Escape Plans For Fire Prevention Week

Pretty much everyone who reads my blog or other social media realizes by now that I’m a humorist. Some of you might even think I’m funny. I poke fun at serious things all the time, and I even write humor pieces about deadly serious stuff, such as Fire Prevention Week.

But that doesn’t mean it’s not a serious subject.

This year the National Fire Protection Association picked: “Fire Won’t Wait. Plan Your Escape” as the theme for the week, which runs from October 9 to 15. In my experience, when a fire starts it doesn’t want to just be there, waiting for a food delivery or an Uber ride. It likes to spread—and it spreads fast.

Thanks to modern building materials, once a building catches fire the flames spread way more quickly than they once did, and the fires burn hotter. The third best way to combat that is to be in a building that has a fire sprinkler system, an idea that has no interest to politicians or the construction industry. The second best way is to have operating smoke and carbon monoxide detectors, along with a plan for what to do if a fire breaks out.

(The first way, of course, is to use caution and prevent a fire from breaking out in the first place.)

 

Feel safe in your home? 74% of all fire deaths in the United States happen in those homes. People are actually more likely to die in a home fire today than they were in 1980, the year I started in the fire service. So the message is simple: Be ready to get out. The NFPA has some tips on getting out alive:

• Make sure your home escape plan meets the needs of all your family members, including those with sensory or physical disabilities.
• Smoke alarms should be installed inside every sleeping room, outside each separate sleeping area, and on every level of your home. Smoke alarms should be interconnected so when one sounds, they all sound.
• Know at least two ways out of every room, if possible. Make sure all doors and windows open easily.
• Have an outside meeting place a safe distance from your home where everyone should meet.
• Practice your home fire drill at least twice a year with everyone in the household, including guests. Practice at least once during the day and at night.

Fire Prevention Week is the longest running public health observance, marking its hundredth anniversary this year. Everybody involved wishes it wasn’t necessary.

 

 Find our books at:

http://markrhunter.com/
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

And check out the Albion Fire Department's history in Smoky Days and Sleepless Nights: A Century Or So With the Albion Fire Department.

 

Pumpkins and Puppies In the Newsletter

 I sent the newsletter out last week, and just now realized it was about ... pumpkins and puppies. That wasn't intentional, but what the heck! Not much new to report in the writing world, so I opted for cuteness. Can you really blame me?

 https://mailchi.mp/8aadc24d2fd8/what-i-didnt-do-on-my-summer-vacation?e=2b1e842057

 Here's one of the pumpkins, but you'll have to go to the newsletter to see the puppies.

 Remember, every time you don't buy a book, Jack goes looking for a new body. Don't lose your head over that.

 

http://markrhunter.com/
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

 

Pancakes, and Eggs, and Sausage ... Oh, My

(While this event isn't until November, it'll get here faster than you think. After all, it already feels like November. So spread the word, and if you're going to be nearby, mark your calendar!)

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 I'm still not all that good at promoting my books or anything else, but I keep working at it. I have learned that when you send out a media release you need to include certain things, such as what the media release is for.

If you're trying to promote a fund raising breakfast, you shouldn't tell everyone it's a 5K run to benefit left-handed redheads. (Just as an example.) People will show up expecting something entirely different, although in that case it would be a pleasant surprise. "Oh, food instead of exercise! But where are the redheads?"

It's probably a good idea to tell people where it will be, not to mention when it will be. This isn't the lottery, after all: "Just show up! Maybe you'll get lucky!" My fire department's fund raising breakfast lasts two hours; your odds of hitting it accidentally are worse than the odds of finding a Congressman who retires with less money than he started with.

So I came up with what you see below. I may be able to later substitute "new book" for "pancake, eggs, and sausage", but we'll see how it works out.

Remember, messaging is all important.

 

MEDIA RELEASE

PANCAKE, EGGS, AND SAUSAGE FUND RAISER

 

Albion Volunteer Fire Department

210 Fire Station Drive

Albion IN 46701

DATE: November 19, 2022

TIME 7am-11am

COST  Freewill donation

 

The Albion Volunteer Fire Department welcomes everyone to a pancake, eggs, and sausage breakfast at the fire station, on Saturday, November 19, 2022. Breakfast will be served from 7-11 a.m. at the firehouse, at 210 Fire Station Drive on the east side of Albion. There will be a freewill donation, with proceeds going toward AFD training and equipment.

The Facebook page for the event is here:

https://www.facebook.com/events/621439952905744

 

 

 

Find all our books, including, of course, our history of the Albion Fire Department, here:

http://markrhunter.com/
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

Crunching Letters to Synopsis Satisfaction

 I'm continually surprised that editors and agents in the publishing industry expect novelists to write short stuff, like query letters, outlines, and synopsis ... synopsis's ... synopsi? Just a sec.

(Huh. It's synopses. Who knew?)

Asking a novelist to write short is like asking a politician to spend less money; asking the Wicked Witch to be less cackle, um, cackle-y; asking me to skip dessert. My novel manuscripts tend to be short, but that doesn't make me freak out any less when I have to reduce it to a 1,000 word synopsis. My latest manuscript is 82,000 words: It's like taking a full size pickup truck and reducing it to Matchbox size with your bare hands.

Hey, I have this one! Wouldn't want to build the real thing from scratch.

Now imagine someone trying to write a synopsis for one of George R.R. Martin's Song of Ice and Fire books, which are so big they're registered as lethal weapons. Seriously, even putting it on your Kindle adds two pounds. When I tried to read the newest one on the couch, I broke my hip. And the couch. Of course, no one would ask him to write a synopsis. In fact, he probably has an assistant that does nothing but write synopses ... seses ....

In theory the best way to write a synopsis is to write one paragraph for each chapter, then trim where necessary, as if it isn't going to be necessary. I tried other tactics. For instance, removing every "the"; putting into the synopsis only the third and fifteenth word of every page; and hiring George R.R. Martin's synopsis writer. None worked. (You wouldn't believe what that guy charges.)

So I looked the manuscript over again. While Martin's books are high fantasy, my newest story is apparently low fantasy, and yes, I'm aware of the possible jokes. That means it's set in our real world, but magical elements intrude into it; the best known example would probably by the Harry Potter series.

How low can you go? Well, you could have an entire school full of kids who could turn their parents into warthogs, for instance.

 

My story, The Source Emerald, is about a young FBI agent on her first assignment, who tries to track down possible gem smugglers in upstate New York. Magic ... intrudes.

All I had to do is boil down her personality, the plot, the stakes, and the major supporting characters into 800-1000 words, or less than two pages. Or shorter, depending on who you ask. Oh, and in your own unique voice ... with plot twists ... and the ending ... I'm going to go lay down, now.

Okay, I'm back. Almost all authors hate writing a synopsis, and those who like it almost always turn out to be heavily addicted to something and/or certifiably insane. I don't have the exact statistics on that. All I know is that on my first whack at it, I spent half a page describing why my main character, Lilly, absolutely doesn't believe the little girl she encounters is Dorothy Gale, made famous in the Oz books. I had to reduce that to, like, four words.

"Dorothy is brunette, and a teenager, and not a princess, and it was all a dream, anyway. Stop pulling my leg--I've seen the movie."

In the final version the whole thing boiled down to: "Lilly doubts Dorothy's story."

It took me three days to come up with that sentence.

In reality I got the whole synopsis done in "just" a few days, not counting my nightmares of being chased by an editor with a sharp red pen. My first version was about 3,500 words, which really wasn't too shabby. My second was around 1,500--I was slashing words like a horror movie villain.

And then--finally--920 beautiful, short, on-point words. That's it. If you want a shorter synopsis from me, I'll just cut from the bottom and you'll never know the ending, pal! (Or lady, since most of the agents and editors I've queried have been female.)

But I did it. I'm relieved, and proud, and surprised, but mostly relieved.

Now I have to write a query letter.

Hm ... or maybe I should tackle a short story. What do you think?

Find all our books here:

http://markrhunter.com/
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"