Coming Soon to a Podcast Near Me

 Believe it or not, I haven't gotten around to counting exactly how many books we sold last Saturday at Albion's Fall Celebration. We tried to keep track, but--things happen. It was somewhere around two dozen. That's pretty good, especially when you consider Butterfly Alley Gifts has been selling them from their shop only half a block away.

My books are so bright, I gotta wear shades.

Next on the agenda: Emily and I are guests Sunday on a local podcast, "Easily Distracted by Cemeteries". It's not live (I don't think), but when it's up you'll be able to find it here:

https://rss.com/podcasts/easilydistractedbycemeteries/

 They're a local group based near Diamond Lake Hill, the area where some of the more memorable stories in Haunted Noble County, Indiana take place. (The lake is not ON the hill; it's next to the hill.) They're closing in on their second year of podcasting, and their shows are lots of fun.

Our latest book is directly related to the podcast subject, so they reached out to us as guests. We'll try to be good ones! And we could use the publicity, because before our author appearance I did an inventory of our books. Keep in mind we've only had one book signing since COVID started, and our author stuff was scattered all over the house.

Fun fact: When you count all twelve of our publications, we have 274 books at home. Granted, the lion's share is the newest, but still. It seems I was building up books for our pubic appearances just before the pandemic, which ended public appearances for awhile.

Which is why I'm glad to have more chances to speak to potential readers, even if introverts like Emily and I have to spend a few days recharging afterward. So I'm happy to say we're appearing on October 17th, 5 p.m., at the Ligonier Public Library--which is haunted! Not to worry: As you'll read in Haunted Noble County, Indiana, it's a friendly ghost. I'll do a little presentation, hopefully interrupted by some books floating off the shelves. Afterward, hopefully, other books will be flying off our display table.

The address is 300 S. Main Street, and it's not hard to find.

Thank you for the library, Mr. Carnegie.

 

 Then, on October 30--the day before Halloween--we'll be appearing at the Community Learning Center in Kendallville. I'm going to go all out with being as entertaining as humanly possible, answer lots of questions, and be an all-around "good times had by all" person.

Why? Because the CLC is going to be taking tickets.

Here's a sign-up and information link:

https://commevents.eventcalendarapp.com/haunted-noble-county

 It's $15, worth it for anyone with an interest in ghosts, history, or a touch of humor. Like many authors, I have a hard time imagining that anyone would pay money to see me. (At least I've finally come to accept that my writing is worth paying for!) It's kind of a writer thing: Many of us have low self-esteem after years of banging our head against the walls of publishing. Often we write because we think of ourselves of bad speakers. But not to worry: I've done this before. The trick is to practice in front of a mirror, then take your act to the neighbors' dogs. If they don't bite you, you're doing fine.

Besides, we have a lot of books.

 

 So please visit us in the old Kendallville High School that's also the old Kendallville Middle School, at 401 E. Diamond Street, from 6-7:30 p.m. It's in the Assembly Room, which I haven't seen since they fixed the place up, but I assume it's a good area in which to assemble. Drinks and snacks of the non-alcoholic variety will be available.

 

 And, of course, you can find our books and us in all the usual places:

 

·        Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

·        Barnes & Noble:  https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

·        Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

·        Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

·        Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

·        Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

·        Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

·        Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

·        Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

·        Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

·        Substack:  https://substack.com/@markrhunter

·        Tumblr:  https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

·        Smashwords:  https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

·        Audible:  https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

 

Remember: Every time you see an author, your brain glows a little. Like a ghost.

Our Author Appearance Necessity List

 It's been a few years since Emily and I did an author appearance, so I dug up this blog from back then just to remind myself. We're going to be at Albion's Fall Celebration this Saturday, on the Courthouse Square. Never mind the weather--we'll figure it out.

I'm sure you all added our upcoming author appearances to your calendars and phones, and possibly had the dates tattooed backward to your foreheads. I mean, all those vendors together--it'll be Indiana's social event of the decade. (Although I'm told the world's biggest greased pig chase and cornhole contest will be next year in Muncie, so we might be in second place.)

If I did post a link to the 10 am - 2 pm event, which includes a classic car cruise-in, food, and almost two dozen vendors, I'd put it here:

https://www.albionstarteam.org/fall-celebration

 But I won't. It's our first author appearance since 2022--even before COVID we didn't do them often, so I started a list of what we needed to bring. Then I realized, surely I already made a list? I do that. I went back and sure enough, there it was.

So, what does every good author, and most of the bad ones, need to bring?

1. Books. This is kinda important. If you do a book signing, you should have something to sign.

2. Change. When one goes somewhere to sell books, one must assume some books will be sold. Thus: change for those high rollers who walk around with hundred dollar bills. (I don't know any of them, either.)

3. A calculator or, these days, a calculator app. After all, the whole reason I became a writer is because I can't do math in my head.

4. Tylenol. You'd be surprised. No, probably you wouldn't.

5. A camera. My wife took a photo of me signing a book for an Indiana State Senator who, apparently not having read my columns about politicians, was very nice. You never know what you might get a picture of when you're out in the public.

6. Paper and pens. The pens are to, duh, sign books. The paper is because, even though We'll have phones with us, I don't trust technology.

7. A tarp and an umbrella, if the venue is outside. There's a reason why books aren't usually sold outdoors, but I laugh in the face of danger. Well, I cringe, which looks a little like laughing, if you squint. (I just looked at the forecast, and I'm scared.)

8. Business cards. Emily designed me my very own business card! Sometimes, when it's slow at events, I sneak around the crowds and pull the opposite of pick pocketing, leaving my calling card behind. Come on, you knew that was me.

9. A table and chairs. The basics, right? We bought a folding chair that's so comfortable I'm thinking of throwing away our couch. I can't find it.

10. Liquid refreshments. I'm thinking water. Hey, I don't need any help from alcohol to look foolish.

11. Displays and signs. To display stuff ... like signs.

12. Scotch Tape. It's the author's duct tape.

A lot of that stuff will fit nicely into the totes we bought for the purpose, although, man, books can get heavy when you're carrying them a long way. The good news is, we have actual copies of all our books for the first time, now that Storm Squalls is in print. How about you other authors? What's on your "to-bring" list? And what would you potential readers like to see an author supplied with?

Remember, every time you miss an author event, Edgar Allan Poe rolls over in his grave. You don't want to wake that guy up.

(But if you can't make it, find our books at:)

·        Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

·        Barnes & Noble:  https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

·        Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

·        Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

·        Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

·        Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

·        Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

·        Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

·        Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

·        Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

·        Substack:  https://substack.com/@markrhunter

·        Tumblr:  https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

·        Smashwords:  https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

·        Audible:  https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Some authors can only appear on the full moon, so be nice to them.

Avoiding the Kick Zone

Emily works at a saddle barn, guiding trails at Pokagon State Park here in Indiana. Emily is, shall we say, height challenged. I don't believe it's PC to say  "short" anymore. But one thing I've learned from watching her work is that she knows how to get much bigger animals to do what she wants.

She knows how to get me to do what she wants too, but at least I don't have to wear a bridal. Well, except that one time.

I've learned a lot about horses from talking to her and watching her work. Horses are even a large part of my mystery/humor/supernatural novel We Love Trouble, which I hope you all get to read someday. She'll have to be listed in the book as "technical consultant".

Did you stick your tongue out at me, young man? Um, young horse?

 

That's why I know about the Kick Zone.

If you walk behind a horse, you either want to be right behind it, or drop back about a mile and a half. If you're close, but far enough away that the horse can wind up for a kick, you might soon find yourself landing in a tree.

You don't want to be in the Kick Zone.

Earlier this year I drove to Pokagon to pick up Emily. It gave me a chance to introduce myself to the new mule, who Emily described as "rather large". The Saddle barn had two mules. Freddy, who had his own Facebook and Instagram accounts before he passed, was normal sized. for a mule. The other one I hadn't seen yet, but as I walked up to her I imagined what Freddy said at first sight:

"It's a giant! Mulezilla!"

That's Molly with Emily, and no, this is not a trick of perspective.

 

Molly is the tallest equine animal in the Midwest. Horses and mules are usually measured by hands, but Molly is eight legs tall. Petting her was like trying to put out a forest fire: It's hard to tell where to start. It takes Emily five steps to get into her saddle, with the first step involving the word "trampoline" and the last step being to put on a high-altitude oxygen mask.

I'm just sayin', big mule.

After we got to know each other, Emily untied Molly and led her toward the barn, past me, which is okay because I'm to her side as she goes by. But that was when something spooked her. The mule, I mean, not Emily. The animals know better than to pull away from Emily, but the plastic bag, or crunched leaf, or perceived insult made her swing her back side around until it was aimed at me. The mule, not Emily.

I was in the Kick Zone.

There's only one thing to do: Flee. I backpedaled, reaching approximately warp 9 in half a second. Even the USS Enterprise can't reach that speed by going backward, but I did. Of course, the Enterprise might accidentally back into the Klingons, and I'd hate to fill out that road rage report.

Directly behind me was the end of the hitching line. It was a plastic pipe, maybe four inches in diameter, with the end aimed right at the small of my back like a police battering ram. Only less fun.

 

Molly with the offending railing end.

I did not scream when I backed into it at Warp 9, which, as you'll remember, is very fast. I did say something, which I'll just code as "Klingon! Oh, Klingon!"

I said "Klingon" several times.

The moral of this story is "situational awareness". It's also that you should keep ibuprofen, ice, and that green stuff from the chiropractor close by at all times. The chiropractor should also be close by.

Molly never kicked. I suppose her mind was on whatever spooked her: a candy wrapper, a passing mosquito, maybe the realization that Lost will never make sense. The hitching post just laughed off the incident. I drove us home with no problems, although it took several people to pry me out of the car and carry me to the couch. I'm now working on the outline of a novel about evil hitching posts that attack the unwary, and I'm calling it "Post Ghosts". M. Night Shymalan already has the movie rights.

 Yes, horses do appear in some of my books, specifically the Storm Chaser series. Find them all here:

 

·        Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

·        Barnes & Noble:  https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

·        Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

·        Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

·        Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

·        Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

·        Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

·        Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

·        Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

·        Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

·        Substack:  https://substack.com/@markrhunter

·        Tumblr:  https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

·        Smashwords:  https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

·        Audible:  https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

 

Remember: Just thinking about horses costs money for a horse lover, so help us with sales and reviews!