medical stuff becomes less something
to deny, and more something to fear.
When
I got the call this time I was standing in the Trail of Tears State Park in
Missouri. I’d just been on a scenic overlook, snapping photos of a spectacular
Mississippi River and enjoying the attention our dog got from every single
person who encountered him.
Then
the phone rang.
My
brother had been staying in contact more since earlier this year, when first I,
then my sister-in-law, then my wife ended up in the emergency room for various
reasons. I had no reason to think he was doing more than checking in.
Instead,
he called to tell me it was my father’s turn to be rushed to the emergency
room, with pneumonia. It seemed a repeat of what happened to my grandmother
over the winter. Pneumonia’s bad when you’re young; it’s often fatal when
you’re old.
Oh,
and there were also the lumps, in the area of his lymph nodes. By the time I
got the call, doctors were already pretty sure he had cancer.
I
didn’t know it then, but at about the same time my father received his
diagnosis, I was sent an e-mail asking if I’d be willing to do public
information work for the Noble County Relay For Life again next year.
Our
location in the state park was an hour’s drive from where Emily and I were
staying with her parents, nine hours from home. It was near the end of a long
day, and we were supposed to be down there for a while more; packing up our
scattered stuff could take hours.
There
was, to say the least, a certain feeling of hopelessness.
I
don’t have a particular direction to this story, or an end. On the contrary,
the story is just beginning. As I write this, Dad has been taken to the
emergency room after a bad reaction to his very first chemotherapy treatment …
not a good start. They still haven’t returned the results of a bone marrow
biopsy, which will tell us whether he’s stage 3 or stage 4 – it doesn’t matter
from a standpoint of treatment, but it makes a difference to us, the people who
need every scrap of information we can get.
Delbert
Hunter has Aggressive Mantle Cell Lymphoma, a type of Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.
It’s not common, and it doesn’t play nice. It tends to be discovered in its
advanced stages. It started in his lymph nodes, but this disease tends to get
around.
In
the last few weeks I’ve read up a lot of this type of cancer. A lot. And then I
stopped reading because, quite frankly, I wasn’t being encouraged. At times
like this you need facts, but then you need hope.
Now
the chemo has started. Imagine you already have the flu, and then you get food
poisoning, while your hair is falling out. It’s like that, only worse.
(I’m
being necessarily vague: The actual side effects vary from person to person.)
Not
long before treatment started, my wife got sick. Nothing major, but when an
immune system is beaten down by cancer and chemo, the little things can kill
you. Would I get what she got, and send it on? I took my dad a box full of
movies to watch, a copy of both of my books, and a print-out of my e-book short
story collection. Then I left, with the intention of making my personal visits
sparse until sure I wouldn’t give him something his body couldn’t handle.
I’d
been working on a writing project that I was going to dedicate to my parents. I
think that might be part of the reason why I’ve lately had an overwhelming urge
to write more, write faster, get it done.
It
might also be because I deal with tragedy and stress by retreating from it, and
what better place to retreat to than a fictional world, where I can control
what happens? It might also be that keeping busy also keeps me from thinking
about it.
But
it might be about facing reality, as well as retreating from it. It’s a selfish
kind of thing that humans do: The possibility of death makes us look at
ourselves, our regrets, our shortcomings, our accomplishments. “I have so many
stories to tell! Must write faster! Must get more done!”
Yeah,
I made it all about me. But here’s the thing: In the end, we have to have hope
and faith. The world revolves on those things, with a dollop of love. Right
now, while I can’t spend much time with my Dad, I want to put all my efforts
into a project I’m dedicating to him, so that later he can hold it in his hand.
There will be a later. That’s where the hope and faith stuff comes in.
My parents are
readers. They bought me my first comic books, and the Oz book collection, and
encouraged my book wormishness. I think he’ll like having the culmination of
his parenting, bound in a book in his hands.
He’s
got an experienced, hardworking medical staff doing everything they can for him
– this is what I can do for him.
That, and be there.
Oh,
and that request to help out the American Cancer Society’s Relay For Life next
year? Of course, I said yes.
Third Place For Short Story Collection
Storm
Chaser Shorts placed third for Best Short Story Collection at the eFestival
of Words Virtual Book Fair. Thanks to those who voted, and to whoever nominated
me!
First place is Storm Damage by John A.A. Logan (which pretty much confirms that I
was right to change the name of my Storm
Chaser sequel), and second place is Cage
Life by Karin Cox. All the winners can be found here:
This would be a good time for me to
sell the soap: Don’t forget that you can get your copy of Storm Chaser Shorts at the Whiskey Creek Press website, or at
Amazon.com:
Or at Barnesandnoble.com:
Unfortunately, my short story collection
isn’t available in print, but it’s still the third best batch of tales at a
virtual book fair, and isn’t that better than fourth?
Speak of the Devil: A Day In The Life Of A Dog
Speak of the Devil: A Day In The Life Of A Dog: 7:15 AM. Sun's up outside. The human is awake upstairs, from the sound of it. Feeling hungry... 7:30 AM. Good morning,...
Fifty Authors from Fifty States: It's a Rhode Island Thing-Steven Porter’s Rhode Is...
Fifty Authors from Fifty States: It's a Rhode Island Thing-Steven Porter’s Rhode Is...: I think we have all experienced being far from home, perhaps enjoying a vacation away from it all, only to make a random acquaintance t...
Speak of the Devil: Frosty The Scary Reanimated Popsicle Person
I'm about halfway through Barry's latest book, and will post my own review later. But so far this reviewer is in agreement with me ...
Speak of the Devil: Frosty The Scary Reanimated Popsicle Person: A couple of outstanding items to be looked at before I get into anything else. First, my partner in crime Norma has been in pursuit of the D...
Speak of the Devil: Frosty The Scary Reanimated Popsicle Person: A couple of outstanding items to be looked at before I get into anything else. First, my partner in crime Norma has been in pursuit of the D...
You gotta have class
Emily got that third class she'd been hoping for this semester, one on fiction writing. The bad news: She'll have at least one class at IPFW every day of the week. The good news: It fits in with my writing/promotion plans for this fall. Also, I love hanging out at the library down there.
She's almost done checking through my manuscript of The Notorious Ian Grant, previously known as Storm Damage (the Storm Chaser sequel). She seems to like it, and it'll be ready for the publisher in September. Last night, after finishing an outline, I wrote the first 1,500 words of a new fiction project, planned as a novella. More on that later.
She's almost done checking through my manuscript of The Notorious Ian Grant, previously known as Storm Damage (the Storm Chaser sequel). She seems to like it, and it'll be ready for the publisher in September. Last night, after finishing an outline, I wrote the first 1,500 words of a new fiction project, planned as a novella. More on that later.
Sacred Ground Travel Magazine: Primal Wilderness Rambling From Ottawa River
Sacred Ground Travel Magazine: Primal Wilderness Rambling From Ottawa River: “There is another (river) at the mouth of which is a marvellous fall... the Algonquins take pleasure in passing under it and not wetting...
A Hairy Coincidence, or: The NSA Wants Me To Shave
SLIGHTLY OFF THE MARK
While on
vacation last summer, I stopped shaving. During vacations we should be able to
stop some routine chores, and taking out the trash wasn’t on the table. So, I
grew a beard.
I never
shaved it off.
Well, not
until my next vacation, which is backward. Beards are for winter, to shield
your face from the cold and make you look all manly when covered with frost. (That
was the theory – I never noticed it helped much.) But summer is a bad time to
have another layer between you and whatever cooling breeze might happen along.
Whether a
man (or a woman – let’s not discriminate) should have a beard is an issue that
changes over time. For instance, you won’t see many American politicians with a
beard these days. At least, not that I know of. I’m not going to examine every
member of Congress for facial hair – it would be like spending all day going
through a rogue’s gallery of fools, thieves, and scoundrels. That’s what
reality TV is for.
The last
American President with a beard was Benjamin Harrison, in 1893. In fact, the
last President to wear any facial hair at all was William Howard Taft, whose
mustache left office with him in 1913.
Maybe the
disappearance of Presidential facial hair had to do with the concurrent
invention of the safety razor, which had the advantage of bringing – as you
might imagine – safety to shaving.
But did
Presidents always wear beards before then? On the contrary: Abraham Lincoln was
the first to grow a beard in office. The hairy pendulum swings.
Now beards
remind American voters of mad mullahs, drop-out hippies, or our old friend
Fidel down in Cuba.
In the
1800’s, many firefighters grew long beards as a safety measure. These days
facial hair can interfere with an air mask seal, but back then they didn’t have
breathing air packs, or anything to protect them from smoke and toxic gasses.
So they’d grow a long beard and, before running into a burning building, soak
the beard with water and stuff it into their mouths. Quick and easy smoke
filtering system.
Who says
beards don’t have their uses?
As for me,
it was laziness. It’s easier not to shave. Of course, it’s also easier not to
shower, and I still do that (no matter what rumor you might hear). I had no
motive beyond that, except for thinking it would be nice to have a layer
between my face and the winter elements.
Then a
strange thing happened: People started telling me they liked the beard. I
figured they were messing with me. When I had a beard before, back in my early
twenties, it would send people screaming in terror. This time I bought a beard trimmer,
which kept me from looking like a half-crazed mountain man but also took away
much of the laziness factor.
Now people told
me it looked good – distinguished was a term I heard more than once. There was
a time when I had no desire to look distinguished, but I gave up long ago on
looking handsome, hunky, or in any way better than average. So yeah, I’ll take
distinguished. Personally, I didn’t think extra hair made me look better than
fair to middling.
But after
all these years, I’ve learned to take compliments where I can get them.
Eventually,
after some fifty or so weeks of winter, the time came for me to shave the darn
thing off. I was due to host a book signing at which I would represent my fire
department, and modern firefighters have no need to stuff beards into their
mouths except in answer to Friday night bar bets. So, the beard had to go.
But the
mustache stayed, let’s not get stupid. Mustaches have been a great American
firefighter tradition since the 70’s.
I set my
beard shaver to its lowest level, and carpeted the bathroom floor. It looked
better than the real carpet, which was there when I bought the place. Who carpets
their bathroom?
What
remained was some extra heavy duty stubble, and on a related note – how come
the hair on my head gets thinner and thinner, but my beard’s like the Amazon
rain forest? I tracked down Old Reliable, a double edged razor originally bought
during the Bush administration – the first
Bush. It took me a few hours, but eventually I was able to expose my entire
face and discover …
The beard
really did make me look distinguished. Now, instead … well, let’s just say the
years haven’t been kind to my chin.
The beard (and some young relatives) before ... |
And the lack of beard, even more before. |
Despite my
regret, the next night I picked up Old Reliable, placed it against my stubbly
face, and watched pieces fly as it broke apart. Removing that forest of beard
had just been too much for the old guy.
I wanted
another double edged razor and went to the store, where you could still get
double edged blades – but not the razors to go with them. Apparently I’m not
the only guy who doesn’t give up a razor easily. Not willing to spend the money
on those monstrosities with five blades, I went home to consider the
possibility of smearing Nair on my face.
The next
day, one of those five blade monstrosities arrived in the mail for me, sent by
a famous shaver company that wanted me to spend a bunch of money on their
multi-bladed miracle refills, which by next year will no doubt be up to ten
blades each.
The next day. It’s like they were guided to
me by the NSA.
Obviously I
was meant to go bare for a while, but there will be other vacations, and I’m
thinking it’s time to get lazy again.
I liked being distinguished.
another Dad update
Dad had a reaction to his first chemo treatment that landed him in the ER. He's out of the hospital now, but chemo was postponed for three more weeks while they work it out and he builds his strength up. Meanwhile, he's going through some family issues that he shouldn't have to deal with at this point, so wish him all the strength he can get.
It's safe to say things have been rather stressful for the whole family.
As for me, I'm working on a plan to post more regularly, so stay tuned. It's not just medical stuff that has kept me offline, but the fact that I'm doing final work on the Storm Chaser sequel. When it comes time to seek and destroy "ing", "ly", and "was", it's best to just bear down and get it done.
It's safe to say things have been rather stressful for the whole family.
As for me, I'm working on a plan to post more regularly, so stay tuned. It's not just medical stuff that has kept me offline, but the fact that I'm doing final work on the Storm Chaser sequel. When it comes time to seek and destroy "ing", "ly", and "was", it's best to just bear down and get it done.
Speak of the Devil: Duncan Malloy Loses His Temper Again
Speak of the Devil: Duncan Malloy Loses His Temper Again: Unexpected Sequel Greenlighted; Reporters Wonder Why Los Angeles (AP) Touchstone Pictures and Disney Studios are backing a seq...
Straight Talk on Gay Marriage
SLIGHTLY OFF THE MARK
The other
day I was telling someone the issue of gay marriage had become too politicized,
which is true. However, all issues have become too politicized, including
politics.
I used to
be against gay marriage, for one simple reason: Haven’t gays been punished
enough?
I also used
to have a little photo of a white-clad bride, with the caption, “Why do I have
to get married? I didn’t do anything wrong!”
You gay
people out there, you know who you are: What are you thinking? You have a readymade
excuse to avoid marriage: It’s illegal! Commitment phobia? No problem: “Oh,
sorry, dear – my idea of expanding my dating pool never included meeting
everyone in cellblock B.”
But I no
longer make such anti-marriage jokes, because … well, because now I’m married.
On the
other hand, I’m a humor columnist, and it’s my job to make fun of stuff, and
things.
On the
third hand, I’ve looked into both sides and I understand their arguments, and
their feelings on the issue. Can I make fun of people, even when I find their
arguments persuasive and understandable?
Yes.
Still, you
can understand my reluctance to address the issue, even now after the Supreme
Court struck down a Federal law against gay marriage. It has everyone dancing,
rather flamboyantly, in the streets. I have friends who are gay. I assume I
have other friends who are gay that I don’t know about, since it hasn’t been
too long since there were more gays in the closet than too-small clothes.
So joking
or not joking, I’m afraid I’m going to have to take the libertarian position on
this one: Take the government out of marriage.
Should the
government be involved in decisions of morality? Well, yes. Is crime a moral
issue? Disaster relief? Vice-Presidential IQ tests? The Federal government is
grotesquely obese and should be put on a crash diet, but it does have its
purposes, and those purposes often do include making decisions based on some
kind of a moral line.
But
marriage shouldn’t be one of them.
Marriage
was around long before the USA, and will be around long after. Generally,
marriage has always been between a man and a woman, yes, although I believe a
few Roman emperors married their horses. It’s safe to say that marriage has
usually been wedded – pardon the expression – to religion. However, that’s led
to such things as forced marriages, not to mention it being difficult to
divorce in those
times when it really is the best thing to do.
But
proponents of gay marriage point out, quite correctly, that there are other
aspects to it. Gays with long time partners (as well as straights who chose not
to marry) can find themselves paying more on taxes and health insurance, losing
out on death benefits, being banned from seeing their partners in medical
facilities, and losing control of their partner’s belongings and burial details
on death.
Okay, that
was two paragraphs of no funny, but I had to lay down the basics. Now, let’s go
to my idea, which will solve all the problems. It’s an idea I came up with
years ago (and I’ve heard it from many others since), but didn’t write about
because I couldn’t make it funny.
(That bodes
ill for the rest of this column, doesn’t it?)
It’s a
compromise that would solve all the problems, which pretty much guarantees that
nobody’s going to like it. But that’s okay: Nobody who makes actual decisions
listens to me, anyway:
Civil
unions for everyone.
The
government gets completely out of the wedding business. Instead, if you want to
be legally wed to your wife/husband/partner/second cousin/farm animal of your
choosing, you go to the courthouse and get a civil union license. (I’m kidding
about the farm animals. They can’t sign the paperwork.)
The civil
unions would be legally binding, and make you a couple under the law. You could
get insurance, tax breaks, joint custody of the test tube babies, hospital
visitation rights, and in-laws. Hey, I didn’t say it was all good.
Marriages
would go back to the churches. You want to get married to someone of the same
sex, that’s fine: Just find a church that approves of gay marriage and will
perform the ceremony. You can get married in whatever way you prefer, if the
religious institution of your choice approves of it. Marry a guy, girl, one of
each, your rich Uncle Murray, yourself, whatever. Since the government isn’t
involved in it, what do they care?
You can
have a civil union and get married.
If you don’t care about the legalities, you can just get married – it won’t be
recognized by the government, but they’re getting worse and worse at
recognizing anything important, anyway.
Do this,
and all my friends will be happy: the conservatives, the gay rights advocates,
and the conservative gay rights advocates (there are some). The most important
affect: I won’t continue getting an ulcer whenever I try to debate this
internally and figure out a way to make everyone happy.
Because I
just did.
Well,
everyone would be happy except for two groups of people: The ones who insist on
having it completely their way, who – let’s face it – are never happy; and the ones who were looking at an excuse not to get
married.
You people
in that last group, just man up – pardon the phrase – and learn to say no. But
don’t tell your significant others I said so.
I’m sure
the rest of us will find something else to fight about.
from rom-com to SF
I just submitted a science fiction short story to Asimov's Science
Fiction. Twenty years after giving up writing SF due to life and other
writing commitments, I'm back in the game.
Speak of the Devil: An Exercise In Stupidity
Speak of the Devil: An Exercise In Stupidity: Saturday was an evening of contrasts. On the one hand, here on Parliament Hill, we had the final evening of three nights of what's call...
Fifty Authors from Fifty States: Carol Larson’s Acquired State of Contrast
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Dad's medical update
If all goes well, my father will start chemotherapy tomorrow morning for Aggressive Mantle Cell Lymphoma, a type of Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. More information about it can be found here:
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/07/080707081821.htm
However, he has to be strong enough for this treatment, which is very taxing on the body and will go on for a few months. He's been having trouble with low potassium and sodium levels, and just recovered from pneumonia. His immune system will be severely weakened, which will limit the number of visitors he can have. Today we dropped off a box full of VHS movies for him, and there's not much more I'll be able to do until this is over.
His bone marrow biopsy still isn't back, so we're not sure if he's in stage 3 or 4, but the treatment is pretty much the same. Thoughts and prayers are appreciated, of course ...
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/07/080707081821.htm
However, he has to be strong enough for this treatment, which is very taxing on the body and will go on for a few months. He's been having trouble with low potassium and sodium levels, and just recovered from pneumonia. His immune system will be severely weakened, which will limit the number of visitors he can have. Today we dropped off a box full of VHS movies for him, and there's not much more I'll be able to do until this is over.
His bone marrow biopsy still isn't back, so we're not sure if he's in stage 3 or 4, but the treatment is pretty much the same. Thoughts and prayers are appreciated, of course ...
Basking In The Afterglow: A Day In The Life Of A Sex Scandalized Politician
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You Don't See Surreal Coming Every Day
SLIGHTLY OFF THE
MARK
Sometimes my life seems a little …
surreal.
Like something out of a TV show
surreal. One of those TV shows where characters are always doing double takes,
and saying things like “that’s new”, or “I did not see that coming”.
For instance, I meet a woman on a
writing website, marry her, and then discover she has all the skills needed to
design a book package at the exact moment when I happen to delve into the
sometimes difficult world of self-publishing. Didn’t see that coming.
Naturally that leads into the
already told story of my book signing for said book, and speaking of surreal: It’s
been over two years since I did my first book signing, and it’s still weird. Does Stephen King ever look
at himself in the mirror and think, “How did all this happen? Wasn’t I just a
nobody teaching school, yesterday? Now cartoon versions of me are doing cameos
on Fox TV shows.”
Then, being Stephen King, he’d go
off and write a story about a writer’s cartoon mirror image doing horrifying
things in an isolated Maine cabin.
The morning of this particular
signing I had to work until 11 a.m., and it started at noon. I didn’t worry
about that, because it was at an entire fire department’s 125th
birthday, and there was lots of stuff besides me going on there. I was a
sideshow.
So I arrived, and found someone had
already bought a book, and someone else was standing there waiting for me. I
put my tote full of book signing stuff down, and signed three books before my
wife set stuff up – before I even got a chance to sit down and catch my breath.
I signed books for retired fire chiefs, for people from fire departments dozens
of miles away, for people I hadn’t seen for years, and for perfect strangers. I
signed one for Indiana State Senator Sue Glick, who had no way of knowing if I
voted for her.
State Senator Sue Glick might not know it, but she just bought my vote for $9.95. |
We sold 65 books, many more than I’d
ever handed out at a signing.
Meanwhile I kept seeing people
wandering around all this cool stuff, and remembered that thirty years ago I
got curious about how old the Albion Fire Department was.
Not that I saw any of this coming at
the time. I was just curious.
Not that I was a major mover,
either. I’m no good at seeing something, and saying “gee, maybe someday this
will be a big deal”. I specifically remember thinking, “Nobody’s going to care
about any of this historical stuff I’m digging up, but I think it’s neat. I
wonder if I could get anyone to read it, someday? Probably not.”
I’m an idea man. This is another way
of saying I have little practical use in real life. Other people put together
our Centennial celebration after I produced the date of the AFD’s founding, and
other people carried the load for the 125th. Since I had to work,
I’m not even the one who set up the signing table – I didn’t even bring the
books. Other firefighters did that.
Phil Jacob was the moving force
behind the 125th. I suspect Phil was thinking he wouldn’t be around
for the 150th, although more likely I’ll be dead and gone and he’ll
still be showing up to calls and wrestling the fire nozzle away from the
rookies.
Phil raised the money, contacted
donors, sketched out plans … he had help from a committee that I’m pretty
darned proud to have been a part of, even though mostly I provided
sometimes-good ideas and snide remarks. His son Sean dove in, as did
firefighter Chris Cavanaugh and former Chief Bob Beckley, who set up an
extrication demo for the event.
The final member, Bob Brownell, is
the one most responsible for all the books we sold that day. It’s because of
him that I got a radio interview. He distributed posters to places I didn’t
know even put up posters. I’d walk into a store three towns away and stop
short, startled to see my book cover (Okay, Emily’s) as part of the anniversary
advertisement. It was …
Surreal.
Bob understands that you have to
cast a wide net. He sent invitations for the event to everyone – including the
White House. Nobody showed from Washington, but I’m sure they were watching.
Didn’t see that coming.
I suppose Freud would have something
to say about the fact that I still don’t quite get the book signing thing. “Oh,
you want me to sign the book for you? Okay … are you sure? It could affect its garage sale value.”
A lot of people probably thought I
was kidding.
But it was that kind of a day. And
it continued to be that kind of a day after the dedication, when I walked over
to get Emily a drink and passed Santa Claus.
That’s
new. Exactly how far did Brownell send invitations?
It was hot that day, so I asked
someone, to make sure I didn’t have heat stroke. “Did I just pass Santa Claus?”
“Yep. There are a lot of Santa
Clauses here. Can you sign my book?”
The Hoosier Santas Club had shown
up, something I didn’t see coming. I ended up taking pictures of them by our
fire truck, and collected their various business cards while we all stood
there, sweating. One of them looked so much like Richard Attenborough that I
kept looking behind me for dinosaurs in case he said, “Welcome to Jurassic
Park”.
It was … well, you know.
But sometimes surreal can be a lot
of fun.
The first rule of Santa club is: You DO NOT talk about Santa club. |
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