Showing posts with label anniversaries. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anniversaries. Show all posts

Be Steel, My Heart

 The Fifth of March is my eleventh wedding anniversary, so I checked and found out the traditional gift for that particular landmark is ... steel.

So I gave Emily a license plate.

I don't know what I'm more worried about, her reaction or how soon the owner will find out it's gone.

Apparently steel symbolizes strength and integrity, and how hardened you have to be to your spouse's bad habits to last eleven years. 

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I think our best mutual anniversary present was the dog. Also, one of the more expensive, but never mind. The truth is Beowulf wasn't an anniversary gift at all, but he's been with us for almost our entire marriage--he's basically our child, and one year I even had his portrait painted (penciled?) as a present for her. The only thing that's lasted longer for us are some of my shirts, although for some reason I keep finding them accidentally tossed into the trash can.

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I suspect Emily's given up on expecting a lot out of me on special occasions like this, but hope springs eternal. I freeze up when it comes to preparing for these things. Congress will balance the budget before I get around to planning. I'm also utterly unable to compose a nice greeting card message, despite the fact that I'm an actual writer. I'm sure a good psychiatrist could get that all sorted out, but I have to wonder whether that sorting would screw something else up. I'm a carefully balanced stack of anxiety and insecurity at this point in my life--why take chances?

Just the same, I think she still appreciates me ... I think ... and I know she still loves me, or she'd head back to her home state where winters are milder. (Except maybe this year.) She also knows what I need more than I do myself, which is probably a thing with all couples, and she takes good care of me. I try to take care of her, too. I guess that's the important thing.

As for gifts, what Emily really wants is a horse, of course.

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And I think Beowulf would be okay with it--he's touched noses with horses before. However, if we tried to keep a horse in our back yard I'm pretty sure someone would notice, and that's not allowed in town. Unfair, right? Horses can come in handy. But we're on the lookout for a place in the country, so sooner or later I'll get her that horse ... s ... horses.

 

So Emily, if you're still talking to me--you never know for sure--I love you, and I'm sorry for my fails, some of which are epic. I'm working on them! Well, I'm working on some of them. But I'll always be there for you, even when I'm being there badly, and know this:

I love you more than chocolate.



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A Tin Tenth Anniversary

 It's our tenth wedding anniversary!

And I'm working. Twelve hour shifts. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.

It's a massive case of epic fail, and I can only say I was going to take the weekend off, but things happened (to other people, this time). Our actual celebration is going to be in a couple of weeks, when I did manage to get the weekend off. I have big plans!

I have no plans. Who am I kidding?

Oh, I did a little thinking ahead. I looked up what the traditional gift was for a tenth anniversary, and I found the traditional gift was, traditionally, tin or aluminum.

Huh?

Well, I could buy her an aluminum mobile home, but it would just get sucked up by a tornado sometime in May. But thinking of tornadoes reminded me of someone I know who might have advice on the subject:

That's him. His name is Nick Chopper, but ever since a series of rather horrendous accidents, during which his body was replaced, bit by bit, by metal, he goes by The Tin Woodman. He's had a lot of adventures since then, but now he lives in the Winkie Country of Oz, where he built a castle made completely out of tin.

What I'm saying is, he knows a lot about tin. Aluminum, maybe not.

"Hey, Nick", I said. "Can I ax you a question?"

Nick smiled, kind of, which made his face squeak a little. "I'm afraid my friend the Scarecrow beat you to that joke. Several times."

Just my luck. I outlined my problem: upcoming tenth anniversary, stereotypical helpless male, so on. "Can you give me any advice on gifts?"

"Well, you could have her nickel plated."

"I what?"

We were speaking by Magic Picture (long story), so I could only see his upper half, but I had the feeling he was crossed his legs. Can tin do that? "I had myself nickle plated some time ago. It helps preserve my body, especially the joints. They're made of steel, you know."

"Oh. That explains--"

"The rusting, exactly." Nick leaned forward. "Between you and me, I'm only tin coated. Don't tell."

"Oh, of course. But Emily wouldn't want to be nickel plated, being, as you might say, a meat person."

Beowulf takes exception to the term "meat person". He prefers "mom".


"I see your point. Maybe you could make her a tin suit of armor? It wouldn't stand up in a real battle, but it would move people out of her path when she's shopping."

"She wouldn't like the noise."

"How about giving her an extra heart? You probably have all sorts of hearts just laying around, in the outside world."

"Well, there are plenty that don't get used out here. Let me think it over. Meanwhile, remind Dorothy she still owes me ten bucks for that book I sent her ... and $923.50 for shipping."

I'm not too worried about the present, because ten years ago today Emily signed a document promising not to make fun of me and/or cause any permanent harm. In public.


Later I talked to some other people from Oz, and the prevailing opinion was that I should get her an emerald studded ball gown. See, they don't use money in Oz, plus they have a lot of emeralds. And they throw a lot of dances. But I think that might be as bit out of my price range.

I did finally find her a gift, something I think she'll appreciate, something that--I'm not going to identify. I'm no dummy.

Well, not usually.


It's Our Sheets and Pottery Anniversary

I can't tell you what I got my wife for our eighth wedding anniversary, because it hasn't arrived yet, and she sometimes reads my blog.

And by "it hasn't arrived yet" I mean as I write this our anniversary's two days from now, and it hasn't frakking arrived yet!.

Luckily, my wife has low expectations of anything that happens during wintertime, including her birthday and Christmas. Here in Indiana, no matter how much The Weather Channel goes on about "meteorological winter", early March is still winter. And how.

Sometimes the best I can do during winter is make the bed, then get back in it again.

She knows I appreciate her, I think. I mean, I drove five hundred miles to propose. I gave in to the idea of getting a dog. I've slept in my car for her. (Long story.) Still, it never hurts to be sure, so Emily, if you're reading this: I appreciate you.

"I love my Emily."


She might not have time to read this, because she's been busy editing one of my novel manuscripts, and in a few weeks I'll be throwing pictures at her. Not literally. (Another long story.)

I should have checked ahead on traditional wedding gifts, because I discovered bronze and pottery are traditional for an eighth anniversary, which I think this is, and I might even be right. Guys, if you want advice, pottery is a no-go. It seems too much like ... dishes. You don't want to go that way.

Bronze isn't easy either--I think she'd have liked bookends, since we have lots of books and it could be a way to say we go together, or at least that we go together with books between us. But what if I somehow get her angry? Have you ever been hit by a bronze bookend? Me neither, but it would probably hurt.


Sure, she'd like a horse ... but you'd be surprised how expensive it is to bronze a horse.


What I'd really have liked to get her, if I'd gotten off my butt and researched in time, is a Bronze Age sword. Yeah. She likes swords, and it would have been really cool, although it does bring back the question of her getting mad at me.

The more modern eighth anniversary gift is linen and lace. So ... lace lingerie? That's really more a gift for the guys, guys ... think carefully. As for linen, there's clothing, sheets, and paper. Linen shirts. Linen sheets. No.

Well, if she doesn't like what I did get her, I could always have myself bronzed, then have the statue draped with lace. I'll let you know.


Happy birthday, Emily!

So, it's been a really awful December.

This possibly relates to the fact that it was a really awful November, but December just went right into the sewer, sometimes literally. Illnesses, scheduling problems, weather, blood pressure--which I guess goes with illnesses--and I'm currently in pain because of the previously mentioned sewer (long story).

Anyway, I'm stressed out to the max, which I guess goes with blood pressure, but I've got two things going for me:

One, after December 21st the days start getting longer.

Two, I always know my wife's birthday, because after that the days start getting longer.

That's a cool way to remember a date. There's also calendar phone apps, of course, and on a related note, our wedding anniversary is March 5th.

She's going to kill me for posting this pictures without getting approval first, but--just look at them! They're SO cute!

Emily always knows when I'm feeling down, ill, or stressed, and she usually knows how to help fix me. Beowulf knows all that stuff, too ... I'm the only insensitive person in the house.

But anyway, this post is mainly for Emily:





Even though I usually screw up your birthday by not being prepared. On a related note, I'm not prepared for your birthday. But I'm not too concerned, because I locked up your sword collection.

Emily does not have unlimited patience, but by gosh, she sure has a lot of it. She takes care of me a lot, and if you don't believe me I can show you the scars, and she also takes care of the dog and a lot of other problems, not that the dog and I are problems except for when we are.

So here's to Emily, who deserves to live in a way warmer place, but all I can do is turn up the thermostat and offer to make her hot chocolate. Everyone wish her a happy birthday!

I mean, just look at them! Could they be any cuter?



Happy birthday to Wizard of Oz -- the movie

I started scratching my head recently when I noticed buzz about this being the 80th anniversary of The Wizard of Oz.

Um ... no, it's not. It's the 119th anniversary of The Wizard of Oz, as of this summer. What kind of over the rainbow scheme are they trying to pull off, here?

What the pundits are actually talking about, of course, is the MGM-made movie The Wizard of Oz. Not only does the book precede it by 39 years, but it isn't even the first movie version.

Fun fact: At no time did Toto climb into a giant "O".



Just for the record, L. Frank Baum wrote fourteen Oz books, and some related short tales. After his death, other authors took over writing "official" Oz books. (Oz fanatics will mention the "Famous Forty", which sadly aren't so famous anymore.) With Baum's original books in the public domain there are now dozens of unofficial Oz books, not including the one I've been plotting out in my mind.

Baum produced a multimedia stage presentation about Oz in 1908, and the first actual film, partially based on a 1902 musical play, came out in 1910. There were several more related movies, including the 1925 movie called ... The Wizard of Oz.

I'm just sayin'.
The original cover. I have what are called the "White cover" books. They're white.



Ah, but it's the 1939 movie everyone thinks of, these days. When I was a kid you could catch it on TV exactly once a year--no DVR, no reruns, no second chances. I cleared my schedule (which was easy, because I didn't have one) and caught it every year; yes, I love the movie and always will. I have no issue with the MGM movie beyond it leading people to believe Dorothy Gale is a brunette. (She's blonde, dammit! Depending on who you ask.) I love musicals anyway, and it remains a favorite of mine.

But the books are better.

Well, most of them. Baum had to rush his product to feed his family, from time to time.

The Wizard eventually came back to Oz. Um, spoiler alert! Notice Dorothy temporarily traded Toto in for a pink kitten (long story). Also, she traded her hair in for blonde.



My parents got me the collection of Baum's fourteen books, and as soon as I finished reading the last one, I'd go back and start the first one over again. Although I didn't know dozens of others even existed at the time, the first fourteen were enough to cement my love of reading, which in turn kick-started my love of writing.

Without the Oz books, I maybe would have found a better paying part-time job. But, without the Oz books there would have been no twenty-five years worth of humor columns, no extra credit short stories in English class, no working on the school newspaper, no researching and writing about local history, and no ten published books. No love of reading--who knows what kind of trouble I would have gotten into, without books to keep me busy?

So thank you, Oz ... no matter what the media.

Dorothy as a blonde, Ozma as a brunette. You know ... Ozma? Ruler of Oz? It's in the books--! Oh, never mind.

Old Firefighters Never Die: They Just Smell Smoky

Thirty-nine years ago today (July 14th, since I'm posting this early--or if you're reading it later), I walked into a former auto dealership, past a twenty-eight year old fire engine and a bread truck that had been converted into a rescue unit, and asked to become a volunteer firefighter.

To this day, I don't know where I found the courage. I was painfully shy and not exactly an action hero, but there were two things I wanted to do with my life: write and fight fires. Not at the same time, you understand.

Having those as my full-time jobs never worked out.

Still, I summoned the courage to walk into that meeting room, my first experience with entering a smoke-filled room as a firefighter. (Smoking was allowed inside at that time, you see--and some of the members had taken to pipes and cigars.)

The Fire Chief asked my age, and didn't seem all that pleased that I'd turned eighteen that very day. Only decades later did I learn that the Albion Fire Department had, just a few short years before, reduced the minimum age for a volunteer from 21 to 18. I probably seemed like a snot-nosed, green little punk, which I was.

Two of the trucks we had when I joined in 1980. Yes, I lined up the sign for this photo.

For reasons I'm not interested in getting into, our department was in dire shape back then. We spent many years building it back up: replacing old trucks, updating equipment and training, improving protective gear and communications equipment. We got a lot better.

The very old, the old, and the much newer.

The AFD protects 96 square miles, mostly rural. As members we sometimes disagree on the best way to do things, but we've always understood our job is to protect everyone and everything to the best of our abilities. We've had our losses; we've had our saves. My home is one in a line of three buildings that at one time or another caught fire, but are still standing today thanks to dedicated volunteers.

Our job is to take the battle to the fire, not to wait while the fire comes to us. It's to do our level best to keep the danger as far back as possible. To protect businesses and farm fields; homes and wildlife sanctuaries; factories and a state park.

Big water, four wheel drive, and--if you look closely--medical assistance, all at the ready.

 Emergency services are inefficient by nature. We can't just rent out equipment we need for a certain incident at a certain time, because emergencies don't call in to schedule themselves. Last year we didn't get such terrible snowstorms that we needed both our four wheel drives just to get out of the station. Next year, we might have half a dozen such storms. Tomorrow we might have a car fire that's out on arrival, or we might need our foam equipment for an overturned gasoline tanker, or we might send a brush truck to aid a neighboring department at a field fire, or we might have to extricate five people from a car crushed beneath a semi. Or none of those. Or all.

It's our job to continually improve our department; to leave it better than when we walked through the firehouse door. To keep it from falling behind again.

Which takes people, as well as the right equipment.

 I don't know how long I'll be there for that.

This is not a "woe is me" post; I've had a good run. But I've had some problems with energy-sucking pain in recent years, some of it chronic, some of it of the "ouch! I'm dying right now!" variety. Ironically, it started when I hurt my spine at a fire in the 80s, and was exacerbated (get your mind out of the gutter and look it up) when I pulled a back muscle at an accident scene. (Fun fact: Trying to hide your pain instead of immediately seeking treatment is stupid.)

Some days I can fight fire; most days I can do something; some days I lay whining on the couch, like a man-flu victim.

In recent years I've floated the idea of being just the safety officer, at least on bad pain days, since that job can be done without a great deal of manual labor. Turn off utilities, check air quality, monitor hazardous operations, things of that nature.

Blue helmet = Safety Officer. Well, on our department, anyway.

After all, a safety officer should be present at every major emergency scene, and a lot of smaller ones. The first time I took action as safety officer, it was just a wildland fire. (Okay, it was a really big one, but still.) Somebody needs to take care of that stuff, especially as firefighters tend to be the go get 'em type.

All I have to do is discipline myself not to haul a hose into the building on my bad days. Lately, as the bad days increase, I've been thinking I could do that ... um, not do that.

 But like all volunteer departments, we're undermanned. The question is, can I be useful enough in that supporting role, even if it's just keeping a head count or helping with water supply, when we don't have enough people as it is? Can't my being there be at least of a little help, even when I can't throw an air pack on?

Mostly I'm just thinking out loud, here, motivated by the turn of another year. All that is a question for the Chief and the fire board, not something I can decide on my own. But I'm starting to think it's that or retirement, and I do like to be useful.

Of course, there's always fund-raising through the writing of books, in which my wife and I are both engaged as we speak. But, like an old fire horse, I'll always want to gallop to the scene. Mostly I'm writing this because--maybe also like that old fire horse, if it could talk--seeing that anniversary come up started me waxing nostalgic again. I guess old firefighters never die: They just start telling war stories.


This one, and another one in progress.

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