The Heroes of 9/11

Much as I tried, I couldn't write anything new this year to memorialize the events of 9/11.

I was so heartsick over our horribly bungled and costly withdrawal from Afghanistan, I found myself unable to say anything that wouldn't just attract pointless political arguing. Oh, I found words--I'd even go so far to say they were eloquent. But despite the obvious connection, writing about it now would only take away from remembrance of the terrorist attacks.

So I deleted the whole thing, thus saving the internet another corner of hate throwing and name calling. Instead, I'm reprinting here the column I wrote for the 10th anniversary of 9/11. Sadly, I didn't need to make many changes.

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            I've mentioned before that I’m uncomfortable using the word “hero”. Like many words, it’s overused and clichéd. What is a hero? Not a sports star. Being tough doesn’t make a hero. Not a skydiver. That may make you brave, but not heroic.

            Ronald Bucca was a member of the 101st Airborne, then served in the Special Forces and Green Berets while on active duty in the army. He became a New York City firefighter in 1978, and on September 11, 2001, became the only FDNY fire marshal ever killed in the line of duty.

            Does somebody become a hero when they take on a dangerous occupation? I don’t know … the flagger who controls traffic during road construction has an especially dangerous job, but I don’t know if you’d call it heroic. You could even argue that a firefighter or police officer doesn’t automatically become a hero the moment he puts on the badge. Maybe – potential hero?

            But then, isn’t everyone a potential hero?

            Steve DeChiaro is a businessman, and was just entering the Pentagon for a meeting when the building was struck by an airplane. No one would have blamed him for saving himself; he had no legal responsibility to act. Certainly he never thought he’d end up winning the Defense Department’s highest civilian award, the Medal of Valor, for his actions in rescuing and treating people that day.

            Sometimes, maybe, a hero is just someone who overcomes their fear and acts – not on a lark, but to do something important, something vital.

            Tom Burnett was the vice president of a medical devices company. He found himself on United Airlines Flight 93, and after his plane was hijacked he learned, in a cell phone call to his wife, of the attacks on the World Trade Center. He didn’t know for sure what the hijackers were planning, but it must have quickly become clear they also wanted to kill.

            Burnett must have also known that an attempt to take the plane back would likely be fatal … but that if it failed, they still might keep the hijackers from taking a large number of civilians on the ground with them.

            Sometimes being a hero is a matter of relativity. A firefighter might do something on a day to day basis that others see as heroic, while he just calls it another day on the job. But others wouldn’t normally expect to see a crisis, beyond a paper jam in the copy machine.

            Welles Crowther was an equities trader. The biggest risk for him on the job was a paper cut, or a coffee burn. He was on the 104th floor of the South Tower when the first plane hit.

            Witnesses described how Crowther, a former volunteer firefighter, took control, organized people, and got dozens out of the building before it collapsed.

            Sometimes it’s the call of duty, of course.

            Moira Smith, a 13 year veteran of the NYPD, had already been decorated for heroism. It’s hardly surprising that she headed into the World Trade Center to rescue people, and became the only female member of the force killed that day.

            Her daughter would be 22 now. I hope people tell her about her mom.

            Or … maybe heroism just runs in the family?

            Eric Moreland was a George Washington University student at the time, but also a volunteer firefighter and paramedic. As often happens to off duty emergency personnel, he was just happening by when an airplane crashed into the Pentagon.

            Moreland, at great risk, charged into the burning building and carried injured people to safety. Then he stayed to help remove the dead. Then he drove all the way to New York to help out at the world Trade Center.

            Moreland’s grandfather, Lt. Col. Conway Jones, was one of the famous Tuskegee Airmen of World War II. His father flew 80 combat missions in Vietnam.

            Whether it runs in the family or not, some people are just born to serve.

            Special Agent Leonard Hatton fought crime as an FBI agent, fought fires as a volunteer, and fought for freedom as a US Marine. He reported the second plan crashing into the south Tower – not from inside the World Trade Center, but from the roof of a nearby hotel. Then he went in. What else could he do? He died that day, but if he’d turned his back on the call for help, he wouldn’t have been able to live with himself.

            There will always be some who suffer for their service.

            Jim Ryan survived, but was still a victim of 9/11. A New York City firefighter, he came back to the WTC site again and again, for months. He helped search for survivors, then victims, and as time went by there was nothing left but to search out bits of what were once people.

            What else could he do? Over three hundred of his brother firefighters were there.

            The cancer diagnosis came in 2006. His lungs finally failed him on Christmas, 2009. He was 48, and died on the same day that someone else grabbed the headlines by trying to bring down another plane, with a chemical bomb strapped to his leg.

            On September 11, 2001, 341 FDNY firefighters and 2 Fire Department paramedics were killed; 23 NYPD officers died, along with 37 Port Authority PD officers and 8 private EMS medics.

            On 9/11 at least 200 people, faced with the horrors of burning to death, jumped from the Twin Towers. Among the almost 3,000 who died in the four sites linked in the attack were citizens of over 70 nations. I don’t know how many of those people qualified as heroes. A lot of them, certainly. And just as certainly, the dead from that day are only a fraction of the victims.

            Every now and then some short sighted person will suggest we stop obsessing so much about 9/11, that we “let it go”. After all, it’s been twenty years, right?

            They’re wrong. They’ll always be wrong. Ten times twenty years, they’ll be wrong. Not only because we must keep this from happening again, but because heroes vanish too quickly, in the flotsam and jetsam of pop culture and the concerns of everyday life. Their memory goes too quickly, just as they do.

            Be inspired by their stories. Saddened. Enraged. But never forget.
 

 

How Long Should a Novel Be? No, Really?

Writing instructors, editors, publishers, they all say the same thing: When writing a piece of fiction, start at the beginning; go to the end; then stop.

Don't pad it. Don't be too sparse. Just make your story as long as it needs to be, no longer. It's good advice.

It's also wrong.


What do these works have in common? That's right: They're too short.


I got lucky with my early books, because my publishers weren't that picky about word count. My novels tended to weight in at around 55,000 words, which sounds like a lot, but it's at the lower edge for fiction. The first science fiction novel I tried to sell clocked in at around 62,000 words. I reevaluated it, added some new and expanded scenes, and got it up to 68,000. That was it. The whole story.

Now, Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury is only 46,000 words long ... but that's Ray Bradbury. Stephen King wrote The Stand, which is half a million words and thus far over the norm for any book. But he's frakking Stephen King. Believe me, a new author will get nowhere by whining that, well, George R.R. Martin and J.K. Rowling write long!

"When millions of people know you by your initials, get back to us." 

Many publishers won't even glance at your work if you don't go through a literary agent, so although they aren't strictly necessary, they can be great door openers. But after Beowulf: In Harm's Way got several rejections, one agent decided to level with me:

"I'm afraid this isn't right for me, but beyond that I'm also concerned that your word count of 68,000 is on the low end for Science Fiction."



What ... this is it? Did you consider putting in more dog scenes?"

 According to my research, people in publishing think the right word count for a science fiction novel is around 80-120,000 words. It varies for other genres: For instance, romance novels can commonly be as low as 50-55,000 words, which is how I got away with my romantic comedies. But it's possible some of the agent rejections for Beowulf: In Harm's Way were as much because of its length as anything else.

This really rubbed me the wrong way. We get lectured over and over: Never pad your story! It should be as long as it needs to be, and no more! Cut the fat! So if the story is perfect at 68,000 words ... what the heck?

I struggled with this for some time: If I wanted my story to come out at the low end of the proper length, I'd have to add at least 12,000 words. Of course, I could self publish it at whatever length I wanted, but I really wanted this story to have a chance with a big publisher, and even be the beginning of a series. But ... 12,000 words ...

Luckily, a solution was already right there, on my hard drive.

"Check this out: I'm putting in a prologue! That'll show 'em."

When my first novel, Storm Chaser, was picked up by a publisher, I thought it would be fun to promote it by writing short stories about the characters, to give away as a way to get readers interested. My publisher jumped on that, and the collected stories became my second book, the collection Storm Chaser Shorts. I liked writing about the characters so much that I'd already decided to do the same with Beowulf: In  Harm's Way. In fact, I'd already written five short stories in that universe.

Three of them were fun but silly little pieces that I didn't feel belonged in the novel's narrative. The other two were longer, and took place at the beginning of the story. They became chapters one and two, and I wrote a prologue that led right into them. (Prologues are another controversy. I like 'em, if they have a point.) By the time I'd added some connective material and looked through the manuscript for thin areas that could be expanded ...

Ta Da! 84,000 words, and none of it padding. I don't think.

I can't really complain, because after I put it all together, revised, polished, and read it again ... the manuscript was better than the shorter version. (Well, I think so. What do I know? I should ask some beta readers to check it out.)

How do you feel about word counts? Do you care, or is a long book intimidating, or does a short one seem too lightweight? It seems strange to me that novels seem to be getting longer, even as potential readers are accused of having shorter attention spans.





 

newsletter shoots for funny in an unfunny summer

This month's newsletter is a humor break, for those who need one ... which is just about all of us.


https://mailchi.mp/dfdae3a5ad39/take-a-humor-break-this-extra-uncomfortable-summer

We all need a little cheering up from time to time, so here are two excerpts from our first humor novel, "Slightly Off the Mark". And not something you'll get by clicking the preview button, either.

Remember, we're all in this together, except for that guy who covered himself in bubble wrap and duct tape. Should have cut an air hole, man.
 
 


movie review: The Suicide Squad

 Okay, let's get this out of the way right now: "The Suicide Squad" is not--I repeat, NOT--a movie for kids.

Most movies based on comics try to entertain adults while also being watchable by their kids. (If you're one of the snobbish who automatically label these flicks "kid movies", you came to the wrong place.)

Not this one. We're talking about a sex scene, a moment of graphic nudity, and an overwhelming amount of graphic, graphic violence. I knew this going in, and it's nothing worse than I see on the various "Walking Dead" shows, but it still startled me. Maybe it's because I watch "Walking Dead" for the characters, and could happily do without the worst of the onscreen gore.

Okay, so that's out of the way. "The Suicide Squad" is a great movie, and if you can handle the gore I'd highly recommend it. Unless you're a movie snob.

 The idea behind the movie and it's kinda/sorta related previous version is that if you have a suicide mission, why risk beloved superheroes? Instead, the shady Task Force X recruits villains--mostly of the third rate variety. If they survive, they get decades taken off their sentences. If they try to run away, head of Task Force X Amanda Waller (Viola Davis, being suitably nasty), pushes a button and their head blows off.

We open with a team headed to a small island country, where they're dropped near the beach and things go immediately sideways. Then we got back in time, to see another team recruited at the same time, for the same mission: To destroy a top secret science project that's now in the hands of the island's new dictator.

Things go sideways for them, too, as happens on suicide missions. The survivors must face down the island's military to accomplish their job--which turns out to be something more than what they were told.

"The Suicide Squad" has, yes, those great effects and action, but if you're going to like the movie, it's for the characters. Here Idris Elba as reluctant leader Bloodsport, and Margot Robbie as the sanity-averse Harley Quinn, excel. Beyond that the heart of the movie comes from Daniela Melchior as Ratcatcher 2 (guess what her super power is?), and David Dastmalchian as--wait for it--Pokda-Dot Man. Both have their backstories explored enough to be sympathetic characters.


 

The Suicide Squads are made up of real DC Comics characters, but the third rate ones--the ones Robin could take down without Batman's help. As such, almost any of them could be killed off at any moment, and many are, so once we're invested we end up on the edge of our seats. It's to the credit of everyone involved that we're left caring about, and rooting for, our "heroes". (By the way, the Big Bad in this movie was, in the comics, the Justice League's first villain.)

My score:

Entertainment value: 3 1/2 out of 4 stars. I had trouble getting past some of the more graphic violence, of which there was much, but as movies based on comic books go this was one of the better ones. And graphic or not, I can watch Harley Quinn's fighting moves all day long.

Oscar Potential: 2 out of 4 stars. I don't know ... maybe. The Academy does seem to like violent flicks, after all, and shouldn't there be an Oscar for fight choreography? But I doubt it will get a "Joker" level of critical acclaim.

(By the way, this was our first trip back to an indoor theater in two years ... we went at noon, and there were only two other people in the theater. This is one of those movies better appreciated on the big screen.)


http://markrhunter.com/
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

Yard Work for the Beat Down

I'm not as active as a volunteer firefighter as I used to be, because over the years my body has been beat down pretty good ... by doing yard work.

Other than a couple of back injuries, I've never really been hurt on that hazardous job. Firefighting, I mean. Yard work, now that's the task that leaves me moaning on the ground, and not in a good way.

 

You ever try to mow with this stuff on?

 

With firefighting, you wear tons of protective gear, which changes the most likely medical problems to heat stroke and heart attacks. With yard work, you wear shorts and a tank top, and in some cases hold a can of beer. In addition, with firefighting you tend to have the topic of safety going on in your mind:

"Say, I'm in zero visibility, crawling over a burned out floor, shoving a metal pike into the ceiling when I don't know if the electricity is still on." It's just an example. I've never pulled a ceiling while crawling on the floor, so don't sweat it.

When I'm doing yard work, I have other topics on my mind:

"I wonder how long I could let this grow before the lawn police arrest me?"

An action shot.


But the biggest reason for this seeming paradox is that fire just doesn't give a darn about me, while Mother Nature hates me.

Oh, yeah. Mother Nature is a vindictive bit ... being. She hears me complain. I complain a lot.

"It's too cold." "I hate bugs." "That's not rain: It's a cloud of pollen!"

Once, as I was mowing in the front yard, one of our trees bent down and beaned me with a limb. It had nothing to do with me not paying attention. It's also the only time in my adult life that I did a full somersault.

But recently I learned a new twist: My furniture is in cahoots with Mother Nature. Much of it is wood, after all, an increasingly expensive resource that doesn't just grow on trees. I'm always shoving furniture around, banging into it, and of course sitting on it. This axes of evil (see what I did, there?) recently tried hard to do me in.

I was mowing in the back yard, near the lilacs I've horribly neglected. If you were a lilac and your caretaker doesn't trim you or keep other trees from growing up in the middle of you, wouldn't you be upset? I don't know, either.

As I pushed the mower around one of the bushes, it reached it's driest, deadest branch out and clobbered me in the arm.

The evidence.

 

The above photo is my arm, just so you know. Now that I think of it, maybe this is what the far side of my forearm always looks like--I usually can't see it. But no, my wife takes great joy in pouring peroxide on my fresh wounds, and when they're old I don't scream like that.

The very next day, I noticed the TV remote was missing. (Just hang on, it's connected.) No big deal: It can always be found by sweeping a hand between the cushion and the inside of the couch's side. We put it on the arm, it slides down, and Bob's your uncle.

(That's just an expression: I don't mean to offend anyone who actually has an Uncle Bob.)

Now, the couch is only a few years old, and we really like it. It has two recliners, something that's always seemed like rich luxury to me, but boy, am I glad for them--especially on bad back days. But when you recline and unrecline and plop down on something all the time, there's bound to be some wear and tear.

As near as I can tell, a nail popped loose and just hung there, between the side and the cushion. Waiting. For me.

I swept my hand down there, just like I always do. What happens when something suddenly stabs into your hand? You withdraw your hand, don't you? Which I did, but the nail had already embedded itself into my finger. I'm pretty sure it bounced off the inside of a fingernail.

I'll spare you the photos.

Have you ever bled so much that you couldn't stop it even with pressure, elevation, and cold? It was just a finger, for crying out loud, which is exactly how I cried. Out loud. Luckily no one was home, but that meant I had to do the peroxide thing myself, and it's not nearly as much fun that way.

Two injuries in two days, on the same arm. And what swung that nail out to grab me? That's right: the couch's wooden frame. I got even by bleeding on it, but still. Also, I hurt my back again jumping halfway across the living room while waving my hand wildly, and later I had to clean up that blood.

Luckily I'm used to cleaning up my own blood.

Don't doubt the connection: The truth is out there ... and in there. Mother Nature is out to get me, and there's nowhere to hide. Today the couch--tomorrow the bed.

There's a thought to sleep on.

When I'm going to give blood, I prefer advanced notice.


http://markrhunter.com/
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"


movie reviews: Free Guy and Jungle Cruise

 Since I'm reviewing two movies at once (we went to the drive-in), I'm going to keep this short.

Stop laughing, I am.

Yep, we're back where I wrote Coming Attractions.
 

After watching "Free Guy" and "Jungle Cruise" back to back, it became obvious to me why Ryan Reynolds and Dwayne Johnson have been on such a winning streak of late: They both decided to embrace the silly. Armed with comic timing and a wink at the audience, both men are well aware they've been dropped into universes that shouldn't be taken too seriously.

What that means, of course, is that you either love them or hate them. I love the fun.

In "Free Guy" Reynolds is Guy, which is as much a name as he gets because he's just an NPC--a Non Playable Character--in a popular video game. Every morning he gets up, grabs a coffee, and dodges explosions on the way to his job at the bank, which gets robbed several times a day. He thinks nothing of it, until one day he's entranced by a woman who's one of the sunglasses-wearing elite, the cool people who have no routine and simply do what they please.

Soon Guy's world is shaken when he discovers the elite are video game players, and he's merely one of those background characters whose only role is to be victim, supply items, or simply fill up space. He finds himself falling for the player (Jodie Comer), who's trying to correct an injustice in real life, and they both end up racing to save the fictional world before it's destroyed by its owner--who's ready to go with an entirely new version.

It's been done before, sort of--the first example that comes to mind is "The Lego Movie". Here it's done with new twists, style, great effects, humor--and heart, something Reynolds excels at. It doesn't hurt that there are some awesome cameos, including one by Reynolds' real-life wife. (And another by Dwayne Johnson.)


"Jungle Cruise" is based on Disney's Jungle Cruise, thus the name. The plot? Well, it's the same plot as that wonderful Brendan Fraser movie, "The Mummy". An uncouth adventurer in the early 20th Century is hired to take a female British researcher and her unadventurous brother into a dangerous wilderness, where they encounter supernatural threats.

Which just goes to show you, the exact same idea can lead to completely different stories.

Johnson demonstrates a deft comic timing here, with a talented fellow cast including the real star of the movie, Emily Blunt. His character has been going up and down the Amazon in a small river boat for years and pretty much has everything figured out, until he's nonplussed by Blunt's ... well, bluntness, not to mention smarts. This being Disney, the movie has both the humor and action parts down, and the stakes are high as our heroes search for a plant that might save thousands of lives in the trenches of World War I.

All is, of course, not what it seems. If the action gets a bit improbable ... well, it's a summer Disney flick, so there you go. As Johnson's character says, "Who brings a submarine up the Amazon?" Actually, that quote pretty much sums up the tone of the whole movie.

 

My score on both films:

Entertainment value: 4 out of 4 M&Ms. They're summer popcorn movies--if you want your popcorn with lots of laughs, over the top action, and dazzling effects, these are two great examples. (Actually, "Free Guy" has the advantage of being mostly in a video game, where over the top action is all too likely.)

Oscar Potential: 2 out of 4 M&Ms. They don't give out Oscars for "Most Fun Movie". Maybe they should.



Getting My Dander Up

Look, I'm allergic to cat dander--highly allergic.


Granted, it might be a Pokemon cat Emily found in the car, but I've been sneezing every time I go for a drive. Coincidence?

Get back in your ball, Glameow.



 

book review: Sod's Law, by Roger Lawrence

  Arnold Pratt is ... well ... lazy. By night he's a security guard, keeping watch while building owners are gone. His big nightly decision is usually whether to fit in a short nap before, or after, coffee. His clients are ... peculiar. But that's okay with Arnold, a homebody by day who's basically sleeping his way through  life.

Ah, but Arnold lives in the U.K., where they have something called Sod's Law. Here in America we call it Murphy's Law: If something can go wrong, it will. Despite his best efforts to be invisible, Arnold soon finds himself on the run from different police agencies, not to mention the national government, and accused of committing a double murder he didn't even know happened. Soon everyone around him is either dying or trying to kill him, and poor Arnold gets more and more battered as he tries to figure out who he can trust.

https://www.amazon.com/Sods-Law-Roger-Lawrence-ebook/dp/B07BMGLTB5

 Arnold is oddly passive as he pinballs through life, and it isn't until late in the novel that we find out there's a reason for it. At first he seems like a lazy bum with no redeeming qualities, but he does love his family, and tries his best to protect the properties he's charged with guarding. Nothing that happens to him is really his fault, but it's fun watching him try to muddle through the minor and major disasters until, deciding he's over being a punching bag, Arnold starts taking matters into his own hands.

It was a fun read, although I got confused a few times when new scenes started without a break. There didn't seem to be much about Arnold to cheer for, and I wish we'd found out earlier that his lack of emotional response had a cause. Just the same, I enjoyed puzzling out the mysteries, not to mention the sometimes bizarre people we encounter along the way. Many of these people end up being way more than they appear, and those reveals are a large part of the fun.

I should warn that there might be some head-scratching moments for people who don't live in England, but they're not hard to figure through. Although the story starts off a bit slowly, in the end Sod's Law is a fun ride.


Do You Title Your Chapters?

Titling chapters, instead of numbering them, has mostly gone away in fiction, but it's still a thing in non-fiction. The only novel I put chapter titles in was The No-Campfire Girls, and I had great fun doing it. But that was self-published; I'm not sure I'd try it with an agent/publisher hunt.

(We don't literally hunt agents and publishers, by the way. Yes, I know what my last name is, but that's just a title I inherited. It's like an actor being knighted--they're not really expected to go out and defend the Queen's honor. Are they?)

More Slightly Off the Mark: Why I Hate Cats, and Other Lies, has a duel layer of titles. Each chapter is full of reconstituted humor columns, which is when you take an old newspaper and add water to the humor section. Too bad newspapers don't really have a humor section, unless you count the politics page. The humor columns came with their own title, and even when I made major changes in the old columns, I mostly stuck with the original title.

Then I divided the book into chapters, because I love organization. (Pay no attention to the condition of my office.) Hopefully the chapter titles will give a sense of the book, which starts with a prologue entitled:

Prologue, or: Prelude to a Forward Preamble, or: The Part People Skip

It's just to keep you on your toes. Some of the chapter titles include:

History ... Or Death

In Sickness and in Health, But Mostly In Sickness.

Dear Marky, or: Advice From the Clueless

That Cartoon Has Got the Boom

The Joy of Travel, or: Yes, There Was Sarcasm in "Joy"

People ... People Hating People

Government, Red Tape, Bureaucracy ... but I Repeat Myself, Just Like the Government

It's a Beautiful Day for Sportsball!

The Three Stooges Got Nothin' On Me

Weather ... Or Not

And then comes the finale, properly called:

Where Epilogues Go To Die

Tell the Pulitzer committee I'm standing by.


Brace yourselves, you luddites ... you could actually read the opening for free, here:

https://www.amazon.com/More-Slightly-off-Mark-Other/dp/1709741287

If you just can't wait and/or want a signed copy, contact Emily or me, or hit up the website, and we'll limber up our writing hands.

 
 

Cold air funnel forms a You shaped Tube



 https://youtu.be/UWU8aLgO71E

 I posted this video of a cold air funnel on my little-used YouTube page (and previously on Instagram, which is a bit more used.) Now that I think of it, it was quite a day for us: We were on our way to the drive-in, our first trip to the movies in something like two years (Black Widow and The Boss Baby: Family Business, both good). On the way, being half-starved, we stopped at McDonalds, also for the first time in about two years. (chicken nuggets and cheeseburger, both okay). I noticed what looked to me a lot like a wall cloud to the south, and as we waited at the stop light nearby, sure enough, a rotating funnel came down out of it.

Luckily I'd already heard cold air funnels might be developing, or I'd have squealed like a toddler and wanted to chase it. By the time we got to the drive-in it had vanished, but as we waited another one came down (or the same one again), so I zoomed my iPhone all the way in and managed to get a serviceable video.

Cold air funnels are kind of baby tornadoes, or maybe supersized dust devils. I've seen a few before, and even on those few occasions when they do touch ground, they rarely cause any damage. Just the same, I'd imagine they gave some people between Auburn and Fort Wayne a bit of a scare, if they happened to be looking up at the time.