SLIGHTLY OFF THE
MARK
In a world where it seems like
everyone’s just going in circles, it’s nice to know some people are doing it
for a reason.
In 1985, one man decided he’d circle
a track for 24 hours. I know, crazy – right? He must be a mental case, or the
worst kind of out of touch person: a politician. But no, it turns out he did it
in an attempt to raise money for the American Cancer Society.
I probed further and discovered colorectal
surgeon Dr. Gordy Klatt … okay, poor choice of words with the probe thing. I
once asked my urologist what his favorite prostate inspection joke was, but he
couldn’t put his finger on it.
In his business Klatt saw plenty of
cancer, so he wanted to support his patients and help the local ACS office.
Turns out Klatt was also a marathon runner, so in May, 1985, he ran for more
than 83 miles over the course of a full day. Friends donated $25 each to go
along with him for 30 minutes of his marathon.
Was it successful? He raised $27,000
for the fight against cancer.
(By the way, this isn’t an effort to
raise money “for cancer”. You don’t want cancer to have money. Besides, cancer
has no hands. No, you raise money to fight cancer, and if cancer doesn’t like
that – too bad.)
Klatt had a lot of time to think
during those 24 hours. This was pre-iPod, after all. It’s true, there really
was a time before iPods. He came up with the idea of a relay event, and a year
later 19 teams took place in the very first Relay for Life.
Now teams participate in 21
countries. Four million Americans in 5,000 communities took part last year – less than those who cook out on Memorial Day
weekend, but slightly more than the number who’ve sent death threats to Justin
Bieber. Maybe The Beeb would be less hated if people knew about the nine
charities he supports, but that’s another story.
There’s even a virtual fundraising
event, Relay For Life of Second Life, which has raised over a million dollars.
I don’t even have time to deal with first life.
This makes The ACS Relay For Life the
world’s largest grassroots fundraising movement, unless you count the people
who call in to vote on American Idol. In addition to being a good cause, it
gives participants a chance to live their childhood dream of staying up all
night since, after all, cancer never sleeps. (It has no hands, and thus can’t
pull on its pajamas.)
Participants can stay up all night,
sleep in the tents while other team members are on the track, or even go home
to nap – it’s not the technicalities that matter so much as the fund raising.
On the other hand, there’s a lot of fun stuff going on at the Relays, and if
you sleep you miss it.
It might seem strange to have fun while
fighting something so evil, but one Relay theme is “Celebrate. Remember. Fight
back.” As a humor columnist and a well-known walking disaster whose own theme
is “What could possibly go wrong?” I know better than anyone that such things
are better faced with love and laughter. Besides, it’s working: Thanks to new
research and treatment, cancer survivors celebrate more birthdays every year.
How did I get involved in the Relay?
Good question; thanks for asking, Mom. About four years ago I was approached by
a coworker who asked, “You write part time, don’t you?”
“No,” I said. That’s my default
self-preservation response to the question, but he knew about my column,
fiction writing, and vicious letters to the editor, and asked me to do public
information work for the Noble County Relay For Life.
“But I don’t wanna,” I didn’t say that
out loud, because it’s everyone’s responsibility to give something back to the
community. And to use their turn signals
After all, half of all men and one third
of women will be diagnosed with cancer in their lifetimes, and all of us will
be affected in one way or another. So I signed up, because I have a certain
small amount of talent in writing and because, like voting or trimming your
nose hairs, it’s the right thing to do.
A couple of years after that I got my
own biopsy, and began an ongoing process of having my prostate watched by my
urologist, who I’ve nicknamed Doctor Digit. It was just this year when my
stepfather had his operation for bladder cancer.
So here I am again, pushing the Noble
County Relay For Life that’s coming up May 19th this year, at the
West Noble High School south of Ligonier. We’re all connected, you see.
Better to be connected in fighting
cancer, rather than having it drag us all down. Not that it could, ‘cause we’re
stronger than that … and it doesn’t have any hands.
You can also
contact Noble County Chairperson Carla Fiandt at the Community State Bank in
Albion, by e-mail at carlaf@csbemail.com, or by phone at 260-636-3744. Or, e-mail Team
Recruitment Chair Stacey Lang at esclang@hotmail.com, or American Cancer Society representative Melissa
Stephens at melissa.stephens@cancer.org, or
260-471-3911.
