Slightly Off the Mark: My Author Appearance Necessity List

Don't mind this, it's just a list. I don't do author appearances often, so I want to make sure we have everything we need. So, what does every good author, and most of the bad ones, need to make sure they have with them?

1. Books. This is kinda important. If you're going to do a book signing, you should have something to sign.

2. Change. When one goes somewhere to sell books, one has to assume some books will be sold. Thus: change for those high rollers who walk around with hundred dollar bills. I don't know any of them, either.

3. A calculator. After all, the whole reason I became a writer is because I can't do math in my head.

4. Tylenol. You'd be surprised. No, probably you wouldn't.

5. A camera. Some years ago my wife took a photo of me signing a book for an Indiana State Senator who, apparently not having read my columns about politicians, was very nice. You never know what you might get a picture of when you're out in the public.

6. Paper and pens. The pens are to, duh, sign books. The paper is because, even though I'll have both an iPhone and an iPad with me, I don't trust technology.

7. A tarp and an umbrella, if the venue is outside. There's a reason why books aren't usually sold outdoors, but I laugh in the face of danger. Well, I cringe, which looks a little like laughing, if you squint.

8. Business cards. Emily designed me my very own business card! Sometimes, when it's slow at events, I sneak around the crowds and pull the opposite of pick pocketing, leaving my calling card behind. Yeah, that was me.

9. A table and chairs. The basics, right? We bought a folding chair that's so comfortable I'm thinking of throwing away our couch.

10. Liquid refreshments. I'm thinking water. Hey, I don't need any help from alcohol to look foolish.

11. Displays and signs. To display stuff ... like signs.

12. Scotch Tape. It's the author's duct tape.

A lot of that stuff will fit nicely into the two totes we bought for just that purpose, although, man, books can get heavy when you're carrying them a long way. How about you other authors? What's on your "to-bring" list? And what would you potential readers like to see an author supplied with?