Healthy Houseplants Puzzle Plant Killer

Plants in our house are prospering quite well, and seem to be in perfect health.

I don’t know what to do with them.

This is a … well, I don’t know what it is, but it’s growing. Isn’t that a common line in horror movies?

 

I’ve never had a healthy, growing plant before. They’re getting so big, some needed to be transplanted into larger pots — something I never thought I’d have to deal with. Not that we don’t have other pots: I’ve got a whole graveyard full, piled in a corner of the garage. A plant transplant has never been an issue for me, because there’s no point in transplanting something dead.

 

Usually our plants look more like a limb that got torn out of the tree by a storm and ended up broken and crushed in the front yard. Like this one.

 

At the moment they’re enjoying the outside weather, but they’ll come in for the winter and huddle shivering in a corner, just like I do. One is an aloe plant, and yes: You can use those to treat burns. We have a little experience there. Another one is a vine thingy that likes to wander, and there’s a tall, stiff-leaked whatchamacallit that just sits there, getting taller. Plants are a good thing: They filter the air, provide oxygen, look good, and seldom have to go out for a walk.

 

We do have a lot of flowering plants in our yard. Well, most people call them weeds.

 

So I should be happy, but frankly, it’s freaking me out. I’ve been having nightmares of the plants wanting revenge for their dead comrades. Soon they’re taking over the house: sending roots all over, turning lights on and off, running up the utility bills. I wake up screaming, “They’re alive! THEY’RE ALIVE!  Close the fridge door, they’re letting the cold air out! Don’t touch my Mountain Dew!”

Okay, so my dreams aren’t all that exciting. But usually the only things that prosper in our house are the mice, and ... say. You don't suppose the mice are amateur gardeners? 


Remember, every book you buy keeps me in plant food.

 

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Notes On the Haunted Writing Project

 A few thoughts on our upcoming book project, which is tentatively titled Spooky Noble County, or: Hoosier Ya' Gonna Call?

(Kidding! I'm just calling it Haunted Noble County, although History Press may have something to say about that.)

I'll probably cut down to posting one blog a week, for now. I post based on my work schedule, which amounted to one on the weekend, one the next Wednesday or so, one the next Monday or so; repeat. Luckily I have some good blogs already written and waiting, along with some bad blogs. That'll give me more time for research and writing, plus in September I'll be on vacation, which will make things complicated.

I just realized I'm doing vacations wrong: They're supposed to be less complicated.

This is what a less complicated vacation looks like.

Emily and I want to tour around Noble County, looking for spooky/haunted things/places to take pictures of. If a ghost shows up, that's just gravy.

By the way, I knew about Spook Hill, although I haven't been there for many years; I also knew about Sand Hill, which is the second highest hill in Indiana. What I didn't know is that the Spook Hill Cemetery (that's not its real name) is actually ON Sand Hill.

Emily wanted to know who determined these things. Did they count the Indiana Dunes? How about Brown County? I assured her surveyors have pretty good rulers, although climbing up three feet at a time can be a pain.

Anyway, we'll use two cameras: The newer one, called the Blue Camera, has better pixel thingies, for photos so sharp you'll need bandages. The older one, called the Black Camera, can switch from automatic to manual for more creative photography.

The black camera looks something like this one. You know: black.


Sadly, I had neither with me when I spotted what I thought would be perfect for a book cover:


Isn't it cool? I KNOW! But it was an off the cuff picture snapped with my cell phone, and cuff photos often don't cut it. So every time there's a storm forecast I'm going to stand in the same spot with the blue camera (it's waterproof) and wait for my chance. Or maybe I'll get lucky and someone will donate an historical photo that's better.

Meanwhile I have a list of people to talk to now, and tales of haunted places around the county I didn't know about. I intend to do the bulk of the interviewing and researching in September ... we'll see. But I have deadlines now, so I can't slack off.

I mean, I can ... but Emily recently bought a whip, and the more she practices, the more nervous I get.


By the way, while this process is going on you're all welcome to check out our previous historical books, or humor books, or fiction, or, by gosh, anything else you want, 'cause this is America! Remember, writers live on reviews, purchases, and coffee ... and I don't drink coffee, so don't let me metaphorically starve.


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