Another Pessimistic Author Theory

 I tested a theory this month, and sadly came to the conclusion that I was right. I've learned that my predictions and theories are usually only right if they're bad. Is that pessimism? Come to think of it, I should write a science fiction story about the subject. I could call it The Eeyore Presumption.

 

"But you probably won't."

 

Anyway, I'm sure you all know that my novel Coming Attractions has been in the Smashwords Summer/Winter sale for a few years now. My hope was that a whole lot of people would download it for free, and some might leave a review and/or buy some of our other books. I mean, it's free, right?

But Coming Attractions first came out seven years ago, and I've been promoting it the whole time. My rather pessimistic theory is that if anyone who knows or follows me wants to get the book for free, they already have. Social media isn't the promotion platform it once was, and while I see new faces from time to time, all the old faces have had several chances to pick it up.

As I write this, the July promotion is mostly over, and I've moved ... four copies.

 

 

Some of you might remember that old expression, "You can't give them away". It's not a complimentary expression.

Maybe what I should do is write a sequel, and use the original as a loss leader (as promotion people put it). I had a side character in mind to be the lead in a second novel, anyway, and I like writing series. I even established in a Christmas short story that the world of Coming Attractions is set in the same world as the Storm Chaser series. Crossover potential?

Well, then ... back to writing. I should be encouraged to hurry by this photo I stumbled across online:

A little spooky, ain't it?

 

 

There's still a little time to pick up free and reduced price books over at Smashwords. Here's mine:

https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

 

 

 

But we’ll still be selling the soap, in all those old familiar faces:

 

·        Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

·        Barnes & Noble:  https://www.barnesandnoble.com/search?attributes.contributorId=13727646

·        Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

·        Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

·        Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

·        Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

·        Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

·        Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

·        Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

·        Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

·        Substack:  https://substack.com/@markrhunter

·        Smashwords:  https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

·        Audible:  https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

 

Remember: Free books have value, too.

 

Hoosier Hysterical's 10th Anniversary, Complete With Reviews!

May 1st was the 10th anniversary of the publication of Hoosier Hysterical: How the West Became the Midwest Without Moving at All. So the theme of this blog is: no, not that, it's "reviews".

 Authors often beg, and sometimes pay for, reviews of their books. (Note: I do NOT pay for reviews.) They're critically important for our success, both because they pump up our algorithms in various book seller and social media sites, and because they put the eyes of readers on your writing. Not literally. Ew.

Your review doesn't have to be as detailed as this one: A simple "I like this book", or even throwing some stars at it, helps greatly. Still, I really like this review, because, well, the reviewer thinks I'm funny. I've always said, if you can't be rich or have superpowers, be funny. Okay, I said it once.

In addition to the review, the Whatzup regional magazine also printed a 2016 article about the book's release, which you can find here: 

https://whatzup.com/featured-writer-mark-r-hunter-the-writing-fireman/ 

 

Just in time for Indiana’s bicentennial comes a new history book, that compiles everything notable about our fair state through the ages into one tidy volume. Yes, it’s a book about Indiana history, but it is worth reading anyway, not just because you really should know something about the state in which you live (and in which you were probably born and raised, too) but because it’s written by Noble County native Mark R. Hunter, and he’s a pretty funny guy.

His take on Indiana history is thorough but irreverent, and even if you have to cast a skeptical eye on some of his historical claims (I honestly don’t think the prehistoric mounds in central Indiana were actually ancient outhouses), you’ll probably learn some new true facts about your state by the time you’ve finished the book.

In Hoosier Hysterical, Hunter begins almost at the very beginning of Indiana history. He doesn’t start with the Hoosier state congealing out of a mass of molten goo as the Earth’s crust solidified, but he picks up the story just a little later, when the first humans wandered into the land we know so well.

“Some of them made their way to Central America, discovered chocolate, and lived in paradise,” he writes. “Others took a wrong turn while circling Indianapolis, and boy, is that easy to do. They settled in the Midwest, imported corn from the much happier natives of Central America, and the rest is history.”

That history is the story that Hunter tells, from the settling of the eventual state by those early natives, to the later infiltration of the land by Europeans, to the centuries that the Indiana territory spent as a wilderness battleground where those Europeans fought off the natives and each other, established forts and settlements, and generally made a mess of things.

Hunter’s journey through Indiana’s history is long and detailed, but it sticks closely to the highlights you’d find in a drier, not so fun history book in school. You’ll find out about William Henry Harrison and Tecumseh and Anthony Wayne and Tippecanoe, and all those other famous names that you’ve heard about at one time or another, but can’t quite remember what it was that you were supposed to remember about them.

The book’s heavy on what happened before the state was a state, and what happened during the first hundred years that it was a state. The second hundred years, not so much. Hunter augments the history, though, with trivia—which is very closely related to history when you think about it. He gives us explanations of Indiana’s symbols (did you know Indiana has an official state rock?) and he crafts loving, if silly stories about all those Indiana things we’ve come to love by living here all our lives. He even tackles the greatest of all Hoosier mysteries, the origin of the word “Hoosier.” Of course, he doesn’t provide a convincing theory of the word’s origination (no one ever has or ever will) but at least he has fun trying. 

There are also many chapters about things that make Indiana special: the Indianapolis 500, the many famous people who were born here, the movies and TV shows that were either set or filmed in Indiana, the state’s many parks and natural attractions and many other tidbits and minutiae. Did you know that the famous Coca-Cola bottle design was created in Terre Haute? Neither did I, but now we both do. These are the kinds of things that make it possible to live with even a tiny bit of pride in a state that rarely makes it to the top of the lists of really important things.

We native Hoosiers have spent our lives in a state of constant self-deprecation. We’ve had to, having been born in a state that most other Americans wouldn’t be able to find on a map.

We’ve learned how to gently mock the state of our birth while maintaining a quiet affection for a place that is actually pretty nice if you really pay attention to it. That’s a balance that Hunter holds quite well throughout Hoosier Hysterical, and the book is one more Hoosier product that we can be proud of.

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You’re sure to find some places to review our books here, or at least buy them:

 

·        Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

·        Barnes & Noble:  https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

·        Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

·        Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

·        Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

·        Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

·        Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

·        Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

·        Substack:  https://substack.com/@markrhunter

·        Smashwords:  https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

·        Audible:  https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

 

Remember: Every time an author gets a review, their heart grows three sizes. More, if it’s a five star.

 

Finally, Something AI Is Good For

Lots of us knew AI would be trouble, but nobody listened. We knew it would want to kill all of us -- that was a given. We didn't expect it to take over all the artistic stuff humans were doing.

"I have a book in me. I'll be back with it."

 

Of the thirty million books published on Amazon in 2023, 45% were written using AI. Another 52% were written by AI. A new AI written book is produced every time I hit the snooze button on my alarm clock. Artificial Intelligence doesn't argue over book contracts, doesn't miss deadlines, and doesn't have booze filled lost weekends when they're supposed to be editing their manuscript.

I hate AI.

I also hate spam. Not the food, but the emails, messages, and phone calls from people who want your money in return for, preferably, nothing. Until recently. Now I've discovered something AI generated spam can be good for.

You see, I've been getting emails from "people" who want to help me reach more readers, get more book reviews, and overall do all those things writers would really like help at doing. It used to be easy to tell which messages were spam:

"Dear Sir Mark"

But not anymore. Now AI takes two tenths of a millisecond to read everything ever written on my social media, including about my books, and generates an email so personalized it actually makes you hesitate. For instance, I got this one:

 

"Your upcoming release Haunted Noble County, Indiana immediately caught my attention. The way you blend small-town history with eerie legends from haunted hills and theaters to the mysterious “Thing in the Basement” creates the perfect mix of folklore and spine-tingling intrigue.

"I also love that you both bring a historian’s eye to the paranormal. It gives readers not just chills, but a deeper appreciation of the places and people behind the stories. Books like this are perfect for both history buffs and fans of the supernatural."

 

Wow. That's a book I want to read!  The only thing suspicious is that "Abdullahi", whose email address looks like a cat walked across the keyboard, then adds, "I’d be happy to share ideas on how you could amplify excitement and reach more readers who crave the haunted and the historical."

Hey--I'm the idea guy.

"Can computers hold my books in a photo? I mean, other than ebooks?"

 

Before I hit delete, I got a brainstorm. Writers hate writing blurbs, and most hate doing promotion. What if I kept the good stuff from the AI spam--and used it for promotion? Check out this one:

 

"Haunted Noble County, Indiana sounds fascinating, blending history with ghostly legends feels like such a unique way to capture the spirit (and spirits!) of the area. The “Thing in the Basement” alone makes me want to know every story you’ve uncovered. Your passion for local history really shines through across your body of work"

 

That's gold, man. If humans were as interested in my work as that supercomputer is, I'd be on PBS discussing adverbs with Stephen King. 

 But it's not just our newest book. I could put this one right on the back cover:

 

 "Congratulations on Hoosier Hysterical: How the West Became the Midwest Without Moving at All! You’ve created a rare gem, a history book that’s equal parts hilarious and educational. By blending sharp wit with off-the-wall storytelling, you’ve transformed Indiana history into something not just digestible but downright fun.

"Your playful approach covering everything from Paleo-armadillos to Mad Anthony Wayne makes Hoosier Hysterical an ideal read for history buffs who don’t take themselves too seriously, teachers who want engaging supplemental material, and Midwestern readers eager to celebrate their roots with a laugh."

 

"I found this in the digital wilderness! Can I keep it?

It sure did its homework, although granted it only took a nanosecond. The same can be said about this look at Storm Chaser:

 

"Storm Chaser takes a natural disaster—something universally feared—and turns it into the spark for a deeply human story. That first image of Chance pulling Allie out of danger while a tornado bears down is cinematic, but what really makes the book compelling is what happens after the storm passes. The tension, the suspicion, and the sparks flying between two people who shouldn’t fit but somehow do—it gives readers more than just adrenaline, it gives them heart.

Romantic suspense is one of those genres where the setting almost becomes a character, and you’ve nailed that. The storms, the fires, the sense of danger creeping into the ordinary—it keeps the pages turning, while the layered relationship between Chance and Allie keeps readers invested. That combination of high-stakes drama and intimate connection is exactly what makes a book stick in a reader’s memory."

 

 Okay, it's actually Allie who gets Chance out of danger in the opening scene, but other than that--wow. I thought I was just writing a fun romantic adventure. Now, I tracked that one down to an actual legitimate human book promoter, although I think it's safe to assume she's not doing a deep read on every book she encounters.

Here's one for Storm Chaser's sequel, The Notorious Ian Grant:

 

"Ian Grant’s whirlwind arrival in storm-ravaged Hurricane, Indiana, and the resulting comedy of errors with his sister’s wedding and local law enforcement, promises readers a delightful mix of romance, humor, and emotional stakes. Fran Vargas’s no-nonsense approach adds a perfect counterbalance, ensuring the story resonates with fans of romance that combines laughter with unexpected connection." 

  

I spent a month writing the novel, but the blurb took me a year.

That's exactly the story I was trying to write! Sure, this reader might be sucking down electricity in a basement in Virginia, but it still gets me! Never mind the two paragraph sales pitch that follows.

 This kind of thing is going to work on some writers. As a group, we tend to be insecure and maybe a little desperate. There are fewer readers every year, and they're being stolen away by some computer geek who's running the electronic equivalent of a sweatshop, churning out books with no soul. Not that I'm upset about it.

So yeah, I feel like I should just take their spam and use it for my own purposes. I probably won't, though. It would make me feel dirty. You know, in a computer kind of way.

I still hate AI. 

 

 

You won’t find AI writing anything on our sites, unless I’m making fun of it:

 

·        Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

·        Barnes & Noble:  https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

·        Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

·        Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

·        Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

·        Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

·        Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

·        Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

·        Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

·        Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

·        Substack:  https://substack.com/@markrhunter

·        Tumblr:  https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

·        Smashwords:  https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

·        Audible:  https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

 

Remember: It takes a human being to write a story with heart.