Reviews of Indiana Jones and The Guardians of The Galaxy, and Stuff

 It's been such a crazy month I was just going to throw out one of my pre-written blogs. (I save up, just as I did with my newspaper column, in case of crazy months.) But instead here are a few quick things for whoever might happen to be reading blogs in the middle of summer.

Emily and I have only gone out to the movies twice this year, most recently to see Indiana Jones and The Dial of Destiny.

Yes, Harrison Ford gets the CGI treatment for a flashback; yes, it's really well done; no, it's not distracting unless you make it be. Yes, there are Nazis and time travel, although they don't combine in the way I expected. Yes, you can tell Ford is too old for this crap in "modern" times, which in this case is 1969; in fact, they hang a lantern on it more than once.

Jones has come across hard times due to a family tragedy. He's retiring from a teaching job in a small New York college (Hunter College, no relation), and doesn't have much to look forward until his goddaughter shows up, looking for a piece of ancient tech made by the Greek inventor Archimedes himself. Unfortunately, a whole bunch of people with guns are right on her heels.

And that's all I'll say about the plot, other than that, like any good Indiana Jones movie, there's a macguffin, and the Nazis want it. We get great action sequences, exotic locations, callbacks to earlier movies, and cameos from some favorite characters. It also gets murky from time to time, both in plot and when the action is a little too fast and/or a little too dark.

Is it worth a movie ticket? Yes. I'd put it as the third best Indiana Jones movie, after the original and the other one with Nazis.

 

 Meanwhile the apparently last Guardians of the Galaxy movie also came out, and was awesome on the big screen. (Okay, so that picture's from a previous one.) But be warned: It gets dark, mostly because it includes the origin story of Rocket Raccoon, and it is NOT a fun origin story.

I won't go into detail, because it's been out long enough now that you've probably either seen it or decided not to, but it's one of the better Marvel movies of recent years and well worth seeing in the theater. You might tear up once or twice, though, so bring a tissue or wait until it's on video.

Otherwise I just have my usual stuff. Coming Attractions remains a free ebook on Smashwords until the end of the month:

https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

The new versions of Storm Chaser and Storm Squalls are on Amazon, and hopefully other locations soon:

https://www.amazon.com/stores/Mark-R-Hunter/author/B0058CL6OO?

 

 That author interview should still be up on a Canvas Rebel:

canvasrebel.com/meet-mark-r-hunter/

 

And I miss the dog. Here's hoping Canada gets rain--but not too much--and the rest of summer goes more smoothly for everyone.

Not too much rain!

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Beowulf Has Crossed the Rainbow Bridge

No one knows where Beowulf came from.

The above is one of the first photos I ever took of him. Beowulf was found wandering the fields around Huntington County, Indiana, southwest of Fort Wayne. To this day no one knows where he came from--he wore a collar so rusted it couldn't be unbuckled, and had to be cut off. Clearly he'd had a rough life for awhile.

 

He was very serious, and also very curious. I suspect he was mistreated by his former owner, because he would whine instead of bark, and was a little jumpy when touched. We did our best to make him feel at home, and I think it worked: One day he got off his line in the backyard, and when I started a panicked search I found him patiently waiting at the front door.

 

Gradually he relaxed and, as will happen, became family. He never chewed on anything unless he knew he was allowed to, and when someone passed by he would bark at them for one reason: He wanted us to let them in so he could make friends. (Having said that, he saw any animal smaller than him as food, giving us some insight into his former life.)

He loved every kid who came around, and most adults--unless he detected alcohol on their breath. Then he'd start to growl and become protective, which perhaps gives us another look into his past.

 

Like us he loved to travel, but he also loved to get home.

But he got old, as dogs do, and people. Neuropathy, hip dysplasia, hearing loss, cognitive problems. We were okay with him sleeping a lot--heck, I sleep a lot. But wandering in circles, steering himself into corners and just standing there, whining when he should have been comfortable ...

Sometimes there comes a time when you have to consider if you're keeping them around for their happiness--or yours. We got him about six months after Emily and I were married. The vet's estimation of his age meant he was around sixteen years old. It was time.

In the last photo ever taken with the three of us together, Emily and I were smiling, kind of. I think I can speak for both of us when I saw they were forced smiles.

 I'd like to give a shout-out to Line Street Veterinary Hospital in Columbia City, a place we'd gotten more and more familiar with in recent years. You don't have a pet for eleven years and just let him go with a "he's just a dog". They understood that. They let us in through a private door, set out last treats, and gave us all the time we needed, which was a fair amount. We fed him Hershey's Kisses because, as the jar they were in said, no one should pass away without tasting chocolate first.

He wasn't just a dog. He was family. Now he's crossed the rainbow bridge, to frolic with the family members who came before him (as Emily told him to at the end). There aren't any words to describe how much he'll be missed.

http://markrhunter.com/
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

 

 

Coming Attractions Free In July

(I have to keep reminding people--I want them to get that free book!)

 

 In case you missed it, from now until July 31st we'll be participating in the Smashwords Summer/Winter sale!

Because it's summer up here and winter down under, you see. I'm sure it made sense to them at the time. And let's face it: For most people, July is either too hot or too cold to go out anyway, so you might as well read a good book.

My Smashwords novel is Coming Attractions, a romantic comedy set, yes, during summer in northern Indiana. I'm happy when someone buys a print copy, but in July you can get it on e-book for free, which is almost a dollar less than its normal 99 cent cost. I do math. I do, too.

 

The catch: It's part of the Smashwords promotion, which means, let's face it, that you have to get it on Smashwords. That would follow, wouldn't it? But you can get it there on on epub, mobi, and pdf formats, or as an original document. It should be readable to anyone with an e-reader, cell phone, or computer. (Due to recent air quality problems, Smashwords has canceled their smoke signal program.)

 

All the participating authors can be found here: https://www.smashwords.com/shelves/promos starting, as mentioned, on July 1st. If you want to go directly to my account, it's at https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914. There you'll also find the two fiction anthologies I have stories in, also at the attractive cost of zero.

 

Say, I need a front porch swing.

This is indie author territory, and indie authors could always use the help. So please, check it out and share the promo with your friends and family, and anyone looking for their next favorite book.

 Happy reading!

 

 

 

 

As usual, all our books can be found at:

http://markrhunter.com/
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

 Remember, people who don't take free books get laughed at by their pets. You already amuse your cat enough.

Happy July Second, Kevlar!

 This is a repost, because now that fireworks are an all-summer thing my nerves are shot. Also because I've been busy promoting the reissued Storm Chaser, which is, after all, set in summer.

 John Adams, signer of the Declaration of Independence, Second U.S. President, and all around unpleasant guy, had this to say about America's Independence Day:

"It ought to be solemnized with Pomp and Parade, with Shows, Games, Sports, Guns, Bells, Bonfires and Illuminations, from one End of this Continent to the other, from this Time forward--forever more."

 In other words, he thought it would be a pretty big deal, and he was right. Those Founding Fathers, they were smart cookies. Adams, Tom Jefferson, the guy who kept putting his John Hancock on things, and of course Bill, the Earl of Rights ... They were generally good, smart men, who only wanted to, you know, overturn the government.

Of course John Adams also said this:

"The Second Day of July 1776, will be the most memorable Epoch in the History of America."

Wait.

The Second?

Nobody's perfect.

"Hey, bud--let's party!"

 

Actually, Adams had a point: The Continental Congress did indeed approve a motion to change the United Colonies into the United States on July 2. It was the first big bureaucratic boondoggle, requiring the government to print up new letterheads, buy rubber stamps, and change the seal on the Presidential Podium. Not to mention they had to fund an army.

But, in yet another classic case of putting the cart full of red tape before the red, white and blue horse, the Congress then spent two days editing the Declaration of Independence before they finally approved it--on July 4th. So that date got printed at the top, and eventually led to our National holiday.

The Founders didn't care. They hated John Adams so much that they didn't take any of his suggestions for bells, bonfires and such, anyway. Adams' last words, as he died on July 4th, 1826, were: "Thomas Jefferson still survives. Why isn't he setting off fireworks?"

Adams didn't know that Jefferson had died five hours earlier. Jefferson's last recorded words were: "Is it the Fourth?" When offered painkiller, he added, "No, doctor, nothing more. Make no noise that would make that ass Adams think we're celebrating."

As a result, the first recorded noise complaint to police didn't take place until the night of August 24th, 1814, in the city of Washington. I just happen to have transcripts of the call to police:

"This noise has been going on for hours. I have kids, and I have to get up early to go to work!"

"Sir, you don't understand: The British are burning Washington!"

"Well ... can't they do it more quietly?"

Ironically, the first recorded celebration of Independence Day was on September 13 of that same year, 1814, during The War of 1812.

 (I suppose it's for the best that we didn't call it The War of 1812-1815, which doesn't roll off the tongue so well.)

The British were not huge John Adams fans. Still, they had it on good authority that Adams was busy in Massachusetts, debating with its legislature the best way to spell Massachusetts. (A name definitely decided by committee.) So they brought all their cannon, mortars, and rockets, in an attempt to crash the party being thrown at Baltimore's Fort McHenry.

But the Americans manning the fort had a secret weapon: a giant American flag, made of Kevlar.

Most people think Kevlar was introduced in 1971, but in reality Benjamin Franklin invented it accidentally in 1784, while trying to invent a stronger condom. Apparently he was still fuming about his son William being named Governor of New Jersey--royal Governor of the colony of New Jersey, on behalf of the King. Not long before he died, Franklin was heard to say, "I'll never have another child! ... well, hello, ladies!"

It's not recorded where he said this.

Your flag may vary.

 

The Kevlar was adapted into a flag, allegedly by one of Franklin's great-grand-daughters, and repelled everything the British could throw at it. This led an onlooker to write a poem that was later turned into a song:

Oh, say, can you see,

blocking Franklin's pee-pee?

No latex surrounding--

 but this stuff can take a pounding.

The lyrics were later changed by the Daughters of the American Revolution.

So it took a lot of time and history type stuff, but in the end Adams was right about the holiday, if not the date. From one end of the continent to the other, we make noise, flash lights, burn stuff, and generally annoy each other. I'm not sure if everyone doing that stuff actually gets why ...

But we're still here.

I can see my house from here!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

If you really want to have fun on an Independence Day picnic, bring along a book that has the American Flag on the front.

http://markrhunter.com/
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"