Showing posts with label book review. Show all posts
Showing posts with label book review. Show all posts

book review: Schlock Mercenary

So, here's why I haven't read many books so far this year: Because I've read fifteen volumes of Schlock Mercenary, a web comic turned graphic novel. Did I like it? Well, I'm on my fifteenth volume, so there you go.

In the very first strip Schlock joins, as you might expect, a group of space mercenaries called Tagon's Toughs. To paraphrase the old A-Team opening, if you've got the money--and if you can find them--you can hire Captain Kaff Tagon's army-for profit. But you won't have any trouble finding them, because they leave disaster in their wake.


 Schlock, one of the few known carbosilicate amorphs in the galaxy, looks like nothing so much as a big pile of poo, and is very close to indestructible. He approaches his job with glee and loves nothing so much as dismantling anything and anyone he gets aimed at. When bad guys stand in his way, they usually end up blasted or eaten.

Meanwhile, the rest of Tagon's Toughs range from humans, to aliens of every type, to Earth animals who gained sentience. The company's biggest antagonists are also its biggest allies: Artificial Intelligences running ships and worlds, which communicate through avatars that mostly look like humans (although one resembles a super-cute koala).

Writer and artist Howard Taylor covers modern problems ranging from politicians to nanobots, using parody, satire, and just plain laugh-out-loud humor to deal with a violent universe that's always on the edge of blowing up--sometimes literally.

 

Taylor himself admits to being weak on the artistic side when he first started out. But the art gets better, and the writing is on the money right from the get-go. He happily tackles just about every science fiction concept ever invented, hard and soft, and as the series goes on the challenges and players get bigger and bigger. Taylor's not afraid to kill off characters, and those that eventually come back do so in a convincing way--or at least, a way that may be possible in the future. It's clear the author has a good grasp on technology, even if he happily strays from known science for a story or a laugh.

Meanwhile--and this might be the most surprising part of Schlock Mercenary--Taylor gives us relatable, engaging characters along with the well-plotted stories. As the scale gets bigger and bigger, the characters change and grow and, as mentioned earlier, the art gets better.

Check out the strip or order the books here:

https://www.schlockmercenary.com/

You can click on "Schlock Mercenary Begins", which will take you to a redone version of the first strip, and below that is a link to the original strip. Did I mention the art gets better? It does.


 

And my stuff is here:

 

 Remember: Reading keeps you from turning into a big pile of poo.

 

 

 

 

The Threat Of Paid Book Reviews

Book reviews are incredibly important to authors. They give a sense of legitimacy, serve as free advertising, guide other readers to their works, and give them a better chance to have their story visible on certain book seller sites. Storm Chaser, for instance, had 28 ratings and 15 written reviews on Goodreads.

But since being re-released, Storm Chaser is down to only 7 ratings and 3 written reviews on Amazon, which is why I begged people who previously reviewed it to post their reviews again. From what I've heard, about 50 reviews are needed to trigger Amazon's mystical logarithms and increase traffic to your book.

(Plus it just got its first bad review, which dropped the average rating considerably.)

"If each of these came with a review, I'd have ... well, more reviews!"

 

It's hardly surprising, then, that some people resort to paying for reviews. If everyone who read a book would review it--even just pop in with an "I liked it"--it would be no problem, but most readers don't take the time. It's easy, on the other hand, to find people willing to review your book in exchange for money.

Unethical, maybe illegal in some cases, but easy.

Not only is it considered a form of cheating, but it would violate the terms of service for the big book seller site, Amazon. You do not want to be kicked off Amazon.

Some people even consider it in poor form to ask for free reviews, but most authors do it. They're not thrilled about it, any more than they're thrilled about doing promotion and publicity, but with over two million new books coming out every year, it's hard to avoid getting desperate.

 

Does this screenshot from a TV interview count as promotion? Yes. Yes, it does.

 

 When a group of people get desperate ... the scammers come out.

Awhile back I got this e-mail from "German W. Woo":

 

As of this writing, I am the only person offering GUARANTEED reviews for Amazon. If you are looking for more reviews for your book, please don't hesitate to contact me.

Freebie seekers can kiss my a** and lick it wet before I consider offering them a free review. In short, if you don't have money to spend, don't contact me and waste my time; rather, keep begging and struggling for reviews on Goodreads and Facebook as usual!


Goodness. Someone took their nasty pills. A day later I got this e-mail, from "Allison S. Cummins":


As of this writing, I am the only person offering GUARANTEED reviews for Amazon. If you are looking for more reviews for your book, please don't hesitate to contact me.

Friendly note to: Review beggars - Either have some respect for yourself and your book and learn to value and PAY for the time of reviewers as well, or please take a walk. We haven't opened a charity foundation here; this is a FOR-PROFIT business! I am sure you don't work for free in your professional life, so don't expect anyone else to work for free for you either!


Wait ... what's wrong with this picture? Let's take a look at another e-mail, from "Marion J. Jenkins":


As of this writing, I am the only person offering GUARANTEED reviews for Amazon. If you are looking for more reviews for your book, please don't hesitate to contact me. Don't want these emails? Then FU*K OFF from Goodreads and Facebook.


Not exactly friendly customer service. But wait ... each of them are the only people offering GUARANTEED reviews for Amazon? I thought anyone could post an Amazon review. Now here are three only ones. Shouldn't there only be one ... only one?

 

Also, aren't they being just a bit rude, for someone supposedly offering a service? They're not the government. Are they?

Well, scammers gotta scam, a**holes gotta ... um ... a**. It didn't concern me all that much until I got this message on my Goodreads account:

 

Mark, SWINE HOPE YOUR FAMILY DIES THIS NEW YEAR AND SALES OF YOUR PATHETIC BOOK BECOMES ZERO. BUY BOOK REVIEWS OR GET OUT OF GOODREADS ASAP. IF YOU DON'T, I WILL TELL ALL OF MY FRIENDS TO BUY AND REFUND YOUR BOOK ON AMAZON SO YOUR SALES RANK TANKS. YOU CAN'T PROMOTE YOUR BOOKS HERE WITHOUT PAYING ME. WE KNOW YOUR ADDRESS TOO -WILL SEND CRIMINALS AND THIEVES THERE SO YOUR NEW YEAR CELEBRATION IS SPOILED HAHA

 

 That was from Grace, who yelled the same message 39 times. I doubt very much that she has friends. Also, aren't thieves automatically criminals, except in Congress? Ironically, scammers don't seem to edit their threats. They also didn't count the number of guns (not to mention swords) in my house.

Wendall sent this one five times:


WE HAVE A COPY OF Hoosier Hysterical, WHICH WE WILL UPLOAD TO TPB, readfrom.net AND OTHER PIRATE SITES, IF YOU KEEP ON SPAMMING OUR GOODREADS SITE. ONLY WAY TO STOP US IS TO STOP ASKING FOR BOOK REVIEWS HERE PERMANENTLY. QUIT SPAMMING THIS SITE IF WE DON'T WANT US TO TAKE AFORESAID ACTIONS; YOUR LAWS CAN'T HARM US. DECIDE FAST


My first reaction was, "Yay, they bought a copy of Hoosier Hysterical!" My second was to laugh at someone who sent the same five messages, accusing me of spamming them.

So I decided fast, and my decision was f**k you.

I will not pay anyone for book reviews, let alone scumbag spammers like this. The closest I'll ever come to it is giving out advanced review copies, which is an accepted practice--but no money will go from me toward a review. Especially to an idiot.

 If you support my decision ... then please. leave a book review.

Remember these guys? It's the Santa Mafia, and they're watching you.


 

Remember: Every book review is like Heavenly music sprinkled with chocolate.