How to finish your final draft, or: Just keep going, dummy

 The final draft of The Source Emerald is done!

Wait, let me start over:

The "final draft" of The Source Emerald is done! (Assuming that will continue to be the title.)

There, more accurate. The Source Emerald is about a young FBI agent who is assigned to track down possible gem smugglers, only to discover two of her suspects claim to be foreigners--specifically, from the Land of Oz, which they insist is a real place. And if they don't find the mysterious gems everyone seems to be after, it might be the end of both their worlds.

I suppose it can be considered urban fantasy--I wasn't thinking in terms of genre when I wrote it. You might remember that my word count changed from draft to draft, starting at 67,515, peaking at 70,294 with the second draft, then dropping to 69,028. Now, after polishing and going through the whole thing line by line to check for voice and errors, I'm left with 69,370 words. I added some here and there for clarity, but also cut a lot out of one of the later chapters.

So, from the first word typed on November 1st to the "final" version, it took me just under three months to finish an almost 70,000 word novel. Yay, me! (I did do some outlining and research in October.)

Now Emily gets it.

Emily was holding my granddaughter hostage until I finished my draft!! Hey, I don't make stuff up.

 

My wife/editor/IT department/cover artist doesn't take any crap from me. The manuscript will come back full of red words, with numerous notes in the margins. She'll tell me what does and doesn't make sense, what word choice is wrong, where I'm being long winded, and what food is best for me. Well, that last one isn't directly connected.

Then I'll go through the whole thing all over again, because writing is editing. When it's finally, completely, for sure done, I'll put it in a file and go over to reread We Love Trouble, the book I went through all this with last year. When The Source Emerald has sufficiently cooled, I'll try to read it for entertainment, like a regular reader, and we'll see.

This is the writing process. The process is boring to everyone but the writer, and sometimes even to them. But it's the best way I know to get a good product.

Also, I can't write without the dog keeping a close eye on me. I think he's spying for Emily.

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Book Review: Stardust, by Neil Gaiman

I think I've said this before, but one wonders why I should bother reviewing a twenty year old book whose author surely doesn't need my help.

Ah, but it was new to me. Emily and I found Neil Gaiman's Stardust on audio book, read by the author himself, and enjoyed it immensely during some long trips over the summer of 2019. (I wrote this in early 2020, so if it seems a year old ...)

In the mid 1800's young Tristran Thorn lives in a little village called Wall, which gets its name from a literal wall with one doorway ... a door to the world of the Faerie. He's out to win the heart of the beautiful Victoria, so when he sees a star falling on the other side of the wall he vows to fetch it for her. She agrees to marry him if he brings back the star, but doesn't really take him or his quest seriously.

What he doesn't know is that when a star falls in the other world it takes the form of a young woman; and that Tristran isn't the only person in search of it. Her fate is intertwined with brothers fighting over a lordly title, and witches trying to prolong their lives. Then there are ghosts, an enchanted bird, air pirates, and, of course, a unicorn.

Stardust is very much a journey tale, created first as a "story book with pictures" -- meaning my wife and I missed part of how it was originally intended to be experienced. (It was also turned into a movie that we haven't seen.) The text by itself is good enough, as Tristran makes his way through the faerie world, meeting all sorts of quirky characters and encountering--often without knowing it--the people who are competing with him for their now more or less human prize.

Gaiman knows how to spin a tale. The story actually begins a generation earlier, with events that at first don't seem all that connected with Tristran's adventures. I've always admired authors who managed to weave a story that must have required scorecards, family trees, flow charts, and maybe one whole wall of notes. Luckily it's not all that complicated for the reader (ahem--listener), and if anything's the mark of a master storyteller, it's that.

There are plenty of worse ways to spend your time than to track down and read everything Gaiman writes, and I do believe I might just try it. And you could do worse than starting with Stardust, a fun and surprisingly deep fantasy that--believe me--is much more for adults than kids.

 

 

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Siblings ... wedding siblings

I wanted to post this to celebrate how much better my brother Jeff is doing at the moment. After a years long battle with lung cancer and then a fungus infection in his lung, he was given just two weeks to live--a month ago. Not that he's out of the woods, but he's eating some, has gained about five pounds, and is looking a lot better. So I thought I'd post these pictures stumbled across from our sister's wedding, way back in ... well, let's not think about how long ago it was.

In the first one Penny looks great, but I get the distinct impression I'm pretending to be James Bond and Jeff is playing the latest suave Bond Villain. Or ... do I look a little like Gomez from The Addams Family?

In the second one, I feel more like a stereotypical English butler. "I'm sorry,  sir, but I'm very much afraid you must shave an inch from that beard before the master will see you." But Jeff looks really good--I wonder if the reason why he so often clowns around in front of the camera is because he figures he can't do much better than this one? Let's force him into another bow tie and find out.

Cutting edge book editing

 So, the first draft of The Source Emerald weighed in at 67,515. The second draft topped out at 70,294. Now I've finished the third draft, and the new word count? 69,028. An increase of 2,779 words, followed by a decrease of 1,266 words.

But not the same words.

My third draft was a seek and destroy mission against certain words that can weaken your writing. Words that can make your writing too passive, such as "was". Adverbs. Words ending with "ing" that can become repetitive. Unnecessary words: For instance, instead of "stood up", why not just "stood"? Take up out, and make it stand down.

The word "suddenly" makes an action less sudden. Don't have too many "has". Don't tell the reader a character "felt" something ... show them feeling it.

Unlike some writers, I don't believe you have to stamp out every single one of these words. Treat them as a spice: Put in too many, and the mix isn't right. Despite what Stephen King says, I do have adverbs in my writing ... just not too many of them.

And now? The fourth draft. Time to work on voice and characterization a little.

Don't forget to check out the new short story!

http://www.eastoftheweb.com/short-stories/UBooks/EverKnow1183.shtml

Remember, books are the best entertainment: You don't have to worry about whether the CGI will be any good.

 

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new short story: Everybody Knows Your Name

 My science fiction short story, "Everybody Knows Your Name", is available to read on the East Of the Web website:

http://www.eastoftheweb.com/short-stories/UBooks/EverKnow1183.shtml

It's about a scientist whose invention doesn't cause the problems most people think of ... instead, he finds an entirely new worry.

Remarkably, it only took about a week from the time they accepted this story until it came out. My last published short story took four months from acceptance to publication! But in that case there was also a print version of the magazine, while East Of the Web is e-pub only.

Let me know if you like it! Don't let me know if you don't like it. Yeah, I can take it, but I don't want to.

 

 

Remember, if you like a short story, it gets a chance to grow up and become a real boy.

 

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Another short story sold

 I got great news to start the new year--in fact, it came in just after 6 a.m. on New Year's Day! Which might be why I didn't find it until January 3rd.

But good news delayed is still good news: I sold a short story to an online magazine, East of the Web. "Everybody Knows Your Name" is a story about an inventor who discovers his fears about a new technology are baseless. instead, he finds an entirely new fear.

 I'll let you know when I get a release date, of course. Here's their website:

http://www.eastoftheweb.com/

Guess I'll have to write a new one, now!

 

 

Remember, any short story that eats a balanced diet and takes their vitamins might grow up one day to be a famous novel.

 

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