Celebrity Death Knell

Orson Bean, Robert Conrad, Kirk Douglas, Mary Higgens Clark, Freddie Silverman, Kobe Bryant, Jim Lehrer, Terry Jones, Edd Byrnes, Buck Henry, Gene Reynolds ... *pauses to catch a breath* ... and we're only in the second month of 2020.

Sounds like it's going to be another of those celebrity death years--in fact, I wonder if I should wait to see who else is going, before I post this. One of the many things they don't tell you about getting older is that the people you loved to watch, read, or listen to will start going, one by one. And it always seems like the new generation of celebrities is comparatively dull and uninteresting.

Or maybe it's because I've just gotten less interested in celebrity.

https://ew.com/celebrity/stars-we-lost-2020-celebrity-deaths/

It's not easy to tell what kind of a person a celebrity really is--being talented doesn't make you a nice guy. But I heard Orson Bean interviewed on Dennis Miller's podcast several times in recent years, and Orson seemed like an honestly good man.
 

A Little Snow Goes a Long Way

Everybody complains about the weather forecasts, but nobody wants to get a meteorology degree and see if they can do it better.

It's an axiom. I assume. I'm not sure, let me check ... yep, that's what an axiom is.

Another axiom is, "The weather was always worse when I was a kid!" ... which in my case is literally true. I think I've mentioned before that the summer I was born, several high temperature records were set that are still there today--and the next winter, several low temperatures records were set that are still in place. So you see, I have actual proof that the weather was worse back then.

(By the way, saying I've mentioned something before is still another sign that you're getting older, along with thinking the weather was worse in your youth, and spewing axioms all the time.)

Whenever it looks like we're going to get weather that might effect driving conditions, I post about it on social media, to alert people. There's been push back about that, from people like ... well, me. "Oh, this is nothing! When I was a kid I had to walk fifty miles to school barefoot, with a blizzard every morning and a heat wave every afternoon, carrying my kid brother and a load of firewood on my back! And I was thankful to have that firewood! (Oh, and uphill, both ways.)

When I was a kid, our dogs didn't have fur coats--just a coating of snow. And they were THANKFUL for that snow.


I rode the bus to school. Well, until I was about thirteen or so, then I moved into town and had to walk to school. Even after I got my own car I walked to school, both ways, every day, no matter what the weather.

It was a block and a half.

I don't warn people for the purpose of fearmongering, which is an accusation often made against professional meteorologists. I do it for purely selfish reasons. I'm an emergency telecommunicator (which is what they call dispatchers these days), and the more careful drivers are, the less likely I am to get a 911 call. I'm lazy. These days, if one person slides off into the ditch during morning drive-time, we'll get more 911 calls than a Godzilla appearance would bring in Tokyo.

Granted, Tokyo is probably used to that by now.

Anyway, I think I've figured out a Catch-22 when it comes to this kind of thing. People complain when we warn them that there's only going to be an inch of snow, or a little sleet, yet the next thing you know vehicles are sliding all over the place, like a hockey game but with less violence. It's because they get out of bed and they don't see three feet of snow blowing into drifts bigger than the national debt. "Oh, it's just a couple of flurries--I can get to work okay."

Thin ice is never a good thing. Except for geese ... it's good for them.


Then they leave for work the same time they usually do, and drive the same speed they usually do, especially if they're in one of those impregnable SUVs, and then --

Bam!

"But it was only a little sleet!"

Yeah, and to quote a favorite movie of mine, Hell is just a sauna. So the Catch-22 is: The better the roads seem, the more likely drivers are to get into trouble.

So I'll keep warning people not only when things are bad, but when things might be bad, because it's the right thing to do. And if people want to ignore warnings ... well, being ignorant often seems to be accompanied by a certain amount of luck, so maybe they'll get by.


Yes, guys--they're doing Valentine's Day again this year.

I was going to lay off the shameless self-promotion this week, but then I remembered ... this.
 

Coming off the big SportsBowl weekend, it takes many men a few days to recover their senses and start thinking of other things. Once they do, they might realize Valentine's Day is coming up, and plan ahead for a special dinner, flowers, flowery dinners, and/or chocolate flowers at dinner.

But probably not.

Because they're men. So, for those of you totally ignorant of the fact that Valentine’s Day is an annual affair, the humor anthology My Funny Valentine is still available in print and e-book. (I have a few copies on hand.) It's an anthology of humor pieces ... about Valentine's Day. It was really easy to title. (Note: One of the humor pieces is mine, but I would have come up with a lamer title.)

Maybe your loved one is allergic to flowers and chocolate, and how sad is that? Buy her a book. Women who read love books. So do men who read, but it's not so hard to shop for men ... or, to put it another way, women are better shoppers.

If your loved one has an e-reader, the Kindle version is just $2.99. If they don’t have one, don’t be cheap—buy them one. If they already have one, be cheap. Or, you could get the print version for $9.95 at Amazon:
I’d advise against getting them the book for the second or third year in a row, though—they’d certainly notice. But I suppose in that case you could go over to www.markrhunter.com (or Amazon, or Barnes and Noble, etc.) and grab one of my romantic comedies for the loving one you love.

Speak of the Devil: The Revenge Of A Jittery Rodent

It seems Phil did not see his shadow this time around, and so spring is right around the corner.



I don't believe it.



You don't believe it.



And now we can't get mad at him for predicting more winter, although we can be mad at him for being wrong.



Speak of the Devil: The Revenge Of A Jittery Rodent: It

50 Authors from 50 States: Alaska: and Everywhere - Promotional Guru and Prol...

Alaska and everywhere on 50 Authors For 50 States:



50 Authors from 50 States: Alaska: and Everywhere - Promotional Guru and Prol...: C. Hope Clark gives back to her writing community through her website FundsforWriters.com. The success of the website and newsletter earned ...

Scooby Doo meets The Thin Man

This was lost in my blog drafts--it was actually written several months ago, then forgotten! It's interesting to me, because in it I speculate on a novel project I'd just started on--but in the real timeline, I just finished the first draft.

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Recently I had some free time and wasn't in a position to go through photos (and didn't feel like doing promotion work), so I jumped to the next project: and wrote a 1,400 word outline for a future humor/mystery book. I'm thinking series! But then, I usually am.

Most of my published novels so far have had something of a mystery element to them, but this one's a full mystery that I gave the working title of We Love Trouble.  It's about a wandering husband and wife team and their dog, because everything's better with dogs ... kind of a mix of The Thin Man and Scooby Doo.

And who is the bad guy?

Well, even if I knew, I wouldn't tell you. Sheesh.

Not that I haven't narrowed it down, but I'm thinking about doing the Agatha Christie thing: Write the whole story, then decide in the final chapter who the real killer is. 

I figure, hey: If it worked for her ....

(But apparently that's not the way she did it, at least not for every book. It's a mystery.)

The important thing is to have fun with it, of course. So, what do you think? Can these little grey cells handle shaping a comic mystery?



http://markrhunter.com/
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

99 cents for no campfires, so don't be fussy

This may seem an odd time of the year for this, but I've been working on a novel set at a horse campground in late April, so to me it fits right in. In conjunction with it appearing Monday on the FussyLibrarian website, here's my periodic soap selling about one of my favorite books, The No-Campfire Girls.

Half the proceeds of this novel benefits Friends of Latonka, an organization made to support Emily's former Girl Scout camp in Wappapello, Missouri. That's the camp singer Cheryl Crow went to. No, I'm not making that up.

My fourteen regular readers, you know the story:

Fifteen year old Beth Hamlin is horrified to discover her beloved summer camp must go without campfires this year, due to the fire hazard from a drought. But Beth isn't one to just sit (or swim, or boat, or horseback) around. When her new cabin mate, Cassidy, claims a local Cherokee can do a rain dance, she jumps into action.

All they have to do is trick the Camp Director into letting Running Creek do the dance, avoid the local bully and a flying arrow or two, and keep from getting caught plotting with Cassidy’s firefighter father on a forbidden cell phone. With luck southern Indiana will get a nice, soaking rain, and Camp Inipi can have proper campfires again.

But when things go horribly wrong, the whole area is endangered by a double disaster. Now Beth and her unit may be the only people who can save not only their camp, but everyone in it.

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It was a lot of fun for me to write and seems to be fun to read, judging from the comments. Plus, hey--99 cents for an e-book and five bucks for a print copy is a pretty darned good buy these days. 

Like poison ivy, you can get it all over the place. But the most popular place to get it (the book, not poison ivy) is on our website, or on Amazon:


 
Please consider it for you and/or a young adult you love, because a day without reading is like, well, a day without campfires. Or, best case scenario, reading around a campfire.


A Short Short Story Update

I wrote awhile back that one of my short stories, "Grocery Purgatory", was bought and would be published soon. Sadly, the publisher suffered a death in the family, and the story was put, shall we say, into purgatory for awhile. With smaller publications, it's not uncommon for something to knock the whole operation off the rails, and it takes some time to recover from that.

I waited until after the holidays to inquire on it, and was told that "Grocery Purgatory" is now coming out in March, in their print publication "The Fifth Di ...". So it's still going to be out there, just a bit later than anticipated.



http://markrhunter.com/
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

Fire History and Fund Raising

It's incumbent upon me to notify people of this every now and then, because I'd like, occasionally, to present a check to the fire department for their training and emergency equipment fund. I should also look up the meaning of "incumbent", just in case.

“Smoky Days and Sleepless Nights: A Century or So With the Albion Fire Department

Local firefighting history, illustrated:

Proceed from all sales go to the Albion Volunteer Fire Department, so spread the word!