All At Once, My Movie Won Everything, Everywhere

 I never watch the Oscars, even with the promise of celebrities getting slapped. It's supposed to be about awarding people for their entertainment talent. That's great, but those people have concluded that being able to put on a show makes them experts in politics and world affairs, when all it really shows is that they can lie well enough to inspire awe.

Come to think of it, maybe they do understand politics.

But if I want to hear a political speech ... well, I don't. I follow politics because it's important, but it's not where I go for entertainment: I don't care for tragedies.

The truth is, when I watch a movie I just want to have fun. Most of the motion pictures that get nominations for the Oscars are the movie equivalent of literary novels: They may be well made, but their ultimate purpose is to make the viewer feel depressed and hopeless.

Or so I thought.

When my wife and I saw the first trailer for "Everything Everywhere All At Once", I turned to her and said, "We HAVE to see that", and she readily agreed. That should have been the kiss of death for the movie's Oscar chances. If I think a show looks that good, the Academy will surely hate it.

I mean, "EEAAO" is a martial arts science fiction/fantasy/comedy featuring alternate dimensions. It's the perfect kind of flick for me, but it's not Oscar material. Come on. Sex devices are used in a fight scene for their intended purpose. One of the characters experiences a world where everyone has hot dog fingers.

Not an Oscar movie.

See? Hot dog fingers.

 When I started hearing talk on social media, I finally checked, and yes--of all the movies I saw last year, my favorite one won the Best Picture statue. Not only that, but the stage was clean when it was done sweeping.

Granted, I didn't see that many movies last year. I can't say whether it deserved the awards or not: Of the ten nominated movies, it's the only one we got around to seeing. There were only two others I was interested in--I didn't even know they did another remake of "All Quiet On the Western Front".

Still, the win for "EEAAO" gives me hope that maybe the highfalutin crowd in Hollyweird have finally figured out a movie can be both excellent and fun. Maybe I'll actually want to watch the Oscars next year.

But I doubt it.

I guess my favorite movies are like my books: Fun drive-in type entertainment with a happy ending.

(Remember: Every time you don't buy a book Michelle Yeoh beats up Chuck Norris. You know she can, so spare him the embarrassment.)

http://markrhunter.com/
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

 

Hoosier Hysterical is hysterical ... about Hoosiers

It's selling the soap time!

 

History can be funny, even if it makes history teachers roll over in their graves (hopefully not while they’re still alive). Mark and Emily Hunter tour Indiana in an off-the-wall, Indy 500-style race though the past, from Paleo-Indians through the Northwest Territory, to the gas in Gas City.

http://www.markrhunter.com/HoosierHysterical.html

Along the way we encounter killers, heroes, trivia, claims to fame, and of course, Johnny Appleseed. It’s as American as sugar cream pie—Indiana’s state pie, thanks to the efforts of a hard-working state General Assembly. So sit back and have some fun … and if you accidentally learn something along the way, at least it will be painless.

 

 In answer to your questions:

1. No, there's not really soap. It's an expression.

2. No, I don't know what the balloons or presents are for, but I'm telling people they're for Easter.

3. I don't have any St. Patrick's Day book photos.

4. I don't like any beer ... even green.

5. Yes, you can still order our books in all the regular places:

http://markrhunter.com/
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

 

Also, here's a dog.

Make him happy: buy a book.
 

That Winter Driving Thing Again

(It's possible I was a little irate when I wrote this. Also, I'm hopeful the snowy weather is over for the season, but not convinced.)

 

I contend that DWS (Driving While Stupid) should be a death penalty offense.

Of course, DWS isn't illegal to begin with, but we have to start somewhere.

Look, I’ve done foolish things while driving. I once backed an ambulance into a mailbox--and yeah, it was snowing, but it wasn't the snow's fault. I slid over a stop sign with a police office standing ten feet away. Snow was an accomplice in that case. I took a 1976 Pontiac Ventura off-road four wheeling – and no, Venturas were not FWD.

My youth may have been a reason, but not an excuse. I’ve slowed down, but others haven’t. Worse, the people who cause the mayhem often walk away uninjured, whining about how traumatized they are from the experience.

“It was horrible, all the kids in the back of my pickup flying through the air, and the nun’s body knocked out my tire alignment -- *sob* -- I almost lost my grip on my beer. Luckily I had my cell phone in my other hand, so I was able to call 911.”

"What? It looks fine."

 Sometimes–not always – drivers of big vehicles are most reckless. Why? Well, drivers of small cars are scared stiff. You think I’m going to tailgate a truck that has a spring loaded bumper aimed at my nose, and a “Honk if You Love Guns” bumper sticker? I don’t think so.

Second, many drivers of large vehicles thumb their noses at Mother Nature. “What’s a little freezing rain? I’ve got four wheel drive!” It’s fun to play the game where you’re passed by an SUV, then get to point and laugh at him when he lands in the ditch two miles on.

It’s the definition of False Sense of Security. Yes, maybe you and your truck will get through your 65 mph trip in blinding snow without incident. Angels watch over the foolish. Or maybe the next time will be the one when you’ll end up parked in somebody’s living room, with a Toyota under you that can now qualify as a throw rug.

Here’s a wild idea: Slow your ass down. A five thousand pound block of metal, at a speed that would terrify an Indy 500 racer of 75 years ago, is not under your control, even in the best weather conditions. Add to that rain, deer, and other idiot drivers, and you’ve got a recipe for bloody mayhem.

“That won’t happen to me,” you say. You’re a moron. Nobody’s last words were, “I have a feeling I’m going to get into a bad accident today.”

 

"Did you see that idiot?"

 

Let’s break it down.

There are excellent drivers capable of maintaining control at warp 5, but they don’t live around here. If they did, they’d have died with a deer in their laps a long time ago. If you’re running late during a snowstorm and get behind a silver haired lady driving 35 mph, you have nobody to blame but yourself for not leaving on time.

Seat belts. They keep you from getting your head run over when you’re thrown out of your rolling SUV because you tried to pass that silver haired lady in a snow storm. Living is cool.

Carry a set of scales, and weigh yourself before getting into the car. If you’re not on the edge of starvation, wait until you get home to eat.

A lot of people try to excuse their accidents by saying they were “blinded by –“ fill in the blank. The sun, oncoming headlights, a brilliant idea, whatever.

We don’t let blind people drive. It’s what used to be called common sense, before attorneys had it banned. So if you’re behind the wheel and something blinds you – STOP DRIVING. Are you worried somebody behind you will be mad because you hit the brakes and pulled over? Fine – let them be mad at your very alive self.

They’re probably driving a four wheel drive, anyway.

Why do I take so many pictures from my porch? Because then I don't have to be in a car.

 

 

(Remember, whenever you buy one of our books I can get gloves, and keep my fingers warm enough to write another one.)

http://markrhunter.com/
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

 

Casting for the Pod You Love

 I listen to a fair amount of podcasts, which is interesting considering ten years ago I didn't know what a podcast was.

About that long ago Emily bought me my first iPod, to listen to music while walking or doing chores.

It was called an iPod Shuffle and it still works, despite being over two hundred in electronics years. But it sits in a desk drawer, because although you can play music in order or shuffle it at random, there's no way to better pick what to listen to, in what order. That became a big deal when I started with podcasts, basically radio shows you can download off the internet. Since I have an eclectic list of interests, I wanted to be able to pick the order.

So for my birthday several years ago Emily bought me an updated model. It gives you much better control of the what and when, plus you can load it with photos and videos and other stuff, something I've never done. Although the battery is fading, it still works.

But now I mostly listen to podcasts on my phone, because why carry two devices when you can carry one?

There's a danger in running your brain 24/7; sometimes you need to stop the input and let it rest a little. Just the same, I've found listening to something makes chores like lawn mowing go faster, and helps out when I walk or run. Oh, who am I kidding? Walk.

So, what kind of podcasts do I listen to? I thought you'd never ask.

There's something called podcast fade, and some of the ones I used to like have faded away in time. But plenty others are still going strong, and most of my favorites--of course--involved writing:

I Should be Writing is by SF author Mur Lafferty, and is aimed more at beginning writers. Lafferty shares her own struggles with writing and publishing, not to mention depression and other related challenges.

Ditch Diggers: Lafferty is joined by author Matt Wallace for a more advanced writing podcast, which covers more of the business end of the industry. As their theme song says, they pull no punches.

Writing Excuses: It's fifteen minutes long, because "You're in a hurry, and we're not that smart". A group of authors goes over every aspect of writing. Sometimes they spend too much time on the politically correct for my taste, but it's not a bad thing to hear what people have to say on various issues.

Shipping and Handling: Two literary agents sip wine and discuss their industry and their jobs. Sometimes they spend too much time on national politics, but otherwise it's a great look into the minds of agents and how the business works from their end.

The Writer's Digest Podcast They don't seem to be podcasting anymore, and neither does Harlequin: Meet the Editors, but you might still be able to glean interesting tidbits from their older shows.

Smart Author with Mark Coker: This one's about book marketing and self publishing, which isn't surprising when you realize Coker is the founder of self-publishing powerhouse Smashwords.

Of course, there's more to life than writing, although you wouldn't think that to talk to me.

ID10T with Chris Hardwick is a talk show with uber geek Hardwick, who has far ranging conversations with, well, everybody--actors, authors, comedians, singers, you name it. One of my favorites was Max Brooks, author and son of the legendary Mel Brooks, who's just as fast on his feet as his dad. I don't spend a lot of time on pop culture, but Hardwick seems to be a genuinely nice guy and a joy to listen to.

Nutty Bites: My first podcast experience was with my friend Tabz of Strangely Literal, and she led me to Nutty and her husband Tech, and don't Canadadians have strange first names? You boot, they do. Nutty holds fourth with her friends on various nerd subjects, and this is where I go when I just want to have fun.

Planetary Radio: I love space stuff. This, the podcast of the not for profit Planetary Society, looks into the tech, politics, and science of space exploration, very much one of my earliest interests.

The History Chicks: Two ladies talk about history--specifically, women of history. I love history, and women ain't too bad either. Sometimes they're surprisingly squeamish about how things were done back in the day, but they don't pull any punches--and by the time they're done, you'll be squeamish about the good old days, too. But you can learn a lot in a fun way, about women ranging from Queens of England, to a Chinese pirate (yes, female), to authors, inventors, and murderers. You probably won't be surprised about how seldom the ladies get the historical credit they earned.

The Bladtcast: Christian Bladt was Dennis Miller's sidekick on Miller's podcast, and when Bladt started one of his own I moved over there with him. Not literally. He and his cast of friends basically nerd out (often obscenely) about various fandoms ranging from movies and comics to sports, and it's another one I listen to for the fun of it.

How about you all? Any favorite podcasts to recommend? There are a million of them out there.

http://markrhunter.com/
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

book review: Winged Escort, by Douglas Reeman

World War II. Terrible as that time was, the warriors were strong and moral, always brave, steadfast, and focused on the same goal.

Or, sometimes, not so much.

One would think a novel written in the mid-Seventies would be big on the glory, as were so many books and movies in the years after the war. But Douglas Reeman was there, and he pulls no punches about how terrible it was, to bodies and souls.

www.amazon.com/Winged-Escort-Modern-Fiction-Library-ebook/dp/B06WP5SLT9

 

 

To stop the destruction of Allied shipping in the Atlantic, small, slow escort carriers are being built to accompany convoys, and fighter pilot Rowan is assigned to the HMS Growler. It's flagship of a tiny fleet escorting a convoy through the frigid Arctic to the Soviet Union, and German forces send everything they have against it.

Rowan can only do his job as his comrades fall one by one, his superiors make foolish mistakes for selfish reasons, and his own mind takes a battering from the constant stress and danger. 

After surviving that trip Rowan falls into a love affair while recovering from injuries, then ships out to the Pacific, where the Growler faces an unexpected threat: Kamikaze attacks. So there's plenty of action, but Reeman doesn't hold back from showing the mental and physical beating the pilots and sailors went through during the war.

So, how did I end up reviewing a four decade old novel? Well, I went out of town, was feeling under the weather and didn't want to read on my phone, and--there it was. A happy accident, because Reeman wrote with a spare but still detailed style that puts you right on board that little ship. He wrote dozens of other books, and I suspect they're equally gripping--look him up.

You can find Douglas Reeman's other books here:

https://www.amazon.com/stores/Douglas-Reeman/author/B001HCS06Q

 

 (Remember: Every time you don't buy a history book, someone invades a European country.)

http://markrhunter.com/
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"