SLIGHTLY OFF THE MARK
We have a
holiday coming up that many refer to as the Fourth of July, also known as
Fireworks and Cookout Day. Its proper name is Independence Day, in that it’s
the anniversary of the day thirteen of England’s New World colonies declared
they wanted to be their own separate countries. (Canada opted out.)
Then, as
soon as they became separate countries, they un-separated and became the United
States.
Only about
a third of the population really wanted to be independent; another third kinda
liked being part of the most powerful empire in the world, and the last third
just didn’t care one way or another, as long as they were left alone. In other
words, people haven’t changed much from then to now.
This whole
thing came about because a bunch of people who dressed funny sat in an un-air
conditioned room during a heat wave, and decided they were upset about just
about everything. This is why riots usually begin in the summer, people.
So the group, known as the
Continental Congress because they happened to be on a continent at the time,
put five men to work drafting something they called a Declaration of
Independence: John Adams, Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, Robert R.
Livingston, and Roger Sherman.
Surely you’re familiar with all
those guys? Okay, most of them?
In the tradition of committees
everywhere, they mostly sat around and gossiped about King George while one
man, Jefferson, did all the work. He wanted Adams to write it, but Jefferson
was the only one with a portable desk, what with him being the man who invented
it.
John Adams was so happy with the
result that he declared that day would be remembered forever with “pomp and
parade, shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, illuminations, and
Franklin’s newly patented break dancing routine”. Quite the prognosticator.
Unfortunately,
Adams was referring to July 2nd,
the day the Second Continental Congress actually approved the resolution for
independence. (The First Continental Congress did little, approving only the
Continental Breakfast Resolution that provided for food wherever George
Washington slept.)
It wasn’t
until two days later that the Congress actually announced the Declaration,
giving them time to go through poll information and plan fact-finding trips to
the Caribbean. In fact, everyone in Congress except John Hancock waited until
August 2nd to sign the thing,
just to make sure Hancock wouldn’t get hanged by the British.
So you see,
it isn’t just these days that Congress holds off on taking chances.
It made me
wonder about other things I’d heard related to the Declaration of Independence,
so I checked out an old story about the hardships the fifty-six signers went
through. As is usual, some of the story is true, and some of it not so much.
Five
signers were captured by the British, who were probably a little peeved about
the whole thing. Four of those five had left Congress to actually fight
alongside the Rebel troops, which just goes to show you how boring Congress
was. The fifth was dragged out of his bed by British sympathizers just after he
evacuated his family from New Jersey. The angry Tories punished him by making
him stay in New Jersey.
About a
dozen had their homes ransacked and burned during the war. However, looting,
vandalizing, and burning homes of people you didn’t like was a big pastime back
then, because they didn’t yet have hockey or soccer.
Nine
signers died during the war, but only one from gunshot wounds. And … ahem …
those wounds were received in a duel with a fellow officer. Remember, they
weren’t big on organized sports back then, so you had to pass the time however
you could.
The truth
is, a lot of the signers went through hardships not because they signed, but
because they happened to be in a nation that was revolting against its parent
country. Some of them lost their lives, or the lives of relatives; some went
through great financial difficulties; some were hounded and hunted by the
British. In other words, they risked their “lives, fortunes, and sacred honor”.
Some went
out and fought with the troops against the British. Some stayed in politics for
years, thus endangering their very souls. One sailed over to France and carried
on with the royal court and a bunch of French women, but hey – it’s Benjamin
Franklin. What can you do?
One of them
was named William Whipple, and wasn’t that punishment enough?
(By the
way, Whipple was a very successful military leader, so it would probably have
been best not to make fun of his name to his face.)
What lesson
do we take from this? That we’d still be British, if we’d only had air
conditioning? That the real opiate of the masses is organized sports? That you
can get named Button Gwinnett, grow up in Georgia, and still survive to sign
the Declaration of Independence?
Well, yeah.
Another
lesson is that when good people are faced with hardship and oppression, they
can face the challenge, do what should be done instead of what can be done, and
accomplish great things – even if it goes against their personal interests.
That’s reason enough to remember the reason for the holiday.
Even
if they did dress funny.
