Slightly Off the Mark: 2025

We Need a Little Christmas ... Again

(Writer's note: I'm posting this from last year, which I posted from the year before, again. The whole decade has continued to suck, so my sentiments are still the same.)

So ... we need a little Christmas.

I've always had this thing about putting up Christmas decorations, or in any way mentioning Christmas, before Thanksgiving. By "thing" I mean that seeing anything Christmas related before November would send me into a murderous rage. That's how I got banned from Wal-Mart one August.

Starting Christmas while people are going down with heat exhaustion cheapens the holiday, and makes it overstay its welcome. I was okay with putting outside lights up early, mind you--as long as they weren't turned on until Thanksgiving weekend.

So I asked my State and Federal representatives to open a new hunting season: Any lit (or inflated) Christmas decorations seen before Thanksgiving would be open season. Shoot to darken!

That's how I used to feel.

Not this year. This year I'm a happy little friggin' elf.

Why? Because 2023 has been crap. (And now 2024.) (And now 2025.) In fact, it's been the crappiest of the 2020s, which has been the crappiest decade of the century. I know we're not that far in, but let's face it: A stream of horrible years doesn't make the least horrible less horrible. Someone get me that on a t-shirt.

Deaths, health scares, politics, extremists, the Kardashians are still around ... our dog died and our car broke down. That's a country song, man.

So, as the song goes: We need a little Christmas, today. Get started. Brighten up everything--make those electric meters spin. We need the color, the lights, the cheer, even the songs.

Yes, I know Christmas is too commercial these days.

But so what? You don't have to be commercial. I mean, yeah, you should buy books to give out as Christmas presents, but otherwise don't worry about it: Just kick back and relax some between now and the 25th (of next month). Make the time. Watch a Christmas movie, curl up on the couch listening to Christmas music (ahem--while reading a good book, or one of mine). Do whatever it takes to bring down your stress level. There's no law against it.

I know, because my Representatives wouldn't return my calls.

Merry Christmas! Party early, and keep those lights on after the holidays, right up until the Santa Mafia shows up to get you committed.

The Santas are just grumpy because they have to work through the holidays.

For a little escapism, track us down:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Every time a book sale gets rung up, an author gets his wings.

Renovations Make White House Blue

News of the East Wing of the White House, which isn't there anymore, made me wonder just how many changes have been made to the Executive Mansion over the years. I mean, besides changing its name.

The building is young, by European standards. George Washington picked out its location, about an equal distance between the local Starbucks and a CVS Pharmacy. (George was getting old.)

I doubt Washington was involved in naming the city itself. He seemed pretty humble, starting a tradition followed by at least two other Presidents.

The cornerstone was laid in 1791, and the most American of houses was designed by an Irishman and built by slaves. John and Abigail Adams moved there in 1800, despite the fact that little things, such as the staircase, hadn't been installed. It's said their children enjoyed sliding down a pole designed by Benjamin Franklin, one of America's first firefighters.

In 1798 workers splashed whitewash on the sandstone exterior, making what was called the Executive Mansion a ... white house. It wasn't until 1901 that Theodore Roosevelt officially changed the name.

James and Dolley Madison had to move out in a big hurry in 1814, when British troops arrived. It seems American forces had burned down the capitol of Canada during the War of 1812, and the Brits were itching for some payback. The soldiers piled up furniture and bedding, soaked the pile with lamp oil, and by morning only scorched walls were left.

The next day a thunderstorm and tornado stopped the spread of flames and scattered the British troops, forcing them to leave Washington. We've all had fantasies of Washington being swept clean, and this time it actually happened.

I'll bet you can't guess, once the White House was rebuilt, the color of the walls.

That was also the first addition to the building. Since the whole place had to be rebuilt from the ground up anyway, the original architect added porticoes. I like my porticoes with butter and a little garlic salt.

A century after its first occupation, the White House was filled to the brim by Teddy Roosevelt, Edith, and their six children. Acting on the suggestion that business and family areas be separated, workers tore down greenhouses and extended the White House west, with what was called the Temporary Executive Office. These days we call it the West Wing, and like many things in Washington, it turned out to not be temporary at all.

Nine years later President Taft expanded the West Wing to install what's now called the Oval Office. Perhaps that's related to the fact that Taft's waistline expanded itself, in his Presidential years.

Over time paperwork and old equipment built up in the White House attic, and isn't that just typical? Mine, too. Then President Coolidge discovered the roof trusses, over 110 years old, were ready to crash into his favorite breakfast cereal, which as we all know was Trix.

In typical Washington fashion, not only did the White House get a new roof, but also a third floor with a solarium, which I thought was a science fiction movie.

A terrace entrance for visitors appeared on the east side of the building in 1902. During WWII a bomb shelter was built east of that, and to cover it workers built the East Wing. In 1977 the First Lady's office was established there. Now separated by wings, Presidents and their wives have gotten along a lot better ever since.

On Christmas Eve, 1929, the West Wing caught fire. Oh, look at the Christmas colors! Faulty wiring, not fiery speeches, but the attic and roof had to be replaced. The Press Room was damaged, but nobody seemed to mind.

By the time Harry Truman moved in, the White House was 145 years old. Truman noticed drafts and creaky floors, possibly from Abraham Lincoln wandering around. Or possibly from the same old age that made his daughters piano leg break through the floor. Truman, who loved piano music and liked his daughter, brought in engineers to examine the place.

The engineers ran out and refused to return. They didn't see Lincoln's ghost: They saw a place about to fall down around their ears.

For the second time in its history, and White House was gutted right down to the exterior walls. It was rebuilt with a new foundation and sub-basements, concrete floors, and steel frames for the walls, and six more rooms. Truman didn't move back in until 1952.

So, the only thing in the White house that remains original are the outside walls.

Every President since then has made changes, all smaller than that. Nixon installed a bowling alley, and turned the swimming pool into the Press Room. Insert your own joke there. Mrs. Obama put in a kitchen garden. First Lady Bird Johnson oversaw a redesign of the East garden. Obama had a basketball court put in, and also did some infrastructure work. The Clintons did a fairly extensive surface renovation.

President Trump's ballroom would be the biggest project on the property since the 50s, and replaces a smaller ballroom. Taxpayer dollars aren't going into it, which makes some worry it might have a big sign with "Meta Platforms Ballroom", or something. My opinion? It's too big.

Just like the government.

You can find our humor all over: