How to finish your final draft, or: Just keep going, dummy

 The final draft of The Source Emerald is done!

Wait, let me start over:

The "final draft" of The Source Emerald is done! (Assuming that will continue to be the title.)

There, more accurate. The Source Emerald is about a young FBI agent who is assigned to track down possible gem smugglers, only to discover two of her suspects claim to be foreigners--specifically, from the Land of Oz, which they insist is a real place. And if they don't find the mysterious gems everyone seems to be after, it might be the end of both their worlds.

I suppose it can be considered urban fantasy--I wasn't thinking in terms of genre when I wrote it. You might remember that my word count changed from draft to draft, starting at 67,515, peaking at 70,294 with the second draft, then dropping to 69,028. Now, after polishing and going through the whole thing line by line to check for voice and errors, I'm left with 69,370 words. I added some here and there for clarity, but also cut a lot out of one of the later chapters.

So, from the first word typed on November 1st to the "final" version, it took me just under three months to finish an almost 70,000 word novel. Yay, me! (I did do some outlining and research in October.)

Now Emily gets it.

Emily was holding my granddaughter hostage until I finished my draft!! Hey, I don't make stuff up.
 

My wife/editor/IT department/cover artist doesn't take any crap from me. The manuscript will come back full of red words, with numerous notes in the margins. She'll tell me what does and doesn't make sense, what word choice is wrong, where I'm being long winded, and what food is best for me. Well, that last one isn't directly connected.

Then I'll go through the whole thing all over again, because writing is editing. When it's finally, completely, for sure done, I'll put it in a file and go over to reread We Love Trouble, the book I went through all this with last year. When The Source Emerald has sufficiently cooled, I'll try to read it for entertainment, like a regular reader, and we'll see.

This is the writing process. The process is boring to everyone but the writer, and sometimes even to them. But it's the best way I know to get a good product.



Also, I can't write without the dog keeping a close eye on me. I think he's spying for Emily.


Book Review: Stardust, by Neil Gaiman

I think I've said this before, but one wonders why I should bother reviewing a twenty year old book whose author surely doesn't need my help.

Ah, but it was new to me. Emily and I found Neil Gaiman's Stardust on audio book, read by the author himself, and enjoyed it immensely during some long trips over the summer of 2019. (I wrote this in early 2020, so if it seems a year old ...)

In the mid 1800's young Tristran Thorn lives in a little village called Wall, which gets its name from a literal wall with one doorway ... a door to the world of the Faerie. He's out to win the heart of the beautiful Victoria, so when he sees a star falling on the other side of the wall he vows to fetch it for her. She agrees to marry him if he brings back the star, but doesn't really take him or his quest seriously.

What he doesn't know is that when a star falls in the other world it takes the form of a young woman; and that Tristran isn't the only person in search of it. Her fate is intertwined with brothers fighting over a lordly title, and witches trying to prolong their lives. Then there are ghosts, an enchanted bird, air pirates, and, of course, a unicorn.

Stardust is very much a journey tale, created first as a "story book with pictures" -- meaning my wife and I missed part of how it was originally intended to be experienced. (It was also turned into a movie that we haven't seen.) The text by itself is good enough, as Tristran makes his way through the faerie world, meeting all sorts of quirky characters and encountering--often without knowing it--the people who are competing with him for their now more or less human prize.

Gaiman knows how to spin a tale. The story actually begins a generation earlier, with events that at first don't seem all that connected with Tristran's adventures. I've always admired authors who managed to weave a story that must have required scorecards, family trees, flow charts, and maybe one whole wall of notes. Luckily it's not all that complicated for the reader (ahem--listener), and if anything's the mark of a master storyteller, it's that.

There are plenty of worse ways to spend your time than to track down and read everything Gaiman writes, and I do believe I might just try it. And you could do worse than starting with Stardust, a fun and surprisingly deep fantasy that--believe me--is much more for adults than kids.

 

 

 

Siblings ... wedding siblings

I wanted to post this to celebrate how much better my brother Jeff is doing at the moment. After a years long battle with lung cancer and then a fungus infection in his lung, he was given just two weeks to live--a month ago. Not that he's out of the woods, but he's eating some, has gained about five pounds, and is looking a lot better. So I thought I'd post these pictures stumbled across from our sister's wedding, way back in ... well, let's not think about how long ago it was.

In the first one Penny looks great, but I get the distinct impression I'm pretending to be James Bond and Jeff is playing the latest suave Bond Villain. Or ... do I look a little like Gomez from The Addams Family?




In the second one, I feel more like a stereotypical English butler. "I'm sorry,  sir, but I'm very much afraid you must shave an inch from that beard before the master will see you." But Jeff looks really good--I wonder if the reason why he so often clowns around in front of the camera is because he figures he can't do much better than this one? Let's force him into another bow tie and find out.

Cutting edge book editing

 So, the first draft of The Source Emerald weighed in at 67,515. The second draft topped out at 70,294. Now I've finished the third draft, and the new word count? 69,028. An increase of 2,779 words, followed by a decrease of 1,266 words.

But not the same words.

My third draft was a seek and destroy mission against certain words that can weaken your writing. Words that can make your writing too passive, such as "was". Adverbs. Words ending with "ing" that can become repetitive. Unnecessary words: For instance, instead of "stood up", why not just "stood"? Take up out, and make it stand down.

The word "suddenly" makes an action less sudden. Don't have too many "has". Don't tell the reader a character "felt" something ... show them feeling it.

Unlike some writers, I don't believe you have to stamp out every single one of these words. Treat them as a spice: Put in too many, and the mix isn't right. Despite what Stephen King says, I do have adverbs in my writing ... just not too many of them.

And now? The fourth draft. Time to work on voice and characterization a little.


Don't forget to check out the new short story!
http://www.eastoftheweb.com/short-stories/UBooks/EverKnow1183.shtml


Remember, books are the best entertainment: You don't have to worry about whether the CGI will be any good.
 

 

 

new short story: Everybody Knows Your Name

 My science fiction short story, "Everybody Knows Your Name", is available to read on the East Of the Web website:

http://www.eastoftheweb.com/short-stories/UBooks/EverKnow1183.shtml

It's about a scientist whose invention doesn't cause the problems most people think of ... instead, he finds an entirely new worry.

Remarkably, it only took about a week from the time they accepted this story until it came out. My last published short story took four months from acceptance to publication! But in that case there was also a print version of the magazine, while East Of the Web is e-pub only.

Let me know if you like it! Don't let me know if you don't like it. Yeah, I can take it, but I don't want to.


http://www.eastoftheweb.com/short-stories/UBooks/Covers/c_EverKnow1183_ip_cov.jpg

 
 
Remember, if you like a short story, it gets a chance to grow up and become a real boy.
 

Another short story sold

 I got great news to start the new year--in fact, it came in just after 6 a.m. on New Year's Day! Which might be why I didn't find it until January 3rd.

But good news delayed is still good news: I sold a short story to an online magazine, East of the Web. "Everybody Knows Your Name" is a story about an inventor who discovers his fears about a new technology are baseless. instead, he finds an entirely new fear.

 I'll let you know when I get a release date, of course. Here's their website:

http://www.eastoftheweb.com/

Guess I'll have to write a new one, now!


 

 

Remember, any short story that eats a balanced diet and takes their vitamins might grow up one day to be a famous novel.

 

New Year's Writin' Eve


     I wondered about the best way to start the New Year. I rarely drink--and if I didn't start drinking in 2020, I never will. I have no desire to see Miley Cyrus' Epiglottis on New Years Rockin' Eve (or whoever the most recent too young to be showing so much skin singer is).

What I do want in 2021 is to get published again.


     So I plan to start the New Year with new rounds of submissions to publishers, magazines, and literary agents. I have short stories already out, but novel manuscripts that need to go out, including Fire on Mist Creek, Beowulf: In Harm's Way, and Summer Jobs Are Murder. Another three manuscripts are mostly done, but need some work yet: Smoke Showing, The Source Emerald, and We Love Trouble.

By the end of January I mean to have all my completed but unpublished manuscripts out and about, and seeing more of the world than I. Meanwhile, since both COVID and winter are likely to stick around for some time, I'll stay home and work on getting the rest nicely polished and pretty-looking.
 
     I know what you're thinking: "You lazy sod, why won't you have all that done three minutes into the New Year"? Well, my paranoia has me pouring over query letters and synopsis' for hours before I upload manuscripts and hit the send button. Besides, a little celebration is in order--and I have a morbid fascination with seeing how incapable the folks in Times Square are of finding and using a trash can.
 

 Okay, the truth is I have to work New Year's Eve. The other truth? After 2020, we shouldn't make plans: You never know what's going to fall on us in the New Year.


Remember, every time you don't read a book and leave a review, a wicked witch terrorizes Munchkins. Save the short people.
 

Have a look at The Source Emerald

 Second draft of the new novel-in-progress: done. New working title: The Source Emerald.

The rough draft weighed in at 67,515 words. Even after cutting some of the final chapter, the second draft finished at 70,294 words. A lot of those extra 2,779 words consisted of me saying, "Huh? What did I mean by that?" and then going in to make it clearer. The whole thing is better now.

I think.

And how does one celebrate the completion of a second draft?

Why, by starting the third draft, of course.

I leave you with a photo of a giant emerald.

This, the Bahia Emerald from Brazil, is believed to be the largest single shard ever found. It weighed about 752 pounds, and has been valued at about $400,000,000.

It was necessary to shrink the emerald in my book down to thirty-two pounds, but it was once much larger, and still resembles this one. And that, Mr. NSA guy, is why I've been researching gems so much lately.



Mark got a pun book

My daughter bought me a book of puns for Christmas. She should have known better. 

The odd part is, at the moment I can't think of a pun to go with this post.

Yes, Virginia, there's still a Santa Claus

I first wrote this in ... let's see ... 2003. I think the story of Virginia still rings true, after all this time.

 

 Her name was Virginia O’Hanlon. She graduated from Hunter College (gotta love that name) with a Bachelor of Arts degree, and a year later received her Master’s from Columbia. In 1912 she began teaching for the New York City school system, and 47 years later, after reaching the position of principal, she retired. It was a full and good life, one in which she had an impact on many children.

But throughout her life, until she died in 1971, she received letters, questions and interviews about something she, herself, did as a child -- something that has become immortal.

She wrote a letter.

“Quite naturally I believed in Santa Claus,” Virginia said years later, “for he had never disappointed me. But when less fortunate little boys and girls said there wasn’t any Santa Claus, I was filled with doubts. I asked my father, and he was a little evasive on the subject.”

All we fathers have been there.

“It was a habit in our family,” Virginia continued, “that whenever any doubts came up as to how to pronounce a word, or some question of historical fact was in doubt, we wrote the Question and Answer column in The Sun. Father would always say, ‘If you see it in the Sun, it’s so’, and that settled the matter.”

This was in 1897. Anyone who said “If you see it in the newspaper, it’s so” these days would be laughed right out of the room, but we were a more faithful society then. So, Virginia wrote this letter:


“I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, ‘if you see it in The Sun, it’s so.’ Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?”

Virginia O’Hanlon



Those of you who no longer trust the newspapers would not be surprised if an editor quickly jotted down “Of course there is!” to satisfy the youngster, and leave it at that. But the letter found its way to Editor Francis P. Church, the son of a Baptist minister, who had two decades experience in the newspaper business.

Church was habitually given the controversial subjects to editorialize on, especially those involving religion. His motto was, “Clear your mind of can’t”. In other words, don’t try -- do. He felt he had to find an answer, and he had to answer truthfully. But if he said no, he would devastate the 8 year olds of New York City. If he said yes, how could he face his church, and all those adult readers who believed in his honesty?

It must have been terribly difficult, but he sat down to work on what would become the most famous editorial in history. It was reprinted annually, until the newspaper went out of business in 1949, and has become legend since.

In a probably misguided attempt to make Church’s reply clear to modern children, I’m going to try to update the editorial in today’s much poorer English. It’s probably a huge mistake, and I’m quite sure I’m not going to do justice to it. But the 8 year old Virginia’s of today are growing up too fast, and those of us with young hearts also need to remember Church’s conclusion:


Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They live at a time when they think no one believes in anything, and they believe only what they see. They think nothing is real if they can’t picture it in their little minds.

But all minds are little, Virginia, whether they belong to adults or children. In this huge universe man is very small, and his mind can’t truly understand all the things that are real and true in it.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.

He’s real, as real as love, and kindness, and the spirit of giving, and all those things that bring beauty and joy to the world. How terrible this world would be without Santa Claus! It would be as dull and sad as if there were no Virginia's. There would be no childlike faith then, no imagination, no love that makes this life worth living. We would be unable to enjoy anything we couldn’t see or touch. There would be no childhood -- and the light of childhood fills the world.

Not believe in Santa Claus! Why, you might as well not believe in angels. You could get your father to hire people to watch all the chimneys on Christmas Eve, but even if none of them saw Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus then, but that doesn’t mean he’s not real. The most real things in the world are the things children and adults can’t see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s not proof they aren’t there. No one can imagine all the wonderful things that nobody can see in the world.

You can tear apart a toy to see what makes it work inside, but there’s a covering over those unseen things that not even the strongest man, not even all the strongest men together, could ever tear apart. Only faith, and imagination, and love, can push aside that covering and show all the wonderful things that are there. Are they all real? Oh, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else as real and long lasting.

No Santa Claus? Thank God he lives, and lives forever. A thousand years from now -- a million years from now -- he will still be real, and make glad the hearts of every Virginia, and everyone who stays young at heart.